Tagged: Horror

WTF?! Did M. Night Shyamalan Just Make the Best Horror Flick of 2015?!

Well, well, well, I must admit I didn’t see this coming! Yeah I’m a bit perplexed myself at just how much I liked M. Night Shyamalan’s new movie “The Visit”!! I am going to go as far to say it’s quite possibly the best horror movie I’ve seen thus far in 2015. Some major contenders were “It Follows”, “The Babadook” and “We Are Still Here” but I’d certainly put The Visit up against any of those. I alway knew Night had it in him somewhere to make a full on horror movie and this time around he certainly went the distance. This is easily the darkest of any film he’s ever done and it proves that he shines on a smaller stage, with a smaller budget. Night should stay far as far away from the summer blockbuster territory as he possibly can. I also think he’s invented a new style of horror flick “Senior Citizen Terror”!!

The Visit is not only a return to form, but it’s also a transformation for the film maker. It show’s in a way that he’s grown up a bit and has become a bit more of a risk taker. He’s willing to scare the shit out of you this time around, pulling no punches like he did previously. I’ve always suspected if he let loose he’d be able to craft something really genuinely scary. You know how most of his movies reach the final act and they get kinda….family friendly? Well this one goes to some dark places and then some. In fact there are some scenes in this movie that you will NEVER be able to erase from your memory. A bold statement for any horror flick but it seems M. Knight was done fucking around this time. The guy has had a quite a string of clunkers under his belt recently and it goes to prove a point, never underestimate a guy who’s down on his luck with nothing really left to lose.

The Visit really shines in it’s simple plot. Two kids go to visit their grandparents which they’ve never met because of a falling out that their mother had with them when she was much younger. So really it’s a bit of a story of trying to forgive and forget the past and hopefully move on. And really, we all can relate to being a little kid staying with grandparents, no matter how sweet they were they always seem a bit odd especially through the eyes of a child. Of course the plot thickens when Granny and Gramps do start acting a bit odd during the daytime really fucking weird when the sun goes down!

This movie has got some great acting as well and the movie’s real stars are definitely the young boy played by Ed Oxenbould and his grandmother played by Deanna Dunagan. The Visit surprisingly also is one of the few modern horror flicks that really puts children in serious fucking danger, which is something you rarely see in this day and age. So kudos to Shyamalan for having the guts to go the distance here. It’s really best if you know as little as possible about this one as it’s packed with surprises and yes….a damn good twist!

Last my only real complaint at all is the found footage route Night decided to go with this. I’ll admit I wasn’t thrilled about the idea going into it all. Seeming at first a little late to the party perhaps, he really does utilize this medium quite well to tell the story. He does it so well with no creepy score that this feels pretty damn realistic when all is said and done. He also blends some great comedy throughout somehow that works leap and bounds better than any movie he’s tried to pull this in before. So final thought, I’d say it’s safe to say M. Night Shyamalan is back. Scarier, bolder and riskier than ever before and I hope this time he’s realized he’s at his best when trying to scare the shit out of us.

This Christmas Will Be a Full On Battle of the Krampuses!!

Finally we’ve gotten the official trailer for Michael Dougherty’s upcoming Christmas horror flick simple titled “Krampus” and it looks amazing!!! I’m so stoked for this film this Christmas I’d put it directly behind ‘Star Wars: The Force Awakens’ as the movie I’ve been most excited for in 2015. Dougherty’s the guy responsible for the incredible 2007 Halloween themed movie ‘Trick R Treat’. If you’ve seen that then you know he’s got the skills to give us an incredible holiday horror movie!

Yep I’ve waited it seems my whole life for a proper Krampus horror movie, let’s face it, it’s completely absurd that it’s somehow taken this long to get one. If you’ve yet to see this trailer check it out right now:

But wait! Dougherty’s ‘Krampus’ flick has an opponent this year in the form another movie which features Krampus as one of it’s main antagonists, ‘A Christmas Horror Story’ is also slated for release this year! Not only does this movie feature Krampus, but also features William Shatner and a horde of evil zombie elves who attack Santa Claus! This one also seems to feature, by a split second in the trailer a battle between Santa and muthfukin’ Krampus!! Ahhhh!

This year we’ve got some good ones to look forward to that’s for sure. So I’m a bit torn thus far on which one will be the “definitive” Krampus flick. My gut tells me Dougherty’s is going to be the clear victor as I’m digging the look so far of Krampus in his movie as huge hulking frightening monster while in ‘A Christmas Horror Story’ he looks totally fierce but more of a man beast bodybuilder dude. I’ve also heard Kevin Smith had a Krampus movie in the works (but maybe he decided to jump ship as the competition got fierce) and also that Jim Henson studios were developing one called “Happy Krampus”. My guess is we won’t be seeing these until next year. So what do you think? Which of the two Krampus movies do YOU think will emerge victorious in this year’s battle of the Krampuses?!!

Pulse Pounders: Lost Sequels To Charles Band’s Classic Horror Flicks!

I know there’s a select group of people who probably actually care about the films of Charles Band, but to me he’s a legendary dude in the scheme of cheezy horror flicks of the 80’s! So I’m thrilled myself, just to find out about this lost movie called “Pulse Pounders” which was filmed way back in 1987 and has never really seen the light of day! This flick is an anthology, consisting of three tales of “terror” one being an adaptation of H.P. Lovecraft’s The Evil Clergyman starring Jeffrey Combs, the next being a sequel to the movie “Trancers” and the last being a sequel to one of my favorite ridiculously awesome movies of the 80’s The Dungeonmaster which stars Richard Moll & W.A.S.P…….yeah the metal band!

Now the first two segments were actually already released, the Lovecraft tale was released on dvd in 2012 (I have not seen it yet) and the Trancers one was released in 2013. However the segment I’m most excited for has yet to see the light of day, perhaps saving the best for last?

Anyway if you have not seen The Dungeonmaster I highly recommend hunting that down and watching it with plenty of booze and a good group of friends. It’s the perfect party flick. Don’t believe me check this out:

So the movie is planned to be released in it’s entirety on the Full Moon Streaming site, as far as I know it hasn’t been featured there yet but this news which may be old news to some of you has got me quite excited! It’s a rare treat when you find out that a movie that’s been shelved for over two decades gets a real release. In this case a movie I never even knew existed. Supposedly the company set to release the movie folded back in the late 80’s. So hopefully this will be worth the wait! 

Who Should Star as Freddy Krueger in the Next ‘A Nightmare on Elm Street’ Reboot?!

It seems these days Hollywood really isn’t all that interested in making good movies when it comes to our pop culture icons. Instead of giving the people what they really want they’ve continuously tried to give us all what THEY think we want. So it’s no surprise that they’re going to give us yet another go round at “A Nightmare on Elm Street”. The 2010 film was a failed attempt to modernize the story and give it to a whole new younger generation. The film was total bore and featured a new actor as Freddy Krueger. It came and went really without anyone giving a shit about it. Now it’s time again to try and revive the franchise which lead to the question of who’s going to wear the legendary glove? I’m fairly certain it’s NOT going to be Jackie Earle Haley, who did an ok job trying give Freddy a new spin. Still the fans were not happy with the flick. However fans of the franchise do clearly know what they want in A Nightmare on Elm Street and it ain’t a new actor playing Freddy!

So let’s just get this out of the way. Let’s not kid ourselves Hollywood. You want a successful new Nightmare on Elm Street movie? One that’s going to excite people? You want to make a big deal out of it? You want social media to go nuts about it? You of course want to make BIG money more than anything else, because we all know that’s what it’s really all about for Hollywood right? Well then listen up you greedy cash hogs to this here rather unimportant trivial little blogger who’s an actual real fan of the movies. It’s simple, get ROBERT ENGLUND back.

You don’t need a younger more hip actor to play Freddy. Nope. The people that wanna see this movie want one thing. The real Freddy. Englund is NOT too old for the role. Let’s face it his face is covered by latex it doesn’t matter if he’s 85 years old. People want the real deal. Have you really payed attention to what JJ is doing with Star Wars? Case closed. Robert Englund should be Freddy. You already know the answer to success here, don’t fuck it up again.

Green Room : Oregon Punk Rockers Battle Patrick Stewart’s Neo Nazi Skinhead Gang!

I’m totally excited to see ‘Green Room‘, the follow up to Jeremy Saulnier’s awesome revenge flick Blue Ruin due out later this year. The movie was filmed right here (where I live) in Portland Oregon and the surrounding wilderness. It features Anton Yelchin (Star Trek’s Chekov) as a member of a Punk rock band that strays into a secluded part of the Pacific Northwest to play a underground venue. If you’ve seen Blue Ruin already you know Sauliner’s got the chops to give a mean, gritty adventure that’s not your average cookie cutter Hollywood flick.

So far the reviews for this movie hail it as a throwback to the 80’s as the young punk band “The Ain’t Rights” show up at the punk rock gig at an odd venue out in the boonies only to find they’re playing on a bill that caters to a local neo Nazi scene in rural Oregon.

They decide against all better judgement to rip into a cover of the Dead Kennedys’ classic “Nazi Punks Fuck Off” and from that point on all hell breaks loose as they witness a act of violence and are targeted by the racist punk horde. 

The night becomes a fight for their life against the neo Nazi skinhead gang lead by none other than Patrick Stewart (Now that I’ve gotta see). This sounds like a awesome unique premise for a rural survival flick that’s bound to be quite a tense thriller! Sign me up, as long as the Nazi punks get exactly what they deserve in the end, fingers crossed!

  

VHS Verdict: ‘The Unholy’ Brings Those Pesky 80’s Demons to Church!

Here we have a rather rare VHS I ran across recently while doing some major thrift store shopping up in the north woods of Wisconsin! The Unholy is a pretty neat-o piece of 1980’s demon church cheeze! This is the kind of movie I really enjoy stumbling across.

The Unholy was released in 1988 and tells the story of a Father Michael (Ben Cross) who’s appointed to a church in New Orleans where two priests where murdered two years before. The movie’s pretty dang fun over all, giving you a ton weird ass 80’s goth night club types who perform violent looking mock rituals while the priest investigates the scenes in the New Orleans cult underground. If you’re intrigued by the over the top fashion and nightlife of the 1980’s you’ll dig this.

Of course Father Michael’s going to be ‘tempted’ by some rather ‘unholy’ racy, 80’s style, sexy situations by this demonic force running amuck. Yep this powerful sexy demon goes by the name “Desederious” and spends most of the time trying to seduce Father to the side of the Devil. Too bad Father Michael, despite being a priest doesn’t believe in demons or the Devil!

Ok now this is some scary shit.

Well it doesn’t take long before his mind is changed once weird shit begins occurring around the church! This one does drag a bit during the middle with a bit too much jibber jabber going on that quite honestly I could give two shits about. I mean c’mon let’s get on with this shit and have a demon battle already! Well thankfully the third act of this movie is pretty satisfying as a fan of 80’s monster movies this one gets pretty good once Desederious shows her true form and Father Michael loses his sex drive pretty damn quickly!

Yep we get some pretty fun little pesky mini demon minions running around and Desederious looks pretty ridiculously awesome in her true demon form running around on all fours. I mean if I saw that fucking weird ass thing appear in a dark alley I’d most definitely run for the hills while peeing my pants!

‘The Unholy’ has a pretty decent cast, we even see Ned Beatty show up here, we get some fun as hell classic special effects and sweet 80’s fashion. if you can get through about 25 minutes of rather boring dialogue in the middle the third and final act will surely deliver the goods!! Seek this one out if you can and if you’re a true fan of C-movie 80’s horror!

Metal Movie Mayhem: Thor, Black Metal Warriors & Demons from New Zealand!

Some good news for fans of metal music and horror flicks! Yeah the power of real metal isn’t showcased enough these days so this is a sweet bit of info for all you headbangers!  First is the trailer for New Zealand flick “Deathgasm”! This one looks like a throwback to movies like “Rock & Roll Nightmare”, “The Gate” and “Trick Or Treat” from the 1980’s with a bit of Peter Jackson’s Dead Alive thrown in for good measure. By the trailer and a few recent reviews it’s sounds like this one is gonna be full on shock rocker!

Here’s the synopsis:

“After his mother is institutionalized, misfit Brodie is sent to live with his Uncle Albert and Aunt Mary, whose son David torments him. A heavy metal fan, Brodie forms a band called DEATHGASM with his friends Zakk, Dion, and Giles. When bandmates break into a local house, they discover that one of their idols, reclusive musician Rikki Daggers, lives there. Daggers gives the band magical sheet music, which a cult later murders him to find. Skeptical of the sheet music’s power, the band plays it, only to summon a demon. With the help of his crush, Medina, and his bandmates, Brodie must find a way to defeat the demon.”

This one looks gory, creepy, action packed and super cheezy- here’s the trailer:

So I say Deathgasm took a nod from the movie “Rock & Roll Nightmare” I mentioned earlier and if you’ve never seen that movie then you’re by no means a fan of cheezy 80’s heavy metal horror! It’s star, metal musician Jon Mikl “Thor” was quite a guy back in those days and kicked the Devil’s ass in the cult flick. But not without and epic battle!

The final battle between the two is one of the most ridiculous movie battles of all time! Thor has been at it since the mid 1970’s and today is back at it again enthralling die hard metal fanatics with his crazy stage shows. So now I hear there’s a new documentary coming out soon about Thor and it looks totally lovable in every way. We’ll finally get the full scoop on the legend himself!

Check this out:

Still not convinced Thor is the real deal well then take gander at this classic music video from Thor, which many deem the worst music video of all time! I however disagree, it just might be one of the best!!

Oh and here’s the trailer for the epic 80’s classic Rock & Roll Nightmare:

Yee-haw!! Big Info on Michael Dougherty’s ‘Amblin’ Style KRAMPUS Movie!!

Just had to share this awesome newly released movie poster for the upcoming ‘Krampus’ due out this Christmas from Michael Dougherty! I’ve been waiting for years for some one to really step up to the plate to deliver some serious X-mas horror and it really baffles me how it’s taken this long to get a real Krampus Christmas movie! What excited me even more is that Dougherty is directing this one and if you’ve seen his awesome “Trick R’ Treat” Halloween horror flick you’ll understand why. So here we have this totally rad retro throwback movie poster, with real artwork (which is a nice touch these days) and fold lines- this gets me even MORE excited for this movie!!

Here’s an interview from yesterday with Dougherty and the cast of Krampus from the 2015 Comic Con!! Sounds like this one is going to be an ‘Amblin’ style (Goonies, E.T., Poltergeist) flick..wow…

‘Ash vs The Evil Dead’ Trailer Looks Totally Groovy!!!!

Wow!! It looks like Sam Raimi just might have finally gone and done it right!! I’ve been so skeptical and at the same time so excited about Ash vs The Evil Dead tv series from Starz for the longest time. But today my fears were firmly put to rest by the brand new full trailer for the series and folks it seems that we just may have a full on home run here for all who love the Evil Dead as much as I do!

The first trailer is so damn good I can’t even find one thing I don’t like about it. It’s production quality looks like a movie and the special effects look pretty gosh darn incredible. Tons of old school practical gore, blood and creatures here make this so far blend pretty seamlessly with the movies. Bruce looks great, I love the comedy and the frantic action in the trailer is full on fucking awesome. Count me seriously in for this series! So I stand corrected Mr. Raimi, maybe like Bruce you still got it! Universal Dork approves!!! 

And lots more info in this Comic Con interview!

 

Let’s Make ‘Hellboy 3’ Happen!!

I’m super happy that Ron Perlman is taking matters into his own hands recently with Hellboy 3!! To me it’s absoutely ridiculous that this franchise remains with out it’s final chapter! I’m a HUGE fan of the movies and  HUGE fan of the Hellboy/BPRD Mignolaverse and while the movie took a bit of a different take on the character in many ways I still think Del Toro nailed the look and vibe of the whole comic book world they exist in. I don’t think it was humanly possible to cast a better Hellboy (Ron Perlman) and all of the FX work was 100%! I mean how amazing was Doug Jones as Abe Sapien too?!

Well apparently not quite amazing enough for the masses as we never got the third chapter of Guillermo’s planned trilogy. Perhaps the Hellboy universe is just too dang bizarre for the people who yearn for ultra chiseled male models in costume? But for some odd reason we are getting a sequel to the rather unimpressive forgettable Pacific Rim? What gives? Well Perlman and the rest of the cast are pretty damn excited to finish the story. Good ol’ Ron has been speaking out about getting the third film made saying:

“I don’t have any news for you, but there’s always a chance, I’m getting to that age where, if I waited much longer, ‘Hellboy 3’ will be performed out of a wheelchair. So I was basically trying to say, if there’s going to be this thing, it should be sooner rather than later. I wouldn’t want to be involved in a crowdfunding. I don’t think it’s the fans’ job to fund a movie; I think it’s up to the people who do it professionally. I think it’s the fans’ job to sit back and buy popcorn and Coke and watch a movie and enjoy it.”

So here at Universal Dork I wanna use my voice (what little one it may be) to get more of the word out about making Hellboy 3 finally happen! Let’s not get a rebooted Hellboy just yet, let’s finish the story we started and see what Hellboy’s fate really is. Will he bring about the destruction of mankind bringing Hell on earth? Or will he somehow fight the creatures from deep down in the firey pits? Imagine some of the other BPRD agents added to the cast like Panya, Roger the homunculus, Benjamin Daimio, Howards or how’s about Lobster Johnson?!

 

And also how about a B.P.R.D. movie?! Or a Netflix series? Give us something dammit! I have honestly been slowly becoming totally burnt out on The Avengers movies, I think that Ant-man looks like a bland 2008 Marvel movie with another boring villain and the same tired formula as most Marvel flicks being churned out. Highly forgettable shit in the end. I really believe the Hellboy movie universe holds a lot more intrigue, horror and mystery at the moment. To me Marvel movies are starting to feel like a bit like a shiny boring Pepsi commercial. But in this day and age that’s what most people seem to dig, and if a film isn’t going to make massive amounts of cash then Hollywood just ain’t interested. The first two films didn’t make an obscene amount of money, so the idea of a third movie being made today I guess is kinda unfathomable.

To me the movies always seemed a little too unique and smart for the mainstream. Crowdfunding may indeed be the only way to get this one off the ground at this point. Or perhaps they could re-cast some male supermodels in the roles of Abe Sapien and Hellboy and make them all sexy? Ugghhh…Despite all of that  I still think Ron Perlman’s Hellboy could be the guy who saves the superhero flick….let’s get the word out there!