Tagged: Movie

Give Me My GOOD Hulk Comic Books Back DAMMIT!

I LOVE the Hulk! Let it once again be known! I will prove it right here and now with my new song “Don’t Make Me Angry!” which I wrote about the green goliath and my alter ego Mister Saturday’s gamma radiated adventures together. What? You never heard of Mister Saturday? The intergalactic nerdcore dancehall reggae sensation?

Well believe me I am a big star in the Andromeda Galaxy, Vulcan, Malkor III, Hoth and Naboo. So Earth hasn’t been a huge priority up until recently. Below is the song-however a proper video is in the works and should be filmed by the end of the month!

Lyrics:
Don’t make me angry, lord have mercy, now Mr. Mcgee

Don’t make me angry, you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry

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Should the Wolverine Movie Franchise Be Rebooted?!

I have been thinking about this for a while now, do I really want to see another Hugh Jackman Wolverine on the big screen? To be honest I’m not too sure I do anymore. I’m really not very excited about the Spider-man reboot to be honest and I’m quite not sure why? The last Spider-man movie was terrible, in fact I am not sure looking back how much I really like any of them anymore. I guess I just see more of the same for the movie Spider-man and I guess I’ll just have to wait and see the film in order to get excited.

New is it seems that shooting for the Wolverine sequel is set to begin in August in Australia. Hugh Jackman claims it will be better than the first film. Hmmm…well it really won’t take much to be better than that and hearing him say that isn’t exactly building the hype machine for the flick. Personally I think it may be time for someone new to take over the character. Start fresh. I’m having a tough time erasing the last two films he portrayed our favorite berserker in, they plague my mind often and when I think about them they often put me into a state of rabid dork rage!

Now first I must clarify I really do love Jackman as Wolverine. When I first saw him as the character it gave me the chills! Aside from being too tall, he was the perfect man for the job. Unfortunately when Singer left the X-Men to make a very bland Superman flick things took a serious turn into Shit-Sandwich-ville. By the time we reached X-men Origins: Wolverine we were sinking into a swamp of turds with no redemption anywhere in sight! To me I just CAN’T sit through another shitty Wolverine movie. Since I was young I always dreamed of a solo Wolverine movie and look what I got after all the years of waiting. It’s just not fair to Wolverine that Batman got Christopher Nolan. So now here we are another Wolvie movie in the works. I personally hope it falls through again. I then hope Marvel reboots the shit out of it!

It’s time to move on. Jackman was great but we just can’t erase the past here people. It’s like a girlfriend or Boyfriend who cheats on you, sometimes it just can’t ever be the same! That’s how I feel. My advice is start fresh. Don’t put him in any of the X-men films for a while. Start Solo. Get a great director who understands and loves the character. Let’s get gritty. This time let’s see what it really looks like when a mutant with Adamantium blades gets pissed off. Let’s see Wolverine slice and dice like he does in the comics. No more PG-13. It’s time for an R-rated Wolverine movie. Start the film off when he’s found in Canada by James & Heather Hudson just after the Weapon X experimentation or like the upcoming movie in Japan only based on the Frank Miller / Claremont mini series of the eighties.

Now with that out of the way there’s just one big problem, who could possibly play Wolverine this time around? How do you all feel about Jackman as Wolverine again? Are you excited?

Iron Fist Hits the Small Screen!

I would love to see Iron Fist, Marvel’s resident kung fu expert hit the big time and get a movie made about him with a ton of kick ass over the top martial arts action! However as of right now I don’t think there are any real solid plans to bring Danny Rand into theaters.

If they did though it’d be great to see his old buddy Power-Man or just simply Luke Cage (as he apparently thought his yellow & blue costume and name weren’t cool anymore) in the same movie. There have been a lot of rumours about a Cage movie coming to fruition but without Iron Fist I just don’t think it’d be as cool. Perhaps it’d simply be called Heroes for Hire? In the meantime though we can all try and enjoy this fan made Iron Fist movie,which kinda plays like a real life superhero adventure, I almost expected to see Phoenix Jones pop out and help Rand and Elektra….what do you think of this fan made short? Who would make the perfect Danny Rand in a big screen movie?

Uninvited: The Ultimate in Domestic House Cat Horror!!

The year was 1988 and it was time to finally bring the family house cat to the forefront of modern TERROR!!!! Yeah watching “Uninvited” for the first time was quite a treat. This is one that will most definitely be making the cut for Bad Movie Night!

The story is simple a shady laboratory is doing some strange experimenting on a cute little orange house cat and have determined that this little fur ball has a weird tumor growing inside of him. However these numb nut doctors accidentally let him escape, it doesn’t take much as the cat strolls out of the lab pretty leisurely while the security team is frantically on it’s trail. This is when we all first get a glimpse of the “univited” early on, this darling little cat has some crazed devil rat cat living inside it’s body. Whenever this cat gets pissed off it crawls out of it’s mouth and gives an ass kicking to anyone who steps in it’s damn way!

Pretty fucking rad huh? Well when you see this little pathetic monster who looks like he’s been swimming in Crisco cooking grease all day you may think otherwise. Every he graces the screen though I guarantee you’ll have a big fat fucking smile on your face. Anyway this cat, who’s constantly meowing without his mouth opening, ends up hopping aboard a yacht owned by a dirty money hungry gangster and a bunch of wise ass hot shot college kids. The year is 1988, that sure is clear in this flick, you get an ultra second rate music score that sounds like it was written by Boy George’s stepbrother’s cousin, impromptu dance parties, skanky 80’s babes who invite strange random dudes on a weekend sea cruise after only meeting them for literally sixty seconds. This sets the stage for an ocean boat ride of sheer idiotic terror!

We’ve got a boatload full of irritating eighties jerk offs and a cute cuddly kitty, who always looks like a completely different cat every time he shows up, with a belly full of evil ready to go ballistic anytime it gets mildly annoyed. Greydon Clark, wrote this movie must have had some serious feline issues as it’s hard to believe this concept was stretched into a full feature length film.

Still when you see the Crisco drenched devil rat cat crawling in and out of the puppet house cat’s mouth again and again it makes this shiny terd of a movie a worthwhile treat. Next time I view it I’ll make sure it’s with a room full of friends and a LOT o’ booze. Don’t miss it as it’s out on a double feature dvd now with another movie called Mutant from 1984 originally called Night Shadows, which I can only hope is as rad as Uninvited….

So Where Are The Great Lakes AVENGERS These Days?!!

I am a mid westerner originally from Wisconsin, born in Milwaukee so naturally I have a HUGE soft spot for our super hero team The Great Lakes Avengers! Well first off they were created by John Byrne one of my all time favorite people ever in the world of comic books way back in 1989. Second they were formed in / and operate out of Milwaukee Wisconsin!

So I was thing today that it’s been a while since we’ve heard a much more than peep out of these guys, aside from their brief appearance in Fear Itself: Home Front #6 -last I heard they were forced to change their name from Avengers & X-men to The Great Lakes Initiative.

Well it seems these guys are always jumping on the bandwagon, so one might naturally assume that due to this sudden popularity of the Avengers that they would surely be changing their name Back to The GLA?!

Well here’s a blog post purely made to generate a little interest from the people of the Mid-west to demand that these guys get some new born respect!! Hell how about another mini series? The Dan Slott one was great and now that the Avengers are all the rage I’m certain these guys could sell a few issues no problem!

So Marvel let’s get on the ball because there are people out there (there are some right?!) who can’t wait to read what Mr. Immortal, Big Bertha, Doorman & Flatman are up to these days? Let’s not forget that Deadpool is a reserve member of the team! In the meantime I am gonna track down all of their appearances I missed out on! Mid-west Represent-LONG LIVE THE GREAT LAKES AVENGERS!

Oh yeah…weirdly discovered a pop punk tune written by Kirby Krackle from Seattle about the team..interesting…I guess they are some sort of geek core band?

Iron Man The Pop Singer?!

Weird, today I stumbles across Avenger’s star Robert Downey Jr’s solo album he put out in 2004 called “The Futurist”. Strange stuff-I had no idea he was an adult contemporary singer! Ahhh yes my least favorite genre of music!

It seems that I’m not the only one who’s head this info skipped over. The album pretty much tanked when he released it and he went on to state that he probably wouldn’t ever attempt another one. Hey I think it was a good thing he dropped the music career personally-I’m not sure what you think but I could live with out hearing this song again…

Krush Groove: Most DEF Rap Movie EVER!

Last night was a real treat – I watched Krush Groove for the first time ever! My verdict? Totally DEF!!

It takes you straight back to 1985 in the best way possible as the movie stars Run DMC, Kurtis Blow, The Fat Boys, Sheila E and has cameos by The Beastie Boys, LL Cool J and New Edition. It’s the story of Def Jam recordings, well a very very loose version of how it all went down. What’s most important is that it’s a helluva great time.

It’s so awesome to see something that I somehow missed as a kid growing up in 2012. You get to watch Russel Simmons (Walker in the movie) form the label, compete with skeezy 80’s record producers, get into money trouble with gangsters and most of all discover new talent like The Fat Boys while falling head over heels for Sheila E.

Check out this clip of The Fat Boys as they rule the school with their rap skills…

So don’t waste anymore time-if you haven’t seen this one that’s jam packed with bad ass classic rap, break dancing and some hilarious 80’s drama you best be doing “the worm” to your local video store or netflix account asap!!

The Avengers 2 : The Top 5 Avengers to Join the Team!

Everyone is Avengers crazy at the moment and for good reason, the movie was RAD! So I asked the question what’s next for the team? Supposedly another Iron Man, Captain America, Thor, Hulk (though not confirmed) and Nick Fury movie in the works first before we get a second Avengers installment. Personally I think they should skip all the solo films and just start planning the sequel. Do we all wanna wait 5 more years to get another Avengers movie? Not me!

With a second movie we will most definitely get more Avengers! But who will be the new team members? Listen up Marvel because Universal Dork is going to give you the winning choices!! So let’s get started!

1. Giant Man

First I must say this- Why the hell was Hank Pym not in the Avengers movie?!! They should have skipped Hawkeye & Black Widow and given
us Giant Man and The Wasp! I mean how great would it have been to have seen The Hulk battle in NYC from The Ultimates with Giant Man towering above the buildings? This next movie is the perfect opportunity to bring him into the fold!

Casting Choice: Aaron Ekhart

2. The Wasp

Well if we are going to bring in Pym then of course we need The Wasp! These two go hand in hand and their relationship is quite an interesting one. She’s always dealing with Hank’s abusive behavior and if you read the Ultimates you know this would be a great story to tell! When Cap goes after Giant Man after he nearly kills the Wasp with bug spray was easily one of my favorite moments of the series!

Casting Choice: Lucy Liu (Ultimates version)

3. She-Hulk

Aside from being the hottest woman in comic books we have the perfect opportunity to bring in Jennifer Walters and She-Hulk. We already have The Hulk on board so it would be a great story in the next movie to have Ruffalo have to save his cousin with that blood transfusion. Plus who the hell doesn’t want to see a real She-Hulk in the flesh?! In this case I would highly advise NOT CG-ing her. Get a good make up artist and actually digitally enlarge her. All the fan boys wanna see the real thing this time!

Casting Choice: Christina Hendricks

4. The Vision

Yes!! The Vision is easily one of the coolest comic characters ever!!
He’s a staple Avenger, an Android and his wife is a human mutant the Scarlet Witch! I say if they decide to pass on Giant Man and The Wasp then we have to see the messed up story of a woman who falls in love with a robot!!!

Casting Choice: Bret Spiner (Duh! At least Voicing)

5. The Black Panther

Another obvious choice, the king of Wakanda needs to kick some serious ass in this next installment. Recruiting him would be a blast too as The Avengers could travel to his homeland and even get into a scuffle there in the Jungle! The Avengers need a little more color in their team, Nick fury behind the scenes just ain’t enough! T’challa however could be a whole franchise of his own as well…

Casting Choice: Wesley Snipes (if he gets out of prison! Plus he was a good Blade and already expressed interest in playing this charcter)

What do you think??

The Avengers: The Universal Dork’s Verdict!

Well folks here I am with the official scoop on The Avengers. I’m sure most have already either read how awesome this movie is or like me saw it yesterday on opening night!! Well I here by give it the Universal Dork stamped seal of approval! The Avengers delivered the goods more so than I expected. In this day and age I’m highly critical of most things Hollywood serves us up-because it’s usually a bunch of weak ass bullshit! Especially comic book movies these days, they usually kinda suck with the exception of The Dark Knight and if they don’t suck they are heavily flawed. However, put a director behind it who truly cares for the source material and you can get something incredibly mighty. This is the case with The Avengers. It could have been a complete disaster had nearly any other wack ass Hollywood hack director got their grimy little hands on it.

But alas, it was worth the wait for Joss Whedon’s vision. I really never doubted him but I was surprised when the movie exceeded my expectations. Streamlined with a simplistic story, within the first few minutes of the movie know you’re in for a treat. We’ve got a superhero sandwich here and Whedon knows how to serve it up fresh giving us quite possibly the best versions of all of these superheroes to hit the silver screen yet.

The first Iron Man movie was a heck of a good time, Norton’s Incredible Hulk proved to be a bit of a failed experiment the second time around with it’s cheap CG version of the green goliath and The Abomination, Iron Man 2 was instantly forgettable and unnecessary, Thor was passable but once again failed with bad CG, a rather stale lead and story, then finally we got Captain America which to me was the best of the bunch leading Iron Man perhaps only because of Cap’s incredibly interesting back story. The Avengers on the other hand doesn’t feel cheap or rushed. It’s exactly what you hoped it’d be and a little bit more.

We finally get us some Nick Fury in more than just thirty second cameos. Sam Jackson shines as the movie’s glue as he not only forms the team but also manages to get in on the action as well and show us why exactly he’s SHIELD’s main man. The rest of the crew were excellent as well and when they all finally appear together it feels much more special than anything marvel has ever done cinematically. It’s a riot to see them interact and argue like a bunch of unruly teenagers. The screen just doesn’t seem big enough for all of their “super” egos so when they do finally work as a team it’s well worth the trouble getting there.

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The movie never tires, it’s jammed to the brim with action, humor and some great character development. Let’s face it you gotta have some humor when listening to Thor babble or look at Steve Rogers hanging around in his red white and blue duds all day. They are quite a funny bunch of misfits actually. With that all said I think it’s time to give my two cents worth on The Hulk. I never thought I’d say it but I am kinda glad Ed Norton decided to sit this one out. Mark Ruffalo was the best on screen movie Banner yet. He brings a sort of desperation to the film and looming sense of unease as we wait nearly up to the third act before we finally get to see the green guy in action. I think this time around they almost got the Hulk perfect too. Almost. He’s easily the most realistic and convincing Hulk we’ve seen on film. He looks leaps and bounds better than the Norton version, which I recently watched again and just couldn’t get past the wretched CG green giant. This Hulk at least feels like he’s got some weight on him, rather than some flimsy “Roger Rabbit” computer generated cartoon leaping on screen with real actors. You can tell Whedon wanted to get him right this time around. I can’t say it’s my dream “movie Hulk” as you can still tell he’s a purely CG creation but a guy has got to give up at some point, as I have given up and accept that Hollywood has a formula they are sticking to special effects wise and it’s just NOT going to change. So I accept this Hulk if only because of the comparison to my last two movie representations.

Lastly I would like to point out a few things I think could have been better. Though I thought that Loki was a sufficient villain he wasn’t a very interesting one. A bit on the bland side I personally would have rather seen Baron Zemo or The Red Skull return and put together a “Masters of Evil”, just villains that are a little more captivating and frightening. Loki being a bit of an on screen bore didn’t get much help either from the Whedon created Chitauri alien race and personally I would have liked to have seen more of them in the movie as I think they could have put a little more fear into us movie goers hearts as villains. I never really believed that Loki was all that hell bent on the mission at hand. In a second installment I’d love better villains-give us Mister Hyde, Goliath, The Wrecking Crew, Titania and The Absorbing Man!

My only real big problem with the film was actually the Chitauri in the final act of the film. This falls on the fact that our heroes were doing a lot of battle with them in the city and for some reason Whedon decided to CG them entirely. They were roughly the size of an average human so why not have real actors there playing them? It at times looked a bit funny seeing these real actors battling CG aliens in hand to hand combat. I don’t want to spend anymore time on this topic, but hey Joss, just so you know nothing is better than the real thing. If you don’t have to CG it don’t do it. Remember “I am Legend” with Will Smith? Nuff said….

The Avengers regardless exceeded my expectations and put a big smile on my face. Joss Whedon did it and once again it was well worth the wait. Now it’s just a question of what’s next?!

Ok Please…Stop With the Zombie Comedies Already!

I just watched two upcoming “buzzing” zombie comedy movie trailers and I had to take just a moment of your time to say please stop!! Enough!! Please god…stop with the zombie comedies already!!! Better yet just stop with the whole zombie thing altogether! Ok you know we have all seen Evil Dead 2, Dead Alive, Return of the Living Dead, Shaun of the Dead, Zombieland, American Zombie, Fido, Dance of the Dead, Zombies of Mass Destruction, Doghouse, Zombie Strippers, Zombie Honeymoon, Undead, Blah Blah Blah Blah….Jeez! I kinda just want this whole zombie craze to disappear.

Aside from The Walking Dead Comic and TV series (which I am finally getting slightly tired of) this craze needs to die and stay dead at least for ten years or so. People you’re not going to make a better zombie comedy than Shaun of the Dead so please stop trying! Make some other comedy please, I know how much you liked Dead Alive but you know what? The world doesn’t need another one of your goofy unlikely fanboy hero nerd starring zombie comedies-the market is full, overflowing and more dead than punk rock. I wonder am I the only one? Because even the zombie comedies that look kinda good I just don’t care to sit through anymore!

This one here “Juan of the Dead” which is opening at a theater down the street from me just don’t excite me! Really now “Juan of the Dead”? Uggh….

Yeah it doesn’t really look too bad huh? Too bad I was interested in seeing this movie six years ago!!!

Oh and I was on Ain’t It Cool and they had this one written up called “A Little Bit Zombie” a quirky offbeat zombie comedy with the same stupid characters that you saw eight years ago back when these characters were kinda funny actually…Ok so I will admit the poster is pretty cool, but really folks do we really need to waste more time sitting through more shit like this?

Maybe I am crazy but I don’t care how RAD your zombie comedy is I have seen fifty others that were done in the past five years that are better and then before that fifty more back in the 1980’s! Give it a rest!! 😉