Here’s a true classic comic that’s always been a favorite of mine since I was just a kid-I’ve always adored the cover too, it shows one of The Incredible Hulk’s fiercest villains as a major threat to ol’ Jade Jaws.
The Incredible Hulk #209 has got another perfect cover from Ed Hannigan & Frank Giacoia, featuring Crusher Creel dwarfing The Hulk as he puts him in a stranglehold. It makes me miss those old Hulk stories in a big way and the issue features the two in one of their best battles.
Sometimes I miss the simplicity of comic books from the 70’s & 80s, maybe it’s just nostalgia because I took this comic book with me everywhere I went, like it was an action figure or something. The Absorbing Man is most definitely one of my favorite bad guys in Hulk’s rogue gallery and this was my first intro to the character, the inside drawn by all time BEST Hulk artist Sal Buscema proves once again just why he was the man for the job for soooo many years.
This issue way back from 1977 will always hold a special place in my heart! It’s cover in particular is a potent look at one of the coolest villains of the green goliath….
Moronic demons vs. Moronic humans! Who will win this epic battle you might wonder? Well if you check out 2004’s ‘Demons at the Door’ you’re gonna find out that answer real quickly while also likely lowering your IQ level from severe brain damage by simply observing this incredibly WTF movie. That’s not to say it’s not a damn good time though- It’s just gotta be seen to be believed. I was lucky to watch it for an impressive bad movie nite-paired it up with an equally trashy ridiculous heavy metal infused thriller from 2001 we reviewed here a while back called ‘Turbulence 3: Heavy Metal‘. Highly recommend the duo for a real night of mental cinematic destruction!
‘Demons at the Door’ is really a product of this time filmed in 2001 and later released in 2004, you can see all of the influences worn pretty openly on its sleeves. Director Roy Knyrim, an effects artist who worked on movies like the Abyss, Toxic Avenger II, A Nightmare on Elm Street 3, Auntie Lee’s Meat Pies- really goes the distance here. With the gooey practical effects in full force but also paired with some of the shittiest, pathetic visual special effects I’ve seen maybe….ever? Somehow though it adds to the general charm of the movie making it easily one of the most mind numbing pieces of enjoyable trash I’ve seen in quite some time. That’s a compliment too-this one’s bad to the damn BONE but perfect for a midnight movie.
I knew after seeing his 2006 film ‘Cemetery Gates‘ (starring none other than Reggie Banister of ‘Phantasm’ fame) I knew I just had to give another movie of his a shot and I’m certainly glad I did. I found this weirdo monster movie on an ultra cheapo bargain bin DVD collection I’d had for a while of ten Z-grade horror films called ‘Urban Chillz’ and connected the dots. Now I’ve got to be honest, I’m quite curious about what other ridiculous gems might also be lurking on that 2 disc collection?
The premise: a group of military archeologist bone-heads in the deserts of the Middle East become trapped inside their lab after an incredibly idiotic encounter with an extremist (obviously post 911 paranoia) triggers a gate from hell to open outside, leaving, you guessed it demons at the damn door! The demons are after some ancient amulet or something and really amped up on hurling the crassest insults at anyone they come into contact with. Unfortunately for them they’re not the brightest bulbs in the depths of Hell.
From this opening “action” scene it’s quite clear you’re in for some really absurdly executed fight sequences as well as full on numb-nut characters. Both the humans and demon alike are the ultimate low IQ adversaries and for the most trying to play it all pretty straight aside from some clearly dated one liners-equally spouted by both parties. The demons at one point declare they’ve “fucked the Blair Witch” so we know they’re real clever guys and up on the current trends of the time.
The cast is made up of quite a motley crew, a couple of meathead ripped commandos, a hot badass archeologist along with her super smart doctor dad and an angel who looks like Lou Ferrigno’s brother who dresses in leather S&M gear. They square off with these seriously dicey demons and their truly foul mouths. These demons try their damndest to get under the crew’s skin in the vein of Linda Blair in The Exorcist except 1000 times more annoying and unconvincing. These demons are racist, sexist, homophobic and also complete dipshits that are in desperate need a good ass kicking’ in the worst way.
They’re created by way of some pretty impressive (yet stupid looking rubber suits/puppetry) old school practical effects and there’s a lot on display here to enjoy for creature fanatics. They’re big, gross and full of green slime that’s just waiting to ooze and spurt geysers of blood. One of the demons is even portrayed by Richard Elfman and is one of the most annoying movie monsters put to film-you’ll seriously wanna bust his chops as soon as his mouth starts a flappin’.
Spoiler alert-there’s plenty of demon ball busting to bring down the house and the whole affair is quite a spectacle to behold. With a quick run time of just over 80 minutes it’s a short and sweet little creature feature/demon romp that’s also got quite the soundtrack-it’s jam packed with Insane Clown Posse tunes, spilling with “Juggalo juice” some might even say! Apparently the director also directed an ICP video as well as their 2006 horror anthology film ‘Chronicles of the Dark Carnival’.
Lastly I’ve just gotta report that the final act of this film is one of the biggest WTF finales I’ve ever seen-you WILL lose brain cells after viewing it-and I’m NOT trying to be funny. I think you’ve just got to see it for yourself to really believe it. I’m now a bit of a Roy Knyrim fan and just got to track down his other films in hopes they’re as entertaining as Demon’s at the Door and Cemetery Gates-it’s quite a tall order indeed. This one is destined to be a cult favorite, the whole thing is currently on Youtube or you can track down that weird ass Urban Chills dvd! Be ready for some of the worst CGI ever put to film and one of the most idiotically entertaining horror movies of the early 2000s…..someone clean this up for a sweet blu ray pleeez!
Here’s a funny IMDB review, it features one of the actors who played a demon in the film check out his insight: “Forgive Me, for I knew not what I did. Yup, thats me under tons of rubber and goo. Shot on one long day in North Hollywood in front of a green screen, I played, the Demon, at The door. Thats my Blair Witch line, uttered with as much emotion as I could, fed to Me by the director himself. Under that 10 pound rubber mask, I huffed and I puffed and howled, because the contact lenses of the original make up design were unwearable. I got paid nothing, so I’m still proud of what was done. You get what Your paid for here. I did a favor for a friend and never heard from said friend again. Hope He’s O.K. What a shock to see it at a Highland Park Blockbuster several years later, actually release on the unsuspecting public. Sheeeesh!!!”
So who knew Molly Ringwald starred in a full on supernatural slasher film in the year 2000? Not me-until recently I discovered the clever Australian Y2K horror movie ‘CUT’ that’s actually a pretty sweet nasty lil’ forgotten gem. Taking a few cues from ‘Scream’ but adding it’s own unique flair by joining the ranks of the ghostly “cursed movie” horror sub genre ‘Cut’ brings plenty of action and chills to the party.
Molly Ringwald was the biggest selling point here for me, even though I went into it expecting a total stinker, I was pleasantly surprised how much fun ‘Cut’ actually turns out to be. I’d also expected her role to be more of a cameo, but to my surprise Molly co-stars and looks just as cute as she did somehow way back in The Breakfast Club. But we also get a sweet cameo from pop icon Kylie Minogue to kick off the movie’s opening in a sort of “Drew Barrymore ala Scream” style sequence.
It starts off in the late 80s with Ringwald starring as a teen in a B-horror flick who’s slasher goes on a real life offscreen killing spree, halting production on the film altogether. The movie gets a reputation of being “cursed” and over a decade later a group of college film students attempt to finish the film when they come across the original unfinished footage. Of course they reach out to Ringwald to re-join the cast and against her better judgement she reluctantly agrees.
She flies all the way over to Australiaand gives it a go while almost immediately, strange things begin to happen on set. Most notably the original film’s killer gets busy murdering once again behind the scenes off set and soon the whole cast begins to suspect something sinister is brewing. The villain here has got a somewhat generic but still solidly effective creepy look, lifting heavily from Carpenter’s Halloween.
I’d have preferred something a bit more ambitious appearance-wise but even so the slasher here is nasty enough to rise to above into his own and really gets the bloody juices flowing with some pretty gnarly kills. The whole affair looks great on film and the Director Kimble Rendall (who was part of iconic 80s alt rock band Hoodoo Gurus) brings a ton of charm to it all with a cast of pretty likable characters as well as some genuinely well crafted horror scenarios to munch on.
The film also wins big points with me when it inserts a supernatural twist with the cursed film stock which can be used in interesting ways to combat the ghostly killer. Ringwald goes the distance too and is clearly having a good time as she squares off with her “movie nemesis” in a game of cat and mouse with a little help from the Aussie film students. This one’s a real treat, especially if you’re an 80’s John Hughes fan-it’s so strange to see Molly in this type of essentially forgotten, oddball Australian horror production as well as Kylie Minogue in a brief but sweet appearance.
Even stranger yet is how ambitious ‘Cut’ turns out to be, filled with cool practical effects & a creepy little fast paced story filled with some campy twists and turns. I’m curious if this one was a minor hit in Australia? The VHS copy of CUT doesn’t sell the film very well with it’s (imo) poorly constructed cover art, if I hadn’t seen Ringwald’s name on the cover I’d have never even bothered. I enjoyed this enough that I quickly upgraded to the blu ray (from Umbrella) which does have better looking packaging as well a slick looking print of the film-‘Cut’ really was a nice little spooky surprise that I’m certain fans of classic 80’s and 90’s slashers (and Molly Ringwald!) will likely enjoy. It’s got some good scares, babes, hunks and the right killer supernatural moves to quench the thirst of lovers of the genre. It’s definitely a top notch Y2K slasher that is in desperate need of a bigger cult following outside of the land down under….
After all these years I never knew that Full Houses’ John Stamos was actually an underrated 1980’s action star?! The proof is in the pudding with 1986’s incredible over the top action extravaganza ‘Never Too Young To Die’. This is one of those rare movies that really left me perplexed, just how it slipped through the cracks all these years? But that makes it even more fun to view for the very first time in modern times!
So not only does this movie feature John Stamos and all of his hunky glory but also features the mega hot pop star Vanity AND hard rockin’ tongue flingin’ Gene Simmons of KISS as one of the most bizarre cinematic villains. Aside from an incredible cast of colorful characters we also get a heavy dose of wild 80’s explosive action sequences as well as a pretty unforgettable sex scene that just needs to be seen to be believed. Yeah the steamy sex scene is one of the best I’ve ever seen put to film and easily one of the funniest, involving Vanity at her hottest, Stamos at his most ridiculously stubborn and an…….apple?!
Whoever came up with the whole sequence deserves an award and just in general this movie is an absolute blast that deserves a bigger cult audience. After a highly skilled secret agent is murdered, his son, who’s a hotshot high-school gymnast, teams up with his father’s super sexy female partner to stop a psychopathic trans-cult leader who had him murdered.
Gene Simmons tears it up in the role as the vicious villain who plans a major terrorist attack on the country’s water supply. Equipped with a killer middle finger nail, his signature gross tongue and some truly over the top outfits, Simmons fully commits to the role too. He steals the show as big baddie “Velvet Von Ragnor” and even performs a “cool” little musical number in the process. I forgot he played the villain a couple other times in the 80’s, the Tom Selleck sci-fi actioner ‘Runaways’ and again in the Rutger Hauer killer thriller ‘Wanted Dead or Alive’.
‘Never to Young To Die’ is easily his wildest role and who’d have ever thought we’d see Stamos and Simmons square off in an 80’s flick?! Also included in a minor role is Robert “Freddy Kruger” Englund who was a pleasant surprise to the cast. I’d say one of the film’s highlights are the villains in general-Simmons’ cult of evil post apocalyptic punks are a pure joy to behold.
They’re so damn over the top in fashion and attitude, making the movie’s mayhem that much more awesome with every little outrageous twist and turn. Stamos also shines using his “skills” as a gymnast as a “Gymkata light” style teenage action hero who teams up with his wacky roommate, a hi-IQ inventor of weird weapons to take on the villains. Then of course there’s Vanity in maybe my favorite movie role, a bad ass assassin who Stamos has a major boner for. Filled with everything that’s totally awesome about the 1980’s ‘Too Young To Die’ is a major winner in every way. Thankfully Shout Factory put out a super sweet blu ray that’s a must for retro action fans of the era!
Yowza!! There’s been a surge of Alien/UFO related stories in the news lately, the big one right now is the whistleblower who claims the US Government is in possession of 13 alien crafts. Not to be an asshole or anything but we have basically known this for years, since Roswell-however people thought it was all “tinfoil hat” talk. It’s all a big conspiracy theory claims the mainstream media. But how long can a secret like this all really be kept from humanity?
I’ve been wondering just when the aliens are finally going to reveal themselves to the citizens of planet Earth and that may have just happened a couple days ago?! Certainly this is quite an interesting story, some think the events are purely coincidence but I’m hoping there’s something more extraordinary at hand here. Check out this news story from yesterday and let me know what YOU think is going on here:
I’m really liking the sound of things, 8-10 feet tall beings?! Sounds right up my alley, though I guess it’s easy to say if they’re not right outside my window in my back yard. Still, I can’t help but wonder why no one in this family grabbed their phone and filmed the gigantic beings?! I mean people film their breakfast, lunch and dinner and post it online so why would no one film the aliens and their vehicle that crashed in the back yard? Seems a bit suspect? I was hoping for a “Signs” momentcaptured on film here-but still, the story on it’s own is pretty intriguing I must admit. I’m keeping my eyes peeled in the skies and we’ll see just how courageous I am if I encounter some 10 foot tall creatures in the dead of night right? Well then there’s this story if you missed it:
What is with all of this alien/UFO/UAP talk the last few years? A bigger Gov’t agenda or the whole truth finally coming out? There’s been a lot of interesting ideas around as well these days about regular humans can actually contact and communicate with extraterrestrials, one of the most interesting practices is the CE5 protocol which uses meditation to make direct contact. I’ve tried it and though I wasn’t successful it sure was a fun thing to do on a camping trip.
I’m hoping in my lifetime we’ll make a breakthrough as humans and connect with another species of beings from another world. It’s time for the planet to get a serious wake up call-and I think that the reveal of a new more intelligent life form could possibly put humans on a more interestingpath than scrolling on Instagram or Tik Tok for most of out waking hours. Let’s look to the sky and take a break from our phone addiction-we may be missing the bigger picture unfolding right in front of us…
Bill Sienkiewicz did it again! Yes this time likely in 5 minutes or less! I’m going to be honest, I’ve never seen this comic book cover until a few days ago but now my curiosity level is through the roof on this 3-part Spidey adventure way back from 1987. Sienkiewicz never disappoints and these three covers are proof- the first one here really does seem like it was likely something he threw together in a few minutes, and it’s still fucking brilliant! Check out the first two covers, it looks like he spent more time on those obviously. This story took place inside of the Kingpin’s insane asylum-and Bill conveys the madness with pure perfection…
The latest episode of the Movie Melt podcast is a special one, especially for all of you “cheeseheads” out there-We cover the third Fangoria Films bizarro teen mad scientist monster flick ‘SEVERED TIES’ from 1992! This mostly forgotten gem was filmed in my home state of Wisconsin, way up north in my old stomping grounds-Rhinelander! WTF right? Why in the world would they choose the small town northwoods area to film NOT just Severed Ties but ALL three of their first feature films up there?!
Well the story is truly intriguing and on this episode we bring on special FX artist and native northern Wisconsinite Hank Carlson to tell his wild story of Windsor Lake Studios, the team behind ‘Hellraiser’ who decided to set up shop there. Hank fills us in on how as a small town teen with an unlikely dream of cracking into the biz as a make up artist, he somehow lands his dream job in the late 80s!
We get the scoop on horror history in the making and discuss ‘Severed Ties’ in all of it’s gooey glory! Plus a Wisconsin themed Battle of the bands in this ALL things Wisconsin horror movie mash up..
Who says dreams can’t come true?! Tune in RIGHT HERE to check out the episode and delve head on into one of the strangest horror films of the 1990’s: a practical fx creature feature that’s in desperate need of a fancy blu ray release and a devoted cult following…
Here’s a sweet alternate Incredible Hulk cover from Brazil’s O Incrivel HULK #50-an interesting version of the American issue #297 shown below. I’m not quite sure why they redrew the cover? At least the top half appears to be a more “Sal Buscema” take on the green goliath? It’s the first time I’ve ever seen this, but it’s a real treat and it makes me wonder if there are other alternate versions of classic Hulk issues?
The original cover from 1984 again features the Incredible art from Bill Sienkiewicz, this was a real sweet era of The Hulk as he slowly loses his “Banner Hulk” persona and further transforms into a truly “mindless” monster. I miss the feel of these 80s Hulk comic books-they were truly a blast-all over the world! Which one do you prefer?
Reggie Banister of “Phantasm fame” is one of my favorite horror heroes-hands down! The horror franchise is my all time favorite of the genre, Reggie is one of the main reasons why it resonates with me so hard. What I’ve noticed though is Reg really doesn’t take center stage in any other movies I can think of, it’s usually just brief cameos in things like ‘Bubba Ho-tep’ or even ‘Kenny & Company’. Well that’s what I was led to believe but low and behold through the Netflix “red envelope” dvd mailer program (that’s sadly coming to an end soon), I received a movie from queue that’d been sitting there for years! The 2004 (or 2006?) horror flick CEMETERY GATES finally arrived in the mail, I really had quite low expectations and quickly noticed Reggie Banister was appearing, I figured he’d likely be doing another “horror cameo” in a low budget production. Well I couldn’t have been more wrong!
I was pleasantly surprised, Reggie is one of the main characters in this one & better yet even the movie is somehow a total gem-a gore soaked, practical fx creature feature with heart and a heroic dose of humor while also a somewhat intriguing story at play. Yeah I was expecting a steamin’ load of shit and what I got was one of my new favorites of the 2000’s horror movies. It’s filled with a cast of fun characters, many of which are total boneheads, which make this little gnarly flick even more of a blast. It’s the story of an escaped lab animal-a giant mutated Tasmanian devil named “Precious” who goes on a muderous rampage in the countryside when set loose by some numbskull animal rights activists.
The lab Precious came from is owned by……Reggie Banister, a seasoned scientist who’s sad about his son moving out on his own. His son an aspiring horror filmmaker is heading out to the country with his horny numb nut buddies to film a zombie film, little does he know his childhood now mutated “pet” Precious (who was experimented on) is running wild in the vicinity.
Precious though is not the only threat, there’s some horny braindead hillbillies, who look like the perfect lunch for a tasmanian devil, also raising hell. Reggie and his sexy scientist buddy soon discover the missing creature and set out to the countryside to try and track it down before it goes completely bonkers on the local population.
Cemetery Gates has got a lot going for it, Reggie pretty awesome in it and there’s a certain bit of idiotic charm to his relationship with his son AND his son’s relationship with the former lab pet turned mutant. It’s also a load of fun to see all these utterly moronic characters get ripped to shreds by Precious. We’ve got the idiotic hillbillies, some middle aged stoners, Richard Elfman as an insane fisherman, the bonehead amateur actors and a few random hikers that suffer the brunt of the gore. The fun is really had when we see Precious in the flesh on it’s killing spree. She tears limbs, decapitates and rips apart a ton of people all in gloriously gooey practical fx and real onscreen “blood” galore. The creature looks pretty damn good too in that sorta 1980s style monster mayhem.
It’s so absurdly charming looking in the flesh and when the final confrontation goes down with Precious it becomes a “family affair’. Reggie, his son, his girlfriend and Reggie’s hot lab partner go all in on taking down the mutated ‘taz in a dark subterranean lair beneath a cemetery. There’s some real heart here at it’s core that sincerely shines through all of the moronic antics that occur and I really appreciate the entire fiasco.
It to me, hits all the right beats, finally another film essentially featuring Reggie front and center to love. He’s here in all of his hair dyed glory to kick some monster booty once again & who’d have thought it’d be again in the mid 2000’s? There’s some good atmosphere and plenty of mischief for Reggie & co to get into as well. If this thing had been released in the 80s it’d be a bonafide cult classic. I’ve NEVER heard anyone speak a peep about Cemetery Gates, so I’m taking it to my platform to get the damn word out.
It’s the perfect midnight movie to rock with some starving cinemaniacs-they may doubt it’s merit by it’s cover but chances are it’ll quench any gorehounds thirst as well as tickle their funny bone. Cemetery Gates is true 2000’s cult classic in the wings….
The end of an era will soon be upon us, the red envelope Netflix “dvd by mail” system will finally come to an end later this year. Sigh…..It’s a bit depressing, I had a lot of fun awaiting these mini movie packages for soooo many years. Truth be told I discovered some truly unique lil’ hidden gems over the years as their dvd selection was once a wildly vast treasure trove…so here in honor I’m gonna blog weekly about my all time faves. The first being 1993’s DARKNESS: The Vampire Version-which I just got delivered for a second time. The dvd online is quite rare and fetches a pretty penny on eBay!
So here’s a really unique movie that still remains in their library- ‘Darkness’ is a cool little vampire movie with a cast completely made of what looks like no one over twenty years old. Leif Jonker the director was apparently only 17 when he started conceptually with the production and started filming in 1988, wrapping it up in 1991. He filmed it on super 8 and the whole affair is a mega blood drenched teenage nightmare in the best way possible.
Jonker doesn’t play for laughs here either which is refreshing, it’s all played as straight as it can be with machetes, chainsaws and teen vamps that sadly have no fangs! But alas, it’s a bit of marvel to behold just how ambitious this little splatter flick really is for a gang of ravenous teen punks who set out to shock their audience and for the most part do a bang up job at it all.
Darkness is filled with some legit action, suspense, blood, guts and some great attempts at serious acting. Even though the “vampires” feel more like a rabid gang of cannibals they still show their supernatural side while succumbing to the more traditional vampire trappings. Sunlight and holy water in particular. One sequence where the main characters a being chased through a river by vampires and a bottle of holy water is poured into the water causing some cool carnage as it mixes and destroys them is a real inventive highlight.
It’s a race to the sunrise as a cast of teens are chased across the countryside fleeing from blood thirsty vamps. There’s not more much to the plot honestly, but It’s so damn charming that Jonker went the full distance on it’s production it really doesn’t need to have an intricate story. The finale is well Wirth the wait to, as there’s an over abundance of exploding heads, melting flesh and crudely animatronic decrepit vampire’s to watch meet their gnarly demise. Sadly Jonker didn’t go on to put out much more-the only thing officially listed on Letterboxd is a short film from 1983 called ‘Ghost Carol’ described as a “Super 8 short about a ghost that kills a group of teenagers at Christmastime”. It’s a 22 minute horror film I need to find a way to see!
Supposedly Arrow video will be giving this a fancy blu release sometime in the future? It looked like it was supposed to come out a few years back, the trailer below is from four years ago. If it ever sees the “light of day”(no pun intended) I’ll be picking up a copy for sure. In the meantime if you’ve still got the red Netflix envelope system intact (at least until it ends later this year) put this bloody little nugget in your “queue” and get ready to rock! One of my favorite weird back catalog Netflix dvd finds-especially first time seeing it years back…..
Universal Dork 