Category: bad movies
Trapped on VHS: THE KISS (1988) is Sizzling “Sensual” Terror in the ‘BURBS!
Today we’re talkin’ forgotten surburban horror straight from the 1980s, in particular THE KISS from 1988! This cool little Canadian horror film just doesn’t get enough respect and it’s got a lot going for it. Starring the iconic Meredith Salenger as a grieving teen who’s got to protect her family and neighborhood from her evil demonic Aunt Felice – who’s hellbent on seducing her dad, murdering her friends and passing down an ancient curse! As an 80s kid this one was a real treat to have on VHS! That being said I’ve got my fingers crossed this one will soon get the respect it deserves from cult horror fans by way of fancy new blu!
EVOLVER: The Forgotten Killer A.I. Robot of the 90s!!!
Today we talk about sci-fi killer robot teen horror romp EVOLVER! The spiritual sequel IMO to the 1980s evil robot terror of CHOPPING MALL! Yes the director of The House on Sorority Row from 1982 delivers one of the most forgotten and best killer robot flicks of the 90s! EVOLVER is one mean little tin can that captures the best aspects of machine mayhem in this totally def flick from 1995!!!
The Holiday Conspiracy REVEALED: TWO FRONT TEETH (2006)
Right in time for the holidays, check out the dirt on this super underrated flick from 2006 that goes WAY over the top with some WILD Xmas conspiracies-TWO FRONT TEETH! This bizarro little yuletide gem is perfect for fans of SOV, no budget schlock and is quite ambitious in everything it tries to pull off in its mysteriously stupid story! I think it’s well on its way to becoming a bonafide weirdo holiday cult classic! Have you seen this wacky, heartfelt tale of terror before?
WEREWOLVES (2024): My FAVORITE Horror Flick of the YEAR?!
Hey I’m back again with a brand spankin’ new review of the creature feature extravaganza ‘WEREWOLVES’ in theaters right now! Are you a fan of films like The Howling, Dog Soldiers, Full Eclipse or even Predator: 2?! If so I think you’re probably gonna dig ‘Werewolves’ just as much as I did! Practical werewolves brought to you by hands on fx mastermind Alec Gillis who worked on ‘Aliens’ (among so many others) and directed by Steven C. Miller who did a sweet flick called ;The Aggression Scale’ from 2012 I’m a BIG fan of too! check it out!
Has Cobra Kai Become a Karate Kid PARODY?! Plus Will Hilary Swank Join the Season Six FINALE?!
I’m a huge OG Karate Kid fan all the way back from seeing it in 1984!! Here’s my thoughts as an old school fan of the beloved 80’s franchise, now, looking back at SIX seasons of Cobra Kai! PLUS my thoughts on the 1994 controversial film THE NEXT KARATE KID with Hilary Swank and how they must complete the “Miyagi-verse” by putting Julie Pierce in the FINAL episodes of the series!! What do YOU think? I’m curious what fans of the original think of the direction and tone of the series and exactly how you think it might end up!
Thanksgiving themed B-Movie TERRORs: Watch These Forgotten Gems This Holiday!!
It’s THANKSGIVING and you most likely need some totally RAD forgotten B-movie gems to check out on the big TURKEY day and of course Black Friday, if you’re gonna avoid the crowds why not watch some cool weird-o tales of terror that ALL in valve the holiday. Well I’ve got some cool pics compiled right here in my latest U-Dork YouTube vid (Have YOU subscribed yet?!) check it out right here and let me know your favorites for the Thanksgiving season!!
BREATHING FIRE (1991): Ke Huy Quan vs Bolo Yeung?!!
Today I’ve got a brand new YouTube vid about one of my favorite teen action martial arts flicks of the 1990’s or maybe EVER?! Yeah BREATHING FIRE from 1991 has most definitely got ALL the right moves and feature Ke Huy Quan in one of his most outrageous roles of his career by far!
This film has somehow slipped real far under the radar despite it’s countless generic dvd releases over the decades. It also features the villainous icon BOLO Yeung doing what de does best-whooping’ people’s asses!
If you’re a fan of Temple of Doom or The Goonies or Everything Everywhere All at Once you’ve got to check this one out, we cover all things Ke Quan and go deep into the film itself! So get ready for ultimate nostalgia blast and check out our podcast dedicated to Huy and of course the movie I’m most hoping will get a release on blu ray from the likes of Vinegar Syndrome-Breathing Fire! CHECK IT OUT!
HELLBOY is Back?! Does ‘The Crooked Man’ Trailer Deliver the GOODS?!
I totally forgot that there was yet ANOTHER Hellboy film in production, after the last installment of the Neil Marshall (The Descent/Dog Soldiers) ginormous letdown film from 2019-which was so bad I couldn’t even finish it. We now today get the brand new trailer for the Hellboy: The Crooked Man and it really sort of leaves me scratching my damn head. Who though it’d be a good idea to try this YET again? We’ve got the director of ‘Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance’ (2011), both ‘Crank’ films and the pretty fun Nicholas Cage film ‘Mom and Dad’ (2017). As much as I’m a fan of the Hellboy/BPRD Mignola-verse in the comic books this new trailer (based on one of his classic comic book stories) leaves me feeling really empty. We’ve got a yet another new actor in the role that sort of at this point looks and feels to me a bit like a bad cosplayer at Comic Con IMO here…
It feels really cheap to me and just maybe that’ll make this thing a bit better? A smaller more personal story? Still it looks at least, in this new trailer to have some pretty flimsy CGI on display like the last horrendous chapter unfortunately. Plus it feels honestly generic as fuck. I’m sure this will have to be an improvement to some degree over that last load of shit, but I’m really getting a “fan film” vibe here. I’m sort of a bit perplexed, but also still holding out hope for a more authentic comic adaptation version of one of my favorites from Mignola. Part of me wanted the 3rd installment of the Del Toro franchise, which is frankly a WAY different vibe from the classic comic. Still tho, I do love those two films and find them both highly enjoyable. “The Crooked Man” here has me feeling confused, wondering who exactly this is for at this point? Nothing about it looks interesting in this teaser. Does it have the feel at least of Mignola’s vision? HELL no, it looks like a flaming turd but I’m willing to go in with bells on and hope to be proven wrong- What do you think?
SUBURBAN COMMANDO (1991) is the GREATEST Hulk Hogan Film EVER?!
Greetings to all you lilted Hulkamaniacs!! We’ve got a brand new episode of Universal Dork on YouTube up now & today we’re covering 1991 Sci-Fi action comedy family friendly-ish cult classic starring Hulk Hogan, Christopher Lloyd, The Undertaker and Shelley Duvall: muthafukin’ SUBURBAN COMMANDO!!!
We just knew that you didn’t get enough of Hulk Hogan’s sexy-ass bod with the last episode of NO HOLDS BARRED (1989) so we decided to go even deeper into Hogan’s Movie career with this awesome under appreciated buddy comedy. You get some slapstick comedy, some intergalactic space battles, mime abuse, a pretty rad looking alien monster for Hogan to fight as well as a debatable brawl with The Undertaker and so much more! Check it out right HERE:
MOVIE MELT Podcast Returns with Sexy 80s Leprechaun Comedy ‘GETTING LUCKY’!
An 80’s teen sex comedy centered around a recovering alcoholic Leprechaun who lives in a beer bottle & grants three shoddy wishes to high school students with raging hormones?! You’d better believe it! ‘GETTING LUCKY’ from 1989 delivers the goods and is one of the weirdest wildest of the genre..Getting Lucky brings the gold from the other side of the rainbow straight to the MOVIE MELT PODCAST’S Latest Episode , this movie actually has some pretty interesting but moronic comedic timing and at least one surprisingly excellent special fx sequence unlike anything you’ve EVER seen before I can guarantee that!
So I’ve always been a fan of those raunchy teen comedies but one with a pathetic leprechaun at it’s core helping nerd get laid is a first. So if you’re feeling like gambling and tryin’ your luck here you’re bound to find the gold on the latest episode of MOVIE MELT! We discuss so much more low brow cinema here to and recommend you the best of some of the strangest most stupid flick’s for the next movie nite. Check it out right HERE! And if you wanna check out one of the film’s BEST musical numbers before hand & dare to lose a few brain cells listen to “Hole in One” a song that should’ve been on the pop charts back in the day:
Universal Dork 