Category: Movies
Five Creature Features To Look Forward To In 2017!
Being a big fan of monster movies can be tough in this day and age where it’s not that often you see a real good one hit the theaters! Well my hopes are always high that I just might see a good one each and every year and in 2017 so far it seems the pickins are a bit slim at the moment, but heck I need me some monster movies this year! Anyway I did a little poking around and found a five upcoming movies that look somewhat promising if you’re a monster maniac like me!
BOAR:
It‘s looking here like we might have a contender in the big pig genre of monster movies. Of course at number one we have “Razorback” from 1984 which is a perfect creature feature in my opinion. Let’s give this new Australian flick a chance though the trailer looks pretty awesome!
BAD BLOOD: THE MOVIE:
Spider-Man and His New “Deadpool” Eyes…
We all finally got a look at the latest incarnation of Spider-Man in the new Civil War trailer. I think he looks like Spider-Man as he really has in all of the different movie versions over the year. I’m glad he officially joined the ranks of the Marvel cinematic universe and hopefully we can finally get some great movie adventures with everyone’s favorite webhead. Let’s face it, there was never really a problem with the character’s appearance in the last 5 movies rather some weak story telling perhaps and maybe some shitty versions of his classic villains. We don’t get much to go on today with this new Spider-Man but one thing that clearly stands out to me are his new CG “Deadpool” eyes. I’m not sure what to make of em’ but they’re clearly influenced by the recent R-rated wise crackin’ sensation…
Well I for one am pretty excited that we get a new Spider-Man to look forward to let’s hope this time they nail it..so far so good!
The Predator Returns But Should Arnold Schwarzenegger?
Word has hit the street that The Predator will be back in a new movie called…um..well….The Predator! Yep, Shane Black who starred in the the original creature feature is set to direct this sequel and hopefully give fans what they’ve been craving for years. We’ve gotten one mediocre sequel, those ridiculous AVP movies and then Predators which pitted a band of humans against the aliens on a hunting planet. You know to be honest I kinda dug all of those movies, even the stupid AVP flicks but I’ll also be the first to say none of them come close the the awesomeness that was the first movie! One of my favorite monster movies of all time and for the record the first R-rated movie I ever snuck into. Let’s face it, the original Predator is one of the coolest monster movies ever and one of the best of the 1980’s…
So now it’s 2016, there’s again a new movie on the horizon and we all have to ask one question before proceeding: Should we get Arnold back for the next flick?!! That seems to be the question up for debate. We have the whole camp that says “no fucking way, he’s an old man why would you even think it’d be cool to see him running his old ass around fighting a Predator?” and then you have people like me who say “of course you should get Arnold back as the legendary Dutch!” Yeah it’s not even a question, bring him back for the action. It makes sense that if there’s a problem again with those Aliens again here on earth you’re gonna get the guy who survived and killed one.
This does not mean that we need a repeat of Arnold going one on one against one of these creatures. We all know in hand to hand combat he could barely hold his own way back in 1987 so of course now he’d play perhaps a little different role. I think he’d be a perfect supporting character in a new flick, perhaps a new band of bad asses are heading out to take one down and they’re gonna need someone other than Danny Glover to help them take it out. I’m almost seeing a bit of an Expendables type thing happening here again too- get a rad team of older and younger action stars together. And well, that leaves you with Dutch, older, wiser and perhaps unwilling to help at first. It really all depends on the script but it’d be easy to write Arnie the perfect part as we all wonder whatever happened to his character anyway, at least I do!
Let’s all think for a second about it, what was the best part or one of the best parts of Star Wars: Force Awakens? Harrison Ford, hands down and in a way it was kind of his movie. Now think for a second Arnold being utilized in a new Predator flick in a similar way. Or like I had been hoping one of the original Ghostbusters starring in the rebooted new movie and training a team of new Ghostbusters to help him get the business back on the map. There’s no reason to reboot the Predator series and there’s no good reason why we shouldn’t give Arnold another chance with those ugly motherfuckers…
Video Tonfa Collected: The Good, The Bad & The Ugly of VHS!
I’m super excited to get this brand spankin’ new collected version of ‘Video Tonfa’ just released by Floating World Comics here in Portland Oregon. I’ve posted here before about indie comic artist, writer & publisher Tim Goodyear’s incredibly inventive & honest movie reviews which can be read regularly in Pork Magazine – But now movie maniacs can get a collected version of over 600 pages worth of them.
Goodyear not only reviews them in his own words but also recreated each movie’s classic and not so classic VHS covers. Any fan of cult, weirdo, horror, action and the like is bound to dig the creativity and time put into this project. Also reviewed are probably a truckload of flicks you’ve never heard of and that alone can lead you to some pretty excellent film finds if you’re willing to take the time to track em’ down for yourself!
Luckily Goodyear has put in the long hours to weed through it all for for you and give you his own take of what’s been overlooked in the vast sea of lost VHS treasures and turds. So yeah, if you’re like me and just can’t seem to get enough of the largely forgotten cinema of yesteryear then this is a book you’ll wanna reference quite often! Check it out here!
Rowdy Roddy Piper’s Mini H.P. Lovecraft Adventure!
I’m sure a ton of people out there have already seen this neat little trailer for the short film ‘Portal to Hell’ featuring the late great Roddy Piper but just in case you missed it check it out here. I really can’t wait to see the whole thing! This little trailer puts Rowdy front and center and gives him a role he should have had years ago like he did in movies like ‘They Live’ and ‘Hell Comes to Frogtown’.
The plan was for this short film to eventually lead to a feature length movie but it was never to be as Roddy sadly passed last year. Even though ‘Portal to Hell’ is only eleven minutes long I still can’t wait to see it. Piper has a few more full features scheduled to be released in supporting roles but this here looks as it really was set up to be a sort of tribute to Piper’s legacy. Putting Roddy into an almost ‘Evil Dead Ash’ type of role. It’s shown at festivals but hasn’t seen a proper release thus far. Check out the trailer and hopefully this short film will be available for us all to see soon!
Wrapping The Oscars Up With One Movie: Creed!!
I’m going to voice my opinion here quick on The Oscars this year, there’s been a lot of complaints and controversy about it this time because of it’s lack of racial diversity in it’s list of nominees. Here though at Universal Dork the awards are a simple process. I’ve seen a LOT of movies this year and there were some damn good ones, but when we think of the Oscars there’s certainly a “type” of movie that’s normally the winner. For instance I’d probably include ‘Krampus’ or ‘What We Do In Shadows’ on a list if I were in charge of shit. Well we all know that THOSE types of movies aren’t Oscar material so looking on to the big major heartfelt/drama flicks of 2015 one movie comes to mind that just feels right to me, without even having to consider race and really solves all the problems people are having this year with the Oscars. That movie is ‘Creed’.
Yep I honestly don’t think there’s any movie in 2015 that fits the bill of deserving best picture. This movie was the only flick that actually caused me to well up in tears more than once. Yeah and it’s a Rocky movie! I’d go on to say that this one is just as powerful as the first. It brings the movie full circle but isn’t a carbon copy of the original, it delivers quite an interesting story and continues the saga of the Rocky franchise in a truly realistic and heart wrenching/warming tale.
Heck, director Ryan Coogler should most definitely be up for best director too, seriously, they need to give this film a ton more love for everything he put into it. Writer, director, screen play, he made it happen and did a brilliant job. So I’m baffled Coogler & the movie weren’t even nominated. Both should be on the nominations list and it should win best picture. Period.
Next I think it’s main star Michael B. Jordan should undeniably be up for best actor this year. It’s a crime he didn’t make the list. He’s come a long long way as an actor and in the case of Creed he’s the perfect actor to play Apollo Creed’s son. He’s so convincing in the role I think any other actor may have made this movie feel like an inside joke. Jordan takes the franchise and runs with it in his own direction and gives us all a completely new breed of underdog to root for. So yeah everyone bitching about the “Oscars so white” should be demanding Jordan’s presence instead of whining about Ice Cube Jr. in the bland retelling of N.W.A.’s “real story” in ‘Straight Outta Compton’. Performances don’t come much better than Jordan’s. So yeah the Oscar’s fucked up big time.
Lastly if Stallone at least doesn’t take home the “Best Supporting Actor” award home with him for his portrayal of Rocky Balboa in Creed then we’ll have another crime on our hands! At least he got a nomination, the fact that he didn’t win best actor for Rocky back in 1977 is ridiculous. Hell, Sly should have won best actor for First Blood and his role of Balboa in 2006. Let’s face it ‘Rocky Balboa’ was a fantastic movie as well, but somehow Stallone topped his performance there in last year’s Creed. He goes well beyond the distance here giving his best performance perhaps of his career. Stallone brings the legacy of Rocky Balboa here to new heights and it’s clear his heart was in it 110%. Sly’s is an incredible actor, director and writer. It’s a shame he’s not given more real cred by so called film critics. Perhaps this year at least he’ll get what he deserves finally, an Oscar. You messed up big time this year Hollywood….
In ‘Green Room’ Oregon Punk Rock Gets Dangerous!
Did you see Blue Ruin? If not then you better check that shit out right away as it was one of the best indie thrillers of the last few years! Now we’ve finally got a full trailer for the upcoming ‘Green Room’ from ‘Blue Ruin’ director Jeremy Saulnier and boy does it look like a tense one. This flick is one I’ve been waiting for quite some time and one of my picks for 2016 movies I’m most excited about.
It follows an Washington punk rock band who play a show out in a rural Oregon roadhouse that turns deadly when a gang of white supremacist skin heads show up to spoil the party and then some. Better yet it stars Patrick Stewart as the gang’s leader / club owner and Anton “Chekov” Yelchin as one of the members of the band who’ve gotta fight their way through the night to survive. Due out April 15th, Check out this trailer, this one is sure to deliver quite a punch!
“The Boy” is a Creepy, Fun but Oddly Familiar Thriller….
Let’s face the facts folks, right now at the major theaters the pickins’ are damn slim for anything super tantalizing. So yesterday feeling the urge to go to the movies with a Fandango gift card I received for Christmas, I decided to take a chance on the latest in “freaky” doll flicks (which I always welcome with open arms) with “The Boy”. I gotta say the bar was set were pretty freaking low here and I was expecting the worse from a major Hollywood horror flick released in January. However to my delight The Boy was actually a pretty solid little thriller! For the most part…
That’s not to say it broke much in the way of new ground but still it was the perfect little matinee movie for a rainy day. This one isn’t going to give Chucky a run for his money and in all honesty it’s a completely different kind of freaky doll movie altogether. If you’re looking for a crazy killer doll flick then you’re in the wrong part of town with The Boy. Most of it’s charm really comes from the setting, which takes place in a huge old mansion in the English countryside. A woman named Greta travels there from the USA taking a nanny job watching over a life sized porcelain boy doll. Yeah at first her reaction is exactly what you might expect but the money is good enough so she agrees. Of course when “the boy’s” parents decide to go on vacation things quickly get really creepy.
Greta of course when left alone does what any of us might do in the situation, toss the freaky ass doll in it’s room, drink some damn wine and pass the hell out. However “the boy” clearly isn’t into being ignored and soon begins to seriously creep Greta the fuck out. Yep the doll pulls all kinds of weird pranks, soon she’s convinced the doll is indeed alive and is haunted by the spirit of the family’s real deceased child. So she suddenly decides to do her damn job and begin’s treating the doll like a real kid. Yon know like she agreed to in the first place! You’d think then the story might have a happy ending though right? Wrong! I forgot to mention that Greta is also on the run from her super douchebag, stalker ex boyfriend.
This makes matters worse and what happens soon leads to a few relatively unexpected twists and turns. Overall the movie was a cool little old school thriller with not a speck of bad CG anywhere. A solid ghost story and to only be spoiled for me by the fact (Now here’s a bit of a SPOILER) that I’d already seen an incredible indie movie from 2015 called “Housebound”. Yep “The Boy” borrows largely from that movie, which is a far superior movie. However if you’ve never seen Housebound “The Boy” will most certainly please anyone in search of a simple, creepy tale that’s perfect when there’s not much else on the tube.
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