Tagged: barbara crampton
Monster Puppets, Magic & Mystery: ONYX The FORTUITOUS & The TALISMAN of SOULS
I went into ‘ONYX The FORTUITOUS & The TALISMAN of SOULS’ not knowing much of what to expect except that it apparently had Barbara Crampton and Jeffrey Combs in it, which I assumed would likely be small cameos. However this new horror comedy was a breath of fresh air and though it did only feature Crampton in a cameo, Combs was a major player here as the movie’s sinister villain. Better yet the film’s jam packed with some really sharp comedy, mainly from the film’s writer, director, editor and star of the film Andrew Bowser who plays the severely socially awkward character Marcus (but he prefers to be called Onyx the Fortuitous). Marcus lives with his mom, works at a fast-food burger joint and gets zero respect from anyone.
He’s quite a strange character who’s brand of humor is likely to divide audiences-luckily I thought he was pretty entertaining but I can see how he could be a bit too much for certain people to endure. Almost like fast talking “Napoleon Dynamite” whose mannerisms sorta have to be seen to be fully embraced. Apparently Andrew Bowser has been doing the character on Youtube for a while now and this is his feature film debut.
Anyway Marcus’ life has reached an all time low when it’s apparent he’s got no real friends or meaningful relationships that is until he wins a contest to a weekend stay at a creepy mansion hosted by his favorite online Satanic occult personality “Bartok the Great” and his sexy assistant Farrah. There he meets a cast off oddball characters who’ve also won this odd vacation opportunity. However they get much more than they bargained for when they realize all is not as it seems and there’s a much more sinister plan afoot that catapults them into bizarre mystery leaving them trapped inside the stronghold. The best thing about this weird little horror comedy are the uniquely ridiculous characters we follow. As Marcus, who convinces the rest of the crew to call him “Onyx” isn’t strange enough he’s joined by a solid supporting cast.
Jeffrey Combs delivers the goods here too, he’s not phoning it in and we all know when he’s on top of his game he’s a cinematic genius to behold. The film’s cast really pushes this one along at a brisk pace with plenty of heart and intrigue-but there’s more for old school horror fans. The special fx here also take center stage with some truly impressive creatures that are brought to life via some incredible puppetry and animatronics. This one would make even Jim Henson’s Creature Shop a bit jealous I think. Minimal CGI here is greatly appreciated and it shows just how special a production can feel when filled with creations that are actually on set.
That all being said I wish that they’d have gotten a bit more screen time, most of the stunning puppetry is contained to one key sequence. The trailer does make it look a little more fully loaded with monsters, still maybe less is more in this case and the movie might’ve benefitted more from the way it’s characters, at the end of the day, shine more than any crazy gore or bloodthirsty creatures. This one’s comedy which I think is pretty razor sharp for the most parts (aside from maybe getting a little too cutesy at the finale) is really the main attraction. But that doesn’t mean the film doesn’t look great-it’s got the spooky atmosphere nailed down but could’ve utilized the set pieces a bit more to really push the adventure to the next level. All in all though this one was a real delight and a bonafide vanity project from Andrew Bowser that’s bound to end up a modern day cult classic.
It’s got the FX, the humor, colorful characters, mystery, totally excellent puppet monsters and just the right amount of heart to give it some emotional weight. Check this one out if you’re looking for something a bit different-hopefully you’ll find Andrew’s character “Onyx” as hilarious as I did-that being said-you’ve been WARNED!!
The ‘Puppet Master’ Franchise Officially Returns!
It’s about time right? The Puppet Master franchise is officially back! The official trailer has dropped for Puppet Master: The Littlest Reich, the new reboot of the classic series that became a cult classic way back in 1989. It features a screenplay from S. Craig Zahler (director of Bone Tomahawk and Brawl in Cell Block 99), features some crazy new puppets. Shit hits the fan when a supernatural force animates a collection of puppets up for auction at an antique convention, setting them on a blood drenched killing spree that’s put into motion by an ancient evil. It stars Michael Paré, Thomas Lennon, Charlyne Yi, Udo Kier, Nelson Franklin, Matthias Hues, Jenny Pellicer, and Barbara Crampton. The movie is directed by Sonny Laguna (Wither) & Tommy Wiklund.
So far this looks like a pretty sweet little reboot that’s definitely not holding back on killer puppet practical fx mayhem. Count me in here, as a huge fan of the original movie this one looks like it’s been re-booted the right way! This one’s set to release August 17th 2018.
Movie Review: ‘Beyond The Gates’ and its Sinister VHS Board Game…
‘Beyond The Gates‘ is the first feature film from Jackson Stewart, an indie horror movie I’ve been super excited about for a long time. Last night I dropped the seven bones on Google Play to check it out. What originally really excited me about this movie was it’s central focus on a sinister VHS board game from the 1980’s called…you guessed it “Beyond The Gates”. These creepy VHS games were pretty popular back when I was a kid, so of course I automatically dug the nostalgia factor that this one had to offer from the start. I also was quite happy to see Graham Skipper (The Mind’s Eye, Almost Human) as one of the leads and also horror icon Barbara Crampton (From Beyond, Re-animator, We Are Still Here) as the creepy host of the VHS board game.

This one has a lot going for it from the get go and it’s quite an intriguing little mystery. Long story short, two brothers come to find that their alcoholic father has gone missing leaving behind his business, an old video store that he started back in 1992. Ah yes, the local video store, what great memories I have of those. Well as the brothers meet up to box up video tapes, close shop and reminisce about their childhood they discover the old VHS board game in the office.

Things get stranger when they realize the VHS tape from the game was the last thing their father had watched before he disappeared. This begins a series of bizarre events as the brothers and one of their girlfriends decide to give the game a try. I don’t want to give away any clues of the story, it’s a pretty engaging movie and a great dramatic story of two brothers finding peace with each other and their past. There’s a lot in this movie that I can relate to personally and that honestly is the strongest aspect of ‘Beyond The Gates’. It’s got a lot of heart.

I did like this movie, however it could have been one of the best horror movies of 2016 if perhaps it had a bit more of an imagination with the horror side of things and hey maybe a bigger budget? The horror aspect of this one kinda let me down. There were a couple of cool scenes that seemed like they were warming us up for a knock out finale. Sadly that knock out never really arrived, in fact the finale seemed like something that we might have expected to see around the half way mark. The movie had a 3 million dollar budget and personally I think they could have stretched it a bit and really given us a more surreal adventurous final act. I’ve seen movies with smaller budgets go a lot further than this. To me it seemed like a good movie that maybe ran out of money near the end of filming. The potential for some truly crazy stylized 80’s horror was definitely there but it lacked the imagination to give fright fans a truly memorable experience.
Overall I liked this movie more as drama and if I’d have known ahead of time that that’s more of what this was I’d be a little less critical of the horror aspect of things. That being said I still give it a thumbs up for a sweet yet creepy story that knows how to pull at your heartstrings. Check it out!
Six New Horror Movies To Get Psyched About!
Halloween is right around the corner come October & you’ll have every right to watch as many horror movies as you want any damn night you want! So naturally being a huge horror hound myself I’m always on the hunt for some quality flicks to look forward to. So today I’ll give you a quick list of six movies (One short and five features) I think have a shot at delivering the goods in the horror department! I’m usually a tough cookie to please so hopefully my predictions will pan out here and we’ll soon be watching five cool horror movies….here goes nothing!
The Stylist
I’m going to start this little list off with an excellent trailer for an intriguing looking short horror film about a hair stylist with some seemingly sinister plans of her very own. I dig this idea for a horror story as I can’t really think of anything quite like it off the top of my head.

After discovering the trailer online by chance I checked out some more of the director, Jill Gevargizian’s short films and they pack an incredibly healthy dose of creep out horror in such small packages, considering most of them are under ten minutes in length . Here’s the trailer for The Stylist:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=51Ije9_78Hs
Beyond The Gates
Here’s another movie with a super duper unique story that I’m super excited about. Beyond the Gates follows a two brothers who reunite after their father’s passing at his old video store. Surrounded by a tons of video tapes they discover an old VHS horror board game and decide to check it out one evening. Of course this is no ordinary board game it’s got some serious evil attached to it.

Just the premise of this gets me excited, I’m a big fan of old VHS and as a kid spent a ton of time at the video store wandering through the horror section. I also recently acquired the old VHS board game “Nightmare” from 1990 so I feel like this movie really hits a sweet spot. The trailer looks great and plus we get Barbara Crampton as the spooky VHS gamemaster! Plus I totally dig the poster so sign me up!
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We Are Still Here: A Seriously Gory Ghost Flick Gone Wild!
We’ve got a ton of movies these days that are trying to be a throwback to the vintage horror classics of the 70’s & 80’s but only a select few of them succeed on the level they attempt. ‘We Are Still Here’ not only succeeds it actually made me forget I was watching a movie released in 2015. What we’ve got here is on helluva ghost story with it’s lead being Scream Queen Barbara Crampton of Re-Animator, From Beyond, Chopping Mall fame which further legitimizes this flick’s already convincing retro time period.

It’s the 1970’s, after the death of their son Bobby in a car accident, Anne (Crampton) and her husband Paul (Andrew Sensenig) have decided to relocate to a new home way out in the boonies of New England. There they hope to find some peace in the midst of their mourning. Paul hopes this move will help his wife snap out the heavy depression she’s recently been dealing with and perhaps will help her begin to move on. No such luck, upon their arrival Anne is convinced her son’s ghost has now manifested in their new home.
As the ghostly events become more intense she decides to ask for help from her close friend May (Lisa Marie), a supposed psychic, and her pot smokin’ free spirit husband Jacob (Larry Fessenden) to try and make contact with Bobby. Shit gets even more freaky, as the weird townsfolk begin revealing the house they’ve moved into’s dark past that’s somehow legendary among them.

It’s a simple premise and just when you think you’re gonna get your average ghost about the house flick you’re knee deep in serious gore. That’s an interesting aspect of this movie, these ghosts will fuck you up big time if you’re nosing around where you’re not wanted. Director Ted Geohegan brings the splatter galore in this grisly tale and does it all old school style via some impressive practical effects.

The Ghosts too are pretty cool looking and the movies got a neat little mystery going on as well. It’s a short sweet little haunting movie that stands in a category all it’s own. You won’t want to miss the final conflict either as things get all ‘Evil Dead II’ pretty quick! Also this appears to be Ted’s first time directing and it’s a great debut. Cool to see he was born right here in Oregon a few miles from where I live! Check this flick out on Amazon, Itunes, Google play etc etc. It’s pretty awesome!






