Universal Dork

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  • The Cabin in the Woods – Go See it NOW!!

    It’s no doubt to me that I have seen two of the BEST movies this year at the theater in the span of a week! How often does that happen? Last week I was lucky enough to catch “The Raid: Redemption” which will easily be the best action movie of the year or maybe even the past decade. This Saturday I saw “Cabin in the Woods” and was blown away!

    What an awesome original idea for a movie. I know, I know you think it’s just another Evil Dead rip off? Wrong. It’s not at all what I expected, though to say it doesn’t share some similarities with Evil Dead wouldn’t be true. However it’s something truly of it’s own. I did a blog a couple weeks ago about wishing for Hollywood to kick out something original instead of remakes and rehashes. Well this movie is a prime example of what I wished for in every way. A fresh, inventive slice of cinema.

    Now I am not going to spoil it for anyone who hasn’t seen it yet. What I can say is that it best that you know as little as possible about this one if you plan to see it. I purposely avoided reading reviews for this before I saw it and it really did make the experience that much better! So stay away from spoilers for as long as you can!

    What I will say here is that it’s a comic book, sci fi, horror fan’s wet dream in every way imaginable. It’s a funny, scary, exciting, gory , unique adventure-with some great twists along the way. The effects are brilliant as well, straying as far as possible from CG schlock as it can. Most of the film has a highly organic vibe to it and when there is any CG it’s used only when needed and tastefully at that. We all know that Hemsworth stars in the movie and I can’t help but think they waited strategically to release this movie, as it was made a couple years ago, to cash in on his Avengers/Thor star power. My question is where does The Cabin in the Woods go from here? I can only hope it doesn’t spawn any un-needed sequels and if it does it better have the same creative team of Whedon & Goddard. Personally I think this movie is best left alone as a one shot. It just can’t get any better than this!

  • The Avengers Assemble and Search for Employment?!

    Been watching these cool little videos lately called “Avengers Assemble!”. They are pretty damn fun, well done and they’ve got a ton of them up. They take on modern problems like Healthcare, jobs, romance, oil spills, car pooling, don’t ask don’t tell, just to name a few.

    They have a lot of different Marvel characters that show up in the episodes and one even stars Stan Lee! Check it out as Ms. Marvel tries to land a job, proving it ain’t easy to find one these days! Make sure to watch after the credits…

    oh yeah even superheroes are having a tough time with health care these days!

  • The Best Album Cover of 1980 – El HULK De La Salsa!

    Well I really don’t have a helluva lot to say about this here because well, this picture pretty much says it all! This album cover comes from 1980 by salsa band “Sociedad 76” and it’s called “El Hulk De La Salsa”. That’s what you get on the cover, Hulk getting ready to beat down on some drums to some sweet salsa jams! I really don’t care how god or bad this group is they are already the BEST salsa band around for the simple fact they got a Hulk on their damn cover!

  • Baywatch Nights Season 2 Marathon! The Poor Man’s X-Files!

    Yes! I just discovered that Baywatch Nights season two is all on Youtube! So I’ve recently been re-watching some of this stuff and it’s awesome! See what some people don’t remember is that when Baywatch Nights started out it was just a spin-off of the original show with Mitch Buchannon (Hasslehoff) continuing his beach front patrol into the late night, BUT when the ratings dropped after the first season the Hoff wanted to jump on the bandwagon of the success of the X-Files!

    So what happened in season two? Suddenly the Baywatch universe was jam packed with the ridiculous supernatural creatures with only one man who could get to the bottom of shit-you guessed it The Hoff!

    Still playing the same character! A lot of people never even knew this happened, they were too damn busy watching the X-files…so now I figured was as good a time as any to see what the hell I missed back in the day. Well it seems I missed a LOT! If you got some time to kill and brews to drink check out some of these-here’s a good one “Frozen out of Time” where Hasselhoff hunts down two real life vikings who’ve been thawed from the ice and storm the waterfront beating up local fisherman with their catches of the day-CLASSIC!!

  • Happy Easter! Just Another Reason to Showcase This Awesome Cover Again!

    Happy Easter! Yeah Easter egg hunts, Cadbury eggs, Easter baskets and of course bunnies! So you know what that means? Yes time to showcase the worst comic book team up EVER yet again! Superman & The Quik Bunny!!! This is NOT the first time this cover has graced the blog and it won’t be the last! I used to own this comic as a kid as you could order it from Quik that yummy powder chocolate milk mix drink! Boy even back in the day I thought this comic book sucked! Nothing cool about it at all just “Quiky” the lame bunny and Superman taking on the Weather Wizard. My question is did Superman really need the help of the mother fucking Quik Bunny to defeat the Weather Wizard?!!

    Well you know what? You’d think this Quik Bunny comic book bullshit would stop right there but nope! Apparently Marvel was SO impressed with how bad ass the Quik Bunny was in the DC Superman/Quiky team up one shot that they decided to cross him over into the Marvel Universe! Yeah Marvel then teams him up with Spider-man!

    There you have it folks! HAPPY EASTER!!

  • “The Raid: Redemption” Raises the Bar!

    I just wanted to take a second of your time here to let you you all know that I saw “The Raid: Redemption” last night on the big screen and it’s by far living up to all the hype. This new Indonesian film pulls no punches and sets the standard for all action films that dare to come after. Sorry future action films but at this point you may want to throw in the towel! Stallone if you haven’t already seen this movie you may want to go back reshoot the upcoming Expendables 2 because I’m fairly certain it ain’t gonna come anywhere close to The Raid.

    The last films I saw that came anywhere close were those of Tony Jaa like my personal favorite The Protector and his Ong Bak stuff. But even those now seem to have been under minded by The Raid. I am sure it won’t be long before the films main star Iko Uwais hits American films and director Gareth Evans as well.

    It’s funny because Holly wood has already jumped all over this film and are planning a remake…uggh….why spoil a beautiful thing? How about just push this original version?

    Also the films other star was Pencak Silat, the Indonesian martial art. Watching this style of fighting is truly breathtaking however glamorized or exaggerated it was. Another star worth mentioning from the movie was Yayan Ruhian who plays “Mad Dog” the main crime lord’s number one henchman. He really serves as the movies major villain and his final battle is one that will be remembered for decades.

    The movie is beautifully shot, incredibly tense & jam packed with some of the best action sequences I have ever seen. It’s one of the few action movies I have seen that had the crowd actually cheering, ooing and ahhing. Well I can’t say they just don’t make ’em like that anymore because they did. Step aside John Woo…

    Here’s a little video I found that showcases some real Pencak Silat in action in the real world….

  • The Number One Easter Themed Horror Flick!

    Guess what? Easter Sunday is only a couple days away and I’m sure you’re all wondering what the heck are you going to watch later that night while munching down on all your chocolate Cadbury eggs? Well fear not fellow dorks that’s why I’m here to save your Easter with some useless knowledge!

    Let me tell you there aren’t too many Easter themed horror movies out there and with the few there are to choose from it’s crucial you don’t waste your time this year. There are some newer movies like “Peter Rottentail”, “Easter Bunny, Kill Kill!” and “Kottentail” that you could waste your time with. All of them look like they’re filmed by high school students filming using their cell phones. So if that’s what you’re into don’t hesitate. I however will be watching the one and only great Easter themed movie….Critters 2!

    The first Critters was pretty great obviously borrowing on the trend that the Gremlins started. Well part 2 is actually pretty damn fun also. Directed by Mick Garris this 1988 classic hits heavy on the Easter theme as the residents of the small town of Grover’s Bend mistake Critter eggs for Easter eggs, use them for the yearly egg hunt and soon they are rolling rampant wrecking havoc on the town! They even attack the Easter Bunny himself! So people make no mistake about it it’s Easter themed horror at it’s best…

  • Michael Bay Destroys Our Childhood Nostalgia & I Don’t Care!!

    I really don’t spend too much time thinking about Michael Bay or the fact that he likes to takes everything we loved from our yesteryears as children and teenagers and turns them into a pile of dirty Depends. Really the more I think about it all the more I really really just don’t care anymore! Yeah he had a shot at making an amazing Transformers movie but did you really think anyone in mainstream Hollywood was going to make some totally cool movie version really in this day and age?

    Fat chance, every now and again we get something really good these days like The Dark Knight or Hellboy II from Hollywood. But all you fanboys and gals out there need to get over it and move on already! You want to watch a good Transformers movie? Then watch the classic Transformers movie from the 80’s! Are you pissed that Bay has got his hands on the Teenage…or um, sorry excuse me, “Ninja Turtles” franchise? Well then read the original series from the mid 1980’s because you know what? They already fucked up the film when they made it in 1990, I remember back in the day I thought the movie was a watered down shitty ass kiddie version of the dark themes of the original books.

    Sure today I accept it and even have a soft spot for the live action cheez of the early 90’s TMNT films complete with Vanilla Ice lets not forget. Sure Bay making a movie will suck big time of course but it’s not like it’s going to be competing against cinematic genius of the original Turtles movies!

    So yeah now he’s going to make some Halloween movies. He’s already ruined Freddy, Jason & Leatherface so for him to leave out Mike Myers would be sorta just incomplete in the grand scheme in the shittiest way possible. Besides Rob Zombie already put a lame spin on the franchise when he tried to remake them!

    So really at this point who cares? Personally I’m a little tired of Michael Myers anyway I mean the guy doesn’t even speak for cryin’ out loud. People now do you all really need to see him in yet another damn film anyway?! I mean we’ve got like ten films as it is!! Same really goes for Freddy, Jason, Leatherface, Chucky ect ect ect….I if want to see a good film I’ll watch the originals. I just don’t care anymore-I’m tired of schlock that they try to spoon feed us-so you know what? I just am not going even bother anymore. Personally there are a lot more exciting things going on that are new and fresh ideas-Did you all see Attack the Block last year? Or Tucker & Dale Vs. Evil? There are still NEW ideas out there being made that are great. But people don’t expect Hollywood to churn out classics anymore of your favorite childhood nostalgia-watching these major blockbuster movies is like eating shitty junk food and washing it down with some neon colored extreme Gatorade. Sooner or later you’re gonna puke and instead eat something that in the end is better for you and made with a little more care.

    So I say Michael Bay, Tim Burton & all you other modern day hacks eat your heart out-go crazy-remake it all! Rob our childhoods! I probably won’t even notice that it’s happening because I have got the classics still and can’t wait for the next new fresh ideas to hit the screens or my dvd player. But the rest of you people stop going and see all this shitty cinema and then complaining! You are all the reason that he keeps on making more shit in the end….

  • The OTHER April Fools Horror Flick!

    I supposed everyone today has HUGE plans to watch the awesome “April Fool’s Day” horror flick from 1986 tonight huh?! What? Maybe not? Well speak for yourself folks-I’ll most likely be popping that one in later this evening-but for you out there that do actually give a shit there’s another April Fool’s movie from ’86 called Slaughter High. Never seen it?

    Well if you are gonna check this one out today is the perfect day-it was originally set to be called April Fool’s Day here in the USA but it seems the other movie beat them to the punch, though in Japan it’s know by that title as Vestron video released.

    Anyway this one is a true gem for any 80’s horror fanatic! It really has it all and is super over the top more so than most slasher films of that era. It’s jam packed with the most asinine group of teens / future adults you’re likely to see in the eighties! So when they do kick the bucket, and boy do they ever in the best ways possible, it’s a helluva good reward to see! It’s also got a disfigured enraged nerd in a jester clown suit running rampant for revenge through the school halls! This movie could be next on my list for bad movie night because it’s one of the best! If you don’t believe me check out the trailer and see for yourself!

  • Truly Strange Celebrity Comic Book Appearances! Part 2!

    So guess who else was immortalized into a comic book back in 1984? None other than David Letterman! Yeah he made his first comic book appearance in The Avengers #239! It seems that Wonder Man used his connections as an actor to get the team on Late Night’s most popular television show! However this appearance is no cake walk for the team as the dastardly super villain Fabian Stankowicz aka The Mechano Marauder attacks the team on live television with his crazy ass gadgets! He then takes the guest seat and chats with Letterman about how his plan is foiling The Mighty Avengers in front of a live audience.

    The Avengers who are unable to take down Fabian due to a force field he’s got surrounding him and Dave-so yes folks it’s up to Letterman to take matters into his own hands and steal the show! This issue sounds pretty ridiculous huh?

    Well it was one of those “assistant editor” issues that came out in ’84 where you basically got a zany issue of the unpredictable! Damn those were the days back in the 80’s! Also Paul Shaffer is seen in the issue rockin’out-folks next time you’re back issue shopping grab up this little gem of an issue!