Tagged: review

Real Life Scooby Doo!? Saturday Morning Massacre!

I have just read a review for “Saturday Morning Massacre” at Ain’t It Cool and it’s mighty clear they thought it was one of the coolest movies around! Basically the premise is that of a real life Scooby Doo adventure, two male and two female mystery hunters and their dog cruise the countryside in their vintage van in search of things that go bump in the night! Only after solving countless mysteries they come to the conclusion that ghosts and monsters really don’t exist, that is until they venture into one creepy old mansion. There they come face to face with pure evil and their ghost busting skills are put to the ultimate test!

Sounds pretty rad to me and they so far described it as equal parts comedy and true horror. So naturally I hunted down the trailer to see what all the hype is about and found the trailer to be a little bland. What do you think? This movie premieres in LA later this month but otherwise has no release date. I hope it lives up to the Aintitcool hype-meter!

Moonrise Kingdom: Easily One of the Best of 2012!!

I saw Moonrise Kingdom this weekend, the latest from Wes Anderson, is easily one of the BEST movies I have seen this year and in my opinion the best yet from him. It packs an awesome star studded cast, Bruce Willis, Edward Norton, Frances Mcdormand & Bill Murray but though they all deliver hilarious performances the true star of the movie is Jared Gilman, the misunderstood run away khaki cub scout.

I have found most of Anderson’s films comedic, but in this one in particular had me laughing out loud for pretty much the whole movie. It seems Anderson has been changing his game a little bit with his last couple movies. Switching the tone a bit with Fantastic Mr Fox and now with Moonrise Kingdom we’ve no longer got a movie about a bunch of rich confused siblings at odds with their parents, I mean isn’t that pretty much what all of his movies are about? Well this time we’ve got the love story about two runaway twelve year olds, set back in 1965 as their families and cub scout troop set off to find the odd pair on a beautiful tucked away location in Rhode Island. The two share a special bond that only they seem to really understand. To put it into perspective Jared Gilman’s character simply warns his new twelve year old beau early on in their adventure that later “he may pee the bed” oh so very nonchalantly.

This movie is Anderson’s most hilarious to date but also it’s a beautiful charming little coming of age tale. It’s filmed as if seen through the eyes of child, visually sensationalized as a normal tree house seems incredibly exaggerated as it towers far too high above the cub scout camp. This one is for everyone, many who’ve felt a bit alienated by his earlier work will truly appreciate everything about this movie. Truly one of the best films of the year…

Give Me My GOOD Hulk Comic Books Back DAMMIT!

I LOVE the Hulk! Let it once again be known! I will prove it right here and now with my new song “Don’t Make Me Angry!” which I wrote about the green goliath and my alter ego Mister Saturday’s gamma radiated adventures together. What? You never heard of Mister Saturday? The intergalactic nerdcore dancehall reggae sensation?

Well believe me I am a big star in the Andromeda Galaxy, Vulcan, Malkor III, Hoth and Naboo. So Earth hasn’t been a huge priority up until recently. Below is the song-however a proper video is in the works and should be filmed by the end of the month!

Lyrics:
Don’t make me angry, lord have mercy, now Mr. Mcgee

Don’t make me angry, you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry

Continue reading

Iron Fist Hits the Small Screen!

I would love to see Iron Fist, Marvel’s resident kung fu expert hit the big time and get a movie made about him with a ton of kick ass over the top martial arts action! However as of right now I don’t think there are any real solid plans to bring Danny Rand into theaters.

If they did though it’d be great to see his old buddy Power-Man or just simply Luke Cage (as he apparently thought his yellow & blue costume and name weren’t cool anymore) in the same movie. There have been a lot of rumours about a Cage movie coming to fruition but without Iron Fist I just don’t think it’d be as cool. Perhaps it’d simply be called Heroes for Hire? In the meantime though we can all try and enjoy this fan made Iron Fist movie,which kinda plays like a real life superhero adventure, I almost expected to see Phoenix Jones pop out and help Rand and Elektra….what do you think of this fan made short? Who would make the perfect Danny Rand in a big screen movie?

Northstar Gets Hitched?! The First Gay Superhero Marriage!

Well not sure if you’ve all been keeping up with The Astonishing X-men lately but one of my favorite characters recently rejoined the team – Alpha Flight’s Northstar. As you all know he is easily the most popular and was the first openly gay superhero. Marvel is seeming to try and make history again with issue #50 of Astonishing X-men as he proposes to his boyfriend Kyle in a Bryant Park in NYC.

The only problem is he gets rejected! Then in the same day it appears that his bf is kidnapped by an evil unseen nemesis the same one we assume that has been controlling The Marauders (yeah the guys from the historic Mutant Massacre of the 80’s are back). Anyway it appears that at the end of the issue Northstar is going to have to take down Wolverine and Gambit as they are now also under the control. But don’t fret everyone because in a rather lame move Marvel has already shown us the cover of issue #51 where we see Northstar & Kyle getting hitched!

An amazing cover with all his buddies from Alpha Flight and the X-men gathered around them. Well all I have to say is it’s about time Northstar! Kudos to Marvel too who to my knowledge will go down in history with the first Gay superhero (who’s actually an awesome character) and now the first Gay Superhero Marriage!

Uninvited: The Ultimate in Domestic House Cat Horror!!

The year was 1988 and it was time to finally bring the family house cat to the forefront of modern TERROR!!!! Yeah watching “Uninvited” for the first time was quite a treat. This is one that will most definitely be making the cut for Bad Movie Night!

The story is simple a shady laboratory is doing some strange experimenting on a cute little orange house cat and have determined that this little fur ball has a weird tumor growing inside of him. However these numb nut doctors accidentally let him escape, it doesn’t take much as the cat strolls out of the lab pretty leisurely while the security team is frantically on it’s trail. This is when we all first get a glimpse of the “univited” early on, this darling little cat has some crazed devil rat cat living inside it’s body. Whenever this cat gets pissed off it crawls out of it’s mouth and gives an ass kicking to anyone who steps in it’s damn way!

Pretty fucking rad huh? Well when you see this little pathetic monster who looks like he’s been swimming in Crisco cooking grease all day you may think otherwise. Every he graces the screen though I guarantee you’ll have a big fat fucking smile on your face. Anyway this cat, who’s constantly meowing without his mouth opening, ends up hopping aboard a yacht owned by a dirty money hungry gangster and a bunch of wise ass hot shot college kids. The year is 1988, that sure is clear in this flick, you get an ultra second rate music score that sounds like it was written by Boy George’s stepbrother’s cousin, impromptu dance parties, skanky 80’s babes who invite strange random dudes on a weekend sea cruise after only meeting them for literally sixty seconds. This sets the stage for an ocean boat ride of sheer idiotic terror!

We’ve got a boatload full of irritating eighties jerk offs and a cute cuddly kitty, who always looks like a completely different cat every time he shows up, with a belly full of evil ready to go ballistic anytime it gets mildly annoyed. Greydon Clark, wrote this movie must have had some serious feline issues as it’s hard to believe this concept was stretched into a full feature length film.

Still when you see the Crisco drenched devil rat cat crawling in and out of the puppet house cat’s mouth again and again it makes this shiny terd of a movie a worthwhile treat. Next time I view it I’ll make sure it’s with a room full of friends and a LOT o’ booze. Don’t miss it as it’s out on a double feature dvd now with another movie called Mutant from 1984 originally called Night Shadows, which I can only hope is as rad as Uninvited….

The Avengers 2 : The Top 5 Avengers to Join the Team!

Everyone is Avengers crazy at the moment and for good reason, the movie was RAD! So I asked the question what’s next for the team? Supposedly another Iron Man, Captain America, Thor, Hulk (though not confirmed) and Nick Fury movie in the works first before we get a second Avengers installment. Personally I think they should skip all the solo films and just start planning the sequel. Do we all wanna wait 5 more years to get another Avengers movie? Not me!

With a second movie we will most definitely get more Avengers! But who will be the new team members? Listen up Marvel because Universal Dork is going to give you the winning choices!! So let’s get started!

1. Giant Man

First I must say this- Why the hell was Hank Pym not in the Avengers movie?!! They should have skipped Hawkeye & Black Widow and given
us Giant Man and The Wasp! I mean how great would it have been to have seen The Hulk battle in NYC from The Ultimates with Giant Man towering above the buildings? This next movie is the perfect opportunity to bring him into the fold!

Casting Choice: Aaron Ekhart

2. The Wasp

Well if we are going to bring in Pym then of course we need The Wasp! These two go hand in hand and their relationship is quite an interesting one. She’s always dealing with Hank’s abusive behavior and if you read the Ultimates you know this would be a great story to tell! When Cap goes after Giant Man after he nearly kills the Wasp with bug spray was easily one of my favorite moments of the series!

Casting Choice: Lucy Liu (Ultimates version)

3. She-Hulk

Aside from being the hottest woman in comic books we have the perfect opportunity to bring in Jennifer Walters and She-Hulk. We already have The Hulk on board so it would be a great story in the next movie to have Ruffalo have to save his cousin with that blood transfusion. Plus who the hell doesn’t want to see a real She-Hulk in the flesh?! In this case I would highly advise NOT CG-ing her. Get a good make up artist and actually digitally enlarge her. All the fan boys wanna see the real thing this time!

Casting Choice: Christina Hendricks

4. The Vision

Yes!! The Vision is easily one of the coolest comic characters ever!!
He’s a staple Avenger, an Android and his wife is a human mutant the Scarlet Witch! I say if they decide to pass on Giant Man and The Wasp then we have to see the messed up story of a woman who falls in love with a robot!!!

Casting Choice: Bret Spiner (Duh! At least Voicing)

5. The Black Panther

Another obvious choice, the king of Wakanda needs to kick some serious ass in this next installment. Recruiting him would be a blast too as The Avengers could travel to his homeland and even get into a scuffle there in the Jungle! The Avengers need a little more color in their team, Nick fury behind the scenes just ain’t enough! T’challa however could be a whole franchise of his own as well…

Casting Choice: Wesley Snipes (if he gets out of prison! Plus he was a good Blade and already expressed interest in playing this charcter)

What do you think??

The Avengers: The Universal Dork’s Verdict!

Well folks here I am with the official scoop on The Avengers. I’m sure most have already either read how awesome this movie is or like me saw it yesterday on opening night!! Well I here by give it the Universal Dork stamped seal of approval! The Avengers delivered the goods more so than I expected. In this day and age I’m highly critical of most things Hollywood serves us up-because it’s usually a bunch of weak ass bullshit! Especially comic book movies these days, they usually kinda suck with the exception of The Dark Knight and if they don’t suck they are heavily flawed. However, put a director behind it who truly cares for the source material and you can get something incredibly mighty. This is the case with The Avengers. It could have been a complete disaster had nearly any other wack ass Hollywood hack director got their grimy little hands on it.

But alas, it was worth the wait for Joss Whedon’s vision. I really never doubted him but I was surprised when the movie exceeded my expectations. Streamlined with a simplistic story, within the first few minutes of the movie know you’re in for a treat. We’ve got a superhero sandwich here and Whedon knows how to serve it up fresh giving us quite possibly the best versions of all of these superheroes to hit the silver screen yet.

The first Iron Man movie was a heck of a good time, Norton’s Incredible Hulk proved to be a bit of a failed experiment the second time around with it’s cheap CG version of the green goliath and The Abomination, Iron Man 2 was instantly forgettable and unnecessary, Thor was passable but once again failed with bad CG, a rather stale lead and story, then finally we got Captain America which to me was the best of the bunch leading Iron Man perhaps only because of Cap’s incredibly interesting back story. The Avengers on the other hand doesn’t feel cheap or rushed. It’s exactly what you hoped it’d be and a little bit more.

We finally get us some Nick Fury in more than just thirty second cameos. Sam Jackson shines as the movie’s glue as he not only forms the team but also manages to get in on the action as well and show us why exactly he’s SHIELD’s main man. The rest of the crew were excellent as well and when they all finally appear together it feels much more special than anything marvel has ever done cinematically. It’s a riot to see them interact and argue like a bunch of unruly teenagers. The screen just doesn’t seem big enough for all of their “super” egos so when they do finally work as a team it’s well worth the trouble getting there.

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The movie never tires, it’s jammed to the brim with action, humor and some great character development. Let’s face it you gotta have some humor when listening to Thor babble or look at Steve Rogers hanging around in his red white and blue duds all day. They are quite a funny bunch of misfits actually. With that all said I think it’s time to give my two cents worth on The Hulk. I never thought I’d say it but I am kinda glad Ed Norton decided to sit this one out. Mark Ruffalo was the best on screen movie Banner yet. He brings a sort of desperation to the film and looming sense of unease as we wait nearly up to the third act before we finally get to see the green guy in action. I think this time around they almost got the Hulk perfect too. Almost. He’s easily the most realistic and convincing Hulk we’ve seen on film. He looks leaps and bounds better than the Norton version, which I recently watched again and just couldn’t get past the wretched CG green giant. This Hulk at least feels like he’s got some weight on him, rather than some flimsy “Roger Rabbit” computer generated cartoon leaping on screen with real actors. You can tell Whedon wanted to get him right this time around. I can’t say it’s my dream “movie Hulk” as you can still tell he’s a purely CG creation but a guy has got to give up at some point, as I have given up and accept that Hollywood has a formula they are sticking to special effects wise and it’s just NOT going to change. So I accept this Hulk if only because of the comparison to my last two movie representations.

Lastly I would like to point out a few things I think could have been better. Though I thought that Loki was a sufficient villain he wasn’t a very interesting one. A bit on the bland side I personally would have rather seen Baron Zemo or The Red Skull return and put together a “Masters of Evil”, just villains that are a little more captivating and frightening. Loki being a bit of an on screen bore didn’t get much help either from the Whedon created Chitauri alien race and personally I would have liked to have seen more of them in the movie as I think they could have put a little more fear into us movie goers hearts as villains. I never really believed that Loki was all that hell bent on the mission at hand. In a second installment I’d love better villains-give us Mister Hyde, Goliath, The Wrecking Crew, Titania and The Absorbing Man!

My only real big problem with the film was actually the Chitauri in the final act of the film. This falls on the fact that our heroes were doing a lot of battle with them in the city and for some reason Whedon decided to CG them entirely. They were roughly the size of an average human so why not have real actors there playing them? It at times looked a bit funny seeing these real actors battling CG aliens in hand to hand combat. I don’t want to spend anymore time on this topic, but hey Joss, just so you know nothing is better than the real thing. If you don’t have to CG it don’t do it. Remember “I am Legend” with Will Smith? Nuff said….

The Avengers regardless exceeded my expectations and put a big smile on my face. Joss Whedon did it and once again it was well worth the wait. Now it’s just a question of what’s next?!

Ok Please…Stop With the Zombie Comedies Already!

I just watched two upcoming “buzzing” zombie comedy movie trailers and I had to take just a moment of your time to say please stop!! Enough!! Please god…stop with the zombie comedies already!!! Better yet just stop with the whole zombie thing altogether! Ok you know we have all seen Evil Dead 2, Dead Alive, Return of the Living Dead, Shaun of the Dead, Zombieland, American Zombie, Fido, Dance of the Dead, Zombies of Mass Destruction, Doghouse, Zombie Strippers, Zombie Honeymoon, Undead, Blah Blah Blah Blah….Jeez! I kinda just want this whole zombie craze to disappear.

Aside from The Walking Dead Comic and TV series (which I am finally getting slightly tired of) this craze needs to die and stay dead at least for ten years or so. People you’re not going to make a better zombie comedy than Shaun of the Dead so please stop trying! Make some other comedy please, I know how much you liked Dead Alive but you know what? The world doesn’t need another one of your goofy unlikely fanboy hero nerd starring zombie comedies-the market is full, overflowing and more dead than punk rock. I wonder am I the only one? Because even the zombie comedies that look kinda good I just don’t care to sit through anymore!

This one here “Juan of the Dead” which is opening at a theater down the street from me just don’t excite me! Really now “Juan of the Dead”? Uggh….

Yeah it doesn’t really look too bad huh? Too bad I was interested in seeing this movie six years ago!!!

Oh and I was on Ain’t It Cool and they had this one written up called “A Little Bit Zombie” a quirky offbeat zombie comedy with the same stupid characters that you saw eight years ago back when these characters were kinda funny actually…Ok so I will admit the poster is pretty cool, but really folks do we really need to waste more time sitting through more shit like this?

Maybe I am crazy but I don’t care how RAD your zombie comedy is I have seen fifty others that were done in the past five years that are better and then before that fifty more back in the 1980’s! Give it a rest!! 😉

The Cabin in the Woods – Go See it NOW!!

It’s no doubt to me that I have seen two of the BEST movies this year at the theater in the span of a week! How often does that happen? Last week I was lucky enough to catch “The Raid: Redemption” which will easily be the best action movie of the year or maybe even the past decade. This Saturday I saw “Cabin in the Woods” and was blown away!

What an awesome original idea for a movie. I know, I know you think it’s just another Evil Dead rip off? Wrong. It’s not at all what I expected, though to say it doesn’t share some similarities with Evil Dead wouldn’t be true. However it’s something truly of it’s own. I did a blog a couple weeks ago about wishing for Hollywood to kick out something original instead of remakes and rehashes. Well this movie is a prime example of what I wished for in every way. A fresh, inventive slice of cinema.

Now I am not going to spoil it for anyone who hasn’t seen it yet. What I can say is that it best that you know as little as possible about this one if you plan to see it. I purposely avoided reading reviews for this before I saw it and it really did make the experience that much better! So stay away from spoilers for as long as you can!

What I will say here is that it’s a comic book, sci fi, horror fan’s wet dream in every way imaginable. It’s a funny, scary, exciting, gory , unique adventure-with some great twists along the way. The effects are brilliant as well, straying as far as possible from CG schlock as it can. Most of the film has a highly organic vibe to it and when there is any CG it’s used only when needed and tastefully at that. We all know that Hemsworth stars in the movie and I can’t help but think they waited strategically to release this movie, as it was made a couple years ago, to cash in on his Avengers/Thor star power. My question is where does The Cabin in the Woods go from here? I can only hope it doesn’t spawn any un-needed sequels and if it does it better have the same creative team of Whedon & Goddard. Personally I think this movie is best left alone as a one shot. It just can’t get any better than this!