Tagged: Movie

Deadbeat at Dawn: Bad Movie Bliss!

Sometimes I just leave my queue on Netflix run it’s course, I still have a Dvd account by the way, meaning that I have like two hundred movies in waiting. Often I forget to move stuff around and I get those weird wild card flicks gracing my dvd player. Sometimes when bored I’ll load up my queue with a bunch of weird shit I have never heard of. Often upon viewing these I end up much a much more elightened movie buff while other times the movies suck so bad I don’t last fifteen minutes. However this week I hit the jackpot! “Deadbeat at Dawn” is easily one the most memorable “bad” movies I’ve seen in quite some time.

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Filmed in 86′ and released in ’88 Deadbeat at Dawn was written & directed by Jim Van Bebber who also stars as the films main Character, anti-hero “Goose”. Bebber also did all the special effects and performs all of his own stunts, one of which Van Beeber jumps off a city bridge! This guy pretty much did anything it took to make this film as action packed with such a small budget. Nunchucks, ninja stars, gang fights, drugs, booze this one has got it all. It will make you think twice before joining a street gang that’s for sure! Goose however decides it’s time to quit the gang so that him and his girlfriend can start a legit life together. However when his girl is brutally murdered by gang members with golf clubs, he hits rock bottom and wants nothing more than to avenge her death, and boy does he get the damn job done!!

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It’s been quite a while since I have seen a movie with an ending that kicked so much ass. It’s jam packed with so much hyperactive action it’s hard to keep your breath. Seriously, the last 30 minutes, which Bebber apparently filmed first to try and generate interest in this film from the industry back in ’86, is some of the most ridiculously awesome cinema I’ve seen in years. That’s not to say the film isn’t a bit on the nasty side as there’s not really one likable character in it. Nope, pretty much everyone is a mean spirited prick even the lead character Goose. Even when Goose is trying to be “nice” he still comes across as a total fucktard. We really only see glimmers of a good guy toward the films finale, what can you expect from a self proclaimed “Deadbeat” huh? Well all that aside it’s pretty inspiring filmaking by a guy who wanted to make a film you wouldn’t forget, I know I won’t forget this one anytime soon…

Older Movies With Bad CGI! I Call for a Special Effects Do Over!

Ever watch a movie a great movie with terrible CG? Of course you have! I’m not sure about you but they really tend to bother me. Movies that are so good but the CG skills just weren’t up to par and just leave you with an empty feeling inside. There’s tons of movies that fit into this category and as I recently rewatched “The Frighteners”, one of Peter Jackson’s best films, I had an idea. What if Weta were to redo the CG effects in that film? What if they released it as say the ‘Ultimate Edition” or whatever lame new name they could come up with. Imagine how much better that movie would hold up today if the CG was tweaked?

I think a LOT of movies in the 1990’s and even in to the 2000’s sufferered from a case of “not quite ready” CG. Some of those movies were pretty damn good too. Let’s take a movie like “The Mist” which is one of my faves, however the CG in the movie is laughable and when it hit’s the screen I cringe every time. But what if they had a few people touch it up? Or redo it all together? Imagine The Mist with better effects. Would there be an outcry from fans? Would people say “how dare they” like when Lucas added all of his extra bullshit to the original Star Wars trilogy? Or do people hold their terrible CG effects sacred like us old Horror buffs do with the practical old school effects of the 70’s and 80’s? An interesting question I’d like to know the answer to I think.

Hell Lucas could even do over the CG in episodes 1-3! I wouldn’t even make a peep! In fact since he likes adding shit constantly to his old films I say we start a campaign to get him to ad respectable CG to all of those films! Honestly that CG was some of the worst shit I have ever seen. So what do all of you think? Do you stand by the terrible computer generated effects of the earlier years? Do you hold them sacred? Close to your heart? Or would you like to see maybe just how they should have could look today? I mean nothing would have to be re-shot they could simply erase the old. I could be onto something? Or perhaps just crazy…

This Christmas The Krampus Gets More Than He Bargained For!

Here’s a little picture drawn by yours truly, an idea I hope to someday illustrate to comic book form. This one is called “A Creature Was Stirring” and it’s based on the idea of the legendary Krampus who comes to collect naughty kids on Christmas eve, following Santa’s orders. Things have run smoothly through time for the Krampus as he every year makes his rounds to the homes of mischievous kids all over the world. This particular year however he has run into some problems as he’s met his match in a child who’s not only ready for the Krampus but may be the death of him! Happy Holidays everyone-maybe by next Christmas it’ll be a real book!

Krampus Comic Book

Nightwatch: Marvel’s Biggest Unsuccessful “Spawn” Rip-Off! Or is He?

I actually only recently discovered the obscure Marvel character called “Nightwatch”, who’s most comedically undeniably a rip off of Spawn! His first appearance was Web Of Spider-man #99 from 1993 and to be honest back in 1993 I wasn’t all that taken with most Marvel titles except maybe Claremont and Jim Lee’s X-men reboot. So it’s no wonder I missed out on this guy. The stories & artwork during this period of comic book history is less than flattering, I’m no big fan of Erik Larsen, Wilce Portacio and the gang to be honest. Well the artwork in “Web” during that times was done by Alex Saviuk and it’s pretty god damn awful. So let’s move on…who the Hell was Nightwatch? Was he really a rip off? First check out his picture…

Ok so we can agree that perhaps he looks an awful LOT like Spawn! But who came first officially? Well it was indeed Spawn who came first in May of 1992. There has been rumors that Mcfarlane actually created “Nightwatch” before he left Marvel and that Spawn is actually a rip-off of his own character. After searching around the web I honestly couldn’t find the info anywhere on who officially created the character. Could it be true? Could Nightwatch be the legit orginal bad-ass that was created first before the success of Spawn? Well it got me thinking aside from his appearance what other similarities do they share?

Number one they were both African American. Two they both died, Doctor Kevin Trench (Nightwatch) witnessed his own murder, a future version of himself killed by terrorists, where he discovered the living suit which he acquired off of his own dead body. Spawn was also murdered by a mercenary. Three, they both had living shape shifting capes. So yeah pretty much the same thing. The interesting thing is that Trench is supposedly in a time loop unable to stop himself from discovering his older self. So it’s entirely possible we could see Nightwatch return someday. Perhaps then we can ask him who his creator was? Oh Marvel in the early 1990’s how I love to hate you…

The Hobbit’s Animal Cruelty Allegations-What are the Facts?

This has got to be some of the most unsettling movie news I have heard in a long, long time. Allegations of major animal cruelty have been cast upon Peter Jackson and his crew while filming the first installment of the mega blockbuster ‘The Hobbit’ just over two weeks before the film’s set to debut here in the United States. This is terrible news as this movie has been one of my most anticipated if not most anticipated films for years.

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Peter Jackson has been a favorite of mine since ‘Bad Taste’ and The Lord of the Rings trilogy being one of my top 3 favorite films ever. But The Hobbit is being blamed for twenty seven animal deaths some being horses goats and chickens. Here’s what I has been reported so far via Huffington Post:

“Animal wranglers involved in the making of “The Hobbit” movie trilogy say the production company is responsible for the deaths of up to 27 animals, largely because they were kept at a farm filled with bluffs, sinkholes and other “death traps.”

The American Humane Association however, which is overseeing animal welfare on the films, says no animals were harmed during the actual filming. But it also says the wranglers’ complaints highlight shortcomings in its oversight system, which monitors film sets but not the facilities where the animals are housed and trained.”

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Jackson and the films producers reject these accusations saying that no animals were mistreated during the filming of the Hobbit. This however may be true but where the animals were housed at, a farm nearby, is where these animals died. Apparently the farm was wasn’t fenced properly and the bluff and sinkholes are where many of the animals died. There were also reports of chicken maulings by dogs and many instances were due too poor oversight of the animals. There have also been allegations that the animals feed was causing deaths as well.

Several stars of the film like Elijah Wood claim that this is merely a reaction from angry wranglers who were let go from the film trying sabotage the release. He claims he never witnessed any animals being harmed. However I really doubt Elijah was hanging out at the farm where they were kept too often.

It seems to me that this story has been kept thus far for the most part incredibly quiet, I only heard about it first last night and the story broke almost a week and a half ago. It could be the studio keeping it as hush hush as possible as to not deter people from seeing the movie. Or maybe I am just out of the loop. Personally this is a story I want to follow as it does affect my decision of supporting the movie. This films budget was over $500 million dollars, I can’t believe that Jackson and crew were unable to keep these animals safe, because at the end of the day at least 27 animals died due to being involved with this movie. Protests of the movie’s premiere are already being organized all over the world. What do you think? Could this affect whether you see The Hobbit?

Iron Man & Hulk: Heroes United….CG Film at it’s Worst?!

I just viewed the trailer for the upcoming Iron Man & Hulk: Heroes United animated Marvel movie and well I’m not impressed in the least. This is the kind of animation I just can’t stand. I am totally fine with CG animated movies, ones that actually look like someone spent some time on them. However this so far looks like a cheap video game opening sequence.

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I really can’t believe after Marvel released the A-Mazing “HULK Vs.” double feature cartoon that this is what we get next in animation from Marvel. This trailer also makes the film look incredibly boring and tacky. Come on Marvel you can do better! I mean you’re definitely not hurting for money-so it’s time to up the ante as DC seems like they are really stepping up the competition with their latest animated features!!

Slim Pickins’ for 2012 Holiday Horror…

The season is upon us again already! My how times flies huh? Well I decided to do a quick little bit of research to find out what this Christmas brings in the way of Holiday Horror. What I found was barely worth mentioning! Nope there will be no “Rare Exports” this year at the theaters. If you haven’t seen Rare Exports you better ad it to your list, it’s easily the one of the best Holiday Horror films ever made. What we will get really is another remake on the 30th with a limited release.

‘Silent Night, Deadly Night’ has been renamed simply ‘Silent Night’. It actually looks ok, well maybe I am just saying that because of Malcom Mcdowell starring in it. Here’s the trailer to a movie I hadn’t even realized was being released.

Well that can’t be the ONLY holiday Horror flick this year can it? Nope there’s another one that when I read about sounded like a winner. ‘Christmas with the Dead’ is based upon a short story by Joe R. Landsdale who also wrote Bubba Ho-tep. However hold your excitement because this one looks like a real clunker to me….

Lastly I found one other movie with holiday themed Horror this year, it’s called ‘The Christmas Mummy’ and appears to be a no budget horror flick made in Wisconsin, my home state and played this year at the Oshkosh Horror Film Festival. I really only found this one trailer for it, but it looked like a fun little movie made by some film makers in the heart of America’s dairyland. So to throw some props out there for their creative efforts I am posting what appears to be the only trailer for this film….

My question to all of you is – did I miss something?

Nukie Nuked My Brain!

Saturday night I had the pleasure of watching NUKIE a little known shiny turd of a film from 1988! It was jam packed with crap! It followed the story of an annoying pair of aliens who crash land on earth, one in Africa and one in America. It’s supposed to be like some sort of hybrid of E.T. and Close Encounters except just really ultra suck-tas-tic in about every way imaginable!

This movie tries pretty hard to be cutesy and have a lot to say but in reality it’s just an excuse to use and animatronic alien head for two hours! Yeah that’s pretty much all this one has got ‘going’ for it and once the semi decent Nukie puppet alien face charm wears off you’ll be wondering how the hell this pile of dung ever got funded! This movie is full of weird stereotypes as well.

Nukie our main alien character runs around the African fields with his runny nose and befriends a pair of local tribal boys. There he does weird dances for them, asks random giraffes if he’s in America, irritates locals, transforms into blue glowing orbs and hijacks a helicopter with a monkey in a diaper. Yes this movie also features a weird ass super fucking annoying talking chimp who of course wears human clothes.

When he first appeared on screen and started mouthing off his incredibly irritating dialogue I had to restrain myself from getting off the couch and throwing my friend’s television out the damn second story window! From what my Nukie-fried brain can remember there wasn’t a single reason why this chimp could or should have the ability to speak english. Perhaps just being in the presence of Nukie gave him the superhuman ability to become one of the most annoying talking animals I have ever seen on screen. Later that night I had repeated dreams about washing that chimps mouth out with a bar of poison soap! Yep he makes the movie worthwhile alone!

That’s not all though, Nukie’s twin buddy Niko hangs out at this super boring NASA base, and every time they cut to the NASA scenes the movie suddenly sounds like the opening narration to an episiode of Dragnet! Yeah and boy do they love to show the same view of the NASA building over and over and over. There though Nukie’s buddy is experimented on by super lame scientists that hang out around a super computer that essentially does nothing but spit out useless information and weird ass dance music.

The rest of the movie is kind of a blur, but Nukie and Niko finally meet up and escape and guess what? They actually take the talking chimp along with them! I mean these two aliens have got to be suffering from severe nuclear brain damage to do a thing like that? If only we could get a sequel that followed these three idiots around for another 2 hours! Beware of this films it sucks bad and MUST be watched!!!

He’s BACK: Arnold Returns to the Big Screen as King CONAN!

Word on the street today is that Arnold finally used some of his barbaric wisdom and decided to return to the screen as one of his best roles of well…all time. Deadline reports that he’s indeed reprising his role as Conan the Barbarian. I blogged here that it was the one role that would truly make sense for him at his age in his career. The first film ended with an older King Conan sitting on his throne in a pondering position remember? Well it seems that he’s going to put on the crown for another adventure! I am a big fan of the first two films…yeah I even like the second one-so what?! So to me this is exciting news!

Also I might add that just one night ago I finally decided to give the new reboot of Conan a watch. Yeah it totally blew, but honestly not quite quite as bad as I was expecting. It was however just plain bad and not quite painfully bad. Momoa was though was a pretty god awful Conan and I can see why it was panned so hard by critics. So it’s nice to know I can erase it from my mind! Now Arnold will really need to hit the Gym because we all know we can’t have a flabby ass Conan!

The movie will be called The Legend of Conan and this is what Deadline reported from the films producer: “The original ended with Arnold on the throne as a seasoned warrior, and this is the take of the film we will make,” Malmberg siad. “It’s that Nordic Viking mythic guy who has played the role of king, warrior, soldier and mercenary, and who has bedded more women than anyone, nearing the last cycle of his life. He knows he’ll be going to Valhalla, and wants to go out with a good battle.”