Tagged: 1985
H.R. GIGER’s Forgotten Cybernetic SLASHER flick: FUTURE KILL!
Straight from the video store days of the 1980s we’re talkin’ a bizarre flick that features those oh so irritating Frat Boys coming face to face with a gang of mutant punks in downtown Austin, Texas!! This “trapped on VHS” ridiculously idiotic GEM is in desperate need of a fancy blu ray restoration!
Terror in the Outback: ‘FORTRESS’ is 1980s Ozploitation Perfection!
Today we cover one the coolest 1980s Aussie films around that deserves WAY more praise here in the the USA! Yeah- the relatively forgotten genre mash up, FORTRESS from 1985, hits ALL the right beats and features the beautiful Rachel Ward in one of the her finest roles. Part action, part adventure, part kids in danger “Amblin” style & part horror film, this one’s filled with twists and turns & features one of my favorite shocker endings of 1980s cult cinema! Trapped on VHS and just waiting to be cleaned up for fancy ass blu ray-we’re going to the “land down under” to talk about it all today!
Comic Cover of the Week: Bill Sienkiewicz Rules Marvel’s SOLOMON KANE Limited Series?!
I never knew that this comic book series was ever a thing way back in 1985-but after seeing this of course incredible cover from master class artist Bill Sienkiewicz I’m ready to track down this limited series and give it a whirl! It’s covers like these that sell a series and Bill’s ALWAYS on top of his game. That being said all six covers for this series are actually pretty incredible, but I guess it’s what’s on the inside that counts though right? We’ll see. In this case though I’m all in to check it out and from thew looks of it-it’s a cheap one to acquire!
U-Dork MUST See Holiday Viewing: 1985’s ‘MONSTER’S IN MY ROOM’ w/ Seth Green?!
I just had a revelation: One of my long lost favorite episodes of ‘Tales from the Darkside’ is actually a Christmas themed horror story! Yeah, the legendary 1980s horror tv series created by icon George Romero is easily one of the best of all time, like any anthology series there are some misses among it’s three seasons but when they hit they’re some of the best. Originally planned as a ‘Creepshow’ sequel tv series, but renamed ‘Tales from the Darkside’ due to rights issues. Many of these episodes are just as good or better than what we got in the first two installments of the original two ‘Creepshow’ movies. So now that we’re back in the holiday season I’ve began some deep diving into forgotten xmas themed horror once again!
I hadn’t seen the 1985 episode ‘Monsters In My Room’ from the second season likely since the 80’s, however I never really forgot it. I just recently got the second season collection of the show on DVD and realized that Seth Green was the star of the episode AND that it also takes place on Christmas! A favorite of mine and a holiday horror treat I could appreciate all over again. The series already has two great Christmas themed episodes-and if you combined all three of these with a holiday wraparound it’s be akin to a real
“Creepshow Holiday anthology” flick-eons better than their 2020 special ‘Shapeshifters Anonymous’. The episodes you need to check out, if you’re looking for real 80’s Xmas horror are ‘The Yattering & Jack’, ‘Seasons of Belief’ & this episode ‘Monsters In My Room’.
We get a super creepy little tale that takes place at Christmas time were Seth Green is terrorized by creatures who live in his room and “come out to play” during the holiday. To make matters worse Seth’s new stepdad “Biff” is a total dick and is obsessed with “making a man” out of little Seth Green on Christmas Eve. When the monsters materialize in the form of an ogre, a huge saw blade, a tentacled monster beneath his bed and a wild wicked witch he naturally goes to his parents to let them know what he’s seen. But of course NO one believes him-especially not Biff who thinks he’s being a coward.
Things take a dark twist though as the “tuff guy sailor” Biff gets wasted one night and enters Seth’s room, singing him old school sailor anthems-one of the things that always seemed to stick with me was his ridiculous drunken singing where he performs: “what do you do with a yellow belly sailor? Shave his belly with a rusty razor” like a total buffoon. I love this episode, I think it’s one of the quintessential of the series, it’s got the holiday vibes all over it and a gang of super cool looking monsters, as well as some really well executed genuinely creepy sequences. Plus little kid Seth Green is awesome here and around this same time appeared in the ‘Amazing Stories’ episode ‘The Sitter’ a total gem of the series and horror themed as well.
So yeah check out THIS episode this year and if you by chance haven’t seen the other two Christmas themed ‘Tales from the Darkside’ episodes you’ve got to watch all three in ONE sitting, like a long lost 80’s Holiday “Creepshow” anthology film-a true trio of Xmas terror!
G.I. JOE Action Stars Cereal Transformed You Into a Bonafide 80s Badass!
‘G.I. Joe Action Stars’ cereal was quite a way to start your day off in 1985! Yes, if you ever dreamed of being like Duke, Sgt. Slaughter or heck even Rambo all you apparently had to do back then was grab a box of this likely highly unhealthy but flashy sugary meal to pump you UP from your local grocery store. I mean c’mon look at this damn box-it’s the food of true action heroes……obviously!
I’m not gonna lie, I want to order that G.I. Joe tee from the back of the damn box! And even better, it appears once you’re done stuffing your face with the yummy action star shaped “Cheerios” you can actually transform the cereal box into some sort of Cobra radio relay station?!! Break out the action figures ASAP!
Talk about getting your money’s worth! Also the commercial for this wicked cereal is the ultimate selling point, putting any kid who eats it on rip roarin’ adventure with the Joe’s!! Sign me up!
Interesting fun factoid, the character featured here named “Starbuster” only appeared in cartoon form in this one and only epic commercial!
Comic Cover of the Week: Eric Vincent’s TALES OF TERROR!
A largely forgotten independent horror anthology comic TALES OF TERROR was ingrained into my memory of my teenage self. Especially in the way it brings back that old nostalgia from the 1980s when I would go into the dingy comic book shops with my older brother, before comic book stuff was all the rage, I’d buy all of the Marvel stuff and he’d by lots of the weird Indy stuff! Titles like Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (when they were weird and gritty), Radioactive Black Belt Hamsters, The Elementals, Deadworld and Tales of Terror from Eclipse Comics always stuck in my mind. Such beautifully creepy covers- This issue first issue from 1986 always stuck out in my mind, artist Eric Vincent of course killed it here! Dang I miss those days of being a nerd when it felt like you were uncovering hidden gems from a secret comic book diamond mine and comics felt edgy, underground, unique and somehow punk….
Comic Cover of the Week: SHOCKWAVES of ’85!!!
One of the most memorable Marvel Comics covers of the 1980s oddly comes from the most unsuspecting title!! The Teansformers #5 is one of the best of the era hands down! It’s a brilliant work of iconic art by Mark Bright from 1985 that gave the series sn “edge”, transforming it from a mere kids toy property to a possibly gritty sci-fi series..A truly stunning example of how to execute comic book cover perfection….
1980s Cine-MAGIC From Japan: The STARDUST BROTHERS!
I’m willing to bet you’re just like me and never heard of this near “forgotten ’til now” 80s gem from Japan: The Legend of The Stardust Brothers! This incredible movie from 1985 is most definitely one of the most unique oddities I’ve stumbled upon in quite sometime. An incredibly ambitious musical gem, packed with practical effects and eighties fashion that will likely knock your neon socks right off!
It tells the tale of two struggling rival musicians: one a rowdy punk rocker and the other an egotistical wanna be popstar who meet a mysterious man while sharing the same bill at a seedy night club. He offers them the contract of a lifetime, claiming that within one week, if they follow all the rules, the two of them will be rocketed to full blown pop super stardom. That is as long as they join forces, from that point on become The Stardust Brothers and tell the world they are indeed real bonafide brothers.
Now admittedly I’m not a real big fan of musicals, there’s only a few that I really love (Popeye, The Wizard of Oz & Little Shop of Horrors immediately come to mind). However this one has now EASILY made the list as a must watch and it’s something I’ll be watching over and over again. Essentially it’s the wildly unpredictable story of the bizarre rise and fall of this pop duo. It’s firmly glued together with a series of incredible little musical vignettes that are a visual and sonic feast.
A sweet mixture of punk rock, powerpop & some cool new wave numbers, connecting a series of incredibly ambitious music videos within one insane narrative. There are touches of the supernatural as well as a ton of amazing special effects, stop motion & practical monster effects that really impress, especially if your a fan of the 80s. It’s also filled to the brim with some of the best Japanese fashion of the era to go along with the catchy songs. As I write this, their theme song is still stuck firmly in my brain. I’d love to get my hands on some vinyl of the soundtrack. Aside from the cool music, luckily it’s got a pretty unique story that blends elements of scifi, horror and even a bit of romance. It’s unexpected twists and turns deliver a frenetic, action packed finale that will leave you pondering the events of the entire film. Its all done with a heroic dose of heart too.
Just how far do you really go to live the life of a superstar without any of the hard work required to get to the top? The Stardust Bros go the distance and the musical journey is definitely a wacky one worth taking. Apparently director Makoto Tezuka tried to catch lightning in a bottle a few years ago by producing a direct sequel, but after doing a little poking around it doesn’t seem like he was quite to able to recreate the neon electromagnetic magic of the first.
In the meantime I highly recommend picking this one up on a newly released blu ray from SRS Cinema. The Legend of the Stardust Brothers is packed with pure charisma, tons of vibrant youthful energy and shows you exactly how inventive some directors in the 1980s were in Japan with a limited budget! Don’t sleep on this one!
Lost Gems of the 80s: The New Alfred Hitchcock Presents!
I’ve been delving deeply into old 1980s horror/fantasy television shows and lovin’ it, because one thing I’ve noticed is nobody does it quite like they did back then in the “golden era” of horror- Even when it comes to TV shows!
After watching the totally radical ‘Amazing Stories’ series and the Twilight Zone 80s revival I was sooo ready for more. Digging deep back into my memories of my childhood I clearly remember the obvious choice: ‘The New Alfred Hitchcock Presents’ that ran from ’85-1989.
I have some fond memories of this show and one episode in particular that stuck in my mind all of these years right up to today. Part of me was wondering if I’d maybe in fact dreamt up this particular episode of the show? Not the case. In fact upon watching the 1st few episodes it was clear, this was going to be a fun ride of full on nostalgia done to perfection! I imagine remembering an episode plot from well over 35 years ago is a good sign of a memorable show? I think so!
This series, at least for me. way back then was paired in a sort of “power hour” with Steven Spielberg’s ‘Amazing Stories’. The New Alfred Hitchcock Presents is full of twists, turns, star studded cameos and now famous directors. A mix of horror, suspense and most importantly MURDER, fuel this nearly forgotten gem. It originally aired on NBC but was canceled, later being picked up on the USA Network thankfully!
Nearly every episode has a familiar face, which really makes half of the fun here and every so often a surprise director comes comes on to the scene, like a particular episode called ‘The Jar’ which is helmed by Tim Burton himself and drips with his signature tone and style.
There’s also some great star studded appearances featuring the likes of Mark Hamill, Mia Sara, a VERY young Joaquin Phoenix, Martin Sheen, Michael Ironside And many more.
One of my all time favorite episodes is ‘Night Creatures’ one of the only 100% supernatural fueled episodes. It plays out more like an incredible schlocky neon drenched 1980s tv pilot than a single episode. It features a punk rock goth rock star who’s secretly a bloodthirsty vampire and would be a welcome entry into any 1980s heavy metal horror anthology!
There are so many excellent episodes here to behold, I really can’t recommend this series enough for those those eighties horror hounds in search of some memorable cheez. Of course there are some misses among the 40 plus episodes of 4 seasons. The show covers a lot of interesting but disturbing topics too like “kids playing with guns” in one of the most unsettling episodes you’re likely to see in the series and of course that classic episode that always stuck with me featuring a woman who’s been brutally assaulted and her husband heads off on his own to stalk the perp. The twist here is one of the most chilling of the entire series!
Lastly Martin Sheen shines as a crazy aging actor who’s hellbent on landing a role so much so that he goes to the extremes of murder to get what he wants! His performance is so over the top and enjoyable It’s by far one of the standout performances of the series.
This elusive little series deserves a sweet blu ray release, I found a bootleg copy of the entire series on eBay which has been a truly fun ride over the past few weeks! Luckily many of the episodes can be actually found right on YouTube. Hunt this long lost gem down and treat yourself to the golden era of mystery and horror with the new Alfred Hitchcock presents! Here’s a great episode to start you off!
Cult Flicks in DESPERATE Need of a Blu Ray: Crazy 80s Australian Gem ‘FORTRESS’!!
I’m back again continuing the second installment of nearly forgotten cult gems that desperately need a fancy blu ray release! Here’s one from 1985 that’s definitely ripe for the picking, a movie that I’ve owned on VHS for quite some time now that’s shockingly underrated and underseen by most cult classic cinemaniacs!
‘Fortress’ was released on HBO back in 1985 and later in 86′ it hit theaters in Australia where the movie was produced. It tells the simple story of a teacher (Rachel Ward) who’s tiny countryside shoolhouse comes under attack by shotgun wielding, masked psychos hell bent on taking her and the children captive, hiding them in a cave in the Australian outback.
All goes as planned until the seemingly mild mannered teacher decides to take matters into her own hands. The tension & level of suspense are through the damn roof as it becomes abundantly clear that their captors are no push overs and aren’t afraid to pull the trigger. We’re treated to plenty of action, suspense, some truly inspiring outback locales, creepy masked bad guys (one who dons a Santa Claus mask) and a bit of a darker Amblin “kids in danger” / coming of age style shocker here as well. It becomes an epic tale of cat & mouse survival where no one is safe and its anyone’s guess who’s going to bite the bullet.
Most notably, right around the third act the movie goes pretty off the rails when the teacher and her students become a major force to be reckoned with. Almost transforming into bloodthirsty “Lord of the Flies” territory in the shocking action packed, blood soaked finale. It’s got some excellent twists and turns that are likely to satisfy both fans of 80s action as well as horror.
The shocking end scene becomes even more perplexing and unforgettable cementing this firmly on the forgotten list of cult gems. It’s a real treat how dark this one goes. Trust me if you’re a fan of weird 80’s horror/thriller/action hybrid flicks then this one will not disappoint! There was a DVD release of this movie a while back that’s out of print now, this makes the need for Fortress to receive a special edition blu ray even more necessary. Plus with fan favorite Rachel Ward (The Final Terror/Night School/Against All Odds) as the film’s trusty heroine you get an added edge of star power.
Fortress packs a powerful punch and in many cases leaves you stunned and shocked by the roll of the credits. It’s a well executed unpredictable
Ozploitation film that more genre fans need to check out, just waiting to be someone’s new favorite cult classic!
Universal Dork 