Category: Movies
Deadbeat at Dawn: Bad Movie Bliss!
Sometimes I just leave my queue on Netflix run it’s course, I still have a Dvd account by the way, meaning that I have like two hundred movies in waiting. Often I forget to move stuff around and I get those weird wild card flicks gracing my dvd player. Sometimes when bored I’ll load up my queue with a bunch of weird shit I have never heard of. Often upon viewing these I end up much a much more elightened movie buff while other times the movies suck so bad I don’t last fifteen minutes. However this week I hit the jackpot! “Deadbeat at Dawn” is easily one the most memorable “bad” movies I’ve seen in quite some time.
Filmed in 86′ and released in ’88 Deadbeat at Dawn was written & directed by Jim Van Bebber who also stars as the films main Character, anti-hero “Goose”. Bebber also did all the special effects and performs all of his own stunts, one of which Van Beeber jumps off a city bridge! This guy pretty much did anything it took to make this film as action packed with such a small budget. Nunchucks, ninja stars, gang fights, drugs, booze this one has got it all. It will make you think twice before joining a street gang that’s for sure! Goose however decides it’s time to quit the gang so that him and his girlfriend can start a legit life together. However when his girl is brutally murdered by gang members with golf clubs, he hits rock bottom and wants nothing more than to avenge her death, and boy does he get the damn job done!!
It’s been quite a while since I have seen a movie with an ending that kicked so much ass. It’s jam packed with so much hyperactive action it’s hard to keep your breath. Seriously, the last 30 minutes, which Bebber apparently filmed first to try and generate interest in this film from the industry back in ’86, is some of the most ridiculously awesome cinema I’ve seen in years. That’s not to say the film isn’t a bit on the nasty side as there’s not really one likable character in it. Nope, pretty much everyone is a mean spirited prick even the lead character Goose. Even when Goose is trying to be “nice” he still comes across as a total fucktard. We really only see glimmers of a good guy toward the films finale, what can you expect from a self proclaimed “Deadbeat” huh? Well all that aside it’s pretty inspiring filmaking by a guy who wanted to make a film you wouldn’t forget, I know I won’t forget this one anytime soon…
Older Movies With Bad CGI! I Call for a Special Effects Do Over!
Ever watch a movie a great movie with terrible CG? Of course you have! I’m not sure about you but they really tend to bother me. Movies that are so good but the CG skills just weren’t up to par and just leave you with an empty feeling inside. There’s tons of movies that fit into this category and as I recently rewatched “The Frighteners”, one of Peter Jackson’s best films, I had an idea. What if Weta were to redo the CG effects in that film? What if they released it as say the ‘Ultimate Edition” or whatever lame new name they could come up with. Imagine how much better that movie would hold up today if the CG was tweaked?
I think a LOT of movies in the 1990’s and even in to the 2000’s sufferered from a case of “not quite ready” CG. Some of those movies were pretty damn good too. Let’s take a movie like “The Mist” which is one of my faves, however the CG in the movie is laughable and when it hit’s the screen I cringe every time. But what if they had a few people touch it up? Or redo it all together? Imagine The Mist with better effects. Would there be an outcry from fans? Would people say “how dare they” like when Lucas added all of his extra bullshit to the original Star Wars trilogy? Or do people hold their terrible CG effects sacred like us old Horror buffs do with the practical old school effects of the 70’s and 80’s? An interesting question I’d like to know the answer to I think.
Hell Lucas could even do over the CG in episodes 1-3! I wouldn’t even make a peep! In fact since he likes adding shit constantly to his old films I say we start a campaign to get him to ad respectable CG to all of those films! Honestly that CG was some of the worst shit I have ever seen. So what do all of you think? Do you stand by the terrible computer generated effects of the earlier years? Do you hold them sacred? Close to your heart? Or would you like to see maybe just how they should have could look today? I mean nothing would have to be re-shot they could simply erase the old. I could be onto something? Or perhaps just crazy…
The Expendables 3 Plot Ideas With Jackie Chan!
Hearing that Jackie Chan is going to joining third installment of The Expendables is great news for any action fan! He’s the perfect addition to the team assuming he’s a good guy and not a villain which I don’t think would be a wise casting idea. i also see this as a chance at maybe some better comedic moments. The second flick was pretty hit or miss in the comedy department, it tried awfully hard but Arnold was a bit stiff in his delivery although his presence was very well welcomed. I hope he returns for the third movie in an even bigger role and by that time maybe he’ll have his chops back to form. So adding Chan is a big deal and it makes me wonder who else will be entering the fold?
So the news of Chan joining is great but what about all these recent plot rumors? First we heard that the next movie was going to switch genres…we all assumed that didn’t mean it’d be a rom com co starring Julia Roberts. It’s been hinted at that the movie would be taking a more sci-fi theme which I think would be great. It’s even been rumored that Sly may finally use the “Hunter” book storyline that he has the rights to. Which would mean the team would be hunting down a gentically mutated mercenary gone on a sadistic killing spree. To me this would be the plot I’d like to see, done perhaps better than the 1982 Chuck Norris flick of similar plot “Silent Rage”!
It’s also been hinted at by Sly that new blood would be taking over as the third installment would see the old vets retiring and passing the torch to new younger guys who rely on tech like drones and computers to kick the bad guys asses. To me that sounds….lame. Finish the trilogy with a bang. Bring in Segal, Arnold, Mr. T, Ford, Bolo Yeung, The Rock or new guys like Iko Uwais or Tony Jaa. He also said a third possibility would be some females entering the fold. That sounds wonderful bring on Linda Hamilton, Michelle Rodriguez, Brigitte Nielson or yeah Grace Jones!! I have my hopes set high on a sci fi twist, it’d be perfect for the crew….what do you think would be the best for the final chapter?
Recent Horror Movie Gems!
I’m always on the lookout for a good horror flick! I have a hard time finding newer horror films that really deliver the goods and offer up a good scare or a good laugh. I recently I did see a few good ones and I’m gonna share a few recommendations for you so when the winter’s cold bites too hard you’ll have a few movies that you know aren’t total trash to keep your blood running hot!
The Pact (2012): I’ve gotta say this one surely delivered the scares a-plenty! This is one hell of a well done ghost story and is fully guaranteed to freak you out. This movie follows a young woman’s search for her missing sister who disappears shortly after the passing of their mother. She heads back to her hometown house where she grew up and becomes pursued by a malevolent spirit that resides in her childhood home. Sounds simple enough huh? Don’t bet on it this moviewill grab you all the way til the shocking finale-this one is a MUST for any true fan of pesky poltergeists!
It’s in the Blood (2012): Here we have another creepy new horror film featuring veteran Lance Henrikson. I doubt that means to much these days as Lance continues to star in one crappy horror flick after another these days. Well this one breaks the streak of shitty horror he’s been riding. It’s in the Blood is quite a nice little Monster movie as long as you aren’t expecting something like Pumpkinhead. No this one reunites a father with his estranged son as they embark on a hiking trip together where they face head on their haunting dark pasts that caused their separation. Once deep into the woods something begins stalking them and they desperately work together to survive the night. This one gets pretty intense and delves into some dark scenarios but it’s effective and creepy as hell.
[Rec]3:Genesis (2012) I have been waiting for quite some time now for this third installment to the incredibly tense REC series and this one continues the tradition albeit in a completely different way than the first two. The previous films were completely “found footage” But they were the few good ones of that tiring genre that just won’t seem to go away. Basically this one starts out like a found footage flick but shortly shifts in to a real movie. This one unlike the previous two follows a more ‘Evil Dead 2’ style and continues to deal with the demonic virus epidemic of the first two. It’s funny, gruesome & action packed. My only complaint was I was hoping for a little more out of the demonic people this time around and they ended up seeming more like traditional zombies than the hyper intense walk on the ceiling type infected we saw previously. Still though this one is a great one to watch with a bunch of friends and a bunch of drinks..
The Hobbit’s Animal Cruelty Allegations-What are the Facts?
This has got to be some of the most unsettling movie news I have heard in a long, long time. Allegations of major animal cruelty have been cast upon Peter Jackson and his crew while filming the first installment of the mega blockbuster ‘The Hobbit’ just over two weeks before the film’s set to debut here in the United States. This is terrible news as this movie has been one of my most anticipated if not most anticipated films for years.
Peter Jackson has been a favorite of mine since ‘Bad Taste’ and The Lord of the Rings trilogy being one of my top 3 favorite films ever. But The Hobbit is being blamed for twenty seven animal deaths some being horses goats and chickens. Here’s what I has been reported so far via Huffington Post:
“Animal wranglers involved in the making of “The Hobbit” movie trilogy say the production company is responsible for the deaths of up to 27 animals, largely because they were kept at a farm filled with bluffs, sinkholes and other “death traps.”
The American Humane Association however, which is overseeing animal welfare on the films, says no animals were harmed during the actual filming. But it also says the wranglers’ complaints highlight shortcomings in its oversight system, which monitors film sets but not the facilities where the animals are housed and trained.”
Jackson and the films producers reject these accusations saying that no animals were mistreated during the filming of the Hobbit. This however may be true but where the animals were housed at, a farm nearby, is where these animals died. Apparently the farm was wasn’t fenced properly and the bluff and sinkholes are where many of the animals died. There were also reports of chicken maulings by dogs and many instances were due too poor oversight of the animals. There have also been allegations that the animals feed was causing deaths as well.
Several stars of the film like Elijah Wood claim that this is merely a reaction from angry wranglers who were let go from the film trying sabotage the release. He claims he never witnessed any animals being harmed. However I really doubt Elijah was hanging out at the farm where they were kept too often.
It seems to me that this story has been kept thus far for the most part incredibly quiet, I only heard about it first last night and the story broke almost a week and a half ago. It could be the studio keeping it as hush hush as possible as to not deter people from seeing the movie. Or maybe I am just out of the loop. Personally this is a story I want to follow as it does affect my decision of supporting the movie. This films budget was over $500 million dollars, I can’t believe that Jackson and crew were unable to keep these animals safe, because at the end of the day at least 27 animals died due to being involved with this movie. Protests of the movie’s premiere are already being organized all over the world. What do you think? Could this affect whether you see The Hobbit?
Iron Man & Hulk: Heroes United….CG Film at it’s Worst?!
I just viewed the trailer for the upcoming Iron Man & Hulk: Heroes United animated Marvel movie and well I’m not impressed in the least. This is the kind of animation I just can’t stand. I am totally fine with CG animated movies, ones that actually look like someone spent some time on them. However this so far looks like a cheap video game opening sequence.
heroes united cg
I really can’t believe after Marvel released the A-Mazing “HULK Vs.” double feature cartoon that this is what we get next in animation from Marvel. This trailer also makes the film look incredibly boring and tacky. Come on Marvel you can do better! I mean you’re definitely not hurting for money-so it’s time to up the ante as DC seems like they are really stepping up the competition with their latest animated features!!
Nukie Nuked My Brain!
Saturday night I had the pleasure of watching NUKIE a little known shiny turd of a film from 1988! It was jam packed with crap! It followed the story of an annoying pair of aliens who crash land on earth, one in Africa and one in America. It’s supposed to be like some sort of hybrid of E.T. and Close Encounters except just really ultra suck-tas-tic in about every way imaginable!
This movie tries pretty hard to be cutesy and have a lot to say but in reality it’s just an excuse to use and animatronic alien head for two hours! Yeah that’s pretty much all this one has got ‘going’ for it and once the semi decent Nukie puppet alien face charm wears off you’ll be wondering how the hell this pile of dung ever got funded! This movie is full of weird stereotypes as well.
Nukie our main alien character runs around the African fields with his runny nose and befriends a pair of local tribal boys. There he does weird dances for them, asks random giraffes if he’s in America, irritates locals, transforms into blue glowing orbs and hijacks a helicopter with a monkey in a diaper. Yes this movie also features a weird ass super fucking annoying talking chimp who of course wears human clothes.
When he first appeared on screen and started mouthing off his incredibly irritating dialogue I had to restrain myself from getting off the couch and throwing my friend’s television out the damn second story window! From what my Nukie-fried brain can remember there wasn’t a single reason why this chimp could or should have the ability to speak english. Perhaps just being in the presence of Nukie gave him the superhuman ability to become one of the most annoying talking animals I have ever seen on screen. Later that night I had repeated dreams about washing that chimps mouth out with a bar of poison soap! Yep he makes the movie worthwhile alone!
That’s not all though, Nukie’s twin buddy Niko hangs out at this super boring NASA base, and every time they cut to the NASA scenes the movie suddenly sounds like the opening narration to an episiode of Dragnet! Yeah and boy do they love to show the same view of the NASA building over and over and over. There though Nukie’s buddy is experimented on by super lame scientists that hang out around a super computer that essentially does nothing but spit out useless information and weird ass dance music.
The rest of the movie is kind of a blur, but Nukie and Niko finally meet up and escape and guess what? They actually take the talking chimp along with them! I mean these two aliens have got to be suffering from severe nuclear brain damage to do a thing like that? If only we could get a sequel that followed these three idiots around for another 2 hours! Beware of this films it sucks bad and MUST be watched!!!
Is Mark Hamill Just Too Damn OLD for Star Wars Episode VII?!
Sorry folks I had computer problems for the whole last week and wasn’t able to effectively blog unless blogging from a smart phone sounds fun? Anyway I kinda missed reporting my thoughts on the whole Star Wars future trilogy / Disney fiasco. So first let me say I think it’s a great thing that we finally got Star Wars away from Lucas. Sorry George! I also think this will mean BETTER films for the franchise. The prequels can’t be erased from our minds sadly but maybe we can tarnish off the shit that has been coating Star Wars and get something truly amazing that the fans will lose their god damn minds over. I have a feeling that is exactly what we’ll get. In fact I think a great director will be chosen and like J.J. Abrams did for Star Trek this director will do similars wonders for Star Wars.
So today I want to address the fact that we are getting major speculation that Episode Seven will feature possibly Luke Skywalker, Leia and Han Solo. They won’t be casting new actors, they will be including Hamill, Fisher and Ford. I’ve already heard people bitching about this idea, calling them too old to carry a movie. Quite possibly this really could be the case. I however think that with a few younger cast members the movie could be rounded out perfectly and capture the nostalgia for longtime fans and younger fans alike. My real focus here though is on Luke Skywalker. I feel Episode Seven must feature Hamill as Luke, much like the way the last Star Trek movie featured Nimoy as Spock. However I’d like to see Luke as a major player in the movie rather than a cameo, maybe not first billed but a great supporting part played. So let’s cut the small talk and get to the point is he too old for the role?
That’s what I hear people saying, however one thing that has been a constant theme in Star Wars is one simple fact. A Jedi is dangerous, but and OLD Jedi is the most lethal and deadly of them all. Obi-Wan, Yoda, Vader, Dooku? Need I go on?
So this makes perfect sense to me to have Mark Hamill return as an older Jedi. I mean I almost wish Hamill was even older for the role. I imagine him training someone in the Jedi Ways and having to fight along side his student/students against whatever threat is chosen for the next film. I’d also agree that Hamill would have to take this role very seriously, I mean he better be running on the damn treadmill as I type this. All we need is him to get back into shape, he can look old as shit but he’s got to look like he can still kick some major butt with a lightsaber. I also think it could possibly end up being the most bad ass Skywalker role yet if done tastefully. I think it’s a must, it would tie the films together and make a lot of sense. Now Harrison Ford & Carrie Fisher? I’m not so certain about. What I do know is these movies cannot possibly be worse than the prequels, so whatever we get will seem like a god damn Academy Award winner next to the last few films. One thing to seriously consider is who else could return form the past for these movies? Bring ’em on Disney!
Not Gangnam Style, LOPAN Style!
So Gangnam Style seems to be all the rage, I mean the video on youtube has like 550 million views! But here’s something that maybe one of the coolest “Styles” yet-LOPAN STYLE!! Check this shit out!
He’s BACK: Arnold Returns to the Big Screen as King CONAN!
Word on the street today is that Arnold finally used some of his barbaric wisdom and decided to return to the screen as one of his best roles of well…all time. Deadline reports that he’s indeed reprising his role as Conan the Barbarian. I blogged here that it was the one role that would truly make sense for him at his age in his career. The first film ended with an older King Conan sitting on his throne in a pondering position remember? Well it seems that he’s going to put on the crown for another adventure! I am a big fan of the first two films…yeah I even like the second one-so what?! So to me this is exciting news!
Also I might add that just one night ago I finally decided to give the new reboot of Conan a watch. Yeah it totally blew, but honestly not quite quite as bad as I was expecting. It was however just plain bad and not quite painfully bad. Momoa was though was a pretty god awful Conan and I can see why it was panned so hard by critics. So it’s nice to know I can erase it from my mind! Now Arnold will really need to hit the Gym because we all know we can’t have a flabby ass Conan!
The movie will be called The Legend of Conan and this is what Deadline reported from the films producer: “The original ended with Arnold on the throne as a seasoned warrior, and this is the take of the film we will make,” Malmberg siad. “It’s that Nordic Viking mythic guy who has played the role of king, warrior, soldier and mercenary, and who has bedded more women than anyone, nearing the last cycle of his life. He knows he’ll be going to Valhalla, and wants to go out with a good battle.”
Universal Dork 