Tagged: film

A Duo of Hopefully Rad Upcoming Halloween Horror!

This Halloween season I will be once again looking forward to some great new horror, at least something good I can see in the theater! So far what’s looking the best to me are two movies in particular that will most likely show up in theaters across the nation. First we have “Sinister” which looks so far like it’s going to be a creepy ass little ghost story which stars Ethan Hawke.

It makes you think twice about setting up a projector and playing random strange films that you uncover from an attic! Check it out, So far I am digging the creepy monster dude who appears to be the movie’s “Freddy Kruger”. Yeah it’s kinda humorous seeing that creepy guy appear everywhere especially since he kinda reminds me of Mortiis, black metal superstar who used to make rad dungeon core music..

Second is one that pretty is fantastic, all but for the fact that it appears to be another “found footage” horror movie. Yeah I think we can all agree that the found footage genre is losing it’s luster quite a bit for me at least. However there’s always an exception as this movie V/H/S undeniably looks pretty damn entertaining…so far at least! This is cool also because it’s an anthology ala Creepshow with various directors bringing their flare to the movie. This movie promises thrills, monsters and the supernatural..


It seems this one has quite a huge buzz around it already. This movie is yet another one (like The Ring) that will make you think twice before watching or in this case stealing random vhs tapes from strange locales..

Real Life Scooby Doo!? Saturday Morning Massacre!

I have just read a review for “Saturday Morning Massacre” at Ain’t It Cool and it’s mighty clear they thought it was one of the coolest movies around! Basically the premise is that of a real life Scooby Doo adventure, two male and two female mystery hunters and their dog cruise the countryside in their vintage van in search of things that go bump in the night! Only after solving countless mysteries they come to the conclusion that ghosts and monsters really don’t exist, that is until they venture into one creepy old mansion. There they come face to face with pure evil and their ghost busting skills are put to the ultimate test!

Sounds pretty rad to me and they so far described it as equal parts comedy and true horror. So naturally I hunted down the trailer to see what all the hype is about and found the trailer to be a little bland. What do you think? This movie premieres in LA later this month but otherwise has no release date. I hope it lives up to the Aintitcool hype-meter!

Moonrise Kingdom: Easily One of the Best of 2012!!

I saw Moonrise Kingdom this weekend, the latest from Wes Anderson, is easily one of the BEST movies I have seen this year and in my opinion the best yet from him. It packs an awesome star studded cast, Bruce Willis, Edward Norton, Frances Mcdormand & Bill Murray but though they all deliver hilarious performances the true star of the movie is Jared Gilman, the misunderstood run away khaki cub scout.

I have found most of Anderson’s films comedic, but in this one in particular had me laughing out loud for pretty much the whole movie. It seems Anderson has been changing his game a little bit with his last couple movies. Switching the tone a bit with Fantastic Mr Fox and now with Moonrise Kingdom we’ve no longer got a movie about a bunch of rich confused siblings at odds with their parents, I mean isn’t that pretty much what all of his movies are about? Well this time we’ve got the love story about two runaway twelve year olds, set back in 1965 as their families and cub scout troop set off to find the odd pair on a beautiful tucked away location in Rhode Island. The two share a special bond that only they seem to really understand. To put it into perspective Jared Gilman’s character simply warns his new twelve year old beau early on in their adventure that later “he may pee the bed” oh so very nonchalantly.

This movie is Anderson’s most hilarious to date but also it’s a beautiful charming little coming of age tale. It’s filmed as if seen through the eyes of child, visually sensationalized as a normal tree house seems incredibly exaggerated as it towers far too high above the cub scout camp. This one is for everyone, many who’ve felt a bit alienated by his earlier work will truly appreciate everything about this movie. Truly one of the best films of the year…

Owen Wilson as Nomad in Captain America 2?! Maybe!

Wow did you hear the big news today about Captain America 2?!! Oh My GOD!!! Holy Shit!!! It’s official true believers!! Cap has got directors!! Two Brothers!! Nope NOT The Wachowski Brothers! No the………….Russo Brothers?!! The who?!

Wait these guys must be like totally underground, let me guess they helmed some super bad ass action flick that only a handful of ultra comic hipsters have seen?! No? Wait…wait a second…they aren’t the Russo Brothers as in the directors of “You, Me and Dupree” are they?! No….wait…yeah?!

Hmmm…um ok then, well Marvel you know what? You SURE know how to get the Hype machine oiled up and moving on this one! Can we at the very least please have Owen Wilson play the slacker super hero Jack Monroe aka “Nomad” to show up to crash on Captain America’s couch like he did in the 1980’s?

“Captain America 2: You, Me, Dupree & Nomad” Come on at least give us that to look forward too! If it happens folks and it’s actually not a bad idea, you gotta say you heard it here first 😉

Uninvited: The Ultimate in Domestic House Cat Horror!!

The year was 1988 and it was time to finally bring the family house cat to the forefront of modern TERROR!!!! Yeah watching “Uninvited” for the first time was quite a treat. This is one that will most definitely be making the cut for Bad Movie Night!

The story is simple a shady laboratory is doing some strange experimenting on a cute little orange house cat and have determined that this little fur ball has a weird tumor growing inside of him. However these numb nut doctors accidentally let him escape, it doesn’t take much as the cat strolls out of the lab pretty leisurely while the security team is frantically on it’s trail. This is when we all first get a glimpse of the “univited” early on, this darling little cat has some crazed devil rat cat living inside it’s body. Whenever this cat gets pissed off it crawls out of it’s mouth and gives an ass kicking to anyone who steps in it’s damn way!

Pretty fucking rad huh? Well when you see this little pathetic monster who looks like he’s been swimming in Crisco cooking grease all day you may think otherwise. Every he graces the screen though I guarantee you’ll have a big fat fucking smile on your face. Anyway this cat, who’s constantly meowing without his mouth opening, ends up hopping aboard a yacht owned by a dirty money hungry gangster and a bunch of wise ass hot shot college kids. The year is 1988, that sure is clear in this flick, you get an ultra second rate music score that sounds like it was written by Boy George’s stepbrother’s cousin, impromptu dance parties, skanky 80’s babes who invite strange random dudes on a weekend sea cruise after only meeting them for literally sixty seconds. This sets the stage for an ocean boat ride of sheer idiotic terror!

We’ve got a boatload full of irritating eighties jerk offs and a cute cuddly kitty, who always looks like a completely different cat every time he shows up, with a belly full of evil ready to go ballistic anytime it gets mildly annoyed. Greydon Clark, wrote this movie must have had some serious feline issues as it’s hard to believe this concept was stretched into a full feature length film.

Still when you see the Crisco drenched devil rat cat crawling in and out of the puppet house cat’s mouth again and again it makes this shiny terd of a movie a worthwhile treat. Next time I view it I’ll make sure it’s with a room full of friends and a LOT o’ booze. Don’t miss it as it’s out on a double feature dvd now with another movie called Mutant from 1984 originally called Night Shadows, which I can only hope is as rad as Uninvited….

Unfortunately This is Not an Alien….

But it might as well be! I just first saw this amazing video last night-at first I was certain a new sea creature was discovered! Well unfortunately a scientist already identified it as a deep sea squid. Either way it’s new to me and totally amazing that this beast was captured on camera while drilling off coast of the UK. It’s pretyy much the strangest thing I have seen in quite sometime-proof to us monster obsessed geeks that real monsters do exist right here on earth! Yay!! Now let’s just hope we never run into this thing while snorkling!

The Avengers 2 : The Top 5 Avengers to Join the Team!

Everyone is Avengers crazy at the moment and for good reason, the movie was RAD! So I asked the question what’s next for the team? Supposedly another Iron Man, Captain America, Thor, Hulk (though not confirmed) and Nick Fury movie in the works first before we get a second Avengers installment. Personally I think they should skip all the solo films and just start planning the sequel. Do we all wanna wait 5 more years to get another Avengers movie? Not me!

With a second movie we will most definitely get more Avengers! But who will be the new team members? Listen up Marvel because Universal Dork is going to give you the winning choices!! So let’s get started!

1. Giant Man

First I must say this- Why the hell was Hank Pym not in the Avengers movie?!! They should have skipped Hawkeye & Black Widow and given
us Giant Man and The Wasp! I mean how great would it have been to have seen The Hulk battle in NYC from The Ultimates with Giant Man towering above the buildings? This next movie is the perfect opportunity to bring him into the fold!

Casting Choice: Aaron Ekhart

2. The Wasp

Well if we are going to bring in Pym then of course we need The Wasp! These two go hand in hand and their relationship is quite an interesting one. She’s always dealing with Hank’s abusive behavior and if you read the Ultimates you know this would be a great story to tell! When Cap goes after Giant Man after he nearly kills the Wasp with bug spray was easily one of my favorite moments of the series!

Casting Choice: Lucy Liu (Ultimates version)

3. She-Hulk

Aside from being the hottest woman in comic books we have the perfect opportunity to bring in Jennifer Walters and She-Hulk. We already have The Hulk on board so it would be a great story in the next movie to have Ruffalo have to save his cousin with that blood transfusion. Plus who the hell doesn’t want to see a real She-Hulk in the flesh?! In this case I would highly advise NOT CG-ing her. Get a good make up artist and actually digitally enlarge her. All the fan boys wanna see the real thing this time!

Casting Choice: Christina Hendricks

4. The Vision

Yes!! The Vision is easily one of the coolest comic characters ever!!
He’s a staple Avenger, an Android and his wife is a human mutant the Scarlet Witch! I say if they decide to pass on Giant Man and The Wasp then we have to see the messed up story of a woman who falls in love with a robot!!!

Casting Choice: Bret Spiner (Duh! At least Voicing)

5. The Black Panther

Another obvious choice, the king of Wakanda needs to kick some serious ass in this next installment. Recruiting him would be a blast too as The Avengers could travel to his homeland and even get into a scuffle there in the Jungle! The Avengers need a little more color in their team, Nick fury behind the scenes just ain’t enough! T’challa however could be a whole franchise of his own as well…

Casting Choice: Wesley Snipes (if he gets out of prison! Plus he was a good Blade and already expressed interest in playing this charcter)

What do you think??

Let’s Search for Spock!

Here’s a little video clip for anyone interested in Spock. It’s a dancehall track I wrote in honor of the legendary Vulcan and I recently put it up on Youtube for the whole galaxy to enjoy!

I also put up a Mister Saturday Bandcamp page so you can download some hardcore nerdcore for free….

Anyway check it out if you haven’t already!

The Number One Easter Themed Horror Flick!

Guess what? Easter Sunday is only a couple days away and I’m sure you’re all wondering what the heck are you going to watch later that night while munching down on all your chocolate Cadbury eggs? Well fear not fellow dorks that’s why I’m here to save your Easter with some useless knowledge!

Let me tell you there aren’t too many Easter themed horror movies out there and with the few there are to choose from it’s crucial you don’t waste your time this year. There are some newer movies like “Peter Rottentail”, “Easter Bunny, Kill Kill!” and “Kottentail” that you could waste your time with. All of them look like they’re filmed by high school students filming using their cell phones. So if that’s what you’re into don’t hesitate. I however will be watching the one and only great Easter themed movie….Critters 2!

The first Critters was pretty great obviously borrowing on the trend that the Gremlins started. Well part 2 is actually pretty damn fun also. Directed by Mick Garris this 1988 classic hits heavy on the Easter theme as the residents of the small town of Grover’s Bend mistake Critter eggs for Easter eggs, use them for the yearly egg hunt and soon they are rolling rampant wrecking havoc on the town! They even attack the Easter Bunny himself! So people make no mistake about it it’s Easter themed horror at it’s best…

Michael Bay Destroys Our Childhood Nostalgia & I Don’t Care!!

I really don’t spend too much time thinking about Michael Bay or the fact that he likes to takes everything we loved from our yesteryears as children and teenagers and turns them into a pile of dirty Depends. Really the more I think about it all the more I really really just don’t care anymore! Yeah he had a shot at making an amazing Transformers movie but did you really think anyone in mainstream Hollywood was going to make some totally cool movie version really in this day and age?

Fat chance, every now and again we get something really good these days like The Dark Knight or Hellboy II from Hollywood. But all you fanboys and gals out there need to get over it and move on already! You want to watch a good Transformers movie? Then watch the classic Transformers movie from the 80’s! Are you pissed that Bay has got his hands on the Teenage…or um, sorry excuse me, “Ninja Turtles” franchise? Well then read the original series from the mid 1980’s because you know what? They already fucked up the film when they made it in 1990, I remember back in the day I thought the movie was a watered down shitty ass kiddie version of the dark themes of the original books.

Sure today I accept it and even have a soft spot for the live action cheez of the early 90’s TMNT films complete with Vanilla Ice lets not forget. Sure Bay making a movie will suck big time of course but it’s not like it’s going to be competing against cinematic genius of the original Turtles movies!

So yeah now he’s going to make some Halloween movies. He’s already ruined Freddy, Jason & Leatherface so for him to leave out Mike Myers would be sorta just incomplete in the grand scheme in the shittiest way possible. Besides Rob Zombie already put a lame spin on the franchise when he tried to remake them!

So really at this point who cares? Personally I’m a little tired of Michael Myers anyway I mean the guy doesn’t even speak for cryin’ out loud. People now do you all really need to see him in yet another damn film anyway?! I mean we’ve got like ten films as it is!! Same really goes for Freddy, Jason, Leatherface, Chucky ect ect ect….I if want to see a good film I’ll watch the originals. I just don’t care anymore-I’m tired of schlock that they try to spoon feed us-so you know what? I just am not going even bother anymore. Personally there are a lot more exciting things going on that are new and fresh ideas-Did you all see Attack the Block last year? Or Tucker & Dale Vs. Evil? There are still NEW ideas out there being made that are great. But people don’t expect Hollywood to churn out classics anymore of your favorite childhood nostalgia-watching these major blockbuster movies is like eating shitty junk food and washing it down with some neon colored extreme Gatorade. Sooner or later you’re gonna puke and instead eat something that in the end is better for you and made with a little more care.

So I say Michael Bay, Tim Burton & all you other modern day hacks eat your heart out-go crazy-remake it all! Rob our childhoods! I probably won’t even notice that it’s happening because I have got the classics still and can’t wait for the next new fresh ideas to hit the screens or my dvd player. But the rest of you people stop going and see all this shitty cinema and then complaining! You are all the reason that he keeps on making more shit in the end….