Tagged: Movie

Ben Affleck is the New BATMAN?!

Yep-seems that we have a new Batman again, not the perfect choice of Joseph Gordon Levitt but Ben Affleck as USA Today has just reported! Not sure what to think about this, I suppose Affleck has gotten to be better through the years. Somehow though I just can’t erase that wretched Daredevil flick from 2003 from my mind! I can’t say I’m thrilled but everyone deserves a chance at redemption right?! Ok Ben, don’t fuck this one up!!!

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Ok, though let’s NOT forget this bullshit though ok?

Andre the Giant &The Lost Princess Bride Scene!!

Ha ha well ok you got me, it’s not a lost Princess Bride scene but it does feature the late, great wrestling superstar Andre the Giant going crazy for giant Honeycomb cereal as his persona from the movie!

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I remember when this cereal came out-it was all the rage, anything made bigger back then was always better! I think this commercial is from around the time he appeared in The Princess Bride! A nice little reminder of how bad ass the 80’s were!

The Conspiracy: Creepy Creepy Rich People Attack!

I’ve been reading a lot of info lately on Bohemian Grove, the two week long retreat in Monte Rio California set up exclusively for the richest most powerful men in the world. It’s guests include people like George Bush, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Richard Nixon and many more politicians and corporate icons. What do they do there?

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Apparently they discuss business and political deals, talk about the “Little Men” which are people like me and most likely you and the rest of the general populace, drink, run around naked, do drugs and enjoy some strange rituals like the “Cremation of Care”. Sounds crazy huh? Well it’s true and it’s been going on for a long time. It’s gathered so much attention through the years that Occupy San Francisco has been showing up to protest their secret meetings.

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Love him or hate him, In 2000 Alex Jones infiltrated the compound and exposed first hand the “Cremation” ritual with a camera he smuggled in. It was a bit of “big news” that year, and even if you think Jones is full of shit, no one can deny that his video is pretty damn captivating. Check out what happens when Jones confronts David Gergen  political advisor to four Presidents Clinton, Nixon, Ford  and Reagan. It’s a pretty chilling reaction, but it’s toward the end of his interview just as Gergen starts to get a little too comfy…

So Bohemian Grove sounds like something right out of a crazy horror movie huh? Well there’s a cool looking flick coming out soon called “The Conspiracy” that looks truly creepy. What if some people like Alex Jones while infiltrating a place like Bohemian Grove were discovered by it’s guests? Well it seems this movie, a mockumentary, gives us a chilling possibility of what that might look like. The clip on Dread Central kinda freaked me out, check it out as this movies already got stellar reviews. Now I’m not a huge Conspiracy theorist, but I must say a lot of this stuff really intrigues me and I do believe there’s some truth to much of these ideas. The funny thing is people are becoming much more interested about what these high powered fat cats are doing behind closed doors. People want to know what they’ve got planned for the masses as even of late the protests at the Bilderberg meetings. So this flick is going to be right up my alley let’s just hope it’s not too close to the truth!!!

 

 

Hardcore SCOOBY DOO horror!

I checked out the much hyped indie flick “Saturday Morning Mystery” the other evening with high hopes. In case you have no idea what this new movie is all about it can be summed up pretty simply: live action Scooby Doo in an R-rated horror flick. Sounds pretty fantastic right? It’s clearly a pretty great idea but beware, these characters though clearly based on the cartoons aren’t really the comic relief you might be expecting. This is a more realistic take on the group, so don’t expect the dog, named Hamlet to be talking in this one. The rest of the characters are more true to life as well Floyd(Shaggy) smokes weed and does acid, Chadwick(Fred) & Gwen(Daphne) have wild sex and Nancy(Velma) has a crush of her own on one of the team members.

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The movie starts out pretty strong, with the gang investigating a haunted house, but soon like the cartoon find that behind the curtains are just some normal yet truly sick people. They’re even reprimanded by the police for messing up their covert operation-those meddling kids!! It’s not long before the gang is running low on funding for their paranormal investigations so they decide to tackle one last case in hopes of maybe discovering something supernatural before throwing in the towel. Their last case leads them in their vintage van to an abandoned “haunted school” where there’s rumors of satanists and ghosts within it’s walls.

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There’s not too much more I can or should tell you about the story. It’s got a few twists and turns and for the the most part is a pretty solid horror flick with a great premise. However I think the premise of this film is by far it’s strongest attribute. If you take away the whole “Scooby Doo” theme there honestly wouldn’t be a heck of a lot to really separate this from anything else out there. To me they could have benefited by adding a little more comedy, naivety and color to the characters and the story. There could have been more of “Scooby” or Hamlet I should say, in the story as it seemed maybe the film was played a little too real, at least  for what I was hoping for.

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I also hoped for the sets to be a bit more interesting, it’s have been cool to see them an truly unique and colorful haunted setting. An old haunted school should have looked and felt more like it would have in the cartoon, but perhaps it wasn’t in the budget? The settings (at the very least the inside of the school) were a bit bland for my expectations. The film takes a turn in it’s third act and gets gory and gritty and this really would have been more effective had out gang acted a little more like their cartoon counterparts. At times it brought to mind say “Night of the Demons” or “Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2” but clearly operating on a lower level. “Evil Dead meets Scooby Doo” is what Aint it Cool News called it-not quite. In the end though I think it was a decent, solid effort that doesn’t quite live up to the hype. On a more positive note, I gotta give it best movie concept of the year!

Under the Bed: New Old School Monster Mayhem!

I’ve been out doing a ton of cool summer stuff lately and decided to take a break from the blogging for a couple weeks, kind of summer break. It’s tough to find cool shit to write about everyday that’s not just regurgitating stories from Ain’t it Cool or Bleeding Cool and sometimes I feel like adding even more hype to huge Hollywood blockbusters is an uninteresting, uninspired waste of time. I mean what’s Hollywood done for me lately?! So I was waiting until something cool that’s a little more under the radar got me pumped to do a blog again. Well it came in the form of bad ass little flick called “Under the Bed”!

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This cool little monster movie is brought to you by director Steven C. Miller who brought us Automaton Transfusion, The excellent Aggression Scale and more recently the Silent Night, Deadly Night remake. I honestly have been looking forward to Under the Bed for a while now and thankfully it delivered the goods. The movie is described as a ‘suburban nightmare’ which rings true, however I see it as a more Dante-esque style “kids in danger” monster movie. It’s basically a tale of two brothers who go to battle with a vicious creature who lives under their bed.

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Older brother Neil, comes back to live with his father, his new wife and his younger brother Paulie. After a two year leave of absence trying to deal with the death of his mother and his previous battle with the monster he returns to his small hometown where everyone thinks he’s bat shit crazy and his father is on the verge of a mental breakdown himself. He soon learns that his younger brother Paulie has also been terrorized by the same evil force for the last two years.

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The movie takes it’s time to get to the real action, but the movie doesn’t lose steam at any point. It’s well shot, well acted and pretty dang creepy. Once the boys decide to make their stand the movie changes direction drastically and the films third and final act suddenly delivers a heavy dose of unexpected gore-which was a welcome surprise! The monster also looks great and the film is pretty much devoid of CG which gives it a much more organic old school feel which I personally love.

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Once the creature appears the film jumps into hyper drive, without giving away too much it seems to have hatched from films like Poltergeist, The Gate & Insidious while still bringing something fresh and new to the suburban horror genre. I will definitely be looking for this on dvd when it’s released and I’m quite sure it will be one of my fave horror films of 2013. Right now you can see it VOD, so if you’re tired of the usual overblown, glittery, hype stuff summer blockbusters maybe it’s time to get back to the basics with a good old fashioned creature feature….

Terminator 5: Will ‘The Rock’ Be Terminating Arnold?!

Rumors are running wild about the plot of the green lit Terminator 5 and I’m kinda liking what I’m hearing. Recently Arnold stated he’d be back for Terminator 5 starring as a T-800 and most of the response (including my own) I heard from fans was that perhaps he was a little too old to be donning the shades again. But perhaps he’s really not starring as the legendary cyborg after all, but as it was originally thought as the man whose likeness was used fr the T-800. I always thought it was the perfect way to have him back into the franchise without getting too dang cheesy.

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Now the rumor is something even more different than anyone originally imagined as reported today at Ain’t it Cool. The word one the web currently is that Dwayne Johnson could be cast as the first Terminator ever / or maybe a cybernetically modified human assassin sent back this time to the 1940’s. Here’s what they heard from some uncertain sources:

“Incredibly, Schwarzenegger may not play the role of a machine in the next film, but a potentially heroic human figure in or close to the Connor family. One theory is that Schwarzenegger’s remarkable ability to protect the Connor family in the 1940s or 1950s with antiquated weaponry by today’s standards ultimately inspired the machines to develop a terminator in his likeness that was eventually sent to 1984 when Sarah Connor was first targeted for termination.”

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This contradicts Arnold’s recent comments about being “The Terminator” again. To me though i am kinda liking the sound of this storyline, it wouldn’t be a rehash of any of the previous films entirely. It would tell the story of the first time they tried the time travel thing (that you’d think they’d just give up after the first few flicks) but it wouldn’t rely on getting the whole old gang back together and most of all it might actually make the rest of the movies make more sense in the way it all may have chronologically went down?

As long as we don’t have Arnold making more cracks about “being old” anymore because that shit’s getting OLD and hopefully they bring back the spirit of the first film, more of a horror sci-fi story that keeps the plot smaller & more simple.  Though I like this rumor thus far, I call bullshit, I think Arnie is gonna try and play the old part again and if so I think it’s a lost cause….what do you think?

This Is The End: The Best Potty Humor Flick of All Time?

I saw “This Is The End” this weekend and I’m gonna have to say it’s the best Potty / Dick humor movie ever made. Yeah, This is the End delivers a mass amount of dick jokes and pee pee humor galore, so much that by the end of the movie you wonder perhaps if Rogen & Goldberg wrote the movie when they were thirteen year olds. I can’t deny that this film will entertain the pants off you and probably have you laughing out loud but I ‘ve gotta say this brand of humor can get a little grating in an otherwise fine, gory and action packed flick. Maybe I’m just getting old but seeing a huge dick on everything for me loses it’s comedic power pretty quickly.  It was different in a film like Superbad. That aside I’m happy to say the movie was a damn good time.

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Surprisingly this one actually does have a bit more to offer than a hundred dick & pee pee jokes. In fact this one does almost play out more like a Shaun of the Dead / horror comedy than I was expecting. It’s pretty much got it all, the usual (and in my opinion tired) stoner comedy, some cool monsters (with huge dicks of course), some gory special fx and a who’s who of “Apatowian” cast members to see meet their demise. One of the best moments being Michael Cera’s fate as the actor plays himself as quite possibly the most irritating human on the planet, snorting tons of coke, grabbing girls butts, getting blow jobs from random girls while continuously whining like a baby. One thing is for sure Cera hasn’t aged well. But it’s clear all involved were pumped to be poking fun at themselves. That’s where the movie does work as we get to see this ensemble get down and dirty. We get to see how a bunch of rich, privileged actors deal with an apocalypse or rapture in this case when they’re some of the last people on earth who for some reason haven’t been “saved”.

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These guys clearly had blast with this one and perhaps that’s why in the end the movie despite all the dick, cum and pee pee humor and an a full on overload of product placement worked despite it’s terrible ending sequence. However this leads me to believe that this rivalry of the apocalyptic comedies is going to be easily won by Edgar Wright’s “The World’s End”. Hopefully he steers clear of the excessive dick jokes becuz Hollywood ain’t got room for any more big cocks this summer on the silver screen!

He’s Back: Arnold Will Be The Terminator Again & I Smell Disaster….

It seems it’s confirmed Arnold will be appearing again soon as everyone’s favorite cyborg. It’s now been confirmed that he will be reprising the role as the killer/hero robot in the upcoming fifth film slated to begin filming in January. Sounds great on paper but I’m not so sure this one is gonna go over well onscreen. Arnold has aged significantly, even in Terminator 3 he was starting, in my opinion, to look a bit to aged to play the legendary role.

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I originally thought he might be playing the creator of the T-800 in the next installment, which would make perfect sense but somehow it seems Hollywood just couldn’t resist trying to get him back in his original role. So what are they going to do about his, um, well..ahem changed face and physique? CGI over him? Not Cool. Just play the role the way he is now as an aged Terminator? Not believable. Heavy make up? Unlikely. A beat up Terminator with a ton of battle scars? Best option.

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I can’t say I’m too excited about this announcement. I think there are roles that just don’t work for aging actors and this one here is a prime example. A Terminator is not supposed to age. We all saw how terrible Terminator Salvation was and how that CG Arnold stuck out like a sore thumb. So what do you think will be the solution to the old Arnold back in his classic role as a man machine that doesn’t age? Are you pumped for this next chapter?