Category: Sci Fi
VHS Verdict: 80’s ‘Flesheaters from Outer Space’ Invade New Jersey!
Some ‘shot on video’ horror flicks can be a real challenge to get through in my opinion. I always give an “A for effort” but let’s face it, shooting a feature film on a camcorder in the late 1980s doesn’t always equal a real memorable viewing experience. However I can firmly say that if you’re in the mood for some highly ambitious, enjoyable trash that ‘Flesheaters From Outer Space’ all the way back from 1989 surely delivers the damn goods!
It’s actually got quite an ambitious little plot going on for something made on a shoe string budget. Somehow director, Warren F. Disbrow, manages to for the most part pull it off while slipping in some heavy metal Jersey hunks and babes as well as gore a ‘plenty along the way. As you can probably imagine the New Jersey area in this Nifty little horror film is a delight to visit and of course features a carnivorous space alien on the loose causing havoc major around around every seedy corner in town. The film goes in a lot of strange directions particularly having a hard time settling on one particular plot narrative to follow. It features a hunky heavy metal band, a woman with psychic powers, a “John Rambo” type drifter as well as an offshoot serial killer storyline trying to interweave into it as well. But all that aside this is really a movie to turn your brain off too becuz ‘Flesheaters from Outer Space’ also really manages to cram in some pretty gory and gooey C-grade monster affects as well for horror hounds to chomp on. Yeah there’s plenty of the red stuff flowing freely here, and a whole motley cadre of numbskulls for this hungry alien creature to munch on.
But it’s not all just horror here, there’s plenty of boobs, butts (men and women), wild 1980s parties, teenage drama and even some unexpected romance as well as a couple musical numbers by a pretty “impressive” glam rock band that’s slightly over stays it’s welcome in the best ways possible. I guess in a way it has a sort of “low-rent x files” type of thing going on as well, at around 90 minutes though it sure does oddly begin to feel it’s run time being much longer than it actually is. However I can’t say in this case it’s a particularly bad thing because this movie never gets boring-it’s is a pretty excellent party flick to enjoy with your friends and a couple of beers. That’s most definitely the best way to view this one. I think it’s likely because the movie goes in so many stupid directions that you feel like you’re getting an overload of ridiculous subplots and without spoiling it all it has one of those relatively abrupt but satisfying endings.
There’s also some pretty cool little twists that you probably will never see coming-I mean it’s no Alfred Hitchcock but it really tries to deliver you the goods and I’ve always got to appreciate the ambition the director had for his shot on video vision. Apparently they filmed a sequel for this in 1998 called ‘Invasion for Flesh and Blood’.
I’m gonna have to seek that out for sure and see if the lighting strikes twice. I see that Troma released this on a double feature disc-but back in the day it was released on video by In the meantime I’m looking forward to checking out the sequel. If you’re looking for something stupid to watch with friends on a Saturday night then this one’s sure to scratch your “so bad it’s good” movie itch. It’s really got it all and you can’t help but find the charm in a movie that really tries it’s best to go for the gold….Oh and there’s no trailer for this one online but there is for the sequel:
The Most EPIC Saturday Morning Cartoon Intros of ALL Time!
There have been some real excellent classic cartoon intros, especially from the 80s, some of these are quite leap in quality above what we actually see in the cartoon animation. I recently took another good look at what I consider the BEST animated intro of all time-The Thundercats from 1985! I had all the action figures, was a HUGE fan but even as a kid back then I was able to recognize just how special that classic opening was-It blew my damn MIND and STILL does to this today…
It’s likely got a high frame per second rate, attention to shadows/detail and those rad neon colorful light fx that were just too time consuming when animating an entire series! Here’s a reminder of what I’m talking about-clearly this trailer reminds me of something that could’ve appeared in ‘Heavy Metal’. Here’s a new 8k restoration:
But lets not forget the sibling Thundercats cartoon shows from the same animators the Silverhawks opening was pretty much JUST as epic! Check this out once again to be reminded of how amazing the opening from this show was too!
See a similarity? Then there’s The Tigersharks which again is from the same team-this one is almost as great as the aforementioned ‘toons! Tigersharks was one a LOT of people have also forgotten all about-here it is, the intro also made by the same peeps behind Thundercats & Silverhawks:
And let’s NOT forget the epic opening to the Galaxy Rangers from 1986-plus again another totally killer theme song!
As a bonus I added the 1988 X-men pilot, largely forgotten by fans of the 1990s series. This 80s version though is totally top notch too, in fact the full pilot episode’s animation is pretty consistently incredible-all of the into footage is from the ACTUAL episode:
Honorable mention the largely forgotten Mighty Orbots intro!
Also season 2 of The Transformers was pretty epic as well and a step above most of their other intros..
One thing I believe these all have in common are that they were animated by a Japanese production team-I’ll update this one with more info on that-but for now I simply ask, do you think there’s a BETTER animated opening intro sequence than any of these from cartoons largely made for American audiences?! I challenge you!
Monster “Home Appliance Horror” from 1980s Japan: BATTLE HEATER!
There’s been some weirdo horror films out there that feature home appliances that go crazy-movies like ‘The Refrigerator’, ‘Death Bed’ and ‘Pulse’ to name a few but I’ve never seen anything quite like the Japanese creature feature BATTLE HEATER from 1989….
I’d never heard a peep about this until about a week ago, but this little slice of late 80s oddball cinema is essentially a monster movie, with some pretty clever comedy, punk rock and a cast of memorable eccentric characters that keep the party raging until it’s crazy finale. Right from the opening it’s clear you’re in for something quite special, the movie’s title appears onscreen as some sort of UFO/meteorite crashing to the ground and knocking a bad ass samurai style “Ghostbuster” straight into space.
That’s just the start as the story then follows two kooky electronics repairmen who grab a possessed “kotatsu”, a low wooden table frame, underneath is a heat source, built into the table itself. Yes, the table is an evil force to be reckoned with (a possessed appliance!) and one of the repairmen takes it home with him to his super stylin’, spooky apartment complex. The setting is most definitely one of my favorite things about this one, without the creature aspect the building itself looks like one giant haunted maze-with some really interesting decor in it’s lobby and dark hallways that really add to the film’s general uncanny tone.
Here things begin to go off the rails as our hero’s neighbors are all quite mysterious characters in their own right. On one side of his apartment he’s got a murderous couple, who’re trying dispose of the body parts of one of their most recent kills and on the other a wild rockabilly punk rock band with a serious attitude problem to contend with. Slowly this “possessed” heater begins to develop a mind of his own and a serious appetite. It begins to resemble something straight out of 1982’s ‘The Thing’ as it develops tentacles and slimy jaws of death and begins to venture out into the apartment building to feast on unsuspecting victims. The practical fx here are really quite well done and by the finale it’s a gooey visual feast on the eyes. The whole thing is quite as ambitious as it ludicrous.
I really like this era of film, the late 80’s have just the right touch (great monster effects devoid of CGI) and seeing this bizzaro horror comedy’s wild plot unfold onscreen is a real treat. It isn’t all a total farce either, though there’s a few obvious call backs to classic horror films, ‘Battle Heater’ has some great memorable and equally likable characters, even some romance and a madcap plot that’s truly unlike anything I’ve seen before.
As a HUGE fan of monster movies I’d say this is easily one of my favorite recent discoveries-it hits all the right beats for me with enough quirky charm, 80s Japanese fashion, manic energy and a final act that ramps up the craziness in the most unexpected and glorious ways. Things take some pretty ridiculous twists and turns as the table heater grows in size and our bumbling electronics repairmen have to rise to the occasion to survive the monster as well as their creepy neighbors.
The whole thing looks beautiful too, filmed with impressive spooky foggy atmosphere, great creepy detailed sets and some sweet Japanese punk numbers to liven things things up. It’s a straight up horror comedy but also has some stakes as well a few frightening sequences- director George lida has crafted some other unique horror films of note, the likes of Cyclops (1987), Spiral (1998) & Another Heaven (2000). ‘Battle Heater’ however really delivers the spectacle in that classic late 80’s vibe and makes me so damn curious about just what other gems from Japan are still awaiting for me to discover? In the meantime I highly recommend this largely forgotten piece of truly 1980s horror. I got the copy pictured above from Far East Flix-most definitely a fun website to browse!
Are Real Life Aliens Finally Invading Planet Earth in 2023?!
Yowza!! There’s been a surge of Alien/UFO related stories in the news lately, the big one right now is the whistleblower who claims the US Government is in possession of 13 alien crafts. Not to be an asshole or anything but we have basically known this for years, since Roswell-however people thought it was all “tinfoil hat” talk. It’s all a big conspiracy theory claims the mainstream media. But how long can a secret like this all really be kept from humanity?
I’ve been wondering just when the aliens are finally going to reveal themselves to the citizens of planet Earth and that may have just happened a couple days ago?! Certainly this is quite an interesting story, some think the events are purely coincidence but I’m hoping there’s something more extraordinary at hand here. Check out this news story from yesterday and let me know what YOU think is going on here:
I’m really liking the sound of things, 8-10 feet tall beings?! Sounds right up my alley, though I guess it’s easy to say if they’re not right outside my window in my back yard. Still, I can’t help but wonder why no one in this family grabbed their phone and filmed the gigantic beings?! I mean people film their breakfast, lunch and dinner and post it online so why would no one film the aliens and their vehicle that crashed in the back yard? Seems a bit suspect? I was hoping for a “Signs” moment captured on film here-but still, the story on it’s own is pretty intriguing I must admit. I’m keeping my eyes peeled in the skies and we’ll see just how courageous I am if I encounter some 10 foot tall creatures in the dead of night right? Well then there’s this story if you missed it:
What is with all of this alien/UFO/UAP talk the last few years? A bigger Gov’t agenda or the whole truth finally coming out? There’s been a lot of interesting ideas around as well these days about regular humans can actually contact and communicate with extraterrestrials, one of the most interesting practices is the CE5 protocol which uses meditation to make direct contact. I’ve tried it and though I wasn’t successful it sure was a fun thing to do on a camping trip.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zY8t5ElhTZ8
I’m hoping in my lifetime we’ll make a breakthrough as humans and connect with another species of beings from another world. It’s time for the planet to get a serious wake up call-and I think that the reveal of a new more intelligent life form could possibly put humans on a more interesting path than scrolling on Instagram or Tik Tok for most of out waking hours. Let’s look to the sky and take a break from our phone addiction-we may be missing the bigger picture unfolding right in front of us…
MOVIE MELT Podcast Covers Fangoria’s 1992 Northern Wisconsin Creature Feature: SEVERED TIES!
The latest episode of the Movie Melt podcast is a special one, especially for all of you “cheeseheads” out there-We cover the third Fangoria Films bizarro teen mad scientist monster flick ‘SEVERED TIES’ from 1992! This mostly forgotten gem was filmed in my home state of Wisconsin, way up north in my old stomping grounds-Rhinelander! WTF right? Why in the world would they choose the small town northwoods area to film NOT just Severed Ties but ALL three of their first feature films up there?!
Well the story is truly intriguing and on this episode we bring on special FX artist and native northern Wisconsinite Hank Carlson to tell his wild story of Windsor Lake Studios, the team behind ‘Hellraiser’ who decided to set up shop there. Hank fills us in on how as a small town teen with an unlikely dream of cracking into the biz as a make up artist, he somehow lands his dream job in the late 80s!
We get the scoop on horror history in the making and discuss ‘Severed Ties’ in all of it’s gooey glory! Plus a Wisconsin themed Battle of the bands in this ALL things Wisconsin horror movie mash up..
Who says dreams can’t come true?! Tune in RIGHT HERE to check out the episode and delve head on into one of the strangest horror films of the 1990’s: a practical fx creature feature that’s in desperate need of a fancy blu ray release and a devoted cult following…
The Best of Netflix DVD: Reggie Banister Enters the CEMETERY GATES!!
Reggie Banister of “Phantasm fame” is one of my favorite horror heroes-hands down! The horror franchise is my all time favorite of the genre, Reggie is one of the main reasons why it resonates with me so hard. What I’ve noticed though is Reg really doesn’t take center stage in any other movies I can think of, it’s usually just brief cameos in things like ‘Bubba Ho-tep’ or even ‘Kenny & Company’. Well that’s what I was led to believe but low and behold through the Netflix “red envelope” dvd mailer program (that’s sadly coming to an end soon), I received a movie from queue that’d been sitting there for years! The 2004 (or 2006?) horror flick CEMETERY GATES finally arrived in the mail, I really had quite low expectations and quickly noticed Reggie Banister was appearing, I figured he’d likely be doing another “horror cameo” in a low budget production. Well I couldn’t have been more wrong!
I was pleasantly surprised, Reggie is one of the main characters in this one & better yet even the movie is somehow a total gem-a gore soaked, practical fx creature feature with heart and a heroic dose of humor while also a somewhat intriguing story at play. Yeah I was expecting a steamin’ load of shit and what I got was one of my new favorites of the 2000’s horror movies. It’s filled with a cast of fun characters, many of which are total boneheads, which make this little gnarly flick even more of a blast. It’s the story of an escaped lab animal-a giant mutated Tasmanian devil named “Precious” who goes on a muderous rampage in the countryside when set loose by some numbskull animal rights activists.
The lab Precious came from is owned by……Reggie Banister, a seasoned scientist who’s sad about his son moving out on his own. His son an aspiring horror filmmaker is heading out to the country with his horny numb nut buddies to film a zombie film, little does he know his childhood now mutated “pet” Precious (who was experimented on) is running wild in the vicinity.
Precious though is not the only threat, there’s some horny braindead hillbillies, who look like the perfect lunch for a tasmanian devil, also raising hell. Reggie and his sexy scientist buddy soon discover the missing creature and set out to the countryside to try and track it down before it goes completely bonkers on the local population.
Cemetery Gates has got a lot going for it, Reggie pretty awesome in it and there’s a certain bit of idiotic charm to his relationship with his son AND his son’s relationship with the former lab pet turned mutant. It’s also a load of fun to see all these utterly moronic characters get ripped to shreds by Precious. We’ve got the idiotic hillbillies, some middle aged stoners, Richard Elfman as an insane fisherman, the bonehead amateur actors and a few random hikers that suffer the brunt of the gore. The fun is really had when we see Precious in the flesh on it’s killing spree. She tears limbs, decapitates and rips apart a ton of people all in gloriously gooey practical fx and real onscreen “blood” galore. The creature looks pretty damn good too in that sorta 1980s style monster mayhem.
It’s so absurdly charming looking in the flesh and when the final confrontation goes down with Precious it becomes a “family affair’. Reggie, his son, his girlfriend and Reggie’s hot lab partner go all in on taking down the mutated ‘taz in a dark subterranean lair beneath a cemetery. There’s some real heart here at it’s core that sincerely shines through all of the moronic antics that occur and I really appreciate the entire fiasco.
It to me, hits all the right beats, finally another film essentially featuring Reggie front and center to love. He’s here in all of his hair dyed glory to kick some monster booty once again & who’d have thought it’d be again in the mid 2000’s? There’s some good atmosphere and plenty of mischief for Reggie & co to get into as well. If this thing had been released in the 80s it’d be a bonafide cult classic. I’ve NEVER heard anyone speak a peep about Cemetery Gates, so I’m taking it to my platform to get the damn word out.
It’s the perfect midnight movie to rock with some starving cinemaniacs-they may doubt it’s merit by it’s cover but chances are it’ll quench any gorehounds thirst as well as tickle their funny bone. Cemetery Gates is true 2000’s cult classic in the wings….
The MOVIE MELT Podcast’s Wildly Erotic Appointment with DR. CALIGARI!
It’s quite an interesting appointment when you’re set to pay a visit to a brand new new doctor & this week on the MOVIE MELT podcast we got one helluva check up by checking out 1989’s wildly erotic horror flick DR. CALIGARI! A bizarre nightmare from the director of the legendary plot centric-porno ‘Cafe Flesh’, Stephen Sayadian comes this equally strange dive into complete madness!
Yes! ‘Doctor Caligari’ is most definitely a weird one, an erotically gross dreamlike voyage into an insane asylum led by the daughter of the legendary 1920’s mad practitioner! There’s some serious problems when people become human guinea pigs of sultry doc as she performs experiments on patients with the most extreme shock therapies and hormone treatments. the results are quite shocking in this avante garde slice of madness. It’s filled to the brim with neon sets, strange creatures, human sized tongues, babes, hunks, scarecrow hand-jobs and lots of nonsensical plot points that will drive you absolutely NUTS!
Also on this episode is a “best of” battle of the bands, featuring the most idiotic musical numbers and artists to grace the damn internet-listen to the stupidest songs duke it out for the ultimate prize-MOVIE MELT’s seal of approval. Plus we discuss some cool movies we think you’ve just gotta see and so much MORE including a discussion on deepfake penises!
Grab a case of beer, get cozy and ready for the good times to roll as we plunge into the weird ass cinematic world of DR. CALIGARI on the latest episode of MOVIE MELT!
Needs to be BLU: Brigitte Neilson’s 90s Sci-Fi Ass Kicker GALAXIS!
Today I’m starting a new series on U-Dork called “Needs to be Blu” Where I’m going to start documenting all of the movies that I’ve seen that most desperately need a fancy ass blu ray release! There are still some real gems out there that just aren’t getting the attention they deserve, are out of print on dvd or have only EVER been released on VHS format.
Today my recommendation to all those fancy labels out there like Vinegar Syndrome, Culture Shock, Arrow video, Visual Vengeance etc is Brigitte Nielsen’s sci-fi actioner GALAXIS aka Terminal Force released in 1994. Brigitte Nielson stars as a inter-galactic space babe who kicks a lot of ass coming across like Dolph Lundgren’s lady action counterpart. Check it out:
I wish she’d have had more cheesy roles like this(I’ve got to check out BODY COUNT still), she’s such charming presence and iconic femme fatale. In this particular film she really looks the part too, she dwarfs most of the men in height and doesn’t take a lick a shit from a single one of them. It’s a bit of a mix between The Terminator and Highlander and feels like it was shot in the late 1980s. It hits all the right beats for me- the fish out of water, light romance, charmingly idiotic characters, some genuinely fun special fx as well as a good sense of humor throughout. Plus Moll here who’s a great B-movie villain (check out ‘Dungeonmaster’ from 1984 for more proof of that) is of course a lot of fun to watch ham it up!
A cool little sci-fi “run for your life in a big city” adventure where Brigitte is your guide and Richard Moll reprises his “bad guy” role again as a sort of Darth Vader type villain. Top top it all off Sam Raimi even shows up for some of the fun early on and so do some stop motion robots thankfully. Lots of lasers, dark steamy alleys, ridiculous bad guys and of course Nielsen looking all sexy as the amazonian leather clad lead, just legit dumb fun that I’m always all in for.
Aside from Brigitte the co-lead John Brennan plays a charismatic numbskull treasure hunter who’s on the hunt for some strange artifact, one that Brigitte and Moll are on the hunt for as well. Along the way he of course gets mixed up in a boatload of shenanigans that Nielson usually has to solve by kicking someone’s ass.
The lucky guy gets to join forces with Nielson, and the two slowly fall for each other, too bad the evil Moll always seems to arrive before anything can ever really happen for the two! As far as dumb bad guys go too there’s a really over the top mob boss guy played by Fred Asparagus who somehow manages to be a major player in the action all the way up to it’s boiler room style finale. Obviously this is prime cheez, it’s fun, fast paced and largely forgotten- Someone release this on blu ray!
‘CYST’ Brings Back Old School 80’s Gross Out Monster Mayhem!
Where have all the gross out out slimy monster movies disappeared to? Well if you’re in the mood for gallons of ooze, slime and pus you’ve come to the the right place with CYST. A 2020 monster movie that’s largely flown under the radar and brings back all the old style practical fx you might be been missing in 2023.
Set back in the 1960’s at a doctor’s office that specializes in cyst removals, we get the story of an insane practitioner who’s experimenting with a new lazer on patients and their bulging boils. The doctor played by Troll 2’s George Hardy, is really more like a mad scientist who takes pleasure in popping a plethora of enormous pus filled pimples, most of which explode directly onto our main character/heroine Patricia, a nurse who’s had it with the doctor and all of the slimy ooze she’s got to deal with on the daily. She’s put in her notice and it’s her last day on the job. The Doc, flustered about her sudden resignation, takes pleasure in all the pus way too much and he’s hell bent on using this new laser technique on a special patient with a large, ready to burst, boil on his back.
This however triggers the cyst to quickly develop a mind of it’s own-it separates from it’s host and shows it’s true nature-a rapidly growing one eyed monster. This disgusting beastie goes on a rampage and the patients, doctors, nurses and employees are inadvertently trapped inside the building. This begins a fight to the death with the tentacled monster, that looks like a more disgusting creature you might see in a nightmare version of H.R. Puffnstuff or Sigmund the Seamonster.
Cyst is a neat little modern retro creature feature that tries it’s damndest to gross you out with all of the over the top pimple popping pus and blood. However, as gross as that all sounds it’s never very beleivable as all the ooze looks far too cartoonish to ever be taken very seriously. It’s instead plays out like a more disgusting version of Nickelodeon’s ‘You Can’t Do That On Television’. I think with Cyst’s super short run time (69 minutes), it’s black comedy and “try to gross you out” old school monster fx it’d be best described as almost like an excellent lost ‘Tales from the Crypt’ episode. If they ever revive the series they should look to Cyst for inspiration, it’d make for a modern “Crypt” crowd pleaser.
There’s a bit of black humor here too but it’s refreshing that for the most part it’s all played pretty straight. This could have easily devolved into another stupid modern tongue in cheek ‘Troll 2’ style attempt at a “bad” movie. Instead we get a lean old school monster movie with some charming characters and ambitious 80’s style creature and gore fx work here to really amp things up. Cyst is certainly not the greatest modern monster movie but it’s helluva fun ride-best to be absorbed with a gang of horror freaks and some stiff drinks. A pretty damn solid modern midnight movie!
The Original “Ralph Bakshi” Style MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE 1982 Animation?!
The Masters of the Universe were always one of my favorite action figures and animated series of the 1980s! I had soooo many of the toys and watched the show every day after school. The cartoon series was a lot of fun but I always wondered later in life what a darker grittier version of the show might look like?!
A lot of their original artwork had a sort of “Frazzeta/Vallejo” style to it. It looked pretty edgy and dark in that 70’s fantasy style. Here’s a few of my favorite images of the artwork that show the darker fantasy potential to He-man and the Masters of the Universe:
I recently saw this 1982 TV ad, apparently the first commercial of the toyline, it raised my eyebrows a bit. The animation style has a grittier feel and I wonder if this version of it was ever on the table for the animated series? It definitely feels like a bit more time or frames were used for these limited sequences. That’s not to say the animated series didn’t have it’s charm but it does have a lighter feel to it. Check it!
This version almost feels more in line with something like “Fire and Ice”, Ralph Bakshi’s iconic sword and sorcery animated epic. Whatever the case I really love that a glimpse into the darker side of The Masters of the Universe exists even if just in a short animated sequence in an early 80’s toy commercial…..Oh and becuz it rules so hard here’s the Fire & Ice trailer! The guy kinda has a “He-man” vibe to him huh?
Universal Dork 