Is There an Alternate Version of “The Thing” 2011 Prequel?

I finally got around to watching “The Thing” 2011 prequel I have been trying to avoid for so long. The original 1982 movie of the same name is probably my favorite monster movie of all time! So giving this new movie a chance after hearing about how shitty it was really was a hard thing to do-but I decided to see for myself if the movie sucked as bad as the reviews suggested. My verdict? Yeah it was pretty damn sucky.

First of all this movie was really not much of a prequel. It was basically a remake that tried to do everything the original did but just ten times less impressive. Sure it linked at the end to the Carpenter version but overall this movie didn’t bring anything new to the table. The story was pretty bland, as were the characters even though the movie was pretty well shot and looked very similar to the original-all except for the special effects.

Now we all know that the 1982 version is really the king of practical monster effects. It still remains to this day as perhaps the most creepy and realistic looking effects on screen. The new version however looked as fake and pathetic as ever. Like something out of DOOM interacting with real people. But was it always meant to be that bad? I guess not. The movie originally boasted that no CGI would be used and from what I have read 80% of it was shot with bad ass practical monster effects. Then when the movie was show to the studio they were told the monsters were too slow and they needed the monsters to be jumping around more ect. So they had to go back and reshoot and mostly cover up the old effects with CGI to give it a more modern look. By modern it ended up getting a more fake video gamey look that the kids love so much today. Anyway I am curious-is there a version out there with the original effects?! How about releasing a special edition original cut version? Well here’s a little video that shows you some of the magic that could have been in the 2011 version…

My New Favorite TV Series? Most Likely!

I just simply cannot believe that up until a few minutes ago I had never heard of the Canadian TV series “Todd and The Book of Pure Evil”! I was just on Fangoria checking out another amazing review for the upcoming Joss Whedon horror flick “Cabin in the Woods” (which I am definitely going to see next month) when I stumbled upon the ad for the “Book of Pure Evil” that said “Out Now on Dvd” so I did a quick search and watched some clips from it-it looks so awesome!

My question why has this slipped under my radar for so long? It looks like it was released in the United States last August on Fearnet, so it’s quite possible that since I don’t have cable tv and don’t plan on getting it ever, that it wasn’t in my cards to see this until it was released on dvd. Anyway I am pumped as this show looks full of monsters and mayhem-and even better yet they used all old school monster effects and little to no CG. As I watched the trailer I kept thinking “Jack Brooks: Monster Slayer” and I came to find out that it’s the effects team that was involved in that movie that worked on the first season.

Here’s the official synopsis tell me it doesn’t sound rad:
Todd, Curtis, Jenny, and Hannah are students at Crowley High, the only high school in a small town secretly founded by Satanists. After encountering a cursed magical tome with a mind of its own, the Book of Pure Evil, which grants the wishes of those who hold it in dark and sinister ways they didn’t intend, they team up in an attempt to track down and destroy the Book.

It sounds and looks like something any Buffy fan is bound to love and you can see the resemblance of the book as it heavily borrows from Evil Dead II-crazy how much that movie continues to influence the genre-I will be checking this out asap-I suggest if you’re a late bloomer like me on this series that you should do the same!

It’s 2012 – Time to Rhyme the Current Events!

Are you sick of hearing the same old same old news talk on CNN or Fox news? All the same old B.S. delivered and served up for us all the same way? Yeah me too, so take a second to check out the current events delivered in a little bit less obnoxious fashion-a genius rap to give you a lesson in what’s up in the world here in 2012…enjoy!

More Mignola Cartoons Please!!

For those of you cartoon lovers out there I wanted to make sure that none of you missed “The Amazing Screw-on Head” from 2006. Based off of a Mike Mignola of Hellboy fame, one shot comic book of the same name from 2002. This single episode was the pilot for what was hoped to be a Sci-Fi channel original series. For whatever reason it was not picked up and we are left simply with this 22 minute episode full of brilliant animation, awesome quirky characters and a ton of action! I love Mignola and weekly read his comics and if there were more cartoons out there like this one the world would be a much better place!

Screw-on Head is the occult robot investigator of Abe Lincoln (this ass wipe again?! don’t get me started!) who can screw his head on and off into different bodies. He then follows Lincoln’s orders to fight zombies werewolves and whatever else goes bump in the night-kinda like a prequel to BPRD. The pilot had a survey to get peoples reactions, apparently it was too out there for the masses. It even had a star studded cast of Paul Giamatti, Patton Oswalt, Molly Shannon & David Hyde Pierce. What more could you ask for people? Well anyway if like rad cartoons and have never seen this check it out – you won’t be disappointed as it looks exactly like Mignola’s artwork has jumped off of the page of one of his comics!!

The Original ” A Nightmare Before Christmas” ?!

Wow we were all fooled into thinking “The Nightmare Before Christmas” was so damn original when it came out-but that’s because most people I know never even knew that Rankin / Bass’ “Mad Monster Party” even existed!! I know that I didn’t but it’s a documented fact that Tim Burton did and it was a big influence on his stop motion stuff. I am probably the biggest Rankin / Bass Christmas Special fan of all time – but today I just discovered the Rankin / Bass stop motion animated world is larger than I imagined! That’s quite a good thing!

This movie has got classic monsters like The Werewolf, The Creature from the Black Lagoon, The Hunchback, Invisible Man, Jekyll & Hyde, Mummy, It ( a King Kong knock off), Dracula, Boris Karloff as Frankenstein and his Bride played by Phyllis Diller. It’s also penned by MAD magazine writer Harvey Kurtzman!

So this is on my list of must see dvds. I know that it was released in 2009 on dvd so I assume it’s going to be easy to find and probably right on youtube. It came out in 1967 yet it took me until 2012 to discover-I love it!! It makes me wonder how many other great stop motion movies are out there that I have no clue about?! It will be a fun search….

Sherlock Holmes : The Dufus!

I finally got around to check out the latest Sherlock Holmes movie with Robert Downey Jr. and it was exactly what I thought it was going to be,a dumb fun romp of a movie. No surprises really there I enjoyed it quite a bit like the first installment however this Guy Ritchie Sherlock was COMPLETELY different than any Sherlock that we’ve ever seen or known of. This confused some and made others angry as Holmes was never an all out crazed brawler in the past. This didn’t bother me too much, sure it didn’t really feel like I was watching a real Sherlock adventure but I don’t mind a different take on classic characters every now and then. That’s why I urge any of you people out there looking for a great different Sherlock Holmes movie to check out “Without a Clue” from 1988.

This is definitely a different take on our beloved hero. In this movie Holmes played brilliantly by Michael Caine is actually a boozing unemployed dufus actor who couldn’t find his way out of a public restroom. The brains behind the operation is secretly Watson played by Ben Kingsley, who creates the persona of Sherlock Holmes so he can solve crimes secretly while trying to secure a position at a highly respectable medical practice. This is quite an interesting take on the legend and it’s a helluva good time.

It’s a treat seeing the bumbling Holmes taking orders from Watson, watching Sherlock hog the spotlight with out a clue as to what the hell he is talking about as he fools Scotland Yard into thinking he’s a superhuman crime solving super hero. It’s a perfect anti-buddy comedy as soon Sherlock’s got everyone fooled and is soon chosen to solve the movies mystery on his own as Watson is suddenly “killed” in a plot by the evil Moriaty and suddenly he has to try and play the part of the legend on his own for real.

I love the period of Sherlock Holmes that’s part of the charm for me with these movies but this one is just a splendid 1980’s movie that’s a perfect watch alongside “Murder by Decree” & “Young Sherlock Holmes” which is hands down my favorite Sherlock flick ever. Though the movie back in the 80’s received relatively poor reviews I think it’s charming little adventure. If you get the craving for more mysterious adventure make sure to check out this often overlooked lil’ gem!

Still Trying to Forget The “New Monkees” of 1987!!

Well I have had The Monkees on the brain since hearing of Davy Jones passing yesterday. It got me thinking of the Monkees when I was a kid and how much I loved them. It also got me thinking of something else I wish I could forget-do any of you remember The New Monkees?!!

If not that’s probably a good thing! If you do then you know what a crap-tas-tic idea and show this was. The year was 1987 and in 1986 the Micky Dolenz and Peter Tork released the hit song “That Was Then, This is Now” remember that? Well it brought on a sort of Monkees revival and someone over at Columbia Pictures thought the answer to this new rise in popularity was….The New Monkees.

These idiots had zero to do with the old group but somehow they got a tv show, an album and the band name The Monkees! Not a bad deal huh!? Well what happened was nobody gave a shit about the NEW Monkees, their show or their music-because well, people loved the REAL Monkees!!! I know as a kid this shit didn’t compare and it actually made me angry when this show would suddenly appear on my tv screen! Geez…anyway they made some really bad 80’s music and 13 really incredibly unfunny tv episodes….so live it up New Monkees today you get another 5 seconds of fame from me here….Enjoy!!

Davy Jones: My Favorite Scooby Doo Character…

It’s bummed me out big time today upon finding out that Davy Jones, my favorite Monkee passed away today. I LOVE the Monkees, I always have they have been a huge part of my childhood with my parents playing their music, watching the tv show as a child after school and even more so as a kid seeing Davy Jones guest star on Scooby Doo! Below are the concept Davy Jones Scooby cartoon art for the epsiode!

Yeah he appeared on the legendary 1972 episode of the New Scooby Doo Movies called “The Haunted Horsemen of Hagglethorn Hall”. These episodes were an hour long and featured guest stars like Batman & Robin, Phyllis Diller, Don Knotts and The Harlem Globetrotters. From what I remember of this episode was that Scooby and the Gang were off to help Davy Jones solve a mystery of a castle he inherited-He sang a super groovy song to a huge monster toad too. Davy was my favorite voice of the Monkees, I never got to see them live, but I should have…rest in Peace Davy….

Universal Dork : The Song!

So I could go on on on and on about all the multi million dollar movies out there and hype them up even more, or talk mad shit on them til the cows come home-but really do they need anymore people promoting their shit for them? I think not. Instead though I am going to hype up my new song I wrote with Ensly Mogul my spacehall nerdcore partner in crime. In fact he was an original contributor here on Universal Dork and from time to time used to post here. I have been releasing nerdcore dance hall for years and just recently started up writing new jams and rehearsing with Mogul for live shows.

Anyway we just recently put the finishing touches on this one, which is a nerdcore mix of hip hop, reggae spacehall bursting with dork rhymes galore. This is the second track we’ve released and it will be part of our upcoming full length album – dorks unite and please help us spread the word and let us know what you think so far!

The Evolution of the CG Hulk….

Yesterday there was a brand spankin’ new image of The Hulk released to the public for the upcoming Avengers movie. I must admit it’s the best most realistic looking one yet but to really be certain it’s perfect we’ll have to see this once again entirely computer generated character in the flesh or um…pixels or whatever it is on screen moving around with living breathing real human beings. Lets face it the last two Hulks were pretty piss poor and personally I rather see Lou Ferrigno back with the ripped jeans and green paint than more of this poorly done cg. However this still shot of the Hulk does look pretty dang nice and I am willing to keep an open optimistic mind about ol’ Jade Jaws until I see it for real. Lets though take a look at all three of these cg fakers and see if the new image actually holds up…

First the Ang Lee CG “dumb jock football player” Hulk…

Verdict: Wow this one looks even worse than I remember! What is that live action Shrek doing onscreen with Jennifer Connelly?! Did George Lucas do this cg version of The Hulk on his lunch break?! This one has GOT to be one of the worst cg charcters of all time!!

Second we have the Ed Norton “totally ripped” Hulk…

The verdict: This one actually looked pretty good….as long as there weren’t any real human beings on screen with him! This one at least got the look and spirit of The Hulk correct. Plus he wasn’t twenty five feet tall like the “Jolly Green Giant” Hulk that Ang Lee gave us. Still this version of The Hulk was to me quite a disappontment.

Lastly we’ve got a newly released shot of the “Joss Whedon can do no wrong” Hulk…

Verdict: This one is hands down the most realistic looking one yet but that don’t mean squat til we see him standing next to Robert Downey Jr. I am willing to bet this one could win the prize, but if it doesn’t well three strikes and you’re out CG Hulk!! With that said we still have the Guillermo De Toro Hulk to look forward to and I am sure that one will deliver the goods…