Category: Movies

Under the Bed: New Old School Monster Mayhem!

I’ve been out doing a ton of cool summer stuff lately and decided to take a break from the blogging for a couple weeks, kind of summer break. It’s tough to find cool shit to write about everyday that’s not just regurgitating stories from Ain’t it Cool or Bleeding Cool and sometimes I feel like adding even more hype to huge Hollywood blockbusters is an uninteresting, uninspired waste of time. I mean what’s Hollywood done for me lately?! So I was waiting until something cool that’s a little more under the radar got me pumped to do a blog again. Well it came in the form of bad ass little flick called “Under the Bed”!

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This cool little monster movie is brought to you by director Steven C. Miller who brought us Automaton Transfusion, The excellent Aggression Scale and more recently the Silent Night, Deadly Night remake. I honestly have been looking forward to Under the Bed for a while now and thankfully it delivered the goods. The movie is described as a ‘suburban nightmare’ which rings true, however I see it as a more Dante-esque style “kids in danger” monster movie. It’s basically a tale of two brothers who go to battle with a vicious creature who lives under their bed.

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Older brother Neil, comes back to live with his father, his new wife and his younger brother Paulie. After a two year leave of absence trying to deal with the death of his mother and his previous battle with the monster he returns to his small hometown where everyone thinks he’s bat shit crazy and his father is on the verge of a mental breakdown himself. He soon learns that his younger brother Paulie has also been terrorized by the same evil force for the last two years.

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The movie takes it’s time to get to the real action, but the movie doesn’t lose steam at any point. It’s well shot, well acted and pretty dang creepy. Once the boys decide to make their stand the movie changes direction drastically and the films third and final act suddenly delivers a heavy dose of unexpected gore-which was a welcome surprise! The monster also looks great and the film is pretty much devoid of CG which gives it a much more organic old school feel which I personally love.

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Once the creature appears the film jumps into hyper drive, without giving away too much it seems to have hatched from films like Poltergeist, The Gate & Insidious while still bringing something fresh and new to the suburban horror genre. I will definitely be looking for this on dvd when it’s released and I’m quite sure it will be one of my fave horror films of 2013. Right now you can see it VOD, so if you’re tired of the usual overblown, glittery, hype stuff summer blockbusters maybe it’s time to get back to the basics with a good old fashioned creature feature….

VIRUS: The Most Underrated SCI-FI Monster Movie of the 1990’s!

I had to throw some props out there today for a rad flick that seems to get no love from anyone, “Virus” is a totally bad ass B-movie from 1999 and everyone needs to get down with it already! Chances are you’ve never seen this movie, but I recently watched it again the other night and it’s like ten times more awesome than I originally remembered it to be! The movie was actually hoping to be a big Hollywood hit, but it suffered at the box office and got totally panned by the critics. Apparently we were watching two different movies?!

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Virus might be Jamie Lee Curtis’ best movie ever, however she claims it’s her worst and that she’s actually really embarrassed about appearing in it at all. I say totally WRONG Jamie! This is John Bruno’s only feature length movie he’s directed, otherwise he’s only done a handful of Star Trek: Voyager episodes and a Terminator 2  short film with James Cameron that was used at the T2: 3-D attraction at Universal Studios. Yeah I saw this one in person and it was a helluva good time!

To me though VIRUS which is based on a Dark Horse comic of the same title is jam packed with stupid awesome action and a ton of cool ass robotic monsters! I was seriously surprised to find out after watching it that it was actually not made in the late 80’s as the special effects are largely practical and the small amounts of CGI are done pretty damn flawlessly. It goes to prove once again that practical and CG used together can have some magnificent results!

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The story is pretty simple and borrows heavily from Alien, attempting at making Curtis the new Ripley. If you’re looking for substance you’re not going to find it here but if you’re looking for some gory gun blazing fun on a mysterious abandoned ship in the middle of the ocean then you’re in for a treat. Also this flick’s got a Baldwin brother and Donald Sutherland lending some of their least inspired acting chops. But actually I don’t know, does William Baldwin have any acting chops to begin with?!

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Bottom line here, this movie is rad. I could watch movies like this one all damn day long.  It’s a ton of fun and once it gets going you’ll wonder why the hell it’s missing a cult following. So I’m gonna start the cult here today and hopefully make Jamie Lee Curtis eat her words on this one….

 

 

 

 

This Is The End: The Best Potty Humor Flick of All Time?

I saw “This Is The End” this weekend and I’m gonna have to say it’s the best Potty / Dick humor movie ever made. Yeah, This is the End delivers a mass amount of dick jokes and pee pee humor galore, so much that by the end of the movie you wonder perhaps if Rogen & Goldberg wrote the movie when they were thirteen year olds. I can’t deny that this film will entertain the pants off you and probably have you laughing out loud but I ‘ve gotta say this brand of humor can get a little grating in an otherwise fine, gory and action packed flick. Maybe I’m just getting old but seeing a huge dick on everything for me loses it’s comedic power pretty quickly.  It was different in a film like Superbad. That aside I’m happy to say the movie was a damn good time.

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Surprisingly this one actually does have a bit more to offer than a hundred dick & pee pee jokes. In fact this one does almost play out more like a Shaun of the Dead / horror comedy than I was expecting. It’s pretty much got it all, the usual (and in my opinion tired) stoner comedy, some cool monsters (with huge dicks of course), some gory special fx and a who’s who of “Apatowian” cast members to see meet their demise. One of the best moments being Michael Cera’s fate as the actor plays himself as quite possibly the most irritating human on the planet, snorting tons of coke, grabbing girls butts, getting blow jobs from random girls while continuously whining like a baby. One thing is for sure Cera hasn’t aged well. But it’s clear all involved were pumped to be poking fun at themselves. That’s where the movie does work as we get to see this ensemble get down and dirty. We get to see how a bunch of rich, privileged actors deal with an apocalypse or rapture in this case when they’re some of the last people on earth who for some reason haven’t been “saved”.

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These guys clearly had blast with this one and perhaps that’s why in the end the movie despite all the dick, cum and pee pee humor and an a full on overload of product placement worked despite it’s terrible ending sequence. However this leads me to believe that this rivalry of the apocalyptic comedies is going to be easily won by Edgar Wright’s “The World’s End”. Hopefully he steers clear of the excessive dick jokes becuz Hollywood ain’t got room for any more big cocks this summer on the silver screen!

He’s Back: Arnold Will Be The Terminator Again & I Smell Disaster….

It seems it’s confirmed Arnold will be appearing again soon as everyone’s favorite cyborg. It’s now been confirmed that he will be reprising the role as the killer/hero robot in the upcoming fifth film slated to begin filming in January. Sounds great on paper but I’m not so sure this one is gonna go over well onscreen. Arnold has aged significantly, even in Terminator 3 he was starting, in my opinion, to look a bit to aged to play the legendary role.

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I originally thought he might be playing the creator of the T-800 in the next installment, which would make perfect sense but somehow it seems Hollywood just couldn’t resist trying to get him back in his original role. So what are they going to do about his, um, well..ahem changed face and physique? CGI over him? Not Cool. Just play the role the way he is now as an aged Terminator? Not believable. Heavy make up? Unlikely. A beat up Terminator with a ton of battle scars? Best option.

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I can’t say I’m too excited about this announcement. I think there are roles that just don’t work for aging actors and this one here is a prime example. A Terminator is not supposed to age. We all saw how terrible Terminator Salvation was and how that CG Arnold stuck out like a sore thumb. So what do you think will be the solution to the old Arnold back in his classic role as a man machine that doesn’t age? Are you pumped for this next chapter?

 

Wolf Cop Takes a Serious Bite Out of Crime!

Damn, I was such a big fan of the original Teen Wolf that I just had to post this trailer for the upcoming Wolf Cop movie! This one looks right up my alley as we got a full on Werewolf cop running rampant around town fighting crime! This little Canadian flick, directed by Lowell Dean is shaping up to an awesome old school style 80’s horror comedy.

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I’m a sucker for a fun werewolf flick and can’t wait for this one to drop! I’m happy to see people out there with original horror movies in the works rather than another tired remake. I may have to check out Eerie 13 as well, Lowell Dean’s first movie…

 

Cops, Robbers & Flesh Eating Witches!

I’m a big fan of Alex de la Iglesia’s movies anyone who’s seen “Day of the Beast” or “The Last Circus” clearly knows that his movies always have something incredibly different to offer to whatever genre he’s directing. His new flick “Witching and Bitching” or otherwise known as “Las brujas de Zugarramurdi” ups the mayhem ten fold as this latest trailer will leave you breathless and perhaps a bit bewildered. There’s no subtitles on any of the trailers so far so check out this quick synopsis they offered as it will help in making sense of exactly what is going on in the trailer.

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“Hugo Silva and Mario Casas play two hapless thieves, whose plan to rob a jewellery store unravels quickly when they have to bring one of their sons along, the ex-wife borrows the getaway car, they end up headed to France for Euro-Disney World instead of the planned Morocco, and they run into a coven of flesh eating witches in the Basque country.”

Due in theaters internationally in Septemeber, I can’t wait for this one to be released here in the USA check this shit out…

Mister Saturday Travels to the Land of the Lost……Riddim!

I thought I’d share this new Mister Saturday track just posted up to Youtube yesterday. Yeah I know you’re still wondering who in the hell Mister Saturday is? Well in short it’s me. I started this little project years ago, where I’d take dancehall and instrumental hip hop tracks and rapping or DJ-ing (as it’s referred to in Jamaican culture) over them. I became a big fan of reggae dancehall when I was just a kid and always wanted to hear songs about stuff that I liked, like say The Incredible Hulk, Star Trek and Dungeons & Dragons. That stuff though isn’t real big in Jamaica so I decided what the hell, I’ll make my own songs about that stuff! Somebody had to do it. So I did it, and songs like the one below are the result. Nerdcore reggae dancehall.

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I figured if MC Frontalot could invent nerdcore hip hop, then I could invent it’s reggae rappin’ counterpart. This track was an instrumental from 1985 called “Land of Rhythm” by Sly and Robbie the legendary riddim twins. I always thought it deserved some vocals so I added them, get out your break dancing attire, grab a spliff and boogie down! Subscribe to my Youtube channel to as I’m always adding more songs and vids! Been working on a live show with my partner in crime Ensly Mogul who also has been makin some wicked beats & riddims, now all I gotta do is get Frontalot or MC Chris to take me on tour with them!

Lyrics:
“The Land of the Long Lost Riddim”
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Frankenstein’s Army: The Coolest Horror Flick of 2013?!

Do you like cool monster movies as much as I do? If so Frankenstein’s Army looks like a total winner here in this most recent preview just released yesterday! I’m big fan of World War II horror movies and this one could shape up to be one of the best ones yet. To me this movie is looking like a great BPRD story arc filled to the brim with insane Nazi monster soldiers.

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It appears that the Nazi’s have their own Doctor Frankenstein that’s constructing creatures with some pretty menacing weaponry melded to their bodies. The trailer is jam packed with action gore and some pretty outstanding fx.

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I also read a pretty stellar review on BloodyDisgusting.com so this one is going to the top of my “to see list” pretty rapidly. Opening in select theaters July 26th I’m crossing my fingers this one hits a theater in Portland! Check this shit out!

A Band Called DEATH: The Founding Fathers of Punk Rock!

I just saw the recently released documentary “A Band Called Death” documentary on VOD. Let me guess, you have no idea who Death is? Well that’s not a surprise as the band is only recently getting the recognition they most rightfully deserve and it only took about 40 years! So just who the hell are these guys? Well without spoiling too much of this excellent documentary I’ll say this, they were punk before punk was punk. Yeah Death formed way back in 1971 and they were an all black punk band long long before The Bad Brains. Yep before The Ramones these guys were kicking some serious ass.

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Three brothers all who had the passion for bands like The Who and Alice Cooper got together to make some of the most ass kickin’ punk rock songs of all time. To say these guys were ahead of their time is an understatement as they were turning up loud and fast during a time when the Motown scene was booming. Not a label would touch them with a name like Death but they never faltered for nearly ten years these guys went virtually unheard and only released a 45 record to the public yet had an amazing full album that never saw the light of day until recently. They eventually disbanded and that’s where the story gets real interesting.

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This is easily one of my favorite rockumentaries I’ve ever seen it ranks right of there with ‘The Story of Anvil’ in terms of portraying the true fight of an underdog band. It’s a truly heart warming movie full of some amazing rock and roll and a load of great stories. If you’re a fan of music in general you have gotta check this out. If you thought you knew everything there was to know about punk rock and it’s origins the you need to see this. The unlikely rise of a band called Death who formed over forty years ago proves that dreams really can and do come true…

The Movie Rhino is looking like S#%T!!!! Come on Hollywood!!!!

So there’ve been some new pics from the set of Spider-man 2 and of course I’ve been pretty stoked on the idea of Paul Giamatti playing The Rhino for quite some time now. However the other day we got a teaser into his supposed “costume” or make up or in this case……Mech Armor?!! Ugggh…how I loathe these comic book movies more and more every day! I am sorry but THIS is not what The Rhino is supposed to look like people!

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This however is:

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Understand why I am so irate?! So what the hell gives here? What is this shitty mechanical looking bullshit they’re trying to pass as The Rhino?! Is the new trend making all the bad guys wear mech armor these days (ie The Silver Samurai in the upcoming Wolverine movie)? If so I ain’t down with that! Haven’t we learned enough from the Willem Dafoe Green Goblin from the first Spider-man? Why bring an iconic villain into another movie and not stay true to the source material/look? Hell create a new villain, have Giamatti play him, dress him up in mech armor and call him the fucking Hippo? How about that? That would actually be better than ruining yet another rad villain for the silver screen….

p.s. On the off chance that Giamatti is just Robotech-in’ around and this is NOT the Rhino’s actual look I apologize. But these days I don’t have much faith left in Hollywood to do any justice to our comic book characters…