Tagged: review

NIGHT TRAP: Sega’s 1992 “Controversial” B-Movie VHS Video Game?!

Anyone else remember the intense horror of 1992’s interactive shot on video Sega video game NIGHT TRAP?! Me neither-but I stumbled on this oddity recently and was fully intrigued to somehow check it out. Well it’s not a video game that I’ll likely be able to track down to play anytime soon on a real consoles, we can watch all the footage though and see for ourselves what this weird lil’ B-movie video game is really all about.

Developed in 1992 for ‘Sega CD’ using SOV footage from 1987 the game concept was originally picked up by Hasbro but was suddenly shelved in 1989. However people were still sniffing around this intriguing interactive movie concept and Sega eventually bit and released it in 1992 and the game generated some real negative hype quick fast. Take a look at these “vampires” in one of the scenes that got it’s creators in HOT water!

The game’s story line was absolutely perfect for B-movie horror fanatics, featuring a teenage girl’s slumber party being overrun with bloodthirsty “vampires” while you watch “live surveillance” video of them and trigger traps around the house to foil the creatures of the night from feasting upon them for a midnight snack. Night Trap however brought along some big controversy though-it was discussed in a Senate hearing along with ‘Mortal Combat’ as being an example of violence in video games that corrupts the minds of youths in America and brings real life violence into the streets and suburbs-Night Trap was that intensely influential to young psychopaths everywhere apparently-who’d a thunk?!

It triggered a “rating system” for games, it must’ve been quite a wild bloodbath huh? Hardly, but it was wild enough to get huge toy store chains to completely remove it from their shelves. I definitely remember in the 90’s the campaign’s for censorship running WILD in the music industry but who knew an SOV horror video game could generate SO much intense governmental rage?! When you actually watch the game’s most “notorious” scenes it’s laughable that anyone would use THIS as an example for extreme video game violence. This is prime cheez and obviously early 90’s politicians didn’t know a good thing when they’ve seen it!

There really is no blood and it’s somewhat pathetic execution of said “violence” is pretty much just dumb fun. There’s vampires being foiled by amusing but sub par “home alone style” house traps and I guess it’s likely that some of the controversy came from the concept of a home invasion on teenage girls. Speaking of the teens a familiar face of the 1980s stars here as well, Dana Plato (RIP) known best as Kimberly in ‘Diff’rent Strokes’ starred in the game to really give it some 80’s star power super cred.

 This is such a cool little relic for fans of bad horror movies and VHS, to me it reminds me a bit of the “Dragon’s Lair” style game play. Where pressing buttons simply changes scenes and outcomes-rather than actually “controlling things”. Like a “choose your own adventure” style video game that really outraged those politicians-looking back they must feel like morons raising a stink about this cheeky, cheezy little video game. I suggest watching the full game on YouTube or check this video out-it gives you a great idea visually what this oddity was all all about!

TOTAL Pop Punk Nostalgia: The FIENDZ are BACK!

Waaaaay back in 1991 I discovered one of my favorite pop punk albums of all time: ‘Wact’ by The Fiendz. This was before the term “pop punk” was a dirty word and the mainstream was flooded by countless generic bands trying to ride off the back of Green Day’s success. Bands like the Descendents/ALL, Big Drill Car, Jawbreaker, The Parasites & Doughboys (amongst so many others) were changing the punk scene in the late 1980’s and one band that’s often not mentioned enough is indeed New Jersey’s The Fiendz who dropped onto the scene in 1987. They brought the pop punk classic album ‘We’re The Fiendz’ in 1989 and got to see them for the first time in Green Bay Wisconsin’s legendary punk venue Kutska’s Hall with Portland OR band Crackerbash in the early 90’s. Their albums ‘Wact’ and ‘We’re the Fiendz’ were part of my soundtrack of teenage years.

I think the NJ three piece had just as many chops as Green Day did in their heyday but unfortunately the band around that time time changed their sound quite a bit, leaving their peppy punk sound behind and going for a more polished refined style that to me was more reminiscent of Elvis Costello than the earlier guitar driven anthems. Looking back I think The Fiendz could’ve grabbed the gold with their original sound at the time but also respect (and liked) their later albums. I got to see them several times and even share the stage in the 90s while on tour with my bands King Friday and Ben Grim-not only were The Fiendz a great band live but also great humans. 

Well as the years passed I’d sort of assumed I’d maybe I’d heard the last of them, but lo and behold it’s now 2023 and they’ve returned with a brand new album called ‘Dummy’ that’s indeed more of a “return to form” to their original crunchy guitar rock sound. Packed with 15 solid nuggets of chunky pop punk/power pop is just what I’d been hoping for when I originally heard they had a new album on the horizon. Even better yet they took the album to their old pal Bill Stevenson (Descendents/ALL/Black Flag) to mix it and it sounds pretty awesome.

If you’re unfamiliar with The Fiendz they definitely had that classic sound that fit the bill (no pun intended) with Stevenson’s Descendents/ALL brand of frenetic pop punk styles. ‘Dummy’ is filled with their unique brand, cool unexpected time/tempo changes, huge harmonies and wildly catchy guitar work. There’s no mistaking a riff from The Fiendz for any one else’s either and it’s evident here they’ve went back to what originally made my teen self love them so much and appreciate even more so many years later. There’s some fast paced stuff that harkens back more to their late 80s debut album, mid tempo rockers and a few slower power pop style numbers to give ‘Dummy’ a nice balance while keeping the distortion on guitar amped up. Most of all it’s just a record that’s a ton of fun, with plenty of pop hooks to chomp on.

The band here really is flawless too, my only “complaint” is that I’d wished their original drummer Joe Darone, who contributed in other ways to the record would’ve been behind the skins again. Don’t get me wrong the playing here is excellent, but his style on the drums was one of the big highlights of their earlier albums and to really kick the nostalgia factor into hyperdrive his presence would have been the icing on the cake as a big fan myself. However this isn’t the first album he’s been missed on. That being said this a pretty nice return for a band that really deserves more praise from lovers of the genre- before it was watered down by mainstream record deals and MTV. The Fiendz are back and if you’re missing the classic sound of pop punk from the late 80s and early 90s the way I’ve been for so many years this album will bring it all back around full circle.

I’d love to see them on tour or at least get them opening a few shows for the Descendents (once Milo’s all healed up), fans of the iconic band would most definitely find their new favorite band they might’ve missed out on for all these years! Check out their new album HERE! 

Plus here’s one of my favorite Fiendz songs from their classic second album:

 

 

VHS Verdict: 80’s ‘Flesheaters from Outer Space’ Invade New Jersey!

Some ‘shot on video’ horror flicks can be a real challenge to get through in my opinion. I always give an “A for effort” but let’s face it, shooting a feature film on a camcorder in the late 1980s doesn’t always equal a real memorable viewing experience. However I can firmly say that if you’re in the mood for some highly ambitious, enjoyable trash that ‘Flesheaters From Outer Space’ all the way back from 1989 surely delivers the damn goods! 

It’s actually got quite an ambitious little plot going on for something made on a shoe string budget. Somehow director, Warren F. Disbrow, manages to for the most part pull it off while slipping in some heavy metal Jersey hunks and babes as well as gore a ‘plenty along the way.  As you can probably imagine the New Jersey area in this Nifty little horror film is a delight to visit and of course features a carnivorous space alien on the loose causing havoc major around around every seedy corner in town. The film goes in a lot of strange directions particularly having a hard time settling on one particular plot narrative to follow. It features a hunky heavy metal band, a woman with psychic powers, a “John Rambo” type drifter as well as an offshoot serial killer storyline trying to interweave into it as well. But all that aside this is really a movie to turn your brain off too becuz ‘Flesheaters from Outer Space’ also really manages to cram in some pretty gory and gooey C-grade monster affects as well for horror hounds to chomp on. Yeah there’s plenty of the red stuff flowing freely here, and a whole motley cadre of numbskulls for this hungry alien creature to munch on.

But it’s not all just horror here, there’s plenty of boobs, butts (men and women), wild 1980s parties, teenage drama and even some unexpected romance as well as a couple musical numbers by a pretty “impressive” glam rock band that’s slightly over stays it’s welcome in the best ways possible. I guess in a way it has a sort of “low-rent x files” type of thing going on as well, at around 90 minutes though it sure does oddly begin to feel it’s run time being much longer than it actually is. However I can’t say in this case it’s a particularly bad thing because this movie never gets boring-it’s is a pretty excellent party flick to enjoy with your friends and a couple of beers. That’s most definitely the best way to view this one. I think it’s likely because the movie goes in so many stupid directions that you feel like you’re getting an overload of ridiculous subplots and without spoiling it all it has one of those relatively abrupt but satisfying endings.

There’s also some pretty cool little twists that you probably will never see coming-I mean it’s no Alfred Hitchcock but it really tries to deliver you the goods and I’ve always got to appreciate the ambition the director had for his shot on video vision. Apparently they filmed a sequel for this in 1998 called ‘Invasion for Flesh and Blood’.

I’m gonna have to seek that out for sure and see if the lighting strikes twice. I see that Troma released this on a double feature disc-but back in the day it was released on video by In the meantime I’m looking forward to checking out the sequel. If you’re looking for something stupid to watch with friends on a Saturday night then this one’s sure to scratch your “so bad it’s good” movie itch. It’s really got it all and you can’t help but find the charm in a movie that really tries it’s best to go for the gold….Oh and there’s no trailer for this one online but there is for the sequel:

The True Sequel, ‘The Exorcist III’ Ignored By New Trilogy?!

Pleeeeez ‘Pineapple Express’ bros just stop trying to make modern sequels to the classic horror films!! Why has this disturbing trend continued after the dumb dumb Halloween rehash disaster?! Who decided that David Gordon Greene and Danny Mcbride are somehow the new John Carpenter and Clive Barker? This trend is a bit bizarre, I thought when they announced the Halloween “H40” trilogy which ignored all of the lore except for the first film that something strange was afoot. I mean Green and Mcbride were certain that their modern trilogy, which started off as a remake of H20 that erased that iconic 90s showdown, was actually a better idea than Halloween II from 1980 as well, a truly beloved sequel. Obviously a bizarre money grab bringing back Jamie Lee Curtis (to pretend her final showdown in H20 never occurred) and that Halloween 2018 was actually some sort of “new” idea, they seemed successful in somehow fooling the masses into coming along on their imo pathetic trilogy.

Now they are back again-this time to make the “REAL” sequel to the Exorcist-one of the most iconic horror films of all time. Danny Mcbride has apparently penned the true sequel we always deserved! Here’s the new trailer, that erases the events of all of the sequels.

Meanwhile, I’m here to remind everyone that an amazing sequel already exists to the Exorcist, one that was written AND directed by William Peter Blatty who wrote the original story/book to the beloved 1973 film. Everyone who is about to be tricked into this “new legit” timeline from the Pineapple Express bros, I just want to remind you The Exorcist III is the real sequel you need to see/revisit. Don’t let these guys fool you again. Just make sure to completely skip The Exorcist II(1977), it’s one of the worst horror sequels out there, even though it does indeed bring back Linda Blair as Regan. Thankfully Blatty decided to bring the Exorcist back into the spotlight way back in 1990.

The movie, based on his 1983 novel ‘Legion’, is a horror at it’s best and ties to the original film in a very unique and inventive way. In the third installment we follow Lt. William Kinderman, Father Damian Karras as well as Father Dyer, all characters from the first film, who’s in the midst of a murder investigation that oddly resembles a bizarre case of his from fifteen years back. On the trail of a what he believes to be a serial killer, things begin to manifest similarities to the demonic events that occurred almost two decades ago during the original Exorcist. Kinderman begins to suspect there’s more than meets the eye going on as the murders pile up and this time comes face to face with literal demons from the past.

It’s also got a great cast with the likes of George C. Scott, Brad Dourif, Jason miller & Ed Flanders but most of all it’s really it’s own unique legitimate chapter to the Exorcist story. The film is a slow burn but also thick with dread and doesn’t skimp on the scare factor either.

Greene and McBride have stated this is a direct sequel to the first film, of course attempting to capture lightning in a bottle again, this time with two little girls possessed and a poster that attempts to cash in on Blair’s iconic appearance from the original. The trailer also utilizes the classic ‘Tubular Bells’ theme to make the connection to the franchise, but with the overload of factory made demonic possession films we’ve had to endure over the last 20 years this one could easily be lost in the “Blumhouse” if not merely for it’s attached franchise name.

Could this sequel top the third installment? It’s certainly possible, but judging from early reactions I’ve heard it didn’t exactly grip audiences. I’ll give it a shot, but my gut feeling is David Gordon Greene is no William Friedkin and Danny Mcbride is certainly no William Peter Blatty. What this has inspired me to do is pull out the original and follow it up with the third installment to get fully possessed by the brilliance of the real rich lore and again wonder why exactly the Pineapple Express bros think they can yet again craft a better sequel than the series’ creator….. 

MOVIE MELT Returns for Uganda’s FIRST & BEST Action Flick!

The latest episode of Movie Melt is here, where we head deep into the jungle’s of Uganda to cover their very first and greatest action film! You better believe it, ‘Who Killed Captain Alex?’ is a truly special film that really goes the damn distance. This wild and totally unpredictable little production from 2010 comes with a true story behind it that’s maybe even better than the actual film itself!

Director Nabwana I.G.G. has a real love and passion for action flicks of yesteryear and against all the odds set out to make his dream come true-create Uganda’s first over the top bonafide bad ass action movie, complete with the craziest CGI “explosions” & helicopter battles you’ve ever seen! It so ridiculously ambitious and manic while being set in the beauty of Uganda just makes the whole experience that much more intriguing. 

It will make your brain melt. But It’s also got some pretty impressive top notch martial arts, wildly over the top villains and instead of the the normal audio track (which was accidentally erased forever by the director) we’ve got a dude named “V.J. Emmie” from Uganda doing a rip roaring “must hear it to believe it” commentary track to spice thing way up.

 Think Mystery Science Theater by way of Africa-with this bizarre version of the film being the only version in existence. It’s a real bonkers movie experience and the lengths the director went to make this movie a reality are a real charm-we get into all the incredible details of one of the most ambitious low budget cinematic gems out there. But this is only the beginning for Uganda’s intense string of films from director I.G.G.. We also do “battle of the bands” and dicuss all the weird movie mayhem going on today as well as chat about some must see rare forgotten gems in one of the most intriguing episodes of the show! Check this shit out RIGHT HERE!

Oh and if you wanna watch it before we take the deep dive it’s free to watch on Youtube. However I highly recommend supporting Nabwana’s future endeavors in Ugandan action at his website right HERE!! Also pleeez call our answering machine and leave us a message dial (724) 246-4669 and let us know what you think of the show or tell us about any crazy cinematic shit you’re lil’ heart desires!!

INDIANA JONES & The DIAL of DESTINY: A Modern Classic?

Well the wait is finally over, we finally got the sequel we’ve ALL been waiting for over 15 years right?! The ultimate redemption from the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull? The exhilarating final chapter in the Indiana Jones saga FINALLY done like a real Indiana Jones classic….unfortunately it isn’t the fifth installment, The Dial of Destiny. I don’t want to waste too much time here as everyone and their mom has got an opinion on this BIG summer blockbuster. It’s not the greatest Indy sequel as a lot of people out there are claiming and it’s certainly not the “worst movie of the year” as many professional Disney hating man-babies seem to be obsessed with proclaiming. Nope it’s just a very servicable, mediocre end to an epic iconic 80s franchise. It’s definitely a step above Kingdom of the Crystal skull, not by much, but it manages to feel a bit more organic in some ways at least. Based just on the story IMO Kingdom of the Crystal Skull remains the better Indy adventure at least on paper, but how poorly it was executed onscreen left even the most die hard Indy fans scratching their heads in disbelief.

 Well the latest installment tries its best(?) to make up for the wrongs of the previous movie. However it starts off feeling a bit too much like its predecessor with a de-aged CGI faced Harrison Ford in a far too long opening sequence jam-packed with tons of wonky CGI and green screen backdrops. This attempt at bringing a younger Indiana Jones to life really felt like an AI imitation at best. I’m still baffled that they didn’t choose to hire Anthony Ingruber for the sequence, whose uncanny resemblance to real life Harrison Ford in ‘Age of Adeline’ left fans clamoring for him to be cast as young Han Solo. Instead in true Disney fashion they choose to use some weird looking digital de-aging technique to try and capture the old magic. In my opinion they end up with something that feels a somewhat soul-less Chat GPT written imitation Indiana Jones opening action sequences.

From that point the movie slightly improves and we get taken on an adventure teaming up Indiana Jones randomly with his God daughter Helena, nicknamed “Wombat”. This character right now is being trashed by the people obsessed with “woke Hollywood”, I personally don’t see that angle here with her. All in all the character of Helena is just fine and never rises much anywhere above that. In many ways she’s essentially “the new Mutt Williams”, who was conveniently killed off, offscreen to make way for the new female sidekick who resembles his son far too much in attitude. I personally would’ve rather they stuck with the landing and just brought Mutt back rather trying to now set up & sell us Indiana Jones’s long lost God daughter, whose father was a “one off” character we’ve never seen before except in the first 20 minute CG heavy opening. I just didn’t feel the connection.

Also they do sort of pull a “Force Awakens” Hans Solo style treatment to Indiana Jones as he’s now separated from new wife Marion Ravenwood (who he just married at the finale of the last film) over the death of their son. We basically are forced to spend time in this installment erasing everything that came before in KOTCS and frankly to me it’s a little bit redundant. From there they embark on a globe-trotting adventure in a race against a group of modern day Nazi’s. They also team up with what I assume to be an attempt bring us a new “Short Round” in the character of Teddy. Unfortunately those shoes are just too damn hard to fill, and Teddy doesn’t quite have the charisma, that being said he’s an ok addition to the cast. The big problem here, everything is just sorta “okay” like a vanilla soft serve ice cream from McDonald’s. It’s totally fine if you’re jonesin’ for a cool treat and there’s nothing else around.

To make a loooooong story short ‘The Dial of Destiny’ is just too damn long, its “comedy” never fully lands, it’s action sequences (which mainly revolve around long car chases) aren’t particularly interesting and the whole thing just feels very unnecessary. Especially when it feels like it really doesn’t build upon what had come directly before it. That being said though, like the previous at least it didn’t spend its time trying to be a “best of/call back” adventure movie. It again at least has its own identity. Though it again did employ its fair share of CGI it was convincing enough to not pull us into the realm of another emabarrassing Crystal Skull experience. As a big fan I think there needed to be a few key things to really consider for a home run smash hit to a modern Indiana Jones finale: No CGI, film it ALL practical. No de-aging for his young opening, cast a REAL person. Bring back key characters that we care about to go on the adventure. Finish it off with at least a good George Lucas original story idea-just to keep it authentic. I spent some time years ago coming up with what I though might be a compelling way to craft part 5 –I posted that very idea HERE.

I’m really not exactly sure what the point of this last installment truly was, It actually just sort of brings things full circle back to the end of Crystal Skull. It features an aging adventurer who’s seen better days and had so many more exhilarating adventures than what they decided again to bring onto the big screen so many years later. I guess this really just might’ve been trying to set up a new franchise for Helena & Teddy? Sitting in the theater, I couldn’t help but think how incredible this movie could’ve been had they chosen to employ Ke Huy Kuan again as Short Round & for some of the movie at least utilizing Marion Ravenwood and maybe even his son Mutt. Moving things forward rather than course correcting. The fact that they didn’t choose to at the very least bring back Short Round is bewildering to me. Making me realize just how seriously out of touch big Hollywood is with what fans would find as a truly heartfelt send off for Indiana Jones’s final adventure. 

My final thoughts- I guess I can say this last installment was a lot better than i’d initially expected it to be. However it really made me realize just how badly I truly want them to stop making unnecessary “sequels” to my favorite 80s movies. Whatever filmmaking magic they were able to conjure up back then today feels like an impossibility. Again another missed opportunity to bring back the true heart and soul of  indiana Jones one last time. For me the fitting end was The Last Crusade, but today I witnessed the most mediocre finale to likely my favorite film series of all time….

Comic Book Cover of the Week: Classic ABSORBING MAN Mayhem!

Here’s a true classic comic that’s always been a favorite of mine since I was just a kid-I’ve always adored the cover too, it shows one of The Incredible Hulk’s fiercest villains as a major threat to ol’ Jade Jaws.

The Incredible Hulk #209 has got another perfect cover from Ed Hannigan & Frank Giacoia, featuring Crusher Creel dwarfing The Hulk as he puts him in a stranglehold. It makes me miss those old Hulk stories in a big way and the issue features the two in one of their best battles.

Sometimes I miss the simplicity of comic books from the 70’s & 80s, maybe it’s just nostalgia because I took this comic book with me everywhere I went, like it was an action figure or something. The Absorbing Man is most definitely one of my favorite bad guys in Hulk’s rogue gallery and this was my first intro to the character, the inside drawn by all time BEST Hulk artist Sal Buscema proves once again just why he was the man for the job for soooo many years.

This issue way back from 1977 will always hold a special place in my heart! It’s cover in particular is a potent look at one of the coolest villains of the green goliath….

VHS Verdict: Molly Ringwald’s Forgotten Australian Slasher Flick?!

So who knew Molly Ringwald starred in a full on supernatural slasher film in the year 2000? Not me-until recently I discovered the clever Australian Y2K horror movie ‘CUT’ that’s actually a pretty sweet nasty lil’ forgotten gem. Taking a few cues from ‘Scream’ but adding it’s own unique flair by joining the ranks of the ghostly “cursed movie” horror sub genre ‘Cut’ brings plenty of action and chills to the party.

Molly Ringwald was the biggest selling point here for me, even though I went into it expecting a total stinker, I was pleasantly surprised how much fun ‘Cut’ actually turns out to be. I’d also expected her role to be more of a cameo, but to my surprise Molly co-stars and looks just as cute as she did somehow way back in The Breakfast Club. But we also get a sweet cameo from pop icon Kylie Minogue to kick off the movie’s opening in a sort of “Drew Barrymore ala Scream” style sequence.

It starts off in the late 80s with Ringwald starring as a teen in a B-horror flick who’s slasher goes on a real life offscreen killing spree, halting production on the film altogether. The movie gets a reputation of being “cursed” and over a decade later a group of college film students attempt to finish the film when they come across the original unfinished footage. Of course they reach out to Ringwald to re-join the cast and against her better judgement she reluctantly agrees.

She flies all the way over to Australia and gives it a go while almost immediately, strange things begin to happen on set. Most notably the original film’s killer gets busy murdering once again behind the scenes off set and soon the whole cast begins to suspect something sinister is brewing. The villain here has got a somewhat generic but still solidly effective creepy look, lifting heavily from Carpenter’s Halloween.

I’d have preferred something a bit more ambitious appearance-wise but even so the slasher here is nasty enough to rise to above into his own and really gets the bloody juices flowing with some pretty gnarly kills. The whole affair looks great on film and the Director Kimble Rendall (who was part of iconic 80s alt rock band Hoodoo Gurus) brings a ton of charm to it all with a cast of pretty likable characters as well as some genuinely well crafted horror scenarios to munch on.

The film also wins big points with me when it inserts a supernatural twist with the cursed film stock which can be used in interesting ways to combat the ghostly killer. Ringwald goes the distance too and is clearly having a good time as she squares off with her “movie nemesis” in a game of cat and mouse with a little help from the Aussie film students. This one’s a real treat, especially if you’re an 80’s John Hughes fan-it’s so strange to see Molly in this type of essentially forgotten, oddball Australian horror production as well as Kylie Minogue in a brief but sweet appearance.

Even stranger yet is how ambitious ‘Cut’ turns out to be, filled with cool practical effects & a creepy little fast paced story filled with some campy twists and turns. I’m curious if this one was a minor hit in Australia? The VHS copy of CUT doesn’t sell the film very well with it’s (imo) poorly constructed cover art, if I hadn’t seen Ringwald’s name on the cover I’d have never even bothered. I enjoyed this enough that I quickly upgraded to the blu ray (from Umbrella) which does have better looking packaging as well a slick looking print of the film-‘Cut’ really was a nice little spooky surprise that I’m certain fans of classic 80’s and 90’s slashers (and Molly Ringwald!) will likely enjoy. It’s got some good scares, babes, hunks and the right killer supernatural moves to quench the thirst of lovers of the genre. It’s definitely a top notch Y2K slasher that is in desperate need of a bigger cult following outside of the land down under….

VHS Verdict: John Stamos Gets Sexy With an Apple in NEVER TOO YOUNG TO DIE!

After all these years I never knew that Full Houses’ John Stamos was actually an underrated 1980’s action star?! The proof is in the pudding with 1986’s incredible over the top action extravaganza ‘Never Too Young To Die’. This is one of those rare movies that really left me perplexed, just how it slipped through the cracks all these years? But that makes it even more fun to view for the very first time in modern times!

So not only does this movie feature John Stamos and all of his hunky glory but also features the mega hot pop star Vanity AND hard rockin’ tongue flingin’ Gene Simmons of KISS as one of the most bizarre cinematic villains. Aside from an incredible cast of colorful characters we also get a heavy dose of wild 80’s explosive action sequences as well as a pretty unforgettable sex scene that just needs to be seen to be believed. Yeah the steamy sex scene is one of the best I’ve ever seen put to film and easily one of the funniest, involving Vanity at her hottest, Stamos at his most ridiculously stubborn and an…….apple?!

Whoever came up with the whole sequence deserves an award and just in general this movie is an absolute blast that deserves a bigger cult audience. After a highly skilled secret agent is murdered, his son, who’s a hotshot high-school gymnast, teams up with his father’s super sexy female partner to stop a psychopathic trans-cult leader who had him murdered.

Gene Simmons tears it up in the role as the vicious villain who plans a major terrorist attack on the country’s water supply. Equipped with a killer middle finger nail, his signature gross tongue and some truly over the top outfits, Simmons fully commits to the role too. He steals the show as big baddie “Velvet Von Ragnor” and even performs a “cool” little musical number in the process. I forgot he played the villain a couple other times in the 80’s, the Tom Selleck sci-fi actioner ‘Runaways’ and again in the Rutger Hauer killer thriller ‘Wanted Dead or Alive’.

‘Never to Young To Die’ is easily his wildest role and who’d have ever thought we’d see Stamos and Simmons square off in an 80’s flick?! Also included in a minor role is Robert “Freddy Kruger” Englund who was a pleasant surprise to the cast. I’d say one of the film’s highlights are the villains in general-Simmons’ cult of evil post apocalyptic punks are a pure joy to behold.

They’re so damn over the top in fashion and attitude, making the movie’s mayhem that much more awesome with every little outrageous twist and turn. Stamos also shines using his “skills” as a gymnast as a “Gymkata light” style teenage action hero who teams up with his wacky roommate, a hi-IQ inventor of weird weapons to take on the villains. Then of course there’s Vanity in maybe my favorite movie role, a bad ass assassin who Stamos has a major boner for. Filled with everything that’s totally awesome about the 1980’s ‘Too Young To Die’ is a major winner in every way. Thankfully Shout Factory put out a super sweet blu ray that’s a must for retro action fans of the era! 

 

 

MOVIE MELT Podcast Covers Fangoria’s 1992 Northern Wisconsin Creature Feature: SEVERED TIES!

The latest episode of the Movie Melt podcast is a special one, especially for all of you “cheeseheads” out there-We cover the third Fangoria Films bizarro teen mad scientist monster flick ‘SEVERED TIES’ from 1992! This mostly forgotten gem was filmed in my home state of Wisconsin, way up north in my old stomping grounds-Rhinelander! WTF right? Why in the world would they choose the small town northwoods area to film NOT just Severed Ties but ALL three of their first feature films up there?!

Well the story is truly intriguing and on this episode we bring on special FX artist and native northern Wisconsinite Hank Carlson to tell his wild story of Windsor Lake Studios, the team behind ‘Hellraiser’ who decided to set up shop there. Hank fills us in on how as a small town teen with an unlikely dream of cracking into the biz as a make up artist, he somehow lands his dream job in the late 80s!

We get the scoop on horror history in the making and discuss ‘Severed Ties’ in all of it’s gooey glory! Plus a Wisconsin themed Battle of the bands in this ALL things Wisconsin horror movie mash up..

Who says dreams can’t come true?! Tune in RIGHT HERE to check out the episode and delve head on into one of the strangest horror films of the 1990’s: a practical fx creature feature that’s in desperate need of a fancy blu ray release and a devoted cult following…