Tagged: review

1993’s Kamen Rider Zo: Kicks MAJOR Monster Butt!!

If you’re like me and are totally obsessed with monsters then I’ve  got a great recommendation for you! 1993’s ‘KAMEN RIDER ZO’  Is a short & sweet, bizarre little super hero adventure that packs a monstrous punch to the gut. Clocking in at around 50 minutes, it wastes no time getting to the action and wild special effects sequences that are jam-packed into this little nasty nugget.

I must admit, I’m a bit of a newbie to this character and the fairly extensive lore behind him. Kamen Rider (aka Masked Rider) was established in the early 1970s and has several different iterations through the years. One thing is certain the character is an iconic Japanese superhero and his costume is obviously top notch-This 1993 film too is the perfect intro to the character and so up my alley with all of the crazy monster villains. A bit for me like ‘Guyver 2’ if it had all the clunky exposition trimmed.

That all being said, I’d heard that this was a great place to start and maybe one of the most inventive visually, as well as over the top, action-packed and violent than any of the other installments. Naturally I was thrilled to find out that the director Keita Amemiya is the same person who did one of my all time favorite Japanese action monster movies: ‘Zeiram’ from 1991 and another fave being 1988’s Cyber Ninja.

Also the effects artist being responsible for the totally bonkers fx of another absolute Hong Kong favorite gem of mine ‘The Peacock King’. With this fast paced little adventure you’re going to get all the frenetic action sequences and all of the cool practical fx mayhem jammed packed into “Terminator” style chase film. A group of creatures are hunting down a little boy and it’s up to Kamen Rider to stop them.

That’s all you really need to know, as the version I watched had pretty subpar subtitles & was a bit difficult to follow plot wise to say the least-but who cares! The flick, which was originally planned as a feature film was massively cut down from it’s original vision. That being said it’s almost ALL eye candy and for me it made the perfect warm up for my movie nite where the main even was the glorious 1995 film ‘Godzilla vs. Destroyah’. More on that first watch for me later.

It features some impressive monsters for tour badass grasshopper themed hero to pummel on, one being a sort of “predator” style creature as well as a totally bonkers spider/human hybrid freak with some dazzling stop-motion & also a grotesque bat-man who takes flight to cause everyone major headaches. It’s drenched in style and oozing with great atmosphere as well as a genuine cyberpunk style with dashes of straight up horror.

The fight scenes are quite cleverly choreographed too and the action sequences filled with fine detail are a marvel to behold. The sets and locations aren’t skimped on either, it’s all so colorful to soak in & the kind of film that when it ends you might feel a bit cheated (in a good way mind you) by its swift runtime and craving more monstrous mayhem in its wake.

Bear in mind too, ‘Kamen Rider: Zo’ is not really a kids film either-though there’s not a ton of “human blood” there’s a good amount of goopy monster carnage to relish in. Oh yeah and Kamen Rider cruises around on a rad motorcycle too, usually before he’s ready to beat on some creeps and the main character who plays the masked rider’s alter ego is quite the well dressed hunk!

I give high praises to this largely forgotten little film that probably should have a proper release here in the USA, I got a sweet dvd copy from Taiwan on eBay but you can also check it out on Youtube:

 

Movie Review: J.R. Bookwalter Returns with Gooey Horror Social Satire ‘SIDE EFFECTS MAY VARY’!

Lately I’ve been checking out a bunch of J.R. Bookwalter’s movies that I somehow missed out on over the years, films like ‘Ozone‘ and ‘Robot Ninja” (which I can’t wait to review) as well as recently hooking myself up for a rewatch with the blue ray of his bonafide cult jam- ‘The Dead Next Door‘!  But most interesting is that he’s just released a brand new film after a 20 plus year hiatus. His latest ‘Side Effects May Vary‘ is currently on tour. Yes the director himself has gone on the road to exclusively show this bizarre new film in select indie theaters only, well before it streams anywhere or has any other physical release other than an exclusive VHS (I need one of these!).

However I was able to check this nasty little nugget out early and soak up all the gory goo drenched shenanigans that ensue in this weird little adventure. Basically what we’ve got here going on is a fairly simple story, flashback a couple of years to the height of the latest pandemic when everyone was getting the covid vaccine like it’s a god damn McDonald’s hamburger! We have our main character a mild-mannered middle-aged man named GLENN ROLLINS (um yeah I love that obviously) who just doesn’t wanna get the jab despite pressure from his wife as well as currently being sick as a dog at home. Meanwhile we get a glimpse into what’s going on with the newest safest, state of the art Covid-19 vaccine that’s getting ready to hit the market. It’s set to safely treat the entire population of the planet. So deep inside a secret pharmaceutical research center that’s tucked away in the countryside, we witness a test subject get injected with an unknown substance that immediately causes some, shall we say, interesting reactions to say the least. It seems this new vax does indeed have some intriguing side effects and our main dude Glenn finally gives in to the mounting pressure. Essentially to satisfy his wife by “doing the right thing”, he reluctantly agrees to the latest, safest and MOST utterly effective, state of the art, yet totally experimental covid vaccine at a doctors appointment. This thing is supposedly gonna save the world from the sickness- so what’s the goddamn fuss about already – right?


Initially the thing makes him feel like a million bucks, but soon his normal boring life begins to drastically change – first off his wife immediately finds him more attractive (woohoo!) and feels the urge to get frisky with her hubby. There’s surprisingly plenty of gratuitous nudity here in Bookwalter’s latest (remember what that was back in the 1980s?!) to behold and that’s the first sign that I was seeing something that felt ripped from the “golden era of horror” but also cleverly grounded in modern times. Yeah, let’s be honest here you just don’t really see good nudity like this anymore in current films. There I said it! It was kind of a breath of fresh air as an avid 80s horror fanatic, especially seeing Brinke Stevens playing the nosey neighbor next door watching some genuinely shocking events go down eagerly with her binoculars. Yeah the scream queen who’d spent plenty of time in her “birthday suit” was now on the opposite end of the spectrum in a completely charming little role in this film.

Including her here was a treat  – 1988’s ‘Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama’ is a fave of mine & that reminds me I NEED to see the sequel! Ok though, from this point on things do get pretty perverse, but in that old school low budget, practical effects heavy way that I’ve really missed so damn much over the years. It’s really all quite charming. Not just all the fx work on display-but the general vibe of it. This one might even make a good double feature with something like ‘Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama’. It has that same sort of playfulness and disgusting charm.

Ok, well sadly for Glenn, he does develop a few “side effects” that sort of put the kibosh on his passionate sexy time session, at least for the moment. Confused and most likely humiliated by his sexual performance or lack there of, he races out into the city while his side effects do indeed “vary” in to the next level. This leaves him to encounter a zany cast of colorful characters along the way. He’s also develops a new hobby: SPOILERS: killing people! It’s quite obvious this safe and effective vaccine might’ve caused him a few more problems than the initial covid infection-but hey at least he’s not worried about relapsing with latest current strain I suppose?

Luckily the cops are on the case. One of his pals Jack, a former police officer, teams up with his old boss from the force. They quickly go on the move to find this heavily vaccinated freak of nature as he ventures deep into the night. So yeah, there’s lots to enjoy here not only as a horror film but also equally a social satire that puts a lot of our human behavior during the covid-19 pandemic under the lens of the microscope. The societal pressures to conform, big pharma propaganda, public paranoia, conspiracy theories & general trust in our Gov’t institutions are all addressed. But not in any sort of weird polarizing way. Instead Bookwalter lets the audience forget about the real world stresses of it all & just shows the whole damn thing play out in an entirely entertaining, absurd fashion. Don’t get me wrong, it’s still a courageous effort of dark satirical commentary but it’s also really just a wild little old school splatter flick at heart. The kind of movie Romero might’ve even crafted if he’d still been alive today.

It also pleasantly breaks the usual tropes in sweet yet subtle manner, one of my favorites being the ex-cop character Jack and his boss Chief Tom Danvers. Their rather unique past on the force together, erupting with emotions tied to an intense night off the job at a holiday party is an interesting character study.  I love the way their interactions were handled in response to this unforgettable event at least for one of them. That being said as much as I enjoyed the film-the way it was shot looked maybe a little too crisp. Bare in mind I just recently watched Ozone & Robot Ninja, two bonafide 80’s & 90’s horror classics IMO. So coming into this one the look of it all was a bit shocking coming directly off his older work.

I love the grimy look of ‘shot on video’ stuff and the beauty of shooting a movie like ‘Robot Ninja’ on film. I know, it’s 2024, so to actually shoot on film is expensive and probably pretty annoying BUT Bookwalter fans I know personally really do crave the look of his earlier work. A small criticism, but if ‘Side Effects May Vary’ had been shot in a similar manner I think it’ve been that much more impactful to longtime fans of his productions.

At the end of the day though it’s most definitely a gory little horror character study for the modern times that really pushes the envelope, takes risks and dresses it all up in a bloody, slimy mess of old school oozing practical FX very reminiscent of Bookwalter’s cult classics. An absurd cautionary tale for the polarized pandemic era that we’re hopefully on the other side of-if you dig his earlier flicks check this out with a live audience – likely coming to the big screen in a city near YOU!


 

 

‘THERE’S SOMETHING IN THE BARN’ Brings Norwegian Elves to the Xmas Party This Year!

Oh how I love those little guys from Norway-the trolls, the gnomes and in this case the ELVES! I was pretty excited for that reason alone to check out this new holiday horror comedy released this season. I’ll be the first to admit since the success of  2015’s excellent Christmas horror film ‘Krampus’ there’s been a heavy influx of pretty shitty films trying to cash in on the “holiday horror” buzz. A Christmas horror film just isn’t quite a special as it once used to be sadly. However every year I give em’ all a try anyway and ‘There’s Something in the Barn’ seemed somewhat promising. It’s setting alone had me intrigued as it’s actually filmed in Norway and as I said earlier features barn elves-though honestly I’d say they’re actually “Gnomes”.

However it did feel a bit familiar once I started the movie as last year there was a Danish Netflix holiday horror series called ‘Elves’ that I really quite enjoyed, that most definitely is worth watch but had a real similar, yet more tonally serious premise. ‘There’s Something in the Barn’ is really first and foremost a comedy and secondly a horror fantasy. 

I was drawn even more to checkin’ it out when I’d heard it also featured Martin Starr, everyones favorite nerd (Feaks & Geeks, Dead Snow 2) in the lead. I love that guy and the “fish out of water” setting for him and his family inheriting an amazing property with a big rustic lot and a creepy barn in a faraway land was all a big plus. So did it quench that holiday horror thirst? Well it’s definitely NO “Krampus”, but it’s quite a bit more fun than the average Christmas horror they’ve been pumping out the last almost 9 years.

The comedy here is pretty standard family stuff, it’s not a gut busting affair but really today is anything really that funny anymore? It plays the comedy pretty safe and straight as I think it could’ve benefitted far more with sharper script writing and probably the story in general to be honest. It’s a sort of mash-up of E.T. meets Gremlins, heavy on the holiday vibes, slight family drama and a finale that’s finally beefs up the horror.

There is indeed “something in the barn”, a cute lil’ Norwegian elf, that not unlike the Gremlins has some “rules” that need to be adhered to keep it happy. Of course this family of ninnies are as about as clueless as they come of course. There’s a young boy who befriends the gnome with some cookies and that’s about as deep as their “strong” friendship bond gets-I think they needed to explore their connection to really flesh out the story for it’s rather exciting finale. The characters in general are pretty paper thin sadly and really could’ve been developed in a way that’d made us care a bit more if they were victims of severely pissed off ravenous little barn elves.

So don’t go in expecting this to go too deep as it still tries to tug at the viewers hearts with not enough heart at it’s core. But enough about that, because we’re really all here for the elves right?! I’m happy to report that indeed the elves are pretty great, using real little people, great make up fx and some convincing Norwegian style to their look. Once the “friendship” ends between the family and the elf, things get pretty exhilarating for an action packed bloody battle with even some “political commentary” thrown in somehow.

There’s snowmobiles, explosions, caves, secret rooms, heavy drinkin’ and lots of cool lookin’ little maniacs who’re hellbent on fucking things up for the American family, who thinks that they can do whatever the hell they want on foreign soil. There are a couple scenes of excessively bad green screening going on here that sort of took me out of what was a pretty sweet final battle-making me wonder why they’d resort to a chintzy looking fx sequence rather than doing something more organic? Overall though this flick is definitely worth a watch this year, it’s pretty fun as long you’re not expecting the next “staple” holiday horror film and it’s got enough going on that it never drags. The setting of Norway during Christmas time is worth the price of admission alone-I’d say you could do MUCH worse this year than ‘There’s Something in the Barn’, do a double feature and watch this first with ‘Krampus’, ‘Gremlins’, ‘Violent Night’, Deadly Games’ or Rare Exports as the headliner!

 

Holiday Horrors: ‘TWO FRONT TEETH’ An Ambitiously Stupid, Low Budget Creepy Y2K Christmas Adventure!

I’m trying to track down some weird cinematic Christmas gold this year by finally checking out some films that I’ve sort of avoided for years. Hearing that they’re a complete waste of precious holiday time or just resorting again to my “go to selections” that I often find myself a bit tired of when I pop on the tube as of late. So took a chance on a film that’s been on my radar for years when I spotted it at Portland, Oregon’s most prized video store, Movie Madness. TWO FRONT TEETH, released 2006 (but looks more like it was shot in the 90s?) is a shot on video (digital?) Christmas themed horror film that looks like a heap of cheap trash, is full of bad acting, lots of jokes that don’t work and yet there’s something about it I kinda love! This one was also made before everyone and their mother were pumping out Christmas themed horror films by the dozens every year. So it still stands out as an interesting  largely hidden holiday oddity.

There’s quite a bit to dislike about the film if you’re gonna be really picky, mainly at how badly shot it is-it’s pretty ugly looking with lots of bad lighting, unimpressive sets and terribly bland locations. For instance, the opening scene take place on Christmas Eve in what looks like a cheap manufactured home that’s at the very least got an abundance of holiday decor on display. That’s what sort of saves this one-pretty much every scene is jam packed FULL of Christmas, so as bland as a lot of the sets do look they really give it their all to put the holiday on display. Sometimes obviously overdoing it-but considering the main characters names are Gabe Snow & Noelle it’s quite clear that was the intention here. Pretty much EVERYTHING is Christmas related, but somehow at it’s core has a somewhat “engaging” story that’s part horror, part comedy, part road adventure and even somewhat of a “romantic” drama. It’s a true oddity with a fair amount of heart & passion at it’s core that’s trying damn hard to push a narrative that’s far more ambitious than its budget actually allows. That’s not say though there’s not a lot to be quite impressed with here though somehow.

The plot is a wild one, It’s Christmas Eve and we meet Gabe Snow, a cowardly tabloid writer who’s emotionally traumatized by the holiday for unknown reasons, is investigating a Yuletide conspiracy for a paper called the X-Mas files. Gabe believes that a commercial airplane was brought down on Christmas Eve by a flying reindeer and is determined to bring the truth to the general public. He’s also in the midst of a nasty divorce as his foul mouthed, quite unlikable wife Noelle is banging one of her coworkers that festive evening at their home. But that’s the least of Gabe’s worries. Wicked vampire elves, descend upon his home and nearly murder his wife. This forces him and his wife to head out onto the open road to escape the threat and to find the only one who can seemingly help them, a “Creighton Duke” style bounty hunter who’s got the scoop on the deadly holiday conspiracy.

So as you can see the plot is quite absurd, but not played only just for cheap laughs-though there are plenty of those thrown around. Some of the comedy works and some of it does come off a bit too ham-fisted, again like the writers here think they’re really comedically clever. That being said the bulk of the film is actually played pretty straight for the most part and I think it works in it’s favor, despite most of the time looking like total shit. But being used to watching stuff that most would classify as total shit, I found that to be barely a problem. There’s some interesting backstories thrown in that pack some emotional weight as well that I give props for making attempts at real character development.

The movie never really slows down, at around 74 minutes it’s pretty lean and some of the fx here especially with the vampire elves look surprisingly pretty damn solid. They’re clad in black leather, have real creepy makeup fx with huge fleshy ears & some of their attack sequences are pretty well done too. Plus the “Creighton Cowboy” character is pretty fun addition as well and they definitely try and produce some solid action with him and his “toy guns”.

That’s not all though there are also three ninja nuns that show up as well as a pretty creepy vampire Santa named “Clausferatu” (an instance where the writers think that’s like super “clever”). The whole thing is pretty idiotic, but still shows an ambitious plot execution that you can feel is filled with passion and despite the odds is a lot of fun.

The kind of movie where you sort of begin to root for the cast and crew to deliver the goods within the confines of the budget. I kept thinking that this film if given to the right director and writer to tweak the somewhat too on the nose, cringey “holiday themed comedy” shit down a bit could have been an instant cult Xmas classic, if this exact same film had been shot on video in the 80’s people would likely today would regard it as a holiday horror genre must see. However given it’s release in 2006(an era not fully appreciated yet by most) it’s likely going to take a few more years before people catch on to just how unique this stupid little yuletide adventure really is. I for one will most definitely be giving this another watch next year! Two Front Teeth was a definite holiday treat I think that is currently aging quite nicely…

 

Monster Puppets, Magic & Mystery: ONYX The FORTUITOUS & The TALISMAN of SOULS

I went into ‘ONYX The FORTUITOUS & The TALISMAN of SOULS’ not knowing much of what to expect except that it apparently had Barbara Crampton and Jeffrey Combs in it, which I assumed would likely be small cameos. However this new horror comedy was a breath of fresh air and though it did only feature Crampton in a cameo, Combs was a major player here as the movie’s sinister villain. Better yet the film’s jam packed with some really sharp comedy, mainly from the film’s writer, director, editor and star of the film Andrew Bowser who plays the severely socially awkward character Marcus (but he prefers to be called Onyx the Fortuitous). Marcus lives with his mom, works at a fast-food burger joint and gets zero respect from anyone.

He’s quite a strange character who’s brand of humor is likely to divide audiences-luckily I thought he was pretty entertaining but I can see how he could be a bit too much for certain people to endure. Almost like fast talking “Napoleon Dynamite” whose mannerisms sorta have to be seen to be fully embraced. Apparently Andrew Bowser has been doing the character on Youtube for a while now and this is his feature film debut.

Anyway Marcus’ life has reached an all time low when it’s apparent he’s got no real friends or meaningful relationships that is until he wins a contest to a weekend stay at a creepy mansion hosted by his favorite online Satanic occult personality “Bartok the Great” and his sexy assistant Farrah. There he meets a cast off oddball characters who’ve also won this odd vacation opportunity. However they get much more than they bargained for when they realize all is not as it seems and there’s a much more sinister plan afoot that catapults  them into bizarre mystery leaving them trapped inside the stronghold. The best thing about this weird little horror comedy are the uniquely ridiculous characters we follow. As Marcus, who convinces the rest of the crew to call him “Onyx” isn’t strange enough he’s joined by a solid supporting cast.

Jeffrey Combs delivers the goods here too, he’s not phoning it in and we all know when he’s on top of his game he’s a cinematic genius to behold. The film’s cast really pushes this one along at a brisk pace with plenty of heart and intrigue-but there’s more for old school horror fans. The special fx here also take center stage with some truly impressive creatures that are brought to life via some incredible puppetry and animatronics. This one would make even Jim Henson’s Creature Shop a bit jealous I think. Minimal CGI here is greatly appreciated and it shows just how special a production can feel when filled with creations that are actually on set.

That all being said I wish that they’d have gotten a bit more screen time, most of the stunning puppetry is contained to one key sequence. The trailer does make it look a little more fully loaded with monsters, still maybe less is more in this case and the movie might’ve benefitted more from the way it’s characters, at the end of the day, shine more than any crazy gore or bloodthirsty creatures. This one’s comedy which I think is pretty razor sharp for the most parts (aside from maybe getting a little too cutesy at the finale) is really the main attraction. But that doesn’t mean the film doesn’t look great-it’s got the spooky atmosphere nailed down but could’ve utilized the set pieces a bit more to really push the adventure to the next level. All in all though this one was a real delight and a bonafide vanity project from Andrew Bowser that’s bound to end up a modern day cult classic.

It’s got the FX, the humor, colorful characters, mystery, totally excellent puppet monsters and just the right amount of heart to give it some emotional weight. Check this one out if you’re looking for something a bit different-hopefully you’ll find Andrew’s character “Onyx” as hilarious as I did-that being said-you’ve been WARNED!!

Movie Review: Tom Delonge Reveals the “Alien Conspiracy” in MONSTERS OF CALIFORNIA?

I took a chance the other night out of sheer boredom and stopped by the Redbox kiosk at the grocery store to give Blink 182’s Tom Delonge’s first directorial effort a shot-MONSTERS OF CALIFORNIA. I’ve been a bit curious about this for a while now, specifically curious about just what the hell Tom’s agenda is these days as he’s hooked up with Government officials apparently to slowly reveal the “alien agenda” softly to the public. He’s been a BIG alien buff for quite sometime and of course I can totally respect his efforts. But as he’s been hangin’ with the gov’t big wigs I became even more curious just how much he can really be trusted to deliver the truth?

Well here we likely get a glimpse into the thing perhaps he’s trying to reveal in his first “To The Stars Academy” film. I think his heart is sort of in the right place movie wise-trying to put together a of Gov’t conspiracy type of film that appears to be inspired by himself and likely his Blink bandmates. He goes hard with the 90’s/early 2000’s humor which frankly didn’t surprise me one bit some of it lands and well some fall as flat as a Blink B-side. Trying here to not be too PC, we get an onslaught of dick jokes and “I wanna bang your mom and you sister” type of ‘Enema of the State” style stoner humor that sometimes hits but mostly feels a bit generic and safe. Still though he tries his best to create characters and situations that you might feel lifted from an old 80s Spielberg flick as you get three teen dudes who’re obsessed with the paranormal. They spend much of their time trying to prove the existence of ghosts, aliens, the afterlife and yes of course Sasquatch.

Throw in some generic teen “romance and family drama for good measure and you get a sort of “by the books” supernatural adventure that feels oddly familiar. The characters are likable enough, but the only one who really gets any real depth is our lead played by Jack Samson, who in the movie is severely depressed at the disappearance (death?) of his father. His dad was apparently involved in some top secret shit that involved government secrets into the supernatural realm of thing like cryptids and flying saucers. The kid and his friends discover some classified coordinates to paranormal “hot spots” setting out on an adventure to expose the truth and also get to the bottom of the kid’s missing dad. However the Government isn’t too happy with the teens meddling into these top secret affairs and soon it’s a race against time for survival as things quickly spiral out of control.

I think Monsters of California is good watch if you’re looking for something fun at the Safeway Redbox. Tom Delonge tries his best to craft a quirky adventure, some of it works and some of it feels a bit too ham-fisted at times. The special fx are for the most part pretty decent too, aside from the CG ghost the teens encounter, which I think they shouldn’t have shown at all. One of the main problems here is the full reveal of supernatural entities being “real” within the first few minutes sort of spoils the fun. That being said, there’s actually a pretty cool looking Bigfoot that employs some sweet practical fx and a few solid laughs. The movie in general looks pretty great and it’s definitely not a bad effort at all for Delonge. It’s just a bit too timid and doesn’t bring anything new to the table, staying too firmly within boundaries that probably needed to be pushed a bit to make this a memorable cinematic experience. This is first and foremost a comedy but I can’t help but feel as if Delonge is trying to send us some sort of “message” here as to what he’s been privy to with his real life government connections.

It’s really anyones guess, but the movie clearly has a strong narrative and I do wonder if what we’re shown here is at least a vague idea of what he thinks is really going on with all of these UFO or now “UAP” sightings. Personally I believe Tom might’ve been purposely given dis-information from the Government about the alien phenomenon to spread to the public-time will tell I suppose. However maybe he does really know something we don’t and I guess ‘Monsters of California’ likely gives us a glimpse of what Delonge thinks is happening. I’d say this is worth a watch if you’re hanging around a Redbox, but don’t go too far out of your way to watch it-as it’s a fairly familiar, slightly generic foray into the mind of Tom Delonge and the alien conspiracy….

MOVIE MELT Podcast: “Squatchtober” Returns With LITTLE BIGFOOT 2!!

Halloween is all the rage, but what the F#$K about “Squatchtober”?! Well it’s back whether you like it or not-so is LITTLE BIGFOOT! Some people might not have wanted a Little Bigfoot sequel-but you got one anyway and here on Movie Melt we go DEEP into the sequel! If you are a giant fan of the PM Entertainment franchise you are in such luck. All the info and unique trivia you ever wanted to know about ‘Little Bigfoot 2’ is awaiting you right HERE on the latest episode!

‘Little Bigfoot 2: The Journey Home’ follows the exploits of a single parent family on a camping trip, yeah three kids and one helluva annoying dad who thinks he’s the most amusing guy on the planet head out into the woods where they run into a weird small man in an animatronic Bigfoot costume that sorta Romas around d the woods with a blank lifeless look on his face, wait, no that’s the star of the show-Little Bigfoot himself! Apparently he’s lost his family to an evil landowner, who wants to put the creatures in a circus, Little Bigfoot is homesick and severely depressed (coulda fooled me-he seems pretty emotionless about the whole affair actually) and his only hope is this little gang of kids to help him get home to his crew and avoid the evil men out to get him!

Yes! We cover all the bases here and even have a wild n’ crazy Bigfoot themed “battle of the bands” to really get you in the mood for some Sasquatch action! We also cover some movies we’ve been watching on our own time that we think you need to check out and soooo much more cinematic brain candy to make your mind melt like a Halloween Hershey’s bar! Check out the latest episode of MOVIE MELT RIGHT HERE!!! 

Afraid of CGI Grey Aliens? If So ‘NO ONE WILL SAVE YOU’ Delivers the GOODS!

HULU finally brings me a grey alien home invasion horror film I’ve asking for-‘No One Will Save You’ delivers a simple premise with some fairly well executed drama but also manages to take the terrifying silent “greys” of movies like ‘Communion’ & ‘Fire in the Sky’ and turns them into loud rubbery CGI lunatics. Yeah these modern UFO films or all films in general now tbh) just can’t resist going digital and at times these creatures end up feeling more “Roger Rabbit” than ‘Close Encounters of the Third Kind’. I’ve been saying it for years someone should make a home invasion film with “the greys”, I’d always found them quite terrifying and it’d be really a unique premise to see them pursue a human in a secluded home.

Well this movie grants me my wish but makes a mistake, one that just can’t be avoided today it seems-heavy reliance on shoddy looking CGI fx. Last year we saw a practical effects alien attack film in ‘Kids vs Aliens’, which used practical fx but dropped the ball in the approach, like this, showing the aliens far too much in plain sight. Maybe I’m the only one here, but to me being chased down by CGI creatures just doesn’t strike terror in my heart. I need to feel that there is a real threat there onscreen WITH the actual actors-it really needs to feel convincing. The aliens in ‘Fire in the Sky’ are pure perfection, I can only imagine them invading a home, but for some reason Hollywood just doesn’t have either the skill or patience to film real monster effects anymore. That all being said ‘No One Will Save You’ is still somewhat entertaining and filled with a few twists and turns. There’s several styles of aliens too that enter the mix-two of them particularly look awkwardly cartoonish and some of the chase/fight sequences get a bit too ridiculous and cartoonishly rambunctious at times. But, there is a neat little story here at play despite all of my visual gripes that make this worth a look.

There’s a GREAT setting for all of this to take place, a beautiful little home tucked away in the countryside and it really doesn’t take long for the Aliens to arrive and get “nasty”. Kaitlyn Dever does a good job in the lead with almost no spoken dialogue and does her best trying to look scared shitless by CGI creatures. It’s definitely not the best alien invasion film I’ve seen before and works better honestly as drama than a “horror” film. There’s some decent attempts at deep character development/motivation as a young woman lives in seclusion by choice and we go on a journey to put together exactly why she’s struggling so much with every day life. The film by the end takes some turns I didn’t see really see coming-mostly in the film’s last final couple minutes. It’s got a message that’s worth some discussion and likely could be interpreted in several ways.

It’s pretty decent streaming content but nothing that’s anywhere near as effective or memorable as Communion, Fire in the Sky or even Dark Skies from 2013. I was pretty excited for my grey alien fix but I feel film now just isn’t capable of going the distance-I’m not even sure many of these modern directors could execute a film like E.T. these days without relying largely on digital fx. I think they could have given us some terrifying creatures using animatronics, like a lanky marionette and used CG to remove wires, strings and puppeteers. Also keeping a creature like a grey in the shadows is when they feel most terrifying-instead this film has them running and jumping all over the place in plain sight. Their design is far too digital to showcase so prominently. Instead the less is more approach makes them much more mysterious and terrifying. This pic from Fire in the Sky is a good example:

The craft of executing a real shot on real film feels like a true thing of the past. This one’s worth a watch, I don’t expect too much anyways from an original film for HULU. I say check it out if you’re looking for some classic alien action and if you’re REAAAALLLY scared of CGI monsters this movie will NOT disappoint.

 

NIGHT TRAP: Sega’s 1992 “Controversial” B-Movie VHS Video Game?!

Anyone else remember the intense horror of 1992’s interactive shot on video Sega video game NIGHT TRAP?! Me neither-but I stumbled on this oddity recently and was fully intrigued to somehow check it out. Well it’s not a video game that I’ll likely be able to track down to play anytime soon on a real consoles, we can watch all the footage though and see for ourselves what this weird lil’ B-movie video game is really all about.

Developed in 1992 for ‘Sega CD’ using SOV footage from 1987 the game concept was originally picked up by Hasbro but was suddenly shelved in 1989. However people were still sniffing around this intriguing interactive movie concept and Sega eventually bit and released it in 1992 and the game generated some real negative hype quick fast. Take a look at these “vampires” in one of the scenes that got it’s creators in HOT water!

The game’s story line was absolutely perfect for B-movie horror fanatics, featuring a teenage girl’s slumber party being overrun with bloodthirsty “vampires” while you watch “live surveillance” video of them and trigger traps around the house to foil the creatures of the night from feasting upon them for a midnight snack. Night Trap however brought along some big controversy though-it was discussed in a Senate hearing along with ‘Mortal Combat’ as being an example of violence in video games that corrupts the minds of youths in America and brings real life violence into the streets and suburbs-Night Trap was that intensely influential to young psychopaths everywhere apparently-who’d a thunk?!

It triggered a “rating system” for games, it must’ve been quite a wild bloodbath huh? Hardly, but it was wild enough to get huge toy store chains to completely remove it from their shelves. I definitely remember in the 90’s the campaign’s for censorship running WILD in the music industry but who knew an SOV horror video game could generate SO much intense governmental rage?! When you actually watch the game’s most “notorious” scenes it’s laughable that anyone would use THIS as an example for extreme video game violence. This is prime cheez and obviously early 90’s politicians didn’t know a good thing when they’ve seen it!

There really is no blood and it’s somewhat pathetic execution of said “violence” is pretty much just dumb fun. There’s vampires being foiled by amusing but sub par “home alone style” house traps and I guess it’s likely that some of the controversy came from the concept of a home invasion on teenage girls. Speaking of the teens a familiar face of the 1980s stars here as well, Dana Plato (RIP) known best as Kimberly in ‘Diff’rent Strokes’ starred in the game to really give it some 80’s star power super cred.

 This is such a cool little relic for fans of bad horror movies and VHS, to me it reminds me a bit of the “Dragon’s Lair” style game play. Where pressing buttons simply changes scenes and outcomes-rather than actually “controlling things”. Like a “choose your own adventure” style video game that really outraged those politicians-looking back they must feel like morons raising a stink about this cheeky, cheezy little video game. I suggest watching the full game on YouTube or check this video out-it gives you a great idea visually what this oddity was all all about!

TOTAL Pop Punk Nostalgia: The FIENDZ are BACK!

Waaaaay back in 1991 I discovered one of my favorite pop punk albums of all time: ‘Wact’ by The Fiendz. This was before the term “pop punk” was a dirty word and the mainstream was flooded by countless generic bands trying to ride off the back of Green Day’s success. Bands like the Descendents/ALL, Big Drill Car, Jawbreaker, The Parasites & Doughboys (amongst so many others) were changing the punk scene in the late 1980’s and one band that’s often not mentioned enough is indeed New Jersey’s The Fiendz who dropped onto the scene in 1987. They brought the pop punk classic album ‘We’re The Fiendz’ in 1989 and got to see them for the first time in Green Bay Wisconsin’s legendary punk venue Kutska’s Hall with Portland OR band Crackerbash in the early 90’s. Their albums ‘Wact’ and ‘We’re the Fiendz’ were part of my soundtrack of teenage years.

I think the NJ three piece had just as many chops as Green Day did in their heyday but unfortunately the band around that time time changed their sound quite a bit, leaving their peppy punk sound behind and going for a more polished refined style that to me was more reminiscent of Elvis Costello than the earlier guitar driven anthems. Looking back I think The Fiendz could’ve grabbed the gold with their original sound at the time but also respect (and liked) their later albums. I got to see them several times and even share the stage in the 90s while on tour with my bands King Friday and Ben Grim-not only were The Fiendz a great band live but also great humans. 

Well as the years passed I’d sort of assumed I’d maybe I’d heard the last of them, but lo and behold it’s now 2023 and they’ve returned with a brand new album called ‘Dummy’ that’s indeed more of a “return to form” to their original crunchy guitar rock sound. Packed with 15 solid nuggets of chunky pop punk/power pop is just what I’d been hoping for when I originally heard they had a new album on the horizon. Even better yet they took the album to their old pal Bill Stevenson (Descendents/ALL/Black Flag) to mix it and it sounds pretty awesome.

If you’re unfamiliar with The Fiendz they definitely had that classic sound that fit the bill (no pun intended) with Stevenson’s Descendents/ALL brand of frenetic pop punk styles. ‘Dummy’ is filled with their unique brand, cool unexpected time/tempo changes, huge harmonies and wildly catchy guitar work. There’s no mistaking a riff from The Fiendz for any one else’s either and it’s evident here they’ve went back to what originally made my teen self love them so much and appreciate even more so many years later. There’s some fast paced stuff that harkens back more to their late 80s debut album, mid tempo rockers and a few slower power pop style numbers to give ‘Dummy’ a nice balance while keeping the distortion on guitar amped up. Most of all it’s just a record that’s a ton of fun, with plenty of pop hooks to chomp on.

The band here really is flawless too, my only “complaint” is that I’d wished their original drummer Joe Darone, who contributed in other ways to the record would’ve been behind the skins again. Don’t get me wrong the playing here is excellent, but his style on the drums was one of the big highlights of their earlier albums and to really kick the nostalgia factor into hyperdrive his presence would have been the icing on the cake as a big fan myself. However this isn’t the first album he’s been missed on. That being said this a pretty nice return for a band that really deserves more praise from lovers of the genre- before it was watered down by mainstream record deals and MTV. The Fiendz are back and if you’re missing the classic sound of pop punk from the late 80s and early 90s the way I’ve been for so many years this album will bring it all back around full circle.

I’d love to see them on tour or at least get them opening a few shows for the Descendents (once Milo’s all healed up), fans of the iconic band would most definitely find their new favorite band they might’ve missed out on for all these years! Check out their new album HERE! 

Plus here’s one of my favorite Fiendz songs from their classic second album: