‘THERE’S SOMETHING IN THE BARN’ Brings Norwegian Elves to the Xmas Party This Year!

Oh how I love those little guys from Norway-the trolls, the gnomes and in this case the ELVES! I was pretty excited for that reason alone to check out this new holiday horror comedy released this season. I’ll be the first to admit since the success of  2015’s excellent Christmas horror film ‘Krampus’ there’s been a heavy influx of pretty shitty films trying to cash in on the “holiday horror” buzz. A Christmas horror film just isn’t quite a special as it once used to be sadly. However every year I give em’ all a try anyway and ‘There’s Something in the Barn’ seemed somewhat promising. It’s setting alone had me intrigued as it’s actually filmed in Norway and as I said earlier features barn elves-though honestly I’d say they’re actually “Gnomes”.

However it did feel a bit familiar once I started the movie as last year there was a Danish Netflix holiday horror series called ‘Elves’ that I really quite enjoyed, that most definitely is worth watch but had a real similar, yet more tonally serious premise. ‘There’s Something in the Barn’ is really first and foremost a comedy and secondly a horror fantasy. 

I was drawn even more to checkin’ it out when I’d heard it also featured Martin Starr, everyones favorite nerd (Feaks & Geeks, Dead Snow 2) in the lead. I love that guy and the “fish out of water” setting for him and his family inheriting an amazing property with a big rustic lot and a creepy barn in a faraway land was all a big plus. So did it quench that holiday horror thirst? Well it’s definitely NO “Krampus”, but it’s quite a bit more fun than the average Christmas horror they’ve been pumping out the last almost 9 years.

The comedy here is pretty standard family stuff, it’s not a gut busting affair but really today is anything really that funny anymore? It plays the comedy pretty safe and straight as I think it could’ve benefitted far more with sharper script writing and probably the story in general to be honest. It’s a sort of mash-up of E.T. meets Gremlins, heavy on the holiday vibes, slight family drama and a finale that’s finally beefs up the horror.

There is indeed “something in the barn”, a cute lil’ Norwegian elf, that not unlike the Gremlins has some “rules” that need to be adhered to keep it happy. Of course this family of ninnies are as about as clueless as they come of course. There’s a young boy who befriends the gnome with some cookies and that’s about as deep as their “strong” friendship bond gets-I think they needed to explore their connection to really flesh out the story for it’s rather exciting finale. The characters in general are pretty paper thin sadly and really could’ve been developed in a way that’d made us care a bit more if they were victims of severely pissed off ravenous little barn elves.

So don’t go in expecting this to go too deep as it still tries to tug at the viewers hearts with not enough heart at it’s core. But enough about that, because we’re really all here for the elves right?! I’m happy to report that indeed the elves are pretty great, using real little people, great make up fx and some convincing Norwegian style to their look. Once the “friendship” ends between the family and the elf, things get pretty exhilarating for an action packed bloody battle with even some “political commentary” thrown in somehow.

There’s snowmobiles, explosions, caves, secret rooms, heavy drinkin’ and lots of cool lookin’ little maniacs who’re hellbent on fucking things up for the American family, who thinks that they can do whatever the hell they want on foreign soil. There are a couple scenes of excessively bad green screening going on here that sort of took me out of what was a pretty sweet final battle-making me wonder why they’d resort to a chintzy looking fx sequence rather than doing something more organic? Overall though this flick is definitely worth a watch this year, it’s pretty fun as long you’re not expecting the next “staple” holiday horror film and it’s got enough going on that it never drags. The setting of Norway during Christmas time is worth the price of admission alone-I’d say you could do MUCH worse this year than ‘There’s Something in the Barn’, do a double feature and watch this first with ‘Krampus’, ‘Gremlins’, ‘Violent Night’, Deadly Games’ or Rare Exports as the headliner!

 

‘DIE HARD’ This Christmas?! I Say Watch ‘TURBULENCE’ From 1997 Instead!!

What to watch this Christmas season?! People seem to always talk about DIE HARD as being the “go to” holiday action thriller to watch during the holidays but this year I checked out a movie that’s WAY more Christmas vibes than the Bruce Willis jam-1997’s TURBULENCE has eluded me for WAY too long. I’m not quite sure why  I waited so long to see this one I guess I thought it was some stupid action movie but it’s so much more. I have seen turbulence 3 heavy metal and that was a ton of stupid fun so I guess I sort of figured that the first movie must have something interesting to offer at least? Recently I read a synopsis of the first turbulence and found out that it took place on Christmas. Of course I was immediately intrigued and had to dig deeper. So a couple nights ago I decided to go there finally & am quite pleased to say that this one delivers the shit on pretty much every damn level. Something I really wasn’t expecting was a new holiday classic. But hey, that’s exactly what I think Turbulence is for this holiday!

 First off let me say that the film’s main plot was nothing like what I’d expected it to be for all of these years- Comparing ‘Turbulence’ simply to being “Die Hard on a 757” would simply be an injustice. Turbulence is just as much an action movie as it is a slasher film as it is a Christmas film! Checks all three boxes and we’ve got a winner here.  The first thing I was pleased to notice is just how prominently the Christmas holiday is displayed front and center in it, yeah it bleeds holiday charm from nearly every shot in the most rewarding ways.

So if you’re a holiday fanatic looking for a reason to throw this movie on you just simply have very excuse to do rightly do so. There are Christmas trees everywhere, holiday decorations hanging from every house and then even the plane that it takes place on is SO draped in holiday decor it’s almost at times too much (if that’s even possible?!). There’s Christmas music playing, there’s ‘It’s a Wonderful Life’ being shown on the plane as its featured movie- this film’s about as holiday themed as they come. It’s the story of a man who seemingly framed by the police being tied to a string of serial killings on Christmas Eve.

Ray Liotta, stars as the man taken captive by the cops and quickly transported on a nearly empty 757 jumbo jet airliner during the holidays-What could go wrong right? Even adding more to it’s charm, it also stars the love interest from ‘Dumb and Dumber’ Lauren Holly and Andy Barclay’s mother from ‘Childs Play’ Catherine hicks as flight attendants on this wild ride in the sky filled with you guessed… it some dangerous turbulence and serial killer!

So even though it REALLY delivered the heavy holiday vibes it also played out out much more like a horror film, (SPOILERS) with Ray Lotta going “full unhinged psycho” in the best way possible. It’s actually got some strong slasher elements, just set on an out of control plane on Christmas Eve.

It’s a really fun concept and there’s some pretty great atmosphere here to soak up, as well as some pretty sweet totally tense action sequences. Liotta really shines here to, hamming it up as the movie’s likely wronged “protagonist” who I thought was destined for onscreen redemption (and maybe some romance?) with a great ridiculous plot twist that suddenly shifted things into the horror thriller genre on the dime.

The huge plane is the perfect place for a square off with a psycho high up in the sky-having plenty of creepy Christmasy corridors to run and hide to during a tense game of cat and mouse. A somewhat super stupid but thrilling little roller coaster ride that’s a perfect holiday party film too. There’s not a dull moment in sight and frankly I’m not surprised this spawned a couple sequels, I’d just never realized how full throttle “Christmas” themed this one actually was and how well it crosses over into the horror aspect of things-even supplying an awesome “final girl” to take on a total maniac on a jumbo jet. I really dug ‘Turbulence’ and it was a pleasure seeing for the first time during the holiday season! This year if you’ve never seen it I’d say it’s a must if you’re looking for a relatively seldom talked about horror thriller that’s got the holiday spirit in FULL effect!!

Comic Cover of the Week: CHRISTMAS With MAN-THING?!

‘Tis the season to be jolly even for the Man-Thing apparently?! Yes! Even the smushy green monster has got the holiday spirit as the festive cover from 1998 clearly shows! I’ve always really liked Man-Thing he’s really a bizarre anti-hero and here he’s decided to don the Santa Claus duds for the cover, Liam Sharp kinda gives him a more sexy furry looks than I normally like but regardless it’s still pretty sweet Holiday themed cover from the late 1990s!

Holiday Horrors: ‘TWO FRONT TEETH’ An Ambitiously Stupid, Low Budget Creepy Y2K Christmas Adventure!

I’m trying to track down some weird cinematic Christmas gold this year by finally checking out some films that I’ve sort of avoided for years. Hearing that they’re a complete waste of precious holiday time or just resorting again to my “go to selections” that I often find myself a bit tired of when I pop on the tube as of late. So took a chance on a film that’s been on my radar for years when I spotted it at Portland, Oregon’s most prized video store, Movie Madness. TWO FRONT TEETH, released 2006 (but looks more like it was shot in the 90s?) is a shot on video (digital?) Christmas themed horror film that looks like a heap of cheap trash, is full of bad acting, lots of jokes that don’t work and yet there’s something about it I kinda love! This one was also made before everyone and their mother were pumping out Christmas themed horror films by the dozens every year. So it still stands out as an interesting  largely hidden holiday oddity.

There’s quite a bit to dislike about the film if you’re gonna be really picky, mainly at how badly shot it is-it’s pretty ugly looking with lots of bad lighting, unimpressive sets and terribly bland locations. For instance, the opening scene take place on Christmas Eve in what looks like a cheap manufactured home that’s at the very least got an abundance of holiday decor on display. That’s what sort of saves this one-pretty much every scene is jam packed FULL of Christmas, so as bland as a lot of the sets do look they really give it their all to put the holiday on display. Sometimes obviously overdoing it-but considering the main characters names are Gabe Snow & Noelle it’s quite clear that was the intention here. Pretty much EVERYTHING is Christmas related, but somehow at it’s core has a somewhat “engaging” story that’s part horror, part comedy, part road adventure and even somewhat of a “romantic” drama. It’s a true oddity with a fair amount of heart & passion at it’s core that’s trying damn hard to push a narrative that’s far more ambitious than its budget actually allows. That’s not say though there’s not a lot to be quite impressed with here though somehow.

The plot is a wild one, It’s Christmas Eve and we meet Gabe Snow, a cowardly tabloid writer who’s emotionally traumatized by the holiday for unknown reasons, is investigating a Yuletide conspiracy for a paper called the X-Mas files. Gabe believes that a commercial airplane was brought down on Christmas Eve by a flying reindeer and is determined to bring the truth to the general public. He’s also in the midst of a nasty divorce as his foul mouthed, quite unlikable wife Noelle is banging one of her coworkers that festive evening at their home. But that’s the least of Gabe’s worries. Wicked vampire elves, descend upon his home and nearly murder his wife. This forces him and his wife to head out onto the open road to escape the threat and to find the only one who can seemingly help them, a “Creighton Duke” style bounty hunter who’s got the scoop on the deadly holiday conspiracy.

So as you can see the plot is quite absurd, but not played only just for cheap laughs-though there are plenty of those thrown around. Some of the comedy works and some of it does come off a bit too ham-fisted, again like the writers here think they’re really comedically clever. That being said the bulk of the film is actually played pretty straight for the most part and I think it works in it’s favor, despite most of the time looking like total shit. But being used to watching stuff that most would classify as total shit, I found that to be barely a problem. There’s some interesting backstories thrown in that pack some emotional weight as well that I give props for making attempts at real character development.

The movie never really slows down, at around 74 minutes it’s pretty lean and some of the fx here especially with the vampire elves look surprisingly pretty damn solid. They’re clad in black leather, have real creepy makeup fx with huge fleshy ears & some of their attack sequences are pretty well done too. Plus the “Creighton Cowboy” character is pretty fun addition as well and they definitely try and produce some solid action with him and his “toy guns”.

That’s not all though there are also three ninja nuns that show up as well as a pretty creepy vampire Santa named “Clausferatu” (an instance where the writers think that’s like super “clever”). The whole thing is pretty idiotic, but still shows an ambitious plot execution that you can feel is filled with passion and despite the odds is a lot of fun.

The kind of movie where you sort of begin to root for the cast and crew to deliver the goods within the confines of the budget. I kept thinking that this film if given to the right director and writer to tweak the somewhat too on the nose, cringey “holiday themed comedy” shit down a bit could have been an instant cult Xmas classic, if this exact same film had been shot on video in the 80’s people would likely today would regard it as a holiday horror genre must see. However given it’s release in 2006(an era not fully appreciated yet by most) it’s likely going to take a few more years before people catch on to just how unique this stupid little yuletide adventure really is. I for one will most definitely be giving this another watch next year! Two Front Teeth was a definite holiday treat I think that is currently aging quite nicely…

 

U-Dork MUST See Holiday Viewing: 1985’s ‘MONSTER’S IN MY ROOM’ w/ Seth Green?!

I just had a revelation: One of my long lost favorite episodes of ‘Tales from the Darkside’ is actually a Christmas themed horror story! Yeah, the legendary 1980s horror tv series created by icon George Romero is easily one of the best of all time, like any anthology series there are some misses among it’s three seasons but when they hit they’re some of the best. Originally planned as a ‘Creepshow’ sequel tv series, but renamed ‘Tales from the Darkside’ due to rights issues. Many of these episodes are just as good or better than what we got in the first two installments of the original two ‘Creepshow’ movies. So now that we’re back in the holiday season I’ve began some deep diving into forgotten xmas themed horror once again! 

I hadn’t seen the 1985 episode ‘Monsters In My Room’ from the second season likely since the 80’s, however I never really forgot it. I just recently got the second season collection of the show on DVD and realized that Seth Green was the star of the episode AND that it also takes place on Christmas! A favorite of mine and a holiday horror treat I could appreciate all over again. The series already has two great Christmas themed episodes-and if you combined all three of these with a holiday wraparound it’s be akin to a real
“Creepshow Holiday anthology” flick-eons better than their 2020 special ‘Shapeshifters Anonymous’. The episodes you need to check out, if you’re looking for real 80’s Xmas horror are ‘The Yattering & Jack’, ‘Seasons of Belief’ & this episode ‘Monsters In My Room’.

We get a super creepy little tale that takes place at Christmas time were Seth Green is terrorized by creatures who live in his room and “come out to play” during the holiday. To make matters worse Seth’s  new stepdad “Biff” is a total dick and is obsessed with “making a man” out of little Seth Green on Christmas Eve. When the monsters materialize in the form of an ogre, a huge saw blade, a tentacled monster beneath his bed and a wild wicked witch he naturally goes to his parents to let them know what he’s seen. But of course NO one believes him-especially not Biff who thinks he’s being a coward.

Things take a dark twist though as the “tuff guy sailor” Biff gets wasted one night and enters Seth’s room, singing him old school sailor anthems-one of the things that always seemed to stick with me was his ridiculous drunken singing where he performs: “what do you do with a yellow belly sailor? Shave his belly with a rusty razor” like a total buffoon. I love this episode, I think it’s one of the quintessential of the series, it’s got the holiday vibes all over it and a gang of super cool looking monsters, as well as some really well executed genuinely creepy sequences. Plus little kid Seth Green is awesome here and around this same time appeared in the ‘Amazing Stories’ episode ‘The Sitter’ a total gem of the series and horror themed as well.

So yeah check out THIS episode this year and if you by chance haven’t seen the other two Christmas themed ‘Tales from the Darkside’ episodes you’ve got to watch all three in ONE sitting, like a long lost 80’s Holiday “Creepshow” anthology film-a true trio of Xmas terror! 

Watch the whole thing on Dailymotion!

VHS Verdict: 1987’s ‘Order of the Black Eagle’ & the Return of Typhoon the Baboon!

I watched Order of the Black Eagle, a VHS that I was pretty pumped to see that’s currently stuck in “video only” limbo and is the sequel to 1986’s ‘Unmasking The Idol’. That one got a sweet Vinegar Syndrome blu ray release-that you just got to pick up if you’re looking for a total 80’s action banger. I was lucky enough to see the first installment here on the big screen in Portland, OR at the iconic Cinematic Theater with in a packed theater and boy was it a crowd pleaser! The star of the show is really the main character’s (a 007 style secret agent named “Duncan Jax”) animal sidekick, a Baboon named Typhoon, who’s got his own damn Letterboxd actor page! The lil guy kicks a LOT of ass in the first film. This of course is while he wears a tuxedo, does martial arts moves and flips people the bird whenever he gets the opportunity!

I HIGHLY recommend picking up that on blu ray-so I was naturally super stoked to find that the movie had a sequel from 1987! Made just a year later, so peeps must have been just as pumped as I was about this nifty little fully over the top adventure romp. Yes- Even more shenanigans from Duncan Jax AND of COURSE Typhoon the baboon. Sign me up! I’m a total sucker for 1980s adventure films jam packed with all the thing that make the era such a unique time for action filled with real explosions and crazy commandos.

Well I found it on VHS and threw up the projector and gave ‘Order of the Black Eagle’ an eager viewing. The rundown goes something like this: On a remote island, inside of a strange castle a gang of ambitious Neo nazi’s have an outrageous plan to revive Hitler from the dead. It’s up to Jax and his rag tag gang of super spies to infiltrate this evil clan and make sure Hitler stays dead forever! Now that’s some incentive huh?! He’s the ultimate evil looking a little waxy while still in suspended animation.

Well along the way we do get quite an adventure, full of explosions, lots of guns, jungles, babes, hunks, evil masterminds and over the top bastard henchmen. It’s pretty fun little dumb pulpy romp that unfortunately is a bit light on Typhoon the baboon and with his role significantly diminished in the second installment the film unfortunately begins to devolve into a generic rich white playboy secret agent man who simply doesn’t have the charm (or the script) of the real James Bond. Luckily he’s joined by a gang of gun crazy numb nuts the likes of this guy right here:

Typhoon was likely the main reason why ‘Unmasking the Idol’ felt SO special-no matter how many explosions you throw at us. Sure it’s still fun to see Hitler’s resurrection get foiled and Jax’s team of tough guys/gals (who barely get any character development) go to town on a huge nazi militia BUT what we really all came to actually see was the damn BABOON! And when he does appear the vibe obviously changes quickly as his charisma level is pretty much through the roof.

So what exactly was Typhoon doing most of the time here? Well even though he wasn’t on screen nearly as much as the last film-he still go plenty moments to flip people off (which never seems to get old) and also his big “highlight” comes when he jumps in a miniature primate sized tank(as seen in the above pic) and blows up a dozen Neo-nazis. So it’s still got a few entertaining chops under it’s sleeve but this time around most of the action involves Jax and his new band of misfit commandos-which is still a lot of fun to behold but still manages to be a bit bland at least in comparison to the first installment.

This also falls a bit into the “Indiana Jones rip-off” sub genre more this time, with lots of island jungle chases, river boating and shoddy cheap-o adventuring inside a castle temple that looks like it’s made out of cardboard. Count me in for anything from the era that strives to give us some “Indy action flavor”, It feels like I’m cutting this film down but it really does make for a fun midnight flick and I personally think Vinegar Syndrome should have released both films in a 2-pack.

This is in serious need of a new transfer as well as a some intense sound editing, the VHS version of the film’s dialogue is severely buried in the background noises and loud score. Overall ‘Order of the Black Eagle’ is a bit of a subpar sequel to a near perfect first installment-obviously it need more of Typhoon the baboon but had THIS been a stand-alone film I think it still would be deserving of a small but dedicated cult following. If you haven’t seen ‘Unmasking the Idol’ though you’re in for a real treat, just keep in mind that the sequel doesn’t really improve on much and it’s clear why a third film never materialized…

 

Comic Cover of the week: Web of Spider-man #8!

Back in the day ‘Web of Spider-Man’ was one of my favorites of the webheads many titles at the time. Particularly because I found that this series had some of his best comic book covers and Of course I was a giant fan of the wildly controversial black Spider-man costume. Looking back at it it’s aged like fine wine And it always looked super bad ass on covers with overly simplistic design proving again that less is sometimes indeed more. Covers like this make me really miss the comic books of the 1980s, artist Geof Isherwood created an iconic cover from an amazing era….

 

Thanksgiving 2023 Movie Pick: Rock n’ Roll Mimes, PCP & Magic Tricks in 1981’s Forgotten Holiday Slasher HOME SWEET HOME!

So it seems ‘Blood Rage’ has been ALL the rage as “the first” Thanksgiving slasher flick, the go to holiday horror-BUT what about the homicidal “roid rage” of 1981’s turkey dinner of terror ‘HOME SWEET HOME’?! Yeah- this year it’s time for a new musclebound maniac to go fully unhinged and ruin the family gathering. Home Sweet Home is like Lou Ferrigno jacked up on PCP obliterating anyone who gets in his way on turkey day. He’s literally a brainless hulking beast-who for some unknown reason has gone fully ballistic. Yes this one’s flown under the radar for FAR too long!!

It’s also got a pretty god damn ridiculous cast of characters that get together during Thanksgiving for a total feast- one being a young man named “Mistake Bradley” (how awesome is that?) who dresses up like a mime all the time especially for Thanksgiving and shreds some hot licks on the guitar at the drop of a dime! This guy definitely should have been the main character, one of the most bizarre slasher victims, hands down that I’ve ever seen put to film. He’s also likely one of the most irritating characters you could ever have at a Thanksgiving gathering! Unbelievable. He’s to me at least the main reason to watch this weird little early 80s slasher. Oh yeah and he wears a guitar amplifier backpack!

But honestly this guy is not the only character that has to be seen to believe be believed here, most of the people at this gathering are complete boneheads. and he’s most definitely NOT the only one who plays guitar all the time- there’s also an over the top “Mexican” woman who busts out into ridiculous songs at any given moment also. It just so turns out Mistake Bradley is in love with her too. A horny couple also arrives in they’re convertible and decide randomly to try to have sex right out in front of the driveway, in broad daylight as the people inside are getting ready for Thanksgiving dinner. Meanwhile 80’s fitness icon Jake “Body by Jake” Steinfeld roams around sweating his ass off, with his muscles bulging, murdering seemingly random people any chance he gets. He opens the movie by mowing down an old grandmother (in a car he’s just stolen from a guy who’s neck he’s just broken) while she’s innocently walking in the cross walk.

He also has “Home Sweet Home” tattooed on his hand and continuously laughs like a total psychopath after he does the deed. Yeah most of this movie is a real site to behold but right around the third act the film sadly does start to drag a little bit as most of the film’s most insanely idiotic characters have already been slaughtered like a Thanksgiving turkey. I really hoped they’d all team up to destroy “Insane Jake” but ultimately the tone shifts wildly and these charming idiots are sadly just there to be prey for the big guy.

I can’t tell you how depressed I was when the “rock and roll mime” Mistake was taken out of the equation, I mean he also randomly performs ridiculous magic tricks for the guests who were clearly NOT interested in his shtick. I really do think he’s one of the greatest movie characters I’ve ever seen, so for THAT alone this movie is a must watch.

Unfortunately the version that I watched on YouTube must have been a rip from an old VHS tape and most of it was incredibly hard to see especially the dark scenes at night. Pure blackness..surely this thing could’ve used a tighter edit in the third act (even though it’s only 83 minutes long) but I think it’s most definitely is a contender for a sweet blu ray release where you can actually see what the hell is going on during the night time finale. The VHS version of this too is a pretty penny to purchase. So home Sweet Home has got a lot going for it, there’s plenty of hot babes here too, hunky morons, a few wild inventive kills and a cast so wild it gives ‘Blood Rage’ some serious competition for best Thanksgiving slasher!!

Comic Cover of the Week: Bill Sienkiewicz DAZZLES!

Comic cover of the week? More like ‘album cover’ of the decade! Here’s just another example of just how amazing of an artist Bill Sienkiewicz is once again. I’m blown away that rock bands weren’t knocking down his door to do their album cover artwork. Dazzler #27 (from 1983) surely does “dazzle”and if you take a minute to look at the whole collection of his Dazzler artwork it’s just as good as this-some of the most awesome “80s” imagery of the decade…hands down!

Monster Puppets, Magic & Mystery: ONYX The FORTUITOUS & The TALISMAN of SOULS

I went into ‘ONYX The FORTUITOUS & The TALISMAN of SOULS’ not knowing much of what to expect except that it apparently had Barbara Crampton and Jeffrey Combs in it, which I assumed would likely be small cameos. However this new horror comedy was a breath of fresh air and though it did only feature Crampton in a cameo, Combs was a major player here as the movie’s sinister villain. Better yet the film’s jam packed with some really sharp comedy, mainly from the film’s writer, director, editor and star of the film Andrew Bowser who plays the severely socially awkward character Marcus (but he prefers to be called Onyx the Fortuitous). Marcus lives with his mom, works at a fast-food burger joint and gets zero respect from anyone.

He’s quite a strange character who’s brand of humor is likely to divide audiences-luckily I thought he was pretty entertaining but I can see how he could be a bit too much for certain people to endure. Almost like fast talking “Napoleon Dynamite” whose mannerisms sorta have to be seen to be fully embraced. Apparently Andrew Bowser has been doing the character on Youtube for a while now and this is his feature film debut.

Anyway Marcus’ life has reached an all time low when it’s apparent he’s got no real friends or meaningful relationships that is until he wins a contest to a weekend stay at a creepy mansion hosted by his favorite online Satanic occult personality “Bartok the Great” and his sexy assistant Farrah. There he meets a cast off oddball characters who’ve also won this odd vacation opportunity. However they get much more than they bargained for when they realize all is not as it seems and there’s a much more sinister plan afoot that catapults  them into bizarre mystery leaving them trapped inside the stronghold. The best thing about this weird little horror comedy are the uniquely ridiculous characters we follow. As Marcus, who convinces the rest of the crew to call him “Onyx” isn’t strange enough he’s joined by a solid supporting cast.

Jeffrey Combs delivers the goods here too, he’s not phoning it in and we all know when he’s on top of his game he’s a cinematic genius to behold. The film’s cast really pushes this one along at a brisk pace with plenty of heart and intrigue-but there’s more for old school horror fans. The special fx here also take center stage with some truly impressive creatures that are brought to life via some incredible puppetry and animatronics. This one would make even Jim Henson’s Creature Shop a bit jealous I think. Minimal CGI here is greatly appreciated and it shows just how special a production can feel when filled with creations that are actually on set.

That all being said I wish that they’d have gotten a bit more screen time, most of the stunning puppetry is contained to one key sequence. The trailer does make it look a little more fully loaded with monsters, still maybe less is more in this case and the movie might’ve benefitted more from the way it’s characters, at the end of the day, shine more than any crazy gore or bloodthirsty creatures. This one’s comedy which I think is pretty razor sharp for the most parts (aside from maybe getting a little too cutesy at the finale) is really the main attraction. But that doesn’t mean the film doesn’t look great-it’s got the spooky atmosphere nailed down but could’ve utilized the set pieces a bit more to really push the adventure to the next level. All in all though this one was a real delight and a bonafide vanity project from Andrew Bowser that’s bound to end up a modern day cult classic.

It’s got the FX, the humor, colorful characters, mystery, totally excellent puppet monsters and just the right amount of heart to give it some emotional weight. Check this one out if you’re looking for something a bit different-hopefully you’ll find Andrew’s character “Onyx” as hilarious as I did-that being said-you’ve been WARNED!!