Category: childhood nostalgia
NES Nightmares!!
I was thinking this morning for some reason about fun it used to be when I was a kid in the 80’s and I’d spend a far too hot summer afternoon with my friends playing Nintendo in my brother’s room in the basement. Those were good times, eating chips, drinkin’ pop chilling in the cool basement and most of all playing video games. These definately weren’t the games of today with ultra realistic graphics and a controller with like fifty buttons on it. Nope, these were times when video games were actually fun to play!! Simple and to the point, well most of ’em at least. We’d play ’em all back then, Super Mario Bros, Castlevania, Rygar, Mega Man and one game in particular which drove us fucking bat shit crazy- Ghosts ‘n Goblins!!! Just seeing the packaging alone for this game here below brings back so many nostalgic memories of the 80’s and many extremely frustrating ones as well!
Yeah this was one of my favorite games of all time for some reason-me and my brother played the shit out of this game trying to beat it and to this day were never able to do so Continue reading
THE TECHNICOLOR NIGHTMARE PT.3-BODY TROOPERS
BODY TROOPERS, AKA: CHASING THE KIDNEYSTONE (Idsoe, 1996)
A decade after Joe Dante made INNER SPACE, a Norwegian woman made a movie about a boy and his grandpa’s kidney stone. What follows is a disturbing art film about bodily functions and fluids. Get ready for a swim! (WARNING: gross stuff ahead)
Simon lives with his grandpa, a widowed saxophonist, and they have a self-pitying stuffed bear that talks like a hot dog salesman. The night before grandpa’s jazz band reunion show (whom grandma sang for) he wakes up Simon with the kind of groaning that a football to the crotch or bad burrito will induce. Feeling helpless, the boy and the whiny bear bust out a chemistry set and shrink Simon to microbial size.
It all starts with grandpa’s mouth (specifically his giant lip and tongue). Simon steps over taste buds the size of basketballs, some of which talk. A lot. They even have telephones.
They are disturbed by the boy and want to know how he tastes. Bitter bud calls the Brain. Continue reading
1978: A Great Year For Marvel Model Kits!
As you may have noticed there has been a bit of a lull in the posting here as I am actually back in Wisconsin visiting with my family and getting ready to take a road trip back to Oregon this week. So if I don’t post for the majority of the week it’s because I am driving cross country! Anyway today I went out into the shed at my parents home here in the northwoods and checked out some of my old toys that I have stored here. There are some damn good ones! Old Transformers, tons of Super Powers figures, Secret Wars figures, Inhumanoids, actual Muppets puppets, G.I. Joes, lunch boxes, tons of He-Man and suprisingly quite a few toys that are for some reason missing!
Anyway I did find two things I was looking for in particular. Two Marvel models from 1978 made by a company called Fandimensions. Continue reading
Arnold Appears In The Expendables Trailer!
Ok so it really no mystery now that Arnold Schwarzenegger and Bruce Willis are appearing in The Expendables movie. It’s so much NOT a mystery that they both actually appear in the new trailer for the movie released today. I must say I have been excited for this movie now for a while since it’s been billed as an obvious throwback to the action movies of the 80’s. Think Cobra, Commando, Deathwish, Raw Deal and Die Hard. Back in a time where there was no CG, when there were real planes flying on the screen, real explosions and not a bunch of rubbery looking CG characters on the screen doing back flips and cartwheels as seen in the ultra lame G.I. Joe movie and countless other loads of steaming shit. This is an actual great accomplishment from Sly whether you love the guy or hate him, he seems to know what’s been missing in action movies today. C’mon did you see the last Rambo movie? It was raw and realistic (ok so maybe not that realistic) but you get the idea. Sure Sly looks like he’s had some plastic surgery, been dying his hair and been pumped up on weird ass growth hormones but still the guys is bringing back what has been missing from the modern action movie: unrealistic realism! check it for yourself right here and remember he brought back Dolph Lungren to the big screen and tried to court an unwilling Van Damme to appear in this flick-how cool is that? The Expendables is gonna bring it all back-old school style!
Ok well not too sure about the “Nickleback” sounding song in the trailer but hopefully this will live up to the hype…
The Technicolor Nightmare Pt. 2: SUPER XUXA VS. SATAN!!!
Anyone who braves through JIMMY, THE BOY WONDER (the subject of Technicolor Nightmare 1) can theoretically tolerate a little singing and dancing. But where JIMMY is creepy as hell, XUXA is cuter than a sugar turd on a neon birthday cake.
SUPER XUXA VS. SATAN (A. Penido, 1988)
(Or SUPER XUXA CONTRA O BAIXO ASTRAL)
Xuxa Meneghel is a bonafide Brazilian superstar whose fame derives from a series of strange family films in the eighties. Some of my male friends have characterized her as “hot”. This film is the copycat little sister to LABYRINTH.
Super Xuxa, blonde and billowing with butt cleavage in a mini jumper, slathers joy like hair mayo everywhere she goes. Continue reading
Technicolor Nightmares Pt. 1-JIMMY, THE BOY WONDER
Horror nerds often come with intact reproductive organs. Hence, sometimes they reproduce (albeit rare). I have personal experience. But becoming a parent doesn’t mean you must purge the filth from your video collections! Just as changing diapers are now daily routine, so must stealth nighttime viewings of those video nasties.
Yet, finding a happy medium between you, your child and your TV can be a challenge. That’s why there’s demented kids movies! The exaggerated costumes, candy colored sets, community-theater caliber acting and fantastical plots latent in these low budget bombs often congeal into scary, trippy cheeseballs of pain. You won’t soon forget the emptiness your soul will feel after watching them.
Many can be found on the underground label SOMETHING WEIRD VIDEO.
JIMMY, THE BOY WONDER (H.G. Lewis, 1966)
Herschell Gordon Lewis was an accomplished businessman, so the man who made BLOOD FEAST, 2000 MANIACS and GORE GORE GIRLS went where the money was and crossed genre lines to do so. Although his nudie cuties, teens-gone-wrong and (shutter) family films may seem like resume fodder compared to the squishy, extreme gore films he was famous for, he had a blanketing modus operandi; low initial budgets that yielded cult status and turned profits over long periods of time. He made only two family films and I’m sure Leonard Maltin would hate them. Yet, they endure with a strange charm that only Lewis could conjure.
SANTA MEETS THE MAGICAL LAND OF MOTHER GOOSE is nothing more than a filmed stage production with awful sound. If I remember correctly, the camera barely moves off the tripod.
JIMMY, THE BOY WONDER however, is laced with Lewis’ macabre sensibilities and full of hilarious jump edits, exaggerated acting, nightmarish visuals and horrifying songs.
R.I.P. Corey….
Wow. This morning I was totally shocked when I got up and heard the news that Corey Haim had died just a couple hours ago. It really shouldn’t be that shocking though since all of his drug related problems right? He seemed like one of the most troubled former child actors out there yet still it shocked me as I felt a small part of my childhood die as well.
Corey Haim may have not been taken too seriously over the last 20 years but there was a time when he starred in some of the coolest movies of the 80’s. Obviously The Lost Boys was a great movie that may go down in history as the BEST vampire movie ever made. But Corey also starred in many other awesome movies that still today bring back fond memories of the 80’s and deserve a second, third or fourth veiwing in his honor. Here are a few of my faves some of them seem relatively forgotten by alot of people….
Firstborn was one of Corey’s first movies Continue reading
Let’s Get Ready to Rumble…eh..kinda..The most Un-Epic Cartoon Brawls! Part 1
So I’ve put up some pretty epic cartoon fights lately, at least I think so! I’ve several more planned to post up here as well to get the adrenaline pumping too. But what about those totally un-epic cartoon battles??
Well look no further because now I’m on a mission to bring you some of the most god awful cartoon brawls I can find! Believe me there are alot of them! So first we’ll start with a pretty crap-tastic cartoon battle between Spider-man, Electro, the Green Goblin and The Vulture! This sounds like a dream battle huh? Well get ready to be severly unimpressed with this ridiculous 4 way snooze fest! Good thing Spidey mastered ventriloquism!
Hair Loss in the 80’s is Awesome!
I am not sure what made me thing of a few of these commercials from the 80’s but one thing I know is that they’re pretty damn amusing! Check this shit out for some of the ridiculous ways people tried to battle hair loss back then!
Hmm…I’m not so sure no one noticed his full head of hair come back!! Continue reading
Lets Get Ready To Rumble! Epic Cartoon Brawls: Part 2!!
Ok so here’s fight number two of the greatest cartoon brawls! This time it’s He-Man and Skeletor facing off from the ultra-legendary episode called “The Arena”. This time however, Skeletor puts up a pretty good fight since for some reason normally in the cartoon he gets his ass totally served to him in about two seconds by He-Man! I am excited about this since for my recent birthday I recieved He-Man: Season One on dvd.
He-man was all the rage for me when I was a kid (In fact the picture above was a table placemat which of course I ate my food on all the time as a kid!). I had all the bad guys and that’s quite alot if you know anything about the He-man toyline! I didn’t bother too much with the good guys though I did have Stratos, Buzz-Off and Ram-Man. I really just learned from the cartoon that all you really needed was He-man to kick the shit out the bad guys-so why waste mom’s hard earned cash right? It was too bad however, in the cartoon the bad guys though somehow just as muscular as He-Man, were always kinda a bunch of royal pussies! Well here’s Skeletor in rare form when for once he wasn’t being a total wuss!










