VHS Verdict: The 1990s Fairy Tale “Horror” of RUMPELSTILTSKIN!

I saw ‘Leprechaun’ IN the theater back in ’93, my girlfriend and I were the ONLY ones in the entire theater! Of course I had a damn good time and believe that ‘Leprechaun’ sort of kick-started a little mini genre of “fairytale horror” in the 1990s. While the director of the original Leprechaun also made another movie a few years later 1995 Rumpelstiltskin! Yep Mark Jones the writer and director of the ’93 cult classic also gave the a similar treatment to this weird little one without the “success” of the Warwick Davis fronted franchise.

 Well last night I Pulled out my cool promotional copy of the VHS along with my projector, some friends, drinks and checked it out on the “big” screen.  In all honesty I’m not entirely sure that I’ve ever really seen this movie before (even though I could have sworn that I had). Nonetheless Rumpelstiltskin delivered the same ridiculous goods in the same fashion as the original Leprechaun. The best way to describe this one would be a sort of  “Terminator style” road chase movie- but instead of an imposing hulking cyborg you get a gimpy numb-nut fairy tale villain, who cracks ridiculous one liners while he chases a woman down trying to steal her baby to suck it’s soul!

In other words it’s a god damn good time! Our main mischievous villain here, Rumpelstiltskin, looks like he was plucked right out of Stephen King’s horror anthology ‘Cat’s Eye’.  He wakes up from a 1000 year slumber and dropped into the 1990s. This all after being turned into a small stone sculpture after a group of villagers hunt him down after he steals one of their babies. You might think that this guy would have a hard time navigating the ’90s, but quite the opposite. Rumpelstiltskin seems to be quite adept in nearly everything he tries, Whether it’s riding a Harley or driving a stick shift semi truck- ‘ol ‘Rumpy can do it! The funny thing is he comes across more like a character that might appear in ‘Ernest Scared Stupid’ than a wicked soul sucking goblin!

 It’s your fairly standard “being chased through the countryside road trip” horror formula (which I FUCKING love)- but it definitely does have a few really fun tricks up its dirty little sleeve. Our main character is a widowed single mom (Kim Johnston Ulrich) with a baby of course and some of this actually plays out a bit like a “Sex in the City” episode. She hangs out with her horny female friends, drinks wine and tries to navigate being single in the era with a baby…the last thing she needs is THIS weirdo throwing a wrench into being a mom!

There’s definitely a certain degree of unpredictability to some the characters we’re introduced to which makes this an even more interesting watch. Particularly when we’re introduced to a sleazy, cheezy, sexist TV host, who comes across a bit like a second rate Howard Stern. The type of character you won’t be seeing “rise to the occasion” in any movie coming out in 2023 that’s for sure. 

 However I’m a sucker for an unlikely pairing of characters ‘on the run’ from true danger in horror movies and this one really BRINGS it. You’re never quite sure who’s going to suffer the consequences from an encounter with ol’ Rumpy! If you’re a fan of the original ‘Leprechaun’ there’s definitely a lot right here to love, Some cool make up effects, pretty sweet action sequences, explosions and like Warwick Davis’s character, some great idiotically witty banter! Rumpelstiltskin is prime candidate for a sweet new blu ray. It’s really long overdue that he gets a cult following and the true recognition he deserves-this is a really sweet totally 90s horror comedy,  jam packed with ridiculous fashion of the time and characters you’re likely not to see anytime soon on the big or small screen. A great example that the 90s indeed does have some horror gems hidden within the decade! Track down this weird little fairy tale & turn off your brain to thoroughly enjoy the ride.. 

 

The MOVIE MELT Podcast’s Wildly Erotic Appointment with DR. CALIGARI!

It’s quite an interesting appointment when you’re set to pay a visit to a brand new new doctor & this week on the MOVIE MELT podcast we got one helluva check up by checking out 1989’s wildly erotic horror flick DR. CALIGARI! A bizarre nightmare from the director of the legendary plot centric-porno ‘Cafe Flesh’, Stephen Sayadian comes this equally strange dive into complete madness!

Yes! ‘Doctor Caligari’ is most definitely a weird one, an erotically gross dreamlike voyage into an insane asylum led by the daughter of the legendary 1920’s mad practitioner! There’s some serious problems when people become human guinea pigs of sultry doc as she performs  experiments on patients with the most extreme shock therapies and hormone treatments. the results are quite shocking in this avante garde slice of madness. It’s filled to the brim with neon sets, strange creatures, human sized tongues, babes, hunks, scarecrow hand-jobs and lots of nonsensical plot points that will drive you absolutely NUTS!

Also on this episode is a “best of” battle of the bands, featuring the most idiotic musical numbers and artists to grace the damn internet-listen to the stupidest songs duke it out for the ultimate prize-MOVIE MELT’s seal of approval. Plus we discuss some cool movies we think you’ve just gotta see and so much MORE including a discussion on deepfake penises!

Grab a case of beer, get cozy and ready for the good times to roll as we plunge into the weird ass cinematic world of DR. CALIGARI on the latest episode of MOVIE MELT! 

Comic cover of the Week: Satan’s Son to Save the Day?!

I still think one of Marvel Comic’s weirdest superheroes has got to be the Son of Satan! A handsome red haired devil of guy who fights on the side of good?! Yeah well you wouldn’t think so judging by the pentagram he boldly and proudly wears on his bare chest! Anyway you get the gist-a bit of a controversial fellow to say the LEAST. Well here’s a great cover all the way back from 1977 showing Daimon Hellstrom in a big battle with some pretty vicious demons! A great simple cover by legend Gil Cane!

1990’s B-Horror Classic ‘DEMON WIND’ Getting a Sequel?!

Yowza!! I’ve always thought some of the cool lesser known horror movies of the late 80s/early 90s should get modern sequels-I mean why not?! Especially with many of these lost classics now getting discovered by masses of new horror fans with awesome blu ray labels cleaning up often “only released on VHS” gems and repackaging them with lots of cool extras as well as a super sharp new restoration. Vinegar Syndrome did exactly that with 1990’s DEMON WIND and now it’s confirmed it’s going to get a brand new sequel 33 years later!! Ok though, before getting too excited here let’s see what the details are exactly on this one!

First, the official title is apparently going to be ‘DEMON WIND 2: The Serpents Coil’ and it’s NOT being made by the original’s director Charles Phillip Moore and from what I can tell he isn’t writing this one like he did the original. I think it’d have been cool to have the original writer craft the story plus I’m a fan of one of his other movies, ANGEL OF DESTRUCTION from 1994 featuring Maria Ford. Oh well….Instead part 2 will be directed by Eric Mathis from Grime House Films, who’s got only one feature film under his belt, a 2022 horror anthology called ‘The Macabre’, I’ve never seen it-so hey Eric if you’re reading this send me a copy for review! 😉 I guess I’d be basing how promising the ‘Demon Wind’ sequel will be on how well his first movie translates. Curious indeed. Here’s the trailer:

Hmmm…obviously ‘Demon Wind 2’ has too look a little more slick than this-but considering it’s a first effort, at least from the trailer, I’d say there’s still potential. Next I’m wondering if the sequel will have some of the 1990’s films original cast returning? I heard at least one of the cast members from the original might be on board, but to really add that legit inter-connective tissue it’s going to need some real ties to the first film.

Also I think, this modern sequel is going to need to have a similar look and steer away from shoddy CGI fx. I recommend going ALL in on practical effects-gory, gooey, slimey and bloody…oh and NO CGI blood-don’t make that mistake! It seems so far that he’s got a few peeps involved from ‘Full Moon’ and an FX artist Joe Castro who did work on ‘The Barn 2’. I’ve seen the first one and dug it-but I do need to check out the sequel, from the trailer though I’ll be honest the FX stuff doesn’t look quite on par with the first film-and that was a little ruff too.

 Still that doesn’t mean Demon Wind 2 won’t look awesome.. here’s what the director had to say himself about the sequel coming at us all 33 years later:

“I’ve dreamed of doing this for so long. Like many of us, I’ve been a huge fan of the original Demon Wind since I was a kid, when my older brother rented it and I secretly watched it after he left it out. For years, I’ve been trying to track down the rights owners, and I finally managed to arrange a phone meeting and work out a deal to produce this film!

My goal is to honor the tradition of the original, which had so many incredible and memorable creature and kill effects. We’re bringing the huge creature FX, loads of gory kills, and all the things we love as horror fans, and delivering them in a major way! We’ll explore the past, the characters, and their stories, and revisit the farm and Harcourt’s gas station, really play on all the things that made the original so great!”

I’m down for this film 100%, I definitely have my reservations though trying to recapture the B-movie magic of a for the most part, underrated gem from 1990. I like the idea of re-visiting the original’s locales but also hope they take it to a few new unique new creepy places. The last thing I’d want is essentially a modern remake/reboot that doesn’t live up to the original. I often times think someone attempting this type of sequel should really research what made the movies from this period look soooo good. Watching the trailer for ‘The Barn 2’ made me realize how cheap things can look when shot digitally, it looks just like it was shot in 2022, while trying to masquerade as an 80s film. Demon Wind 2 needs to have the look and atmosphere of the original even though I’m assuming it indeed takes place in current times. 1990’s Demon Wind was a lot of fun and the plot for part 2 sounds promising with occult researchers investigating a satanic murder site and stumbling upon an evil cursed ancient artifact that opens a gate from hell. Of course unleashing sinister creatures for another total bloodbath.

Fingers crossed that ‘Demon Wind 2’ delivers the gory goods, brings back some original characters and looks and feels a lot like the 1990 original. I don’t know if the original writer/director is still around or alive-but I think meeting or consulting with him would be a great idea too! I’m cautiously curious about modern sequels to lesser know horror classic-but I’ll be there for the show for SURE! Follow Grime House Films on Instagram for more juicy details!

 

Needs to be BLU: Brigitte Neilson’s 90s Sci-Fi Ass Kicker GALAXIS!

Today I’m starting a new series on U-Dork called “Needs to be Blu” Where I’m going to start documenting all of the movies that I’ve seen that most desperately need a fancy ass blu ray release! There are still some real gems out there that just aren’t getting the attention they deserve, are out of print on dvd or have only EVER been released on VHS format.

Today my recommendation to all those fancy labels out there like Vinegar Syndrome, Culture Shock, Arrow video, Visual Vengeance etc is Brigitte Nielsen’s sci-fi actioner GALAXIS aka Terminal Force released in 1994. Brigitte Nielson stars as a inter-galactic space babe who kicks a lot of ass coming across like Dolph Lundgren’s lady action counterpart. Check it out:

I wish she’d have had more cheesy roles like this(I’ve got to check out BODY COUNT still), she’s such charming presence and iconic femme fatale. In this particular film she really looks the part too, she dwarfs most of the men in height and doesn’t take a lick a shit from a single one of them. It’s a bit of a mix between The Terminator and Highlander and feels like it was shot in the late 1980s. It hits all the right beats for me- the fish out of water, light romance, charmingly idiotic characters, some genuinely fun special fx as well as a good sense of humor throughout. Plus Moll here who’s a great B-movie villain (check out ‘Dungeonmaster’ from 1984 for more proof of that) is of course a lot of fun to watch ham it up!

A cool little sci-fi “run for your life in a big city” adventure where Brigitte is your guide and Richard Moll reprises his “bad guy” role again as a sort of Darth Vader type villain. Top top it all off Sam Raimi even shows up for some of the fun early on and so do some stop motion robots thankfully. Lots of lasers, dark steamy alleys, ridiculous bad guys and of course Nielsen looking all sexy as the amazonian leather clad lead, just legit dumb fun that I’m always all in for.

Aside from Brigitte the co-lead John Brennan plays a charismatic numbskull treasure hunter who’s on the hunt for some strange artifact, one that Brigitte and Moll are on the hunt for as well. Along the way he of course gets mixed up in a boatload of shenanigans that Nielson usually has to solve by kicking someone’s ass.

The lucky guy gets to join forces with Nielson, and the two slowly fall for each other, too bad the evil Moll always seems to arrive before anything can ever really happen for the two! As far as dumb bad guys go too there’s a really over the top mob boss guy played by Fred Asparagus who somehow manages to be a major player in the action all the way up to it’s boiler room style finale. Obviously this is prime cheez, it’s fun, fast paced and largely forgotten- Someone release this on blu ray!

Comic Cover of the Week: The 1970’s LEGION OF MONSTERS!

Here’s an awesome comic book cover from the 1970s, that every time I look at it makes me wish that Marvel would have released a 1980s film about this particular team of superheroes. Imagine this being released as an 80s horror/action film, with special FX work similar to the Monster Squad?! I’d be in heaven!

Well as it stands I definitely DON’T need a Legion of Monsters movie personally that feature’s Jared Leto’s Morbius-However I’d take Nic Cage any day still as Ghost Rider as long as they could make him NOT look like a flaming TURD! I actually quite enjoyed the Werewolf by Night MCU mini movie, which featured Man-Thing too so hey were 3/4 of the way there already…hmmmm? I love this horror monster team from 1975 and the art work is pretty sweet and apparently the only Marvel Comics cover art ever done by Nick Cardy.

MOVIE MELT Podcast: 1988’s Bonkers Hong Kong Monster FX Genre Bender-PEACOCK KING!!

The Peacock King is easily one of the most ambitious hybrid Hong Kong films of the 1980s. It’s part horror, part adventure, part fantasy, part martial arts with just the right amount of comedic timing and 80s pop charm from the director of Riki-Oh: The Story of Ricky. Yes the Movie Melt podcast goes back to Hong Kong to give you as much information about this wild flick that we could humanly dig up! As well as so much more cinematic mayhem than your human brain can possibly comprehend! Episode #170 is a banger and I’m personally there to guide you  through the bizarre world of the Peacock King!

If you’re a fan of American genre bending films like Ghostbusters, Big Trouble in Little China or The Golden Child and have never seen Peacock King then you’re in for a real treat. This flick has all the right moves-80s fashion and adventure amped up to eleven. It’s just waiting for some cool boutique blu ray label to be snatched up and unleashed upon the western audiences.

Director Lam Ngai Kai is a mysterious figure in Hong Kong cinema but he’s also made a string of largely forgotten totally insane films unlike anything you’ve likely EVER seen before. Most people only know him from his ultra violent 1991 masterpiece ‘Riki-Oh: The Story of Ricky’. However most of his lesser know films are just as entertaining and over the top.

In my opinion he’s the best director of 80’s/ early 1990s Hong Kong cinema-like putting early era Spielberg, Sam Raimi and Peter Jackson into a blender. Total spectacle that pulls out every special effect in the 80s playbook and packs it into a lean mean location hopping adventure to stop portals from Hell from flooding open onto the Earth!

Check out the episode as we cover lots of must see films as well as do our best to breakdown this one of a kind director’s best films that’s likely to be a cult classic soon in the USA once the word gets out. LISTEN TO THE MOVIE MELT EPISODE RIGHT HERE!

Also check out this trailer and see a glimpse of Peacock King in all of it’s colorful glory:

Recommended EASTER Viewing: He-man vs The Evil EASTER BUNNY?!

Hey are you looking for something a bit out of the ordinary to watch today for Easter?! Well hopefully you haven’t forgotten that one time when He-man took on the “evil Easter bunny”…………how can anyone ever forget the truly sinister Plundor?!

Yes, Plundor has just GOT to be the strangest villain that He-man has ever squared off against. He’s also in pretty good shape, he must work out a-LOT! He’s also the perfect villain for today-EASTER Sunday. Yeah back in the 1980s Plundor made his appearance in the 19th episode of He-man and the Masters of the Universe, ‘The Quest for He-man’.

The wicked rabbit spent his time exploiting natural resources destroying the planet of Trannis. He ruined the forests, rivers and oceans ALL for-profit! He polluted the planet with filth, with his giant factory and that attracted the likes of He-man, Orko & Ram-man to go head on against Plundor to clean up his act!

The character never got his own classic action figure in the 1980s but in 2013 he was immortalized in the He-man and the Masters of the Universe Classics line action figures! He finally got his dues better late than never for such a weird-ass character. I remember him from the show in the 1980s and was always intrigued by how ridiculous he looked-one of those strange “cartoon only” characters. Well today is the perfect day to honor He-man’s most oddball nemesis! Today is YOUR day Plundor-make Easter an EVIL one! Here’s the whole episode:

 

‘CYST’ Brings Back Old School 80’s Gross Out Monster Mayhem!

Where have all the gross out out slimy monster movies disappeared to? Well if you’re in the mood for gallons of ooze, slime and pus you’ve come to the the right place with CYST. A 2020 monster movie that’s largely flown under the radar and brings back all the old style practical fx you might be been missing in 2023.

Set back in the 1960’s at a doctor’s office that specializes in cyst removals, we get the story of an insane practitioner who’s experimenting with a new lazer on patients and their bulging boils. The doctor played by Troll 2’s George Hardy, is really more like a mad scientist who takes pleasure in popping a plethora of enormous pus filled pimples, most of which explode directly onto our main character/heroine Patricia, a nurse who’s had it with the doctor and all of the slimy ooze she’s got to deal with on the daily. She’s put in her notice and it’s her last day on the job. The Doc, flustered about her sudden resignation, takes pleasure in all the pus way too much and he’s hell bent on using this new laser technique on a special patient with a large, ready to burst, boil on his back.

This however triggers the cyst to quickly develop a mind of it’s own-it separates from it’s host and shows it’s true nature-a rapidly growing one eyed monster. This disgusting beastie goes on a rampage and the patients, doctors, nurses and employees are inadvertently trapped inside the building. This begins a fight to the death with the tentacled monster, that looks like a more disgusting creature you might see in a nightmare version of H.R. Puffnstuff or Sigmund the Seamonster. 

Cyst is a neat little modern retro creature feature that tries it’s damndest to gross you out with all of the over the top pimple popping pus and blood. However, as gross as that all sounds it’s never very beleivable as all the ooze looks far too cartoonish to ever be taken very seriously. It’s instead plays out like a more disgusting version of Nickelodeon’s ‘You Can’t Do That On Television’. I think with Cyst’s super short run time (69 minutes), it’s black comedy and “try to gross you out” old school monster fx it’d be best described as almost like an excellent lost ‘Tales from the Crypt’ episode. If they ever revive the series they should look to Cyst for inspiration, it’d make for a modern “Crypt” crowd pleaser.

There’s a bit of black humor here too but it’s refreshing that for the most part it’s all played pretty straight. This could have easily devolved into another stupid modern tongue in cheek ‘Troll 2’ style attempt at a “bad” movie. Instead we get a lean old school monster movie with some charming characters and ambitious 80’s style creature and gore fx work here to really amp things up. Cyst is certainly not the greatest modern monster movie but it’s helluva fun ride-best to be absorbed with a gang of horror freaks and some stiff drinks. A pretty damn solid modern midnight movie! 

The Original “Ralph Bakshi” Style MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE 1982 Animation?!

The Masters of the Universe were always one of my favorite action figures and animated series of the 1980s! I had soooo many of the toys and watched the show every day after school. The cartoon series was a lot of fun but I always wondered later in life what a darker grittier version of the show might look like?!

A lot of their original artwork had a sort of “Frazzeta/Vallejo” style to it. It looked pretty edgy and dark in that 70’s fantasy style. Here’s a few of my favorite images of the artwork that show the darker fantasy potential to He-man and the Masters of the Universe:


I recently saw this 1982 TV ad, apparently the first commercial of the toyline, it raised my eyebrows a bit. The animation style has a grittier feel and I wonder if this version of it was ever on the table for the animated series? It definitely feels like a bit more time or frames were used for these limited sequences. That’s not to say the animated series didn’t have it’s charm but it does have a lighter feel to it. Check it!

This version almost feels more in line with something like “Fire and Ice”, Ralph Bakshi’s iconic sword and sorcery animated epic. Whatever the case I really love that a glimpse into the darker side of The Masters of the Universe exists even if just in a short animated sequence in an early 80’s toy commercial…..Oh and becuz it rules so hard here’s the Fire & Ice trailer! The guy kinda has a “He-man” vibe to him huh?