Tagged: Slasher

Tobe Hooper’s FORGOTTEN Y2K Horror Bangers!

One era you NEVER think of when it comes to TOBE HOOPER’S iconic horror career is the Y2K 2000’s era of his filmography BUT he’s actually made some total bangers during that era and today we’re gonna talk about his largely forgotten slab of horror cinema from that era and in particular 2005’s MORTUARY! A film no one talks about but deserves its place along some of the best of the 2000’s cinematic terrors!

H.R. GIGER’s Forgotten Cybernetic SLASHER flick: FUTURE KILL!

Straight from the video store days of the 1980s we’re talkin’ a bizarre flick that features those oh so irritating Frat Boys coming face to face with a gang of mutant punks in downtown Austin, Texas!! This “trapped on VHS” ridiculously idiotic GEM is in desperate need of a fancy blu ray restoration!


The Greatest KILLER Scarecrow Flick of ALL Time!!

I have to give some major props to the BEST imo EVIL killer scarecrow film of all time, NIGHT OF THE SCARECROW (1995)! This ambitious supernatural slasher really goes the gory distance with its ridiculous characters, top notch special fx & super well done gore. I also have to talk about SCARECROWS (1988) which is also one of the best of the genre, even though some people find it underwhelming and dull-I think it’s a total banger What do you think is the best killer scarecrow flick? Let me know!







Craziest Horror Movie Plot of ALL time: THE JOHNSONS (1992) is a Bizarre Family Affair!

Today we talk about some obscure horror films of the Netherlands and in particular 1992’s THE JOHNSONS! This totally bonkers Dutch horror flick has one of the most convoluted over the top plots of ANY horror film to date! A true forgotten bizarre gem that’s just begging for a sweet blu ray release jam packed with colorful characters, cool fx, piles of garbage, seven killer test tube babies and “menstrual horror” served up only the the way the Dutch can cook it all up!











Thanksgiving themed B-Movie TERRORs: Watch These Forgotten Gems This Holiday!!

It’s THANKSGIVING and you most likely need some totally RAD forgotten B-movie gems to check out on the big TURKEY day and of course Black Friday, if you’re gonna avoid the crowds why not watch some cool weird-o tales of terror that ALL in valve the holiday. Well I’ve got some cool pics compiled right here in my latest U-Dork YouTube vid (Have YOU subscribed yet?!) check it out right here and let me know your favorites for the Thanksgiving season!!

THE BOY’S NIGHT OUT: My 80s Wisconsin Teen Horror Flick on VHS & Youtube!!

So the time has finally come, I just officially released my 1989 teen horror film on VHS, a co-release with Black VVideo. This little 34 minute film was a huge part of my teenage years growing up in The Fox Valley, Wisconsin and I’ve had the film on a lone VHS for 35 years. So I finally edited the original footage, and even grabbed a camcorder last summer and filmed a some bonus footage to tie the narrative as tightly together as I could. So now it’s come full circle after all these years, it’s really a time capsule of teenage life in the midwest during the tail end of the 1980s. It tells the story of two “nerds” who are transformed into supernatural killers and exact revenge upon a gang of fellow bully classmates who’d finally pushed the bloody envelope way too far.

I’m pumped to add this to the catalogue of SOV horror films and the small gang of backyard teen films of the 1980s officially. So the VHS is out and can be found right HERE to purchase or you can check it out right now on the new U-Dork YouTube channel if you don’t have a working VCR.

Either way it’s a little accomplishment I’m quite proud to share with everyone after all these years-The Boy’s Night Out has arisen from the muck of the toxic pond waters of Wisconsin’s most wretched rock quarries and haunted forests! Check it out!!

VHS VERDICT: 1989’s ‘KILLER’ is one HELL of a Wild Low Budget Thrill ride!!

I love it when I see a movie from the 80s that somehow fell through the cracks for me, especially one that delivers the gory goods as hard as 1989’s ‘KILLER!‘ from Tony Elwood!  I got a chance to check out the Electro Video/Lunchmeat VHS facilitated and boy was it a wild damn ride. Essentially more of a thriller than a “slasher” with a very slight “supernatural” edge, ‘Killer!’ is leaps and bounds better than so many similar genre movies with 50 times the budget. That’s what makes this film so damn charming and deserving of a much broader audience with fans of horror cult cinema. ‘Killer’ certainly doesn’t reinvent the wheel but everything it does, it does so well while retaining that 1980s nostalgia of regional films like J.R. Bookwalter’s ‘The Dead Next Door’ or Leif Jonker’s ‘Darkness: The Vampire Version’.

We get the simple story of a killer (Duke Ernsberger) on the loose in a small rural North Carolina community who’s completely deranged and determined to mutilate anyone who stands in his way of his vicious killing spree. Most of the success of it and how it plays out weighs heavily on the shoulders of the villain played quite convincingly by Ernsberger. He brings an intense, disturbing, believable ferocity to the screen that you normally don’t see in films with a budget this minuscule ($8,000). This guy slashes, shoots, rips and beats people down in grim and intense ways and gives no fucks doing so. The practical effects on display here are wickedly bloody & actually pretty believable which really adds to the movie’s punch as it moves at a brisk tense pace and by the third act erupts into total high stakes mayhem.

Somehow this weird little indie film reaches rises to genuinely terrifying levels of horror in its third act when “SPOILERS”: the killer reveals himself as not only a cannibal but delivers one of the most terrifying monologs I’ve maybe ever heard from a horror movie antagonist. The scene is more disturbing than any of the gory deaths that precede it, with only dialogue. It’s incredible how well cleverly constructed writing like this can massively change the vibe of a horror film, transforming into an entirely different beast altogether. The killer plays ‘Russian roulette’ in front of his (soon to be dinner) victim he’s held captive, revealing that no matter how many times he pulls the trigger it will NEVER fire the bullet into his skull. But you might expect this to be some crazy parlor trick, he uses the same gun to suddenly deliver a stunning shot at his captives hopeful rescuers who’re making an attempt to foil his horrific plans.

In the film’s finale it’s anyones guess who’s gonna live or die. As terrifying as this man is, it’s amusing actually how susceptible to pain he is as he wines and squeal while taking a damn beating. Not quite the Michael Meyers type, which is refreshing but leaves the viewer pondering if he’s indeed being guided by evil supernatural forces or merely a delusional defeatable human on a lucky rampage. I give high praises to KILLER and was pretty blown away with it’s effective horror, mystery and action on display. It’s gotten a blu ray release from Terror Vision-so if this sounds like fun to you check it OUT!

 

‘THERE’S SOMETHING IN THE BARN’ Brings Norwegian Elves to the Xmas Party This Year!

Oh how I love those little guys from Norway-the trolls, the gnomes and in this case the ELVES! I was pretty excited for that reason alone to check out this new holiday horror comedy released this season. I’ll be the first to admit since the success of  2015’s excellent Christmas horror film ‘Krampus’ there’s been a heavy influx of pretty shitty films trying to cash in on the “holiday horror” buzz. A Christmas horror film just isn’t quite a special as it once used to be sadly. However every year I give em’ all a try anyway and ‘There’s Something in the Barn’ seemed somewhat promising. It’s setting alone had me intrigued as it’s actually filmed in Norway and as I said earlier features barn elves-though honestly I’d say they’re actually “Gnomes”.

However it did feel a bit familiar once I started the movie as last year there was a Danish Netflix holiday horror series called ‘Elves’ that I really quite enjoyed, that most definitely is worth watch but had a real similar, yet more tonally serious premise. ‘There’s Something in the Barn’ is really first and foremost a comedy and secondly a horror fantasy. 

I was drawn even more to checkin’ it out when I’d heard it also featured Martin Starr, everyones favorite nerd (Feaks & Geeks, Dead Snow 2) in the lead. I love that guy and the “fish out of water” setting for him and his family inheriting an amazing property with a big rustic lot and a creepy barn in a faraway land was all a big plus. So did it quench that holiday horror thirst? Well it’s definitely NO “Krampus”, but it’s quite a bit more fun than the average Christmas horror they’ve been pumping out the last almost 9 years.

The comedy here is pretty standard family stuff, it’s not a gut busting affair but really today is anything really that funny anymore? It plays the comedy pretty safe and straight as I think it could’ve benefitted far more with sharper script writing and probably the story in general to be honest. It’s a sort of mash-up of E.T. meets Gremlins, heavy on the holiday vibes, slight family drama and a finale that’s finally beefs up the horror.

There is indeed “something in the barn”, a cute lil’ Norwegian elf, that not unlike the Gremlins has some “rules” that need to be adhered to keep it happy. Of course this family of ninnies are as about as clueless as they come of course. There’s a young boy who befriends the gnome with some cookies and that’s about as deep as their “strong” friendship bond gets-I think they needed to explore their connection to really flesh out the story for it’s rather exciting finale. The characters in general are pretty paper thin sadly and really could’ve been developed in a way that’d made us care a bit more if they were victims of severely pissed off ravenous little barn elves.

So don’t go in expecting this to go too deep as it still tries to tug at the viewers hearts with not enough heart at it’s core. But enough about that, because we’re really all here for the elves right?! I’m happy to report that indeed the elves are pretty great, using real little people, great make up fx and some convincing Norwegian style to their look. Once the “friendship” ends between the family and the elf, things get pretty exhilarating for an action packed bloody battle with even some “political commentary” thrown in somehow.

There’s snowmobiles, explosions, caves, secret rooms, heavy drinkin’ and lots of cool lookin’ little maniacs who’re hellbent on fucking things up for the American family, who thinks that they can do whatever the hell they want on foreign soil. There are a couple scenes of excessively bad green screening going on here that sort of took me out of what was a pretty sweet final battle-making me wonder why they’d resort to a chintzy looking fx sequence rather than doing something more organic? Overall though this flick is definitely worth a watch this year, it’s pretty fun as long you’re not expecting the next “staple” holiday horror film and it’s got enough going on that it never drags. The setting of Norway during Christmas time is worth the price of admission alone-I’d say you could do MUCH worse this year than ‘There’s Something in the Barn’, do a double feature and watch this first with ‘Krampus’, ‘Gremlins’, ‘Violent Night’, Deadly Games’ or Rare Exports as the headliner!

 

‘DIE HARD’ This Christmas?! I Say Watch ‘TURBULENCE’ From 1997 Instead!!

What to watch this Christmas season?! People seem to always talk about DIE HARD as being the “go to” holiday action thriller to watch during the holidays but this year I checked out a movie that’s WAY more Christmas vibes than the Bruce Willis jam-1997’s TURBULENCE has eluded me for WAY too long. I’m not quite sure why  I waited so long to see this one I guess I thought it was some stupid action movie but it’s so much more. I have seen turbulence 3 heavy metal and that was a ton of stupid fun so I guess I sort of figured that the first movie must have something interesting to offer at least? Recently I read a synopsis of the first turbulence and found out that it took place on Christmas. Of course I was immediately intrigued and had to dig deeper. So a couple nights ago I decided to go there finally & am quite pleased to say that this one delivers the shit on pretty much every damn level. Something I really wasn’t expecting was a new holiday classic. But hey, that’s exactly what I think Turbulence is for this holiday!

 First off let me say that the film’s main plot was nothing like what I’d expected it to be for all of these years- Comparing ‘Turbulence’ simply to being “Die Hard on a 757” would simply be an injustice. Turbulence is just as much an action movie as it is a slasher film as it is a Christmas film! Checks all three boxes and we’ve got a winner here.  The first thing I was pleased to notice is just how prominently the Christmas holiday is displayed front and center in it, yeah it bleeds holiday charm from nearly every shot in the most rewarding ways.

So if you’re a holiday fanatic looking for a reason to throw this movie on you just simply have very excuse to do rightly do so. There are Christmas trees everywhere, holiday decorations hanging from every house and then even the plane that it takes place on is SO draped in holiday decor it’s almost at times too much (if that’s even possible?!). There’s Christmas music playing, there’s ‘It’s a Wonderful Life’ being shown on the plane as its featured movie- this film’s about as holiday themed as they come. It’s the story of a man who seemingly framed by the police being tied to a string of serial killings on Christmas Eve.

Ray Liotta, stars as the man taken captive by the cops and quickly transported on a nearly empty 757 jumbo jet airliner during the holidays-What could go wrong right? Even adding more to it’s charm, it also stars the love interest from ‘Dumb and Dumber’ Lauren Holly and Andy Barclay’s mother from ‘Childs Play’ Catherine hicks as flight attendants on this wild ride in the sky filled with you guessed… it some dangerous turbulence and serial killer!

So even though it REALLY delivered the heavy holiday vibes it also played out out much more like a horror film, (SPOILERS) with Ray Lotta going “full unhinged psycho” in the best way possible. It’s actually got some strong slasher elements, just set on an out of control plane on Christmas Eve.

It’s a really fun concept and there’s some pretty great atmosphere here to soak up, as well as some pretty sweet totally tense action sequences. Liotta really shines here to, hamming it up as the movie’s likely wronged “protagonist” who I thought was destined for onscreen redemption (and maybe some romance?) with a great ridiculous plot twist that suddenly shifted things into the horror thriller genre on the dime.

The huge plane is the perfect place for a square off with a psycho high up in the sky-having plenty of creepy Christmasy corridors to run and hide to during a tense game of cat and mouse. A somewhat super stupid but thrilling little roller coaster ride that’s a perfect holiday party film too. There’s not a dull moment in sight and frankly I’m not surprised this spawned a couple sequels, I’d just never realized how full throttle “Christmas” themed this one actually was and how well it crosses over into the horror aspect of things-even supplying an awesome “final girl” to take on a total maniac on a jumbo jet. I really dug ‘Turbulence’ and it was a pleasure seeing for the first time during the holiday season! This year if you’ve never seen it I’d say it’s a must if you’re looking for a relatively seldom talked about horror thriller that’s got the holiday spirit in FULL effect!!

The BOY’S NIGHT OUT Trailer & STRANGE TAPES Strange Show!!

We’re getting ready to release THE BOY’S NIGHT OUT soon, a 1989 no budget- supernatural horror- slasher film I made way back when with my friends that I recently finally edited into a more “cohesive story” with all of the raw footage-It only took 34 years!! Filmed back in my native state of Wisconsin, the movie was shot in and around The Fox Valley and features cheese-head horror the way it was meant to be-80s style!!

It will be a co-release of my new VHS label ‘Hollywood Babylon Home Video’ and the super cool ‘Black VVideo‘, who has several awesome releases under her belt already. She appeared on The ‘Strange Tapes Strange Show’ just a few days ago to chat about The Boy’s Night Out and more releases COMING SOON! Check this shit out:

Here’s what the hell this little flick is all about:‘ The Boys Night Out’ follows a gang of mischievous highschool bullies whose plans to “eliminate” two nerds during the final weekend of summer takes a dark unexpected turn when the deeds turn deadly. One is brought to a secluded rock quarry where a chemical spill has poisoned the pond waters and the other is left for dead in a local “haunted forest” were ghostly whispers of evil have been rumoured for decades.

Can these misguided teenage miscreants survive to see their junior year of high school begin on Monday? Or will they fall prey to the vengeful supernatural forces they’ve somehow awoken? It’s anyone’s guess in this coming of age tale of betrayal, murder, retribution and most of all horror- Straight out of the late ’80s from “America’s Dairyland”. The lost SOV film from the Fox Valley gets it most frightening revival, rescued from out of VHS obscurity! Here without further ado is the brand spankin’ new official trailer!

There you have it-a time Midwestern time capsule, that is not only a shot on video horror relic but also a look into life way back in 1989 Wisconsin! More details coming soon, but in the meantime get your VCR out of the attic-because The Boy’s Night Out is headed your way on VHS!!!