Category: Horror Whore

The Holiday Conspiracy REVEALED: TWO FRONT TEETH (2006)

Right in time for the holidays, check out the dirt on this super underrated flick from 2006 that goes WAY over the top with some WILD Xmas conspiracies-TWO FRONT TEETH! This bizarro little yuletide gem is perfect for fans of SOV, no budget schlock and is quite ambitious in everything it tries to pull off in its mysteriously stupid story! I think it’s well on its way to becoming a bonafide weirdo holiday cult classic! Have you seen this wacky, heartfelt tale of terror before?

 

 

Tales From the Darkside of Christmas: Forgotten 80’s Holiday Horror!

The Holiday season is in full swing and of course I’m here to recommend you the very best horror viewing this year – three of the greatest Christmas horror shorts of ALL time just happen to be episodes of the cult 80s series – Tales From The Darkside! Don’t sleep on watching these three tales of yuletide terror this holiday season-these would be a perfect warm up for your holiday horror movie nites!!

 

 

 

WEREWOLVES (2024): My FAVORITE Horror Flick of the YEAR?!

Hey I’m back again with a brand spankin’ new review of the creature feature extravaganza ‘WEREWOLVES’ in theaters right now! Are you a fan of films like The Howling, Dog Soldiers, Full Eclipse or even Predator: 2?! If so I think you’re probably gonna dig ‘Werewolves’ just as much as I did! Practical werewolves brought to you by hands on fx mastermind Alec Gillis who worked on ‘Aliens’ (among so many others) and directed by Steven C. Miller who did a sweet flick called ;The Aggression Scale’ from 2012 I’m a BIG fan of too! check it out!

Thanksgiving themed B-Movie TERRORs: Watch These Forgotten Gems This Holiday!!

It’s THANKSGIVING and you most likely need some totally RAD forgotten B-movie gems to check out on the big TURKEY day and of course Black Friday, if you’re gonna avoid the crowds why not watch some cool weird-o tales of terror that ALL in valve the holiday. Well I’ve got some cool pics compiled right here in my latest U-Dork YouTube vid (Have YOU subscribed yet?!) check it out right here and let me know your favorites for the Thanksgiving season!!

HP Lovecraft Inspiration!! The New HELLBOY Film & the 90s NECRONOMICON!!

I’ve been in a bit HP Lovecraft land as of late, watching some pretty cool old and new stuff inspired by the iconic horror writer. As a HUGE fan of the Hellboy comic books as well as the Guillermo del Toro films, (which I do really love but never felt like a true representation go the source material) I was indeed totally skeptical of the latest film. Hellboy: The Crooked Man arrived on the scene and didn’t garner much attention, however I recently gave it a shot and surprisingly here’s my review in one of my latest YouTube vids:

 

Then I delved deep on Halloween into possibly the BEST horror anthology of the 1990s-NECRONOMICON which like the Hellboy stuff was more than inspired by Lovecraft but based on three of his stories and the result were quite impressive check that out right here:

Henry Rollins & His Action Hero Stint in WRONG TURN 2: DEAD END!

Ok so we all know Henry Rollins as the front man to one of the most popular punk rock bands of all time: BLACK FLAG. However in the 2000s he was kind of really “going for it” in some pretty cool indie horror films, today we take closer look at his seriously over the top 2007 horror/action hybrid flick: Wrong Turn 2: Dead End! This one shoulda kicked off his career as an action hero-check it OUT!!

Terminator 2: BIO-FLESH 90s Toy MAYHEM?!

Wow! Now here is a pretty radical little 1990s toy set that completely flew under my damn radar! Yes the 1991 Terminator 2 Bio-flesh Regenerator from Kenner is a real weird and wild one that I wish I would’ve known about way back when. Check out the awesome awesome commercial for this thing!

 Let’s all face the facts here as a kid and quite frankly as an adult the greatest thing about ‘The Terminator’ was what was beneath the living flesh (no offense to your “hot bod” Arnold). You can’t have one without the other though and what makes The Terminator’s metal cybernetic skeleton so impressive is the man whose muscle is on the outside.

With this play set you get the best of both worlds and let’s face it one of the coolest things about The Terminator is when parts of this flesh gets blown off so this thing was tailor made for someone like me!  This at least to me was back in a time when people were being truly inventive That really peaked “kid curiosity” at the highest levels kudos to Kenner for this one! They just DON’T make ’em like they used to folks!

 

 

HELLBOY is Back?! Does ‘The Crooked Man’ Trailer Deliver the GOODS?!

I totally forgot that there was yet ANOTHER Hellboy film in production, after the last installment of the Neil Marshall (The Descent/Dog Soldiers) ginormous letdown film from 2019-which was so bad I couldn’t even finish it. We now today get the brand new trailer for the Hellboy: The Crooked Man and it really sort of leaves me scratching my damn head. Who though it’d be a good idea to try this YET again? We’ve got the director of ‘Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance’ (2011), both ‘Crank’ films and the pretty fun Nicholas Cage film ‘Mom and Dad’ (2017). As much as I’m a fan of the Hellboy/BPRD Mignola-verse in the comic books this new trailer (based on one of his classic comic book stories) leaves me feeling really empty. We’ve got a yet another new actor in the role that sort of at this point looks and feels to me a bit like a bad cosplayer at Comic Con IMO here…

It feels really cheap to me and just maybe that’ll make this thing a bit better? A smaller more personal story? Still it looks at least, in this new trailer to have some pretty flimsy CGI on display like the last horrendous chapter unfortunately. Plus it feels honestly generic as fuck. I’m sure this will have to be an improvement to some degree over that last load of shit, but I’m really getting a “fan film” vibe here. I’m sort of a bit perplexed, but also still holding out hope for a more authentic comic adaptation version of one of my favorites from Mignola. Part of me wanted the 3rd installment of the Del Toro franchise, which is frankly a WAY different vibe from the classic comic. Still tho, I do love those two films and find them both highly enjoyable. “The Crooked Man” here has me feeling confused, wondering who exactly this is for at this point? Nothing about it looks interesting in this teaser. Does it have the feel at least of Mignola’s vision? HELL no, it looks like a flaming turd but I’m willing to go in with bells on and hope to be proven wrong- What do you think?

 

THE BOY’S NIGHT OUT: My 80s Wisconsin Teen Horror Flick on VHS & Youtube!!

So the time has finally come, I just officially released my 1989 teen horror film on VHS, a co-release with Black VVideo. This little 34 minute film was a huge part of my teenage years growing up in The Fox Valley, Wisconsin and I’ve had the film on a lone VHS for 35 years. So I finally edited the original footage, and even grabbed a camcorder last summer and filmed a some bonus footage to tie the narrative as tightly together as I could. So now it’s come full circle after all these years, it’s really a time capsule of teenage life in the midwest during the tail end of the 1980s. It tells the story of two “nerds” who are transformed into supernatural killers and exact revenge upon a gang of fellow bully classmates who’d finally pushed the bloody envelope way too far.

I’m pumped to add this to the catalogue of SOV horror films and the small gang of backyard teen films of the 1980s officially. So the VHS is out and can be found right HERE to purchase or you can check it out right now on the new U-Dork YouTube channel if you don’t have a working VCR.

Either way it’s a little accomplishment I’m quite proud to share with everyone after all these years-The Boy’s Night Out has arisen from the muck of the toxic pond waters of Wisconsin’s most wretched rock quarries and haunted forests! Check it out!!

Comic Cover of the Week: Totally 80s HEAVY Metal Marvel!

The NEW Defenders were a pretty awesome era of the team with a totally sweet line up and one of the team’s best member’s GARGOYLE! I say that here we have one of Marvel’s most METAL covers, 1984’s issue #136. We see a wild sort of thrash metal style satanic themed masterpiece featuring a pentagram glowing while Gargoyle’s brain fries! What a great simple but utterly breathtaking cover by Frank Cirocco that could have been easily used by a band like Slayer in the 80s!!