Category: bad movies
The OTHER April Fools Horror Flick!
I supposed everyone today has HUGE plans to watch the awesome “April Fool’s Day” horror flick from 1986 tonight huh?! What? Maybe not? Well speak for yourself folks-I’ll most likely be popping that one in later this evening-but for you out there that do actually give a shit there’s another April Fool’s movie from ’86 called Slaughter High. Never seen it?
Well if you are gonna check this one out today is the perfect day-it was originally set to be called April Fool’s Day here in the USA but it seems the other movie beat them to the punch, though in Japan it’s know by that title as Vestron video released.
Anyway this one is a true gem for any 80’s horror fanatic! It really has it all and is super over the top more so than most slasher films of that era. It’s jam packed with the most asinine group of teens / future adults you’re likely to see in the eighties! So when they do kick the bucket, and boy do they ever in the best ways possible, it’s a helluva good reward to see! It’s also got a disfigured enraged nerd in a jester clown suit running rampant for revenge through the school halls! This movie could be next on my list for bad movie night because it’s one of the best! If you don’t believe me check out the trailer and see for yourself!
Mutant Hunt’s Matt Riker Has Got All the Wrong Moves!!
Wow I have just finished watching “Mutant Hunt” a movie I have wanted to see since I was a kid! This movie was worth the wait, if you are a fan of superhumanly bad movies like I am-especially ones that are really trying hard to cool. Well 1987’s Mutant Hunt delivers the suck in a HUGE way! First off I have to mention that when I was a kid I used to see this one at the video store all the time, the cover was always one of my favorites, I’m sure there were a few people fooled into renting this back in the day expecting something as rad as The Terminator, what they got though may be just as enjoyable. Besides what more could you ask for? It’s got hot babes, Matt Riker’s steamy sex appeal, mutant cyborgs, 80’s punks and lots of kung fu!! Aounds like a winner huh?
Look this movie follows a story of an evil mastermind named Z who turns an army of cyborgs against the people of Manhattan, while holding their inventor prisoner. Supposedly he’s given them violent sexual urges, however not one cyborg does anything remotely riske throughout the entire flick! However Matt Riker, ace martial arts master / cyborg hunter surely gets his fair share of action!! Yes Matt Riker is the handsome stud who’s got some of the most awful karate moves I have ever seen! Don’t believe me check this SHIT out as he kicks cyborg ass in his tightie whitey’s!!
In fact pretty much everyone in this movie seems to be mentally challenged when it comes to hand to hand combat-believe me there’s a ton of it in here too thank god! Also it seems that the cyborgs wear black sunglasses because we all know that’s clearly a cyborg fashion trend of the 80’s and have arms that grow and stretch, um stretch very very very slowly that is. There’s a pretty rad cyborg though that’s got most of his face ripped open that’s pretty rad who hangs out for most of the movies final act, this must have been a lot of the movies budget along with the cool cover art. The movie’s cover also suggests the movie was “too gory for the silver screen” but that’s not the case here folks-it was merely too shitty for the silver screen! Clocking in at under 75 minutes this one’s bound to be a crowd pleaser and one that Mystery Science Theater 3000 would have had a blast with…
The Hunt for Manimal!!!
I don’t know what got me started today but I am on a rabid hunt for one of the most rad 80’s series of all time “Manimal”!! What you don’t remember that one? Of course not it was only on for like 3 months before they cancelled that shit way back in1983! What the hell is a Manimal you ask? Well it’s a rad doctor dude who pretty much has everything going for him and then add on top of it one other interesting quality….he can turn into any damn animal he wants to at will! How rad is that?!
Well apparently people back in 1983 were brain dead because the little bits and peices I did remember of the show were even more mindblowing upon watching them on Youtube today! They pretty much show him transforming into all kinds of intense animals, for instance check Manimal out as he transforms into a fucking falcon below!
How cool was that? Yeah and pretty much every tranformation is like five minutes long, and the funny thing is is that when he transforms back into a “man” he has all of his damn clothes on everytime! What the hell? He seems to suffer the same condition as Bruce Banner did in the 80’s cartoon-everytime he changed back he had all his clothes on too-and they were like brand spankin’ new! So I have been on a hunt for it today as I’d like to get the whole series and bring the Pilot “Movie” to a bad movie night-as It would be bound to be a hit. Watch here as he transforms into a damn snake!
And check this out as he turns into a bad ass panther! Even the tigers and lions are like WTF?!!
From what I understand special effects wizard Stan Winston was behind the transformations-no wonder why they rule so hard! Anyway I am really hoping the series gets released soon on dvd, why they cancelled this show is beyond me….never forget….MANIMAL!!
Truly Un-Epic Hand Lasers Rule!!
So you all are aware of how much I like bad movies? You may be able to tell by my post yesterday how much I enjoy 80’s fantasy movies. So once again I stumble upon a trailer for a movie that I simply have GOT to see. It’s apparently from 1984, made in Indonesia and looks to be the shiniest turd of a film I have yet to lay my eyes upon! Check out the trailer for the most truly un-epic movie of the 80’s!
This movie seems to have it all folks! Terrible fight sequences, completely ridiculous looking special effects, laughably raunchy sex scenes, people who ride on flying rocks and who shoot lasers from their hands! It really doesn’t get any better or worse than this! Today I begin my own hunt for this craptastic gem cuzI feel a bad movie night coming on soon!
Watch Out for Uncle Sam this 4th of July!
So what are you doing this 4th of July? Watching Fireworks? BBQing? Drinkin’ beer? Well while you do all that shit-watch the hell out for Uncle Sam!!! Surely you have all seen 1997’s horror film Uncle Sam right? Well from what I understand it’s really one of the only if not the only 4th of July themed horror flicks around.
In this goofy horror romp, put out by the same people who brought you “Jack Frost” the killer snow man, comes a tale set on the 4th of July where Uncle Sam rises from his grave to keep unpatriotic people in line! Yeah just like our Government Sam’s a total dick! Directed by William Lustig, of the awesome Maniac Cop and Maniac Cop 2 this is the perfect film to view after you’ve partied down today, now if you’ll excuse me I’ve got a BBQ I gotta get to!
Obscure Super Hero Movies! Hunky Vegetables!
Ok so this isn’t really that obscure of a movie, but I do know that a good number of my friends have never actually seen 1989’s Return of the Swamp Thing!!! What the hell is up with that? You do see the original Swamp Thing movie all over the place but very rarely do you see the sequel, which is actually kind of a reboot. So I say to all you people there that love super radly bad 80’s movie’s that you best be seeking this gem out!
This box office bomb has it all really, super awesome 1980’s monsters are everywhere in this movie and even better they are throwin’ down with each other constantly! Continue reading
Obscure Super Hero Movies! Jack Tripper Kicks ASS!
Yeah! What a great discovery made today in the world of obscure super hero movies! “Hero at Large” is now the number one movie I’m trackin’ down upon my first viewing of the the trailer-it features one of my favorite people ever-John Ritter AKA Jack Tripper!!!
Yeah straight out of Three’s Company the late great Ritter apparently starred in this incredible looking zany real life super hero flick! Continue reading
Ditch the Hero and Get With The Zero Boys!
I just recently was able to see yet another great 1980’s horror movie that I had never seen before! These are really great moments for a person like myself who really thrives on a great 80’s flick that delivers the goods! Better yet is seeing one that somehow slipped through my hands up until now. This most recent movie is The Zero Boys way back from 1986.
To say this is a flat out horror movie just isn’t fair as it’s taking equal parts from 80’s action movies like Rambo and blending it all together into one fun mess of a schlocky good movie! Continue reading
Obscure Super Hero Flicks!! Part One!
Damn there are alot of super hero movies coming out huh? Thor, Captain America, The Avengers, The new Superman reboot! Jeez, these movies are still killing it at the box office! The only problem is is what are all of us dorks gonna do in the meantime while we wait for these blockbusters?! Well people, wonder no more – I have the got the cure for your super hero fever right here!
I am going to recommend you a few lesser know super hero movies that are sure to keep you on the edge of your seat!! Now ese may not have the budget of say Iron Man 2, but I think you’ll agree today’s choice is sure to fill the empty void in your life…Check out Super Fuzz from 1980!
Alice Cooper’s Monster Identity Crisis!
I loved it in the 80’s when rock stars starred in bad horror movies! One such movie, which is a real stinker is Monster Dog from 1984 starring Alice Cooper. What really do you expect from Claudio Fragasso, best know for directing Troll 2?! C’mon! So yes let me be honest with you this movie is pretty bad-but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t have it’s redeeming qualities!
The plot is simple, Cooper stars as Vincent Raven, the world’s hottest rock star and he’s traveling back to his home town to make a new hot fresh video (which by the way is a total piece of shit once you see how it turns out)! He brings along a bunch of his annoyingly square friends, who on their way to his old creepy childhood mansion home run into…..a god damn monster dog (and the token creepy crazy old dude who tells them they’re all….DOOMED)!! Continue reading
Universal Dork 