Tagged: review
Fortress – Awesome 80’s Oddball Australian Survival Adventure at it’s BEST!!
So you’re looking for an awesome 80’s survival flick huh? Well look no further because “Fortress” from 1985 delivers the goods big time!! This one seems to be somewhat of a forgotten gem, it was released on HBO back in the 80’s and later in 86′ in theaters in Australia where the movie was produced. I take great joy in watching awesome (or bad) movies from the 1980’s that some slipped under my radar for some reason and this one pretty much non stop awesomeness. It tells the simple story of a school teacher who’s class comes under attack by shotgun wielding masked psychos hell bent on taking everyone captive and hiding them in a cave in the Australian outback.

All goes as planned until the teacher (Rachel Ward) decides to take matters into her own hands. You got a ton of action, some truly awesome locales, creepy bad guys (one who with a Santa Claus mask) and a bit of an Amblin “kids in danger” style film making here that was surely missed by the masses.

Right around the third act the movie gets pretty intense when the teacher and her students become a major force to be reckoned with. Almost transforming into bloodthirsty “Lord of the Flies” type savages the finale of this film is awesome.

Then add in the shocking end scene the movie becomes even more perplexing and unforgettable! Trust me if you’re a fan of weird 80’s horror/thriller/kids movie hybrid flicks then this one will not disappoint!! You can get this one right on Netflix too!
Crazy Crazy Cat Man: “ROAR” Finally Gets It’s Debut in the USA!
Holy shit! I had the pleasure of seeing a screening last night of one of the most insane flicks I’ve ever seen at the Hollywood Theater right here in good ol’ Portland, Oregon! Yep “Roar” from 1981 has been called the most dangerous film ever made. This is hardly an exaggeration- It took about five years to make. It’s story revolves around Tippi Hedren and Noel Marshall, (writer, director, actor in the film) along with Hedren’s real-life daughter Melanie Griffith and Marshall’s real-life sons John and Jerry.

Oh yeah and it also stars their real life adopted family of over 100 dangerous lions, tigers, panthers and cheetahs!! This movie is seriously insane, and had me cringing in fear around every corner as Noel Marshall is surrounded by these giant cats for nearly the entire movie. The plot is simple Marshall lives in Africa in a Swiss Family Robinson style house along with all of these man eating cats and a giant pissed off African elephant. The rest of his family (like in real life, Tippi in the movie, is his wife though they’re separated in the film) decide to drop by unexpectedly, only problem is dad isn’t there when they arrive….but the CATS are!

This movie is utter mayhem, filmed with just a loose plot, most all of the one million feet of footage shot depended on what the cats decided to do while shooting. These cats in the movie are considered Marshall’s harmless buddies, though he’s tackled, smothered and in the middle of raging giant cat fights pretty much nonstop throughout the film. To see these actors deliver their lines while in the midst of these beasts is quite a hilarious feat to say the least!

Now onto the other crazy fact of this film, no animals were harmed in the filming but over 70 cast and crew members were!! Much of the injury can be seen on film, though carefully edited. Here’s a list of exactly what when down via the Wiki page:
“Cinematographer Jan de Bont had his scalp lifted by a lion, resulting in 220 stitches. Tippi Hedren received a fractured leg and also had scalp wounds. This occurred after an elephant bucked her off its back while she was riding it. She was also bitten in the neck by a lion and required 38 stitches. This incident can also be seen in the film. Melanie Griffith(Hedren’s daughter) was also attacked, receiving 50 stitches to her face; it was feared she may lose an eye but in the end the wound was not disfiguring.
Jan de Bont after the lion attack!
Noel was attacked so many times that he eventually was diagnosed with gangrene. One of those incidents, he was clawed by a cheetah when protecting the animals during a bushfire that occurred in 1979. All animals were evacuated, though it took several years for him to recover from his injuries. Due to the injuries, turnover was high as many did not want to return to the set. Some of the lions also suffered from illnesses that reduced their population. John Marshall was bitten by one of the lions and required 56 stitches. His brother Jerry was bitten in the foot while wearing tennis shoes. He later jokingly said the lion had a “tennis shoe fetish.” Assistant Director Doron Kauper had his throat bitten open, his jaw was bitten, and one of the lions attempted to rip an ear off. He was also injured in the head, chest, and thigh. Although it has been reported that the attack nearly proved fatal, the Santa Cruz Sentinel on July 9, 1978 printed a quote from a nurse saying his injuries were acute. He was also reported as being conscious and in a fair condition.“

Sound pretty unbelievable huh? Well after watching this movie, which was never officially released in the US until now it’s pretty clear how the insane list of injuries is totally accurate with what you witness before you! There’s a ton of crazy stunts and an angry elephant scene that will scare the pants off of you! The cats were adopted by Hendren and Marshall from defunct circuses, zoos & irresponsible owners and given refuge at The Shambala Preserve just about 50 miles outside of Los Angeles which they started together. in fact you can still visit the preserve today. Before you do though make sure you do not miss this movie it’s a truly incredible piece of cinema and one experience you’re likely to never forget!
Lets Give M. Night Shyamalan One More Chance?!!
Well, well, well, it seems that M. Night Shyamalan has just dropped his trailer for his latest flick ‘The Visit’ and I’ve just got to say I really think he’s going to hit a home run this time! Ok so Night has struck out a LOT over the years as it seems each movie he directs gets progressively worse. But deep down in his heart I think he’s got a couple winners left to offer now that he’s kinda hit rock bottom. His problems often times are his “lessons” which he tries to teach within every movie. They come off a little too hokey most times, a little too feel good family friendly and at times a bit preachy. But many times his movies are pretty damn cool up until the final five to ten minutes.
The Visit was originally titled “Sundowning” a much better name as far as I am concerned, but perhaps he wanted to avoid giving away too much plot with the term. By the way Sundowning is a psychological phenomenon associated with increased confusion and restlessness in patients with some form of dementia. Most commonly associated with Alzheimer’s disease. For patients with sundowning syndrome, a multitude of behavioral problems begin to occur in the evening or while the sun is setting.

With The Visit it looks like Night is going for a much more straight up horror vibe something I’ve always wished for him to try. Let’s face it the guy knows how to create some truly nerve bending moments, straight up chills and a ton of atmosphere to tingle the senses. He’s done some real shit though too like The Happening, The Last Airbender and After Earth (I honestly liked all of his other movies-yes even Lady In the Water!). But “The Visit” I think just might catch people off guard as the first trailer looks exactly like what I’ve been hoping for him to try, a straight up horror romp. Let’s hope he doesn’t try and teach us some worldly lesson by the end. I’m also always down for a “twist” that’ll blow my mind, but these days getting a twist by and audience or a noisy internet is pretty much impossible.

Well now that was jumping the gun a bit huh?
So if you can find it in your jaded hearts to give Night one last chance I think we might all be surprised. I mean this one is truly his low budget independent micro film. Sometimes these overblown directors need to go back to the basics, hint hint Peter Jackson, Sam Raimi? Check out this trailer I think The Visit is going to be his comeback!
The Official Jared Leto “Juggalo” Joker: Totally SUCKS!
I just had to take a second quick to say that I hate this Jared Leto Joker. Totally Sucks!! Maybe the worst thing ever? Totally idiotic. A Nu-Metal/Rap Metal band from the year 2000 is missing their lead singer. The lovechild of Lil Wayne, Fred Durst and Marilyn Manson and some drunk Juggalos. The real Joker has class and a cool ass purple suit. Every second I look at this stupid ass picture I get more angry….AAAARG! Please give it up Hollywood….
Ok enough about that….

Yeah we totally INSANE BRO!! ICP wit da muddafukin’ JOKA!! Muddafukin’ FAAAAYGO time Beeeyatches!!! Muddafukin’ Juggalo Jared jump around like a muddafukin’ lunatic!! Craaaazy clown ass crackas!!!!
Oh yeah and check this rad video out, it pretty much explains it ALL!!
VHS Verdict: ‘Body Parts’ is a Forgotten Classic!
I do so much second hand shopping for my vintage clothing store Hollywood Babylon here in Portland Oregon and one of the best things about it is picking up awesome(or incredibly bad) old VHS tapes which end up for sale in the shop after I get done watching them!

Well one of my most recent viewings was a 1991 flick called Body Parts starring Jeff Fahey and Brad “Chucky” Dourif and let me tell you this one is a great creepy ass little horror flick!

I realize that this one here has pretty much been forgotten for some reason but it’s a well done thrilling and gory tale. It follows Fahey’s character Bill Chrushank as he loses his arm in an auto wreck and is given a chance to receive an arm transplant as a subject of a new experimental procedure.

Sounds like a bargain huh? Well that’s what Bill thinks until his arm begins to have mind of his own turning him into an aggressive dickhead who lashes out at his family! He begins a quest to figure out where this new arm of his came from and comes to find he’s not the only one who’s got recent limb transplants.

Nope he meets Brad Dourif who also got a new arm and has become a successful bizarro painter because of it. Shit gets pretty wild as the recipients of these limbs start winding up dead! This ones got it all, a clever creepy story, decent acting, gore, great fx work, action, car chases and some impressive stunts and some rad explosions!

A true forgotten and underrated gem of flick with a bit of an X-Files-ish vibe to it, in fact it seems to me that the X-Files may have stolen a bit from this one in the ‘I Want to Believe’ 2008 movie. Anyway hunt this one down it’s worth it!
Get in Shape with Linnea Quigley’s Horror Workout!!
This was news to me a few days ago, I had no idea that “Linnea Quigley’s Horror Workout” even existed! But back in 1990 the legendary scream queen best known for her appearance in Return of The Living Dead (among many others) actually put out the first horror workout video ever! Here you can see her getting the out of shape undead into some serious workouts and sweating their rotting asses off!

Expect of course that you’re going to see Linnea naked in this workout video, as that seemed to be in part what she was most famous for in the 1980’s, in fact the video starts out like a scene from “Creepozoids” with her showing off her bod in the shower. This one also gives you a full on history of the scream queen too before the creep-tastic working out happens! It also begins with a “serious” warning for those ready to give up their “Sweatin’ to the Oldies” vhs up for a moment it reads as follows:
WARNING : The activities depicted in this video are strenuous and highly physical in nature. They should not be attempted without first consulting your doctor. Since they can also become violent, you might also seek advice from a psychiatrist, clergyman, or criminal attorney. In any case, we accept no responsibility for any harm you do to yourself or to others after viewing this tape. Whatever happens, IT’S NOT OUR FAULT!
So if you’re tired of the same old workout I recommend hunting this one down on vhs or maybe on dvd as I believe it was released back in 2013 but maybe out of print again. Either way this one is most definitely not your average workout ! You can see most of this one right on Youtube!
Angry Video Game Nerd Adventures: Classic Video Game Brilliance!
Holy shit, sometimes I miss my classic video games! Back in the 1980’s playing the classic Nintendo 64 with rad games like Super Mario Brothers, Rygar, Mega Man and Castlevania (just to name a few)! Well it seems that The Angry Video Game Nerd misses that shit as much as I do as his classic game Angry Video Game Nerd Adventures is released for Wii U and Nintendo 3DS today!
If you haven’t check this one out check out the trailer it’s a helluva good time. if you’re missing the 80’s as much as I do then go challenge yourself with this one. Sometimes with video games you gotta keep things simple, the video games of the 80’s were a damn good time. I hope to see even more interest in the genre! Nice work Angry Video Game Nerd!!
Walking Dead #139 Review!
I know I’ve talked some shit here in the past about how The Walking Dead comic book had become a bit boring and that the whole dang thing has become a bit of a stale read. But now I’m starting to actually kind of dig the current direction of the book slowly but surely. We’re at a point now where things are beginning to become interesting again….I hope. In the previous issue, we had Carl losing his virginity to a weird girl who’s part of the clan who wears zombie skin on their bodies to go undetected by the undead. What things are looking like lately is that Carl actually just might be able to carry this book on his own someday replacing Rick. I really am enjoying this version of him filled with a bunch of teen angst and rage.

Issue 139 also shows the return of Michonne finally, and we learn what she’s been up to all this time and much more. We see the return of Ezekiel and see Rick’s crew venture to the coast where as you can see on the cover, people are indeed out venturing on boats. We also get an emotional long overdue conversation between Rick and Michonne and most interesting we see Carl’s raging hormones/teenage emotions brewing some serious trouble for everyone, whether they like it or not.

I’ve been with this book from issue #1 and it’s been quite a wild ride, some of it I have loved and some of it hasn’t been too inspiring. I see a light at the end of this tunnel and for the first time in a while I can say I’m looking forward to the next issue. Let’s hope things get totally out of hand here and Kirkman moves the book into some new directions, my fingers are crossed…don’t blow it Kirkman!
VHS Verdict: Let the Highway to Hell Take You Back to the 90’s!
I recently scored this cool flick from 1991 on VHS- “Highway to Hell” is a ton of fun! This is a great, totally forgotten flick with an incredibly ridiculous plot to keep the party going. It stars Chad Lowe, you guessed it Rob Lowe’s lesser known younger brother as the teenage hero who must rescue his girlfriend Kristy “original Buffy the Vampire Slayer” Swanson from an evil demonic cop who kidnaps her. Where does he take her you may ask? The Highway to Hell duh! Check out the movie poster which for some reason Kristy Swanson decided not to be featured on?!

Chad Lowe quickly manages to get a rad old classic car from a weird ass gas station owner who just happens to know the the story of the creepy cop and the Highway to Hell-how convenient! He sends him off down the mythic highway in a scene which seriously calls to mind Marty Mcfly in the DeLorean in Back to the Future. Soon Lowe is transported to another dimension where he must venture to find his lost lover and encounter some familiar faces from the early 90’s, most notably Ben Stiller as a crazy diner cook and the sexy vixen rocker Lita Ford! Yeeeeah!
This one’s a cooky adventure filled with a ton of lovably stupid characters, cameos and early 90’s fashion. And some of the best damn hand cuffs in the history of all cinema! Add a goofy climax race scene against the demon cop arranged by Beezlebub himself and you’ve got a sure fire hit for lovers of bad cinema. Don’t take this one too seriously but do watch it with a bunch of friends and plenty of booze!
Frankenstein Goes Underground with Mignola!
I Just read the brand new first issue of Frankenstein Underground that just came out today by Mike Mignola & Ben Stenbeck. This isn’t the first time we’ve seen Frankenstein’s monster in a Mignola story, nope he originally appeared in the Hellboy story “House of the Living Dead” back in 2011. A great little story where Hellboy has a short career in Mexico wrestling monsters and yeah Frankenstein’s Monster is one of his opponents/buddies.

That’s what I enjoyed so much about this first issue, it really ties in with a few stories from the ever expanding Mignolaverse. Don’t worry though this story is a simple one so far, it follows The legendary monster into the 1950’s where he’s helped by a witch and hunted by a familiar face from a classic BPRD adventure. It also appears that the title of this book should be taken quite literally as it’s clear the creatures adventure is headed far below-perhaps to hell?

This is a nice weird ass first issue with a great cover by Mike himself. Let’s face it how can you turn down a solo Frankenstein story written by Mignola that takes place in the 1950’s? I’ll be there for issue two because these days I’d rather spend my time in the unique world of the Mignolaverse than the generic confines of the Marvel Universe….

