Tagged: practical effects

The Best of Netflix DVD: Reggie Banister Enters the CEMETERY GATES!!

Reggie Banister of “Phantasm fame” is one of my favorite horror heroes-hands down! The horror franchise is my all time favorite of the genre, Reggie is one of the main reasons why it resonates with me so hard. What I’ve noticed though is Reg really doesn’t take center stage in any other movies I can think of, it’s usually just brief cameos in things like ‘Bubba Ho-tep’ or even ‘Kenny & Company’. Well that’s what I was led to believe but low and behold through the Netflix “red envelope” dvd mailer program (that’s sadly coming to an end soon), I received a movie from queue that’d been sitting there for years!  The 2004 (or 2006?) horror flick CEMETERY GATES finally arrived in the mail, I really had quite low expectations and quickly noticed Reggie Banister was appearing, I figured he’d likely be doing another “horror cameo” in a low budget production. Well I couldn’t have been more wrong!

I was pleasantly surprised, Reggie is one of the main characters in this one & better yet even the movie is somehow a total gem-a gore soaked, practical fx creature feature with heart and a heroic dose of humor while also a somewhat intriguing story at play. Yeah I was expecting a steamin’ load of shit and what I got was one of my new favorites of the 2000’s horror movies. It’s filled with a cast of fun characters, many of which are total boneheads, which make this little gnarly flick even more of a blast. It’s the story of an escaped lab animal-a giant mutated Tasmanian devil named “Precious” who goes on a muderous rampage in the countryside when set loose by some numbskull animal rights activists.

The lab Precious came from is owned by……Reggie Banister, a seasoned scientist who’s sad about his son moving out on his own. His son an aspiring horror filmmaker is heading out to the country with his horny numb nut buddies to film a zombie film, little does he know his childhood now mutated “pet” Precious (who was experimented on) is running wild in the vicinity.

Precious though is not the only threat, there’s some horny braindead hillbillies, who look like the perfect lunch for a tasmanian devil, also raising hell. Reggie and his sexy scientist buddy soon discover the missing creature and set out to the countryside to try and track it down before it goes completely bonkers on the local population.

Cemetery Gates has got a lot going for it, Reggie pretty awesome in it and there’s a certain bit of idiotic charm to his relationship with his son AND his son’s relationship with the former lab pet turned mutant. It’s also a load of fun to see all these utterly moronic characters get ripped to shreds by Precious. We’ve got the idiotic hillbillies, some middle aged stoners, Richard Elfman as an insane fisherman, the bonehead amateur actors and a few random hikers that suffer the brunt of the gore. The fun is really had when we see Precious in the flesh on it’s killing spree. She tears limbs, decapitates and rips apart a ton of people all in gloriously gooey practical fx and real onscreen “blood” galore. The creature looks pretty damn good too in that sorta 1980s style monster mayhem.

It’s so absurdly charming looking in the flesh and when the final confrontation goes down with Precious it becomes a “family affair’. Reggie, his son, his girlfriend and Reggie’s hot lab partner go all in on taking down the mutated ‘taz in a dark subterranean lair beneath a cemetery. There’s some real heart here at it’s core that sincerely shines through all of the moronic antics that occur and I really appreciate the entire fiasco.

It to me, hits all the right beats, finally another film essentially featuring Reggie front and center to love. He’s here in all of his hair dyed glory to kick some monster booty once again & who’d have thought it’d be again in the mid 2000’s? There’s some good atmosphere and plenty of mischief for Reggie & co to get into as well. If this thing had been released in the 80s it’d be a bonafide cult classic. I’ve NEVER heard anyone speak a peep about Cemetery Gates, so I’m taking it to my platform to get the damn word out.

It’s the perfect midnight movie to rock with some starving cinemaniacs-they may doubt it’s merit by it’s cover but chances are it’ll quench any gorehounds thirst as well as tickle their funny bone. Cemetery Gates is true 2000’s cult classic in the wings…. 

The MOVIE MELT Podcast’s Wildly Erotic Appointment with DR. CALIGARI!

It’s quite an interesting appointment when you’re set to pay a visit to a brand new new doctor & this week on the MOVIE MELT podcast we got one helluva check up by checking out 1989’s wildly erotic horror flick DR. CALIGARI! A bizarre nightmare from the director of the legendary plot centric-porno ‘Cafe Flesh’, Stephen Sayadian comes this equally strange dive into complete madness!

Yes! ‘Doctor Caligari’ is most definitely a weird one, an erotically gross dreamlike voyage into an insane asylum led by the daughter of the legendary 1920’s mad practitioner! There’s some serious problems when people become human guinea pigs of sultry doc as she performs  experiments on patients with the most extreme shock therapies and hormone treatments. the results are quite shocking in this avante garde slice of madness. It’s filled to the brim with neon sets, strange creatures, human sized tongues, babes, hunks, scarecrow hand-jobs and lots of nonsensical plot points that will drive you absolutely NUTS!

Also on this episode is a “best of” battle of the bands, featuring the most idiotic musical numbers and artists to grace the damn internet-listen to the stupidest songs duke it out for the ultimate prize-MOVIE MELT’s seal of approval. Plus we discuss some cool movies we think you’ve just gotta see and so much MORE including a discussion on deepfake penises!

Grab a case of beer, get cozy and ready for the good times to roll as we plunge into the weird ass cinematic world of DR. CALIGARI on the latest episode of MOVIE MELT

1990’s B-Horror Classic ‘DEMON WIND’ Getting a Sequel?!

Yowza!! I’ve always thought some of the cool lesser known horror movies of the late 80s/early 90s should get modern sequels-I mean why not?! Especially with many of these lost classics now getting discovered by masses of new horror fans with awesome blu ray labels cleaning up often “only released on VHS” gems and repackaging them with lots of cool extras as well as a super sharp new restoration. Vinegar Syndrome did exactly that with 1990’s DEMON WIND and now it’s confirmed it’s going to get a brand new sequel 33 years later!! Ok though, before getting too excited here let’s see what the details are exactly on this one!

First, the official title is apparently going to be ‘DEMON WIND 2: The Serpents Coil’ and it’s NOT being made by the original’s director Charles Phillip Moore and from what I can tell he isn’t writing this one like he did the original. I think it’d have been cool to have the original writer craft the story plus I’m a fan of one of his other movies, ANGEL OF DESTRUCTION from 1994 featuring Maria Ford. Oh well….Instead part 2 will be directed by Eric Mathis from Grime House Films, who’s got only one feature film under his belt, a 2022 horror anthology called ‘The Macabre’, I’ve never seen it-so hey Eric if you’re reading this send me a copy for review! 😉 I guess I’d be basing how promising the ‘Demon Wind’ sequel will be on how well his first movie translates. Curious indeed. Here’s the trailer:

Hmmm…obviously ‘Demon Wind 2’ has too look a little more slick than this-but considering it’s a first effort, at least from the trailer, I’d say there’s still potential. Next I’m wondering if the sequel will have some of the 1990’s films original cast returning? I heard at least one of the cast members from the original might be on board, but to really add that legit inter-connective tissue it’s going to need some real ties to the first film.

Also I think, this modern sequel is going to need to have a similar look and steer away from shoddy CGI fx. I recommend going ALL in on practical effects-gory, gooey, slimey and bloody…oh and NO CGI blood-don’t make that mistake! It seems so far that he’s got a few peeps involved from ‘Full Moon’ and an FX artist Joe Castro who did work on ‘The Barn 2’. I’ve seen the first one and dug it-but I do need to check out the sequel, from the trailer though I’ll be honest the FX stuff doesn’t look quite on par with the first film-and that was a little ruff too.

 Still that doesn’t mean Demon Wind 2 won’t look awesome.. here’s what the director had to say himself about the sequel coming at us all 33 years later:

“I’ve dreamed of doing this for so long. Like many of us, I’ve been a huge fan of the original Demon Wind since I was a kid, when my older brother rented it and I secretly watched it after he left it out. For years, I’ve been trying to track down the rights owners, and I finally managed to arrange a phone meeting and work out a deal to produce this film!

My goal is to honor the tradition of the original, which had so many incredible and memorable creature and kill effects. We’re bringing the huge creature FX, loads of gory kills, and all the things we love as horror fans, and delivering them in a major way! We’ll explore the past, the characters, and their stories, and revisit the farm and Harcourt’s gas station, really play on all the things that made the original so great!”

I’m down for this film 100%, I definitely have my reservations though trying to recapture the B-movie magic of a for the most part, underrated gem from 1990. I like the idea of re-visiting the original’s locales but also hope they take it to a few new unique new creepy places. The last thing I’d want is essentially a modern remake/reboot that doesn’t live up to the original. I often times think someone attempting this type of sequel should really research what made the movies from this period look soooo good. Watching the trailer for ‘The Barn 2’ made me realize how cheap things can look when shot digitally, it looks just like it was shot in 2022, while trying to masquerade as an 80s film. Demon Wind 2 needs to have the look and atmosphere of the original even though I’m assuming it indeed takes place in current times. 1990’s Demon Wind was a lot of fun and the plot for part 2 sounds promising with occult researchers investigating a satanic murder site and stumbling upon an evil cursed ancient artifact that opens a gate from hell. Of course unleashing sinister creatures for another total bloodbath.

Fingers crossed that ‘Demon Wind 2’ delivers the gory goods, brings back some original characters and looks and feels a lot like the 1990 original. I don’t know if the original writer/director is still around or alive-but I think meeting or consulting with him would be a great idea too! I’m cautiously curious about modern sequels to lesser know horror classic-but I’ll be there for the show for SURE! Follow Grime House Films on Instagram for more juicy details!

 

MOVIE MELT Podcast: 1988’s Bonkers Hong Kong Monster FX Genre Bender-PEACOCK KING!!

The Peacock King is easily one of the most ambitious hybrid Hong Kong films of the 1980s. It’s part horror, part adventure, part fantasy, part martial arts with just the right amount of comedic timing and 80s pop charm from the director of Riki-Oh: The Story of Ricky. Yes the Movie Melt podcast goes back to Hong Kong to give you as much information about this wild flick that we could humanly dig up! As well as so much more cinematic mayhem than your human brain can possibly comprehend! Episode #170 is a banger and I’m personally there to guide you  through the bizarre world of the Peacock King!

If you’re a fan of American genre bending films like Ghostbusters, Big Trouble in Little China or The Golden Child and have never seen Peacock King then you’re in for a real treat. This flick has all the right moves-80s fashion and adventure amped up to eleven. It’s just waiting for some cool boutique blu ray label to be snatched up and unleashed upon the western audiences.

Director Lam Ngai Kai is a mysterious figure in Hong Kong cinema but he’s also made a string of largely forgotten totally insane films unlike anything you’ve likely EVER seen before. Most people only know him from his ultra violent 1991 masterpiece ‘Riki-Oh: The Story of Ricky’. However most of his lesser know films are just as entertaining and over the top.

In my opinion he’s the best director of 80’s/ early 1990s Hong Kong cinema-like putting early era Spielberg, Sam Raimi and Peter Jackson into a blender. Total spectacle that pulls out every special effect in the 80s playbook and packs it into a lean mean location hopping adventure to stop portals from Hell from flooding open onto the Earth!

Check out the episode as we cover lots of must see films as well as do our best to breakdown this one of a kind director’s best films that’s likely to be a cult classic soon in the USA once the word gets out. LISTEN TO THE MOVIE MELT EPISODE RIGHT HERE!

Also check out this trailer and see a glimpse of Peacock King in all of it’s colorful glory:

‘CYST’ Brings Back Old School 80’s Gross Out Monster Mayhem!

Where have all the gross out out slimy monster movies disappeared to? Well if you’re in the mood for gallons of ooze, slime and pus you’ve come to the the right place with CYST. A 2020 monster movie that’s largely flown under the radar and brings back all the old style practical fx you might be been missing in 2023.

Set back in the 1960’s at a doctor’s office that specializes in cyst removals, we get the story of an insane practitioner who’s experimenting with a new lazer on patients and their bulging boils. The doctor played by Troll 2’s George Hardy, is really more like a mad scientist who takes pleasure in popping a plethora of enormous pus filled pimples, most of which explode directly onto our main character/heroine Patricia, a nurse who’s had it with the doctor and all of the slimy ooze she’s got to deal with on the daily. She’s put in her notice and it’s her last day on the job. The Doc, flustered about her sudden resignation, takes pleasure in all the pus way too much and he’s hell bent on using this new laser technique on a special patient with a large, ready to burst, boil on his back.

This however triggers the cyst to quickly develop a mind of it’s own-it separates from it’s host and shows it’s true nature-a rapidly growing one eyed monster. This disgusting beastie goes on a rampage and the patients, doctors, nurses and employees are inadvertently trapped inside the building. This begins a fight to the death with the tentacled monster, that looks like a more disgusting creature you might see in a nightmare version of H.R. Puffnstuff or Sigmund the Seamonster. 

Cyst is a neat little modern retro creature feature that tries it’s damndest to gross you out with all of the over the top pimple popping pus and blood. However, as gross as that all sounds it’s never very beleivable as all the ooze looks far too cartoonish to ever be taken very seriously. It’s instead plays out like a more disgusting version of Nickelodeon’s ‘You Can’t Do That On Television’. I think with Cyst’s super short run time (69 minutes), it’s black comedy and “try to gross you out” old school monster fx it’d be best described as almost like an excellent lost ‘Tales from the Crypt’ episode. If they ever revive the series they should look to Cyst for inspiration, it’d make for a modern “Crypt” crowd pleaser.

There’s a bit of black humor here too but it’s refreshing that for the most part it’s all played pretty straight. This could have easily devolved into another stupid modern tongue in cheek ‘Troll 2’ style attempt at a “bad” movie. Instead we get a lean old school monster movie with some charming characters and ambitious 80’s style creature and gore fx work here to really amp things up. Cyst is certainly not the greatest modern monster movie but it’s helluva fun ride-best to be absorbed with a gang of horror freaks and some stiff drinks. A pretty damn solid modern midnight movie! 

New Vintage 35mm Practical FX Horror Fantasy: Moon Garden!

I’ve been thinking lately while watching lots of movies from the 1980s about how much I really miss the feel of movies using practical effects, shot on real film, at real locations & on real sets. Let’s face it, even if you just love, say, Marvel movies, you’ve got to be able to admit that they can feel a bit soulless, jam packed with an overabundance of CGI, green screening & basically are void of any real life stunt work. I mean they even CG costumes on people. I’ve been thinking about how interesting it’d be if modern filmmakers would set out to make a fantastical film either in the horror, sci-fi, superhero genre and choose to not use ANY technology past 1990. A real bonafide, old school, hands on MOVIE. 

Well I’ve probably gotten my wish, or at least something very close to it. The upcoming horror fantasy ‘Moon Garden’ appears to be going for the gold here, first being shot on expired 35mm film, which apparently can create some interesting and unexpected results. A bold move I think, secondly utilizing practical effects like puppetry, animatronics and stop motion animation. The trailer looks pretty incredible!

The premise is simple, a little girl has quite a troubling family life. One evening we find her running away from her arguing parents, she trips, falls down hard and as a result descends into a deep, dark coma. She awakens in a strange new place, more akin to a waking nightmare. She begins a journey through a sinister world where bizarre creatures are lurking around every corner.

The little girl goes on an adventure to carefully make her way back to consciousness armed only with a radio. This brought to mind an underrated Australian film from 1988 called ‘Paperhouse’, ‘The City of Lost Children’ and obviously the more popular ‘Pan’s Labyrinth’. All have a surreal, dreamlike quality to them and Moon Garden at first look appears to be in the same realm. This looks like something special and it’s Coming sometime this year- Check this out!

Wild 80s Valentine’s Day Movie Picks: Scott VALENTINE in MY DEMON LOVER!

Ok Valentine’s Day is on the horizon! What are YOU and your sweetie going to watch?! Well I’ve got the cure for all you lovers out there- if you’re looking for a cool little horror rom com that’s flown way under the radar for FAR too long that’s perfect for the occasion look no further! Scott Valentine (the perfect name for this huh?) of ‘Family Ties’ fame (where he appeared as Mallory’s boyfriend ‘Nick’) co-stars in ‘My Demon Lover’ from 1987. A perfect one of a kind romantic horror comedy ripe for Valentine’s Day viewing!

This odd little flick is a real gem, with the hunky Valentine as a troubled homeless street musician named ‘Kaz’ & co-star Michele Little as the cute as a button ‘Denny’.  When she meets him one day Denny seems to think she might’ve finally found a normal decent man with no skeletons in his closet. Oh boy, is she in for a surprise! whenever Kaz get’s aroused, which is quite often, he turns into a ferocious demon monster. However there’s much more to the story, Kaz has been cursed since he was a kid but things get worse when after his arrival into Denny’s life woman begin to  turn up dead all around the city. It appears like “Demon Kaz” may have been up to some demonic slaughter and now has his sights set directly set on Denny! Sometimes love just ain’t enuff and soon She finds herself in the middle of a bizarre love triangle-with Kaz and his horrifying demonic alter ego!

This sweet little horror comedy is jam packed with 80’s charm and so much more. There’s some really well done practical monster fx on display here for the horror lovers and to make the demon extra special, they hired iconic monster comic book artist extraordinaire Bernie Wrightson to do creature designs for Valentine’s unique looks in the film. He’s one helluva cool looking demon and it’s no wonder that Wrightson played a hand in it’s creation. Bernie also did storyboarding and to me that makes this little weirdo rom com extra special. Plus Valentine’s demonic transformation sequences pretty excellent too and the movie doesn’t skimp on pleasing horror hounds featuring some fairly intense sequences of terror for a PG-13 rated film. It really feels almost like a lost ‘Tales from the Crypt’ movie with just the right amount humor and tongue in cheek charm. There’s also a surprising amount of cool 80s vfx work here in general and it’s finale really ramps things up with an impressive showdown in a spooky inner city castle sporting neon 80s electricity and lightning a’ plenty.

I’ve gotta clarify though, it’s not all horror here. Nope! There’s a heroic dose of cheezy 80s romance complete with a sweet date montage and even a few steamy “sexy” moments as well for all the lovers out there. A big flop at the box office, likely because of it’s bizarre premise, doesn’t mean that it hasn’t aged quite nicely for modern audiences. Though some of it’s plot might make a modern movie normies squirm in their seats, if you’re willing to stick with the characters despite all of their faults you’re likely find the perfectly bizarre date flick. My Demon Lover has some cool plot twists as well and an intriguing mystery running parallel to the romance making it stand out above most 80’s rom coms and horror films.

There’s not just cornball comedy here but instead some real genuine stakes at hand for our cast of likable characters that make My Demon Lover a special treat for Valentine’s Day. I’d say it’s most definitely in desperate need of a bigger cult following today and needs a fancy blu ray upgrade in a serious way. For the moment grab it on dvd, or if you even wanna go more old school get the VHS or rent it online to stream for only $2.99! If you’re in the mood for truly strange but charming romance you really can’t go wrong with My Demon Lover!

 

 

 

The MOVIE MELT Podcast Gets Educated at GHOUL SCHOOL?!

It’s finally time to go BACK to school, but not with Rodney Dangerfield, with the MOVIE MELT Podcast. You bet! I went back on to discuss the low budget 1990 horror comedy GHOUL SCHOOL! This nearly forgotten movie fetches a pretty penny on eBay for a VHS copy and is known by cult movie fanatics as a boner-fide classic. So does Ghoul School desperately need a fancy-ass blu ray release? Or should it stay forever encased in a moldy VHS tape?!

That being said how fun is it really to go back to Ghoul School? Is it as sexy as the cover might suggest? Or is it far more terrifying than you might suspect? You can really learn a lot from this one I tell ya!

Perhaps when you attend Ghoul School you actually end more stupid when you finally graduate? Here’s sweet teaser you’ve got to check out, a fundraiser for the movie from way back when that we discuss on THIS episode! Could the teaser be more satisfying than the real thing? Hmmmm….

 

Well we’ve got the scoop and all the useless details about this weird little punk rock low brow horror oddity as well as a school related battle of the bands and lots of senseless movie talk about what you might be wanting to watch if you’re a cinematic super freak! Check out the latest episode HERE!

KIDS vs. ALIENS: If “Goosebumps” was Rated R!

I’ve been looking forward to Jason Eisener’s ‘Kid’s vs. Aliens’ since I heard the ‘Hobo With a Shotgun’ director was making a feature length film based on his awesome short horror segment in V/H/S/ 2. Granted it’s been a long time since I’ve seen it, I remember really digging the concept and execution of it.

The simple premise of this movie is so right up my alley it feels like it almost was tailor made just for me. In a nutshell some kids have a Halloween party that goes off the rails when evil aliens descend upon their lakeside household. The alien visitors for the most part resemble our traditional “Greys”, which I find to be one of the most terrifying creatures of the more modern era. I guess though they’d be more in line with what we saw in 2014’s ‘Extraterrestrial’ though (minus the CGI) than say the brilliantly bizarre 1989 Whitley Strieber biopic ‘Communion’. That being said, you’ve gotta admire how ambitious this movie is with all of its practical effects work and not a shred of CGI really anywhere to be found. Add in a lean run time of around 75 minutes (68 of them actual movie time) and you’ve got a nice, fast paced horror adventure at the ready. 

Plus the main kid protagonists of this movie are also quite charming for the most part. None of them get bogged down in modern online politics or social commentary, they’re just kids in danger with wildly filthy mouths being….kids. In essence they’re a fairly solid attempt of mixing the kids in Stand By Me with The Goonies. I’d say for the first 3rd of the movie I was pretty sure this might end up being one of my favorite horror films of 2023. It’s got a lot of heart at its core as well (maybe trying a bit too hard at times) and characters who you can for the most part get behind on this weird little ride.

However with ALL of that going for it, still there’s something here that in my opinion just didn’t quite click the way it should’ve. That’s not to say this isn’t a fun little movie, becuz it is. It just misses the mark at being a modern horror classic, maybe because they’re trying just a bit too hard at mostly everything they attempt to sell the audience. It’s same problems I had at times with 2013’s ‘Knights of Badassdom’ a movie which I do admittedly still enjoy quite a bit.

I guess I would say what it does succeed at being is a pretty excellent R-rated “Goosebumps” movie. In many ways, even the way it’s filmed looks a little bit like a vintage Goosebumps episode for better or for worse at times. I guess my problem was maybe my personal expectations weren’t quite met in the way I’d initially hoped for. Though this movie in many ways borrows heavily from the likes of classics like Fire In The Sky, it really lacks the intensity, atmosphere and mystery that could have pulled from it, even if just a little bit of it. The aliens In my opinion are shown way too much in plain sight. All of the things that make grey aliens so terrifying is completely absent here, they run around roaring like enraged grizzly bears. 

The aliens also look a bit too much like men in rubber suits, which I usually don’t mind, but easily hiding them a bit more might have benefited this greatly. More of the monsters isn’t always better. Overall though I do appreciate the almost entirely practical nature of this film’s special effects. It’s refreshing to see filmmakers getting a bit more old school these days!

Though the characters for the most part are fun wonky children, they do try a bit too hard to sell us that on all levels. Much of the character development feels a bit forced. The kids and their antagonist teen enemies end up being somewhat over the top caricatures and don’t always feel like “real’ people. The kids are NERDS, the older teen sister-hero is a NERD and the teens are really reeeeally meanies who don’t like NERDS. By the middle of the movie I found myself wishing their personas had been toned down. They started to feel like they were written by the “modern day Kevin Smith” or something. Ok, well maybe not that bad. Instead of growing to like them more as the movie progressed, I found myself becoming slightly annoyed with everyone’s behaviors and actions even if they were good in nature. 

Looking at it now though with zero expectations, it’s still one I do plan on revisiting again. It’s got plenty of action and really does try to feature a cast of heartwarming lead characters and pathetically almost unbelievably evil teen villains to you are basically told to hate anytime they appear. It also takes place on Halloween and makes it prime viewing for the holiday. There’s a lot of good here so don’t get me wrong, I just feel like someone needs to put together an amazing home invasion Grey alien horror film and do it the right way. In the perfect world I was hoping this would be a mix of 1989’s Communion and maybe like Evil Dead. (here’s a still photo  from Communion).

Instead it leans hard into the campy territory and doesn’t skimp on some impressive Gore FX either. Perhaps it’s really my own expectations that took this down a few pegs for myself, with all the crappy stuff out there streaming I do think there’s a lot of fun to be had. Check this one out, it’s worth a rental, but don’t go in expecting it to be quite as cool as his segment was in V/H/S 2. Still thank you Jason for adding an entertaining alien invasion flick to the cinematic horror library!

 

 

 

Bizarre Holiday Viewing from New Zealand: 1981’s The MONSTER’S CHRISTMAS!

OK Are you reeeeeally looking for something to watch that’s truly off the beaten path to this holiday season?! Look no further, the 1981 lost classic ‘The Monster’s Christmas’ all the way from New Zealand will stuff your stocking with some truly bizarre yuletide treats!

 This is a genuine bonafide oddball all the way from New Zealand that sort of feels like a fucked up version of HR Pufnstuf. The monster’s Christmas features some pretty genuinely impressive fully disturbing creatures for a kid’s Christmas special. I mean take a look at this guy hes one of the most frightening things I’ve seen probably in the last decade! 

 That’s “Mr. Nasty” the creepiest henchman of an “evil” witch who is obsessed with exercising, who lives inside of a mountain deep within a beautiful natural cavern. But I guess I’m jumping ahead little too quickly here. Our story starts out on Christmas Eve with the cutest little New Zealander you’ve ever seen, who just happens to be reading a book called ‘The Monster’s Christmas’ to her Teddy bear before bed. If this is a real book, I need to find a copy ASAP!

However it doesn’t take long before she’s awoken by a noise in her living room and instead of finding Santa there’s a giant green cyclops monster with a smokestack on the top of his noggin and some sort of creepy floral oozin’ eye. She agrees to help him out with the evil wicked witch who threatens the monsters world. The little girl quickly decides to go on a bizarre little adventure that ends up being almost like a travel video to some spectacular New Zealand locales that masquerade quite nicely for the monsters world. Only one thing, she’s got to get home by Christmas day!

 This is probably one of my favorite new discoveries especially for Christmas viewing in 2022. Filled with some beautiful locations, a wondrerful main character and even a few charming little songs thrown in for good measure. But let’s be honest here it’s mostly about the freaky ass monsters presented on screen! They’re all pretty awesome and it’s a crime this little holiday special doesn’t have a HUGE cult following. I think it’s ripe for a fancy ass blu ray release – Vinegar Syndrome are you game or WHAT?

Ok so as I mentioned before Mr. Nasty is one creepy character, he’s some sort of strange hybrid of a human, a mole and a bat. He is a truly terrifying creation but he’s completely loyal to the wicked witch, who by the way has her own complete personal gym inside of her cave! And believe me she gets some great use out of it!

She’s quite charming as she spends most of her free time trying to get fit and is dressed to the nines in regal 1980s aerobic garb! Pretty much everything about this little 45 minute feature is utterly bizarre and hits all of the right beats to make something truly obscure that is an absolute must add to your Christmas viewing! I’d say this one’s perfect for the kids although Mr. Nasty, be warned is quite the embodiment of a living breathing nightmare. He sorta steals the show..

If you’re a fan of obscure bizarre yuletide viewing I highly recommend tracking The Monster’s Chtistmas down and watching it this year. I just found a full version of it is available now on YouTube or you can add it to your collection by getting the dvd which I highly recommend. If anyone has an extra copy of the VHS please send me one!  Oh yeah, thank you New Zealand!