Wow! Now here is a pretty radical little 1990s toy set that completely flew under my damn radar! Yes the 1991 Terminator 2 Bio-flesh Regenerator from Kenner is a real weird and wild one that I wish I would’ve known about way back when. Check out the awesome awesome commercial for this thing!
Let’s all face the facts here as a kid and quite frankly as an adult the greatest thing about ‘The Terminator’ was what was beneath the living flesh (no offense to your “hot bod” Arnold). You can’t have one without the other though and what makes The Terminator’s metal cybernetic skeleton so impressive is the man whose muscle is on the outside.
With this play set you get the best of both worlds and let’s face it one of the coolest things about The Terminator is when parts of this flesh gets blown off so this thing was tailor made for someone like me! This at least to me was back in a time when people were being truly inventive That really peaked “kid curiosity” at the highest levels kudos to Kenner for this one! They just DON’T make ’em like they used to folks!
I totally forgot that there was yet ANOTHER Hellboy film in production, after the last installment of the Neil Marshall (The Descent/Dog Soldiers) ginormous letdown film from 2019-which was so bad I couldn’t even finish it. We now today get the brand new trailer for the Hellboy: The Crooked Man and it really sort of leaves me scratching my damn head. Who though it’d be a good idea to try this YET again? We’ve got the director of ‘Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance’ (2011), both ‘Crank’ films and the pretty fun Nicholas Cage film ‘Mom and Dad’ (2017). As much as I’m a fan of the Hellboy/BPRD Mignola-verse in the comic books this new trailer (based on one of his classic comic book stories) leaves me feeling really empty. We’ve got a yet another new actor in the role that sort of at this point looks and feels to me a bit like a bad cosplayer at Comic Con IMO here…
It feels really cheap to me and just maybe that’ll make this thing a bit better? A smaller more personal story? Still it looks at least, in this new trailer to have some pretty flimsy CGI on display like the last horrendous chapter unfortunately. Plus it feels honestly generic as fuck. I’m sure this will have to be an improvement to some degree over that last load of shit, but I’m really getting a “fan film” vibe here. I’m sort of a bit perplexed, but also still holding out hope for a more authentic comic adaptation version of one of my favorites from Mignola. Part of me wanted the 3rd installment of the Del Toro franchise, which is frankly a WAY different vibe from the classic comic. Still tho, I do love those two films and find them both highly enjoyable. “The Crooked Man” here has me feeling confused, wondering who exactly this is for at this point? Nothing about it looks interesting in this teaser. Does it have the feel at least of Mignola’s vision? HELL no, it looks like a flaming turd but I’m willing to go in with bells on and hope to be proven wrong- What do you think?
So the time has finally come, I just officially released my 1989 teen horror film on VHS, a co-release with Black VVideo. This little 34 minute film was a huge part of my teenage years growing up in The Fox Valley, Wisconsin and I’ve had the film on a lone VHS for 35 years. So I finally edited the original footage, and even grabbed a camcorder last summer and filmed a some bonus footage to tie the narrative as tightly together as I could. So now it’s come full circle after all these years, it’s really a time capsule of teenage life in the midwest during the tail end of the 1980s. It tells the story of two “nerds” who are transformed into supernatural killers and exact revenge upon a gang of fellow bully classmates who’d finally pushed the bloody envelope way too far.
I’m pumped to add this to the catalogue of SOV horror films and the small gang of backyard teen films of the 1980s officially. So the VHS is out and can be found right HERE to purchase or you can check it out right now on the new U-Dork YouTube channel if you don’t have a working VCR.
Either way it’s a little accomplishment I’m quite proud to share with everyone after all these years-The Boy’s Night Out has arisen from the muck of the toxic pond waters of Wisconsin’s most wretched rock quarries and haunted forests! Check it out!!
Greetings to all you lilted Hulkamaniacs!! We’ve got a brand new episode of Universal Dork on YouTube up now & today we’re covering 1991 Sci-Fi action comedy family friendly-ish cult classic starring Hulk Hogan, Christopher Lloyd, The Undertaker and Shelley Duvall: muthafukin’ SUBURBAN COMMANDO!!!
We just knew that you didn’t get enough of Hulk Hogan’s sexy-ass bod with the last episode of NO HOLDS BARRED (1989) so we decided to go even deeper into Hogan’s Movie career with this awesome under appreciated buddy comedy. You get some slapstick comedy, some intergalactic space battles, mime abuse, a pretty rad looking alien monster for Hogan to fight as well as a debatable brawl with The Undertaker and so much more! Check it out right HERE:
The NEW Defenders were a pretty awesome era of the team with a totally sweet line up and one of the team’s best member’s GARGOYLE! I say that here we have one of Marvel’s most METAL covers, 1984’s issue #136. We see a wild sort of thrash metal style satanic themed masterpiece featuring a pentagram glowing while Gargoyle’s brain fries! What a great simple but utterly breathtaking cover by Frank Cirocco that could have been easily used by a band like Slayer in the 80s!!
Ok so Deadpool 3 is apparently ALL the rage, cuz we get Hugh Jackman as Wolverine once again but in the classic, fan demanded YELLOW costume. O-M-G!! Its finally happening…well I’m not impressed people! Ok he’s got a yellow and blu kevlar suit on…ok. Where is the fucking MASK?! You know what I’m talking about, THIS:
So yeah the ‘DEADPOOL 3’ trailer looks as if it’s going to be pretty fun little time. I’m sure it’s going to be a BIG hit, that is if people don’t have what they claim is “superhero fatigue”. I think honestly the bulk of the superhero stuff that has come out in the last 4-5 years though has just been pretty terrible, it’s not “superhero fatigue” it’s just shitty filmmaking plain and simple. I’m not a huge Ryan Reynolds fan and hence not as enamored with the Deadpool films as most but I’m certain I’m going to be excited to see Jackman return to the role of Wolverine. However, where the fuck is his god damn mask?!!
He’d better not be walking’ around maskless the entire time, or this is a wasted effort here to try and bait us with his “authentic” “classic” yellow costume. And hey can we lay off the whole kevlar look already? Most of these costumes look more like military outfitting than superhero uniforms. I’m the biggest fan of his brown, tan & black suit personally. It’s a classy much less offensive to the eyes look than his blue and yellow duds. But yeah as far as the whole “he’s wearing the suit” hype I’m NOT buying it until I see a fucking mask on Jackman’s head. We’ve seen Hugh in the role long enough, we’ve seen his face enough-PUT ON THE GOD DAMN MASK! ‘Nuff said……
So just recently I rewatched The Exorcist III, which IMO is the perfect sequel to the original not to mention that its directed AND written by William Peter Blatty the creator/author of the original book. So to me the Exorcist story really ends with the 1990 sequel which should have just been the Exorcist II in my opinion. If you’ve still not seen the third installment of the movie I highly suggest picking up the blu ray that was released recently. It’s going to give you far more enjoyment than anything David Gordon Green can do with the dying franchise. Speaking of ‘ The Exorcist: Believer’, the other night I finally decided to check It out as I noticed it was streaming on Amazon Prime. I’d recently had a few people actually recommend THAT movie to me and said it was actually awesome. So I decided reluctantly to take the plunge. Unfortunately I’m gonna have to go with the popular opinion on the film: it was indeed sucked. For a franchise that they spent 400 million dollars on, giving the director of ‘Halloween Ends’ and ‘The Pineapple Express’ the keys to The Exorcist was just a major blunder.
‘Believer’ was like a bland two hour streaming show. It was serviceable, very generic and it was indeed Exorcist “content”. It was timid, slightly boring, uninspired and not the least bit shocking. We got two little possessed girls, instead of one (WOW!!!). One of them even looked like Regan. I can’t remember too much of anything about it a few days later but I can remember the shocking scenes from the original AND part III. The Exorcist: Believer is a watered down, spade and neutered version of a true sequel.
It’s yet another “who cares” version of a rocky retro horror franchise with a bad extended track record already, that’s gotten even more tired over the years. What sort of new “exorcism” story would anyone really care about? I think Linda Blair would be a good start, giving her a real role rather than a lame cameo might be the best way to go here. Keeping David Gordon Green away from the project too is a really good idea & I don’t think that anymore wants a yet another retread of the first movie.
Looking back what made The Exorcist III work so well (even though at the time it wasn’t a huge box office success) is that it had its own unique story going on and felt very removed from the first movie while still maintaining a common thread of connection from Blatty’s novel ‘Legion’. Honestly regarding The Exorcist new franchise, they completely blew it with that last movie and at this point trying to come up with some sort of “sequel” to THAT story would be one of the worst ideas possible-no one gives a shit about that story continuing. I’d say you’ve got to get Linda Blair back in the role of Regan, give her a very compelling role and then be willing to let her star in a film that pushes the boundaries in a shocking new way like the original had done when people saw it for the first time. What if for example there was a “mass possession” phenomenon occurring in the world and it was getting worse? Linda Blair could be a hero in the film OR it’s main protagonist as perhaps she’s the catalyst-becoming possessed and unchecked-what would that look like if an Exorcist didn’t get to her early on? Anyway, the only problem is with all of these committees and studio executives that know nothing about what people really want, they would likely never allow that to happen anymore. Too many bad cooks in the kitchen it seems today.
Something with the wildly controversial content of the first film would never be allowed to be made in a major studio these days. So unless the next installment of The Exorcist franchise is ready to go the ultimate distance and shock audiences with a fresh new vision involving original star Linda Blair, then I’d say they should really just shelve this thing for another decade. ‘Believer’ was obviously NEVER going to be anywhere close to the original or Exorcist III & I don’t think they’ve got what it takes to make a sequel on the level of Friedkin/Blatty’s original material. I say let the Exorcist DIE but $400,000,000 obviously says we’ll be getting more of this bull shit whether we like it or not….
I sat down a few nights ago to give a rewatch to my recently re-acquired VHS “Enemy Territory” a rad movie back from the 1980’s (when you might have been able to really get people pumped about another Ghostbusters flick!). It’s star power being the man who made the Ghostbusters theme song a bonafide hit back in 1984- Ray Parker Jr.!! I just had to take moment on my new U-Dork Youtube channel to give it my full attention and to make the case why this flick needs a hot and fancy blu ray!
It’s a race for survival as Ray Parker Jr. kicks some serious gang ass while trying to make it from the top floor to “safety” on the streets. It’s a serious ton of 80’s fun, a true lost gem! Seek this one out and check out why I say you gotta take a trip into “enemy territory”!
Hey I’m probably the only one here who was a fan of one of Marvel Comic’s weirdest heroes: Brother Voodoo! I’m not quite sure if this hero is even a thing today, I’m sure he’s considered a racial stereotype, but I’ve always viewed him as the black Doctor Strange & always thought he was a great offbeat character more centered in the Marvel’s horror stories. More likely to be seen with Man-Thing than say Captain America, so I’ve always seen a lot of potential for him to be a break out star, especially now when the internet is so focused on identity and race. They could bypass The whole alias of Brother Voodoo as he’s got a pretty great real name, Jericho Drumm.
Here’s a cool vintage Brother Voodoo cover, the first one is a more modern makeover from Bruce Timm and the second is the original. If I was still a fan of the current Marvel stuff or the MCU (which I gave up on totally) I’d say he’s got true potential in 2024!! OG cover from John Romita way back from 1973!
An 80’s teen sex comedy centered around a recovering alcoholic Leprechaun who lives in a beer bottle & grants three shoddy wishes to high school students with raging hormones?! You’d better believe it! ‘GETTING LUCKY’ from 1989 delivers the goods and is one of the weirdest wildest of the genre..Getting Lucky brings the gold from the other side of the rainbow straight to the MOVIE MELT PODCAST’S Latest Episode , this movie actually has some pretty interesting but moronic comedic timing and at least one surprisingly excellent special fx sequence unlike anything you’ve EVER seen before I can guarantee that!
So I’ve always been a fan of those raunchy teen comedies but one with a pathetic leprechaun at it’s core helping nerd get laid is a first. So if you’re feeling like gambling and tryin’ your luck here you’re bound to find the gold on the latest episode of MOVIE MELT! We discuss so much more low brow cinema here to and recommend you the best of some of the strangest most stupid flick’s for the next movie nite. Check it out right HERE! And if you wanna check out one of the film’s BEST musical numbers before hand & dare to lose a few brain cells listen to “Hole in One” a song that should’ve been on the pop charts back in the day:
Universal Dork 