Tagged: Horror

Insidious 3 Delivers the Scares!

The Insidious franchise is one I’ve been quite intrigued with for quite some time. I really enjoyed the concept of the first movie as it was one of the first horror flicks I’d seen which at it’s core used the OBE (out of body experience) or as many know it Astral Projection as the main plot device. A truly original basis for a “ghost story” and a topic in which the first had gotten me quite interested in researching. It was a breath of fresh air in Hollywood horror, a lean and ultra frightening movie that literally had me cringing in my movie seat. Add in the appearance of Lin Shaye (who’s been in countless movies from my childhood) in a similar role as the kind of Zelda Rubinstein character in Poltergeist for that little bit of nostalgia factor and you have a super fun fright film. However the second chapter didn’t impress, it was bland and a bit boring much like most big Hollywood horror sequels trying to quickly cash in on the success of the first film.

So I had quite low expectations for Insidious 3 and I’ve gotta say it actually turned out to be quite a good time! It’s simple story is about a young girl being terrorized by a weird ass ghost who wears a respirator on his face and leaves behind gross tar like footprints wherever he appears. This one’s focused a lot as well on Lin Shaye’s character and how she  joined forces with the two younger paranormal investigators from the first flick.

 

The movie itself actually has some impressive acting as well when usual the third flick in a franchise can bring a cast of stale actors together for a mega bland script. This chapter also has a ton of scares around every corner. None of these are the kind where loud music blares and it’s nothing scary at all, like a cat jumping out of shelf or something. Nope every scare is actually something pretty gosh dang frightening. The only thing missing was exactly who and what the films creepy villain really was? I guess not everything can be explained right? This one also delves deeper into “The Further” the astral dimension where Shaye’s character really shines, it’s a pretty cool sight to see this old woman battling demon’s there with her dreamlike powers manifesting while she quietly sits in a chair in a deep trance in the “real” world.

Well plain and simple they succeeded in a pretty sweet little third entry in the franchise, it’s already got me excited to re-watch the original again. Check this one out if you’re looking for a nice creepy little movie that gets your hear a racing then this one is certain to do the trick!

Cat Crazy: The Top 10 Feline Flicks of ALL time!!

It seems we have so many movies we can bring to mind that involve dogs as their stars, yet I’ve noticed when it comes to feline focused flicks there seems to be a bit of a shortage! Well I’m here today to give you a list of 10 of the best cat-riffic movies of time! The cat’s just don’t seem to get enough respect in the movie industry, I’m betting that is because it seems much more of damn hassle to get a cat do exactly what you want on screen, but cat lover’s rejoice- here’s some must see movies that you and your cat can get cozy with and have hours of serious bonding!!

1. Cat’s Eye (1985)

This one was a favorite of mine as a kid in the1980’s and it still holds up to this day! A great little three part horror anthology with the cat at the center of all the action. Especially in the the awesome third act of the movie where you get to see the feline do serious battle with a maniacal little troll!! My cat totally digs this one-it’s his favorite movie hands down!

2.  Uninvited (1988)

Wow now this movie just plain RULES it! Total cheezy cat horror that’s bound to get any movie party in the mood to rage! This one features a cute little cat that’s got a demonic rat like creature living inside him that comes out to kill people when ever the cat get stressed out! The special effects in this one are awesome in the worst way possible! This freakazoid cat jumps onto a yacht with a bunch of dingbat college kids and some annoying criminals and has a jolly good time ripping them to shreds! A true feline classic!

3. The Cat From Outer Space (1978)

This one is a crowd pleaser for cats and humans alike! This one features a crashed spacecraft with an alien cat as it’s pilot. The cat’s got some weird ass name and he can communicate with humans. Of course the authorities are after the cat so they can do stupid experiments on it. But a man named Frank is there luckily to help this feline escape earth, kinda like E.T. with a cat! 

4. Strays (1991)

Another domestic house cat horror flick, which my cat seems to always totally dig! This one features a family who adopt some strays but end up with a whole horde of vicious cats terrorizing their household! This one isn’t really going to scare anyone but it might make you think twice before letting the cute lil’ stray into your home for a bowl of milk!!

5. Felidae (1994)

This is a cool animated German feline flick that’s sure to get your cat’s heart a pumpin’! We have some great animation as well as a cool mystery that a cat decides to solve! This one might not be best for the little kids as it revolves around a string of cat murders in a neighborhood, but it’s a good one for any cat who’s looking for a little suspense between their naps! 

6. The Black Cat (1934)

This one doesn’t have nearly enough cat action in it, but most cats will appreciate the fact that there’s a creepy black cat that causes a helluva lot of fear to some travelers who seek medical attention after an accident on the road in Hungary. The cat takes the back seat a bit in this one but at it’s core is the center of dread throughout the movie! Also cats seem to just dig the movie’s name a lot.  

7. Aristocats (1970)

This is a classic cartoon for people of all ages and cats alike! This one involves some cats who inherit a mega fortune from their owner and a butler who’s pissed off about it! I guess I can kinda understand the butler’s frustration here, I mean what the hell are cats going to do with a bunch of money and material shit anyway?! Well the butler decides to kidnap the cats and from there a whole ball of kitty mayhem ensues!

8. Homeward Bound (1993)

Another Disney movie that this time features a real life cast of animals. It’s got a cat teaming up with a couple dogs who find crazy adventure as they head off to find their real owners! This movie had some controversy around it because of all of the dangerous scenes the animals filmed. But as far as I know none of the animals were harmed in the filming, just real stressed out! This one I recommend talking about with your cat before viewing it to see if perhaps it’s going to get upset about the controversial side of this one, but also be sure to mention it’s got Michael J. Fox voicing one of the characters and Sally Field as the cat. I mean that’s some serious star power right?   

9. Sleep Walkers (1992)

This is a pretty rad Stephen King horror film about some weird ass people who can transform into “Were-cats” and choice of dinner is human virgins! Dang! Well it just so happens that their weakness is the domestic house cat who can see through their disguise and whose bites and claws can literally destroy them! My cat loves the final attack scene with the horde of house cats and the flaming explosion!! My cat totally loves Clovis the cat and has modeled much of his behavior after him!

10. A Cat In Paris (2010)

This one is a great animated foreign feature for the distinguished cat in the family! A great little adventure that features a cat who aides his owner in burglaries around Paris. Soon though the adventure really gets cookin’ when the cat himself has to help a little girl escape from the clutches of some evil gangsters! This one has it all mystery, action, class and cat courage galore!

and one more that deserves an honorable mention…

11. That Darn Cat (1965)

This one’s full of fun as a frisky cat aides a woman who’s been kidnapped find her freedom! The cat here leads the FBI on the ride of their life! If your cat likes vintage 1960’s fashion that’s a plus here too! 

Universal Dork’s Picks for Cool New Movies!

Ok so we all saw Avengers: Age of Ultron, and while I was amused by it, it really to me felt like a bit of a repeat of the first movie. If there’s one thing I don’t need ANY more of is The Movie Avengers fighting giant hordes of shiny clone like CGI enemies in the third act demolishing a big city. Like not ever again. So enuff about that shit and the giant Hollywood Blockbusters, here’s a quick list of some movies I am personally looking forward too that should be hitting theaters soon!

Cooties:

I’m sick and tired of Zombie movies. We don’t need any more at all probably ever again for the rest of eternity. But for some reason this one is a little different than the usual fare. A virus that only effects people who’ve not gone through puberty?! Cooties looks like a great time and funny too!

Forbidden Empire:

This one looks like a total trip and jam packed with neat looking monsters! Basically the tale of a guy who’s dead set on mapping out Transylvania (never a good idea folks) and while doing so discovers a secret forest that holds a ton of creepy creatures! This looks like my kind of flick!

Backcountry:

I think this one is already out in select theaters, though it hasn’t hit my city yet. Anyway I’m a big fan of survival movies and giant crazed grizzly bears! So here we get both! This one looks like it’s got the perfect blend of survival and jaws like terror in the woods! Sign me up for a camping trip in Backcountry!!

The Final Girls:

I’ve been hearing some great things about this one which looks like a total riot. It’s basically the story of a group of teens who are transported into a supernatural slasher movie from the 1980’s! This film stars one of the teen girls mother as the scream queen, so it has a bit of a Back to the Future vibe. She has to team up with her mom in a fight for her life-I hear this one has a ton of laughs and a lot of heart-Still no trailer for this one but we have a neat-o clip! check it!

Harbinger Down:

I’ve been pumped about this all practical effects monster movie for the longest time! It looks like in 2015 we’ll finally get to see this one. It’s basically “The Thing” on a boat!! A kind of redemption for the lackluster Thing prequel we got in 2011-by the same team who worked on the effects that were scrapped for CGI. Can’t wait!

 

 

Fortress – Awesome 80’s Oddball Australian Survival Adventure at it’s BEST!!

So you’re looking for an awesome 80’s survival flick huh? Well look no further because “Fortress” from 1985 delivers the goods big time!! This one seems to be somewhat of a forgotten gem, it was released on HBO back in the 80’s and later in 86′ in theaters in Australia where the movie was produced. I take great joy in watching awesome (or bad) movies from the 1980’s that some slipped under my radar for some reason and this one pretty much non stop awesomeness. It tells the simple story of a school teacher who’s class comes under attack by shotgun wielding masked psychos hell bent on taking everyone captive and hiding them in a cave in the Australian outback.

All goes as planned until the teacher (Rachel Ward) decides to take matters into her own hands. You got a ton of action, some truly awesome locales, creepy bad guys (one who with a Santa Claus mask) and a bit of an Amblin “kids in danger” style film making here that was surely missed by the masses.

Right around the third act the movie gets pretty intense when the teacher and her students become a major force to be reckoned with. Almost transforming into bloodthirsty “Lord of the Flies” type savages the finale of this film is awesome.

Then add in the shocking end scene the movie becomes even  more perplexing and unforgettable! Trust me if you’re a fan of weird 80’s  horror/thriller/kids movie hybrid flicks then this one will not disappoint!! You can get this one right on Netflix too!

Lets Give M. Night Shyamalan One More Chance?!!

Well, well, well, it seems that M. Night Shyamalan has just dropped his trailer for his latest flick ‘The Visit’ and I’ve just got to say I really think he’s going to hit a home run this time! Ok so Night has struck out a LOT over the years as it seems each movie he directs gets progressively worse. But deep down in his heart I think he’s got a couple winners left to offer now that he’s kinda hit rock bottom. His problems often times are his “lessons” which he tries to teach within every movie. They come off a little too hokey most times, a little too feel good family friendly and at times a bit preachy. But many times his movies are pretty damn cool up until the final five to ten minutes.

The Visit was originally titled “Sundowning” a much better name as far as I am concerned, but perhaps he wanted to avoid giving away too much plot with the term. By the way Sundowning is a psychological phenomenon associated with increased confusion and restlessness in patients with some form of dementia. Most commonly associated with Alzheimer’s disease. For patients with sundowning syndrome, a multitude of behavioral problems begin to occur in the evening or while the sun is setting.

With The Visit it looks like Night is going for a much more straight up horror vibe something I’ve always wished for him to try. Let’s face it the guy knows how to create some truly nerve bending moments, straight up chills and a ton of atmosphere to tingle the senses. He’s done some real shit though too like The Happening, The Last Airbender and After Earth (I honestly liked all of his other movies-yes even Lady In the Water!). But “The Visit” I think just might catch people off guard as the first trailer looks exactly like what I’ve been hoping for him to try, a straight up horror romp. Let’s hope he doesn’t try and teach us some worldly lesson by the end. I’m also always down for a “twist” that’ll blow my mind, but these days getting a twist by and audience or a noisy internet is pretty much impossible.

Well now that was jumping the gun a bit huh?

So if you can find it in your jaded hearts to give Night one last chance I think we might all be surprised. I mean this one is truly his low budget independent micro film. Sometimes these overblown directors need to go back to the basics, hint hint Peter Jackson, Sam Raimi? Check out this trailer I think The Visit is going to be his comeback!  

VHS Verdict: ‘Body Parts’ is a Forgotten Classic!

I do so much second hand shopping for my vintage clothing store Hollywood Babylon here in Portland Oregon and one of the best things about it is picking up awesome(or incredibly bad) old VHS tapes which end up for sale in the shop after I get done watching them!

Well one of my most recent viewings was a 1991 flick called Body Parts starring Jeff Fahey and Brad “Chucky” Dourif and let me tell you this one is a great creepy ass little horror flick!

I realize that this one here has pretty much been forgotten for some reason but it’s a well done thrilling and gory tale. It follows Fahey’s character Bill Chrushank as he loses his arm in an auto wreck and is given a chance to receive an arm transplant as a subject of a new experimental procedure.

Sounds like a bargain huh? Well that’s what Bill thinks until his arm begins to have mind of his own turning him into an aggressive dickhead who lashes out at his family! He begins a quest to figure out where this new arm of his came from and comes to find he’s not the only one who’s got recent limb transplants.

Nope he meets Brad Dourif who also got a new arm and has become a successful bizarro painter because of it. Shit gets pretty wild as the recipients of these limbs start winding up dead! This ones got it all, a clever creepy story, decent acting, gore, great fx work, action, car chases and some impressive stunts and some rad explosions! 

A true forgotten and underrated gem of flick with a bit of an X-Files-ish vibe to it, in fact it seems to me that the X-Files may have stolen a bit from this one in the ‘I Want to Believe’ 2008 movie. Anyway hunt this one down it’s worth it!

Russell Brand to Play “Jesus” on The Walking Dead?!

Ok, so that’s not true in the least! Russell brand is NOT up for the role of the Walking Dead character (not that I know of at least) but the more and more I see Jesus in The Walking Dead comic books the more and more I think that artist Charlie Adlard is basing his likeness off Mr. Brand! Could Mr. Adlard be a Trewser?!                                 

Zombies beware! True News! Subscribe here!

 So hey who knows maybe I’ll start some buzz here to get the comedian the role? Not to say he’s looking to be on the show, but I’m a big fan of Brand these days and his “Trews” alternative media news program. If you haven’t already checked it out it’s pretty hilarious and he’s totally dead on with things in the political spectrum of the world.

As far as if he appears in the tv show and who will play the gay badass in the television series remains a mystery but I am going to call it here-let’s get Russell Brand to play Jesus I mean he already looks the part and I’m quite sure he’d be a welcome addition to the show!! Let’s make it happen! Can’t you see the resemblance?

Here’s Brand…he wouldn’t even need to change his appearance one iota!

And finally some Trews!!

Get in Shape with Linnea Quigley’s Horror Workout!!

This was news to me a few days ago, I had no idea that “Linnea Quigley’s Horror Workout” even existed! But back in 1990 the legendary scream queen best known for her appearance in Return of The Living Dead (among many others) actually put out the first horror workout video ever! Here you can see her getting the out of shape undead into some serious workouts and sweating their rotting asses off!

Expect of course that you’re going to see Linnea naked in this workout video, as that seemed to be in part what she was most famous for in the 1980’s, in fact the video starts out like a scene from “Creepozoids” with her showing off her bod in the shower. This one also gives you a full on history of the scream queen too before the creep-tastic working out happens! It also begins with a “serious” warning for those ready to give up their “Sweatin’ to the Oldies” vhs up for a moment it reads as follows:

WARNING : The activities depicted in this video are strenuous and highly physical in nature. They should not be attempted without first consulting your doctor. Since they can also become violent, you might also seek advice from a psychiatrist, clergyman, or criminal attorney. In any case, we accept no responsibility for any harm you do to yourself or to others after viewing this tape. Whatever happens, IT’S NOT OUR FAULT!

So if you’re tired of the same old workout I recommend hunting this one down on vhs or maybe on dvd as I believe it was released back in 2013 but maybe out of print again. Either way this one is most definitely not your average workout ! You can see most of this one right on Youtube!

VHS Verdict: Let the Highway to Hell Take You Back to the 90’s!

 

I recently scored this cool flick from 1991 on VHS- “Highway to Hell” is a ton of fun! This is a great, totally forgotten flick with an incredibly ridiculous plot to keep the party going. It stars Chad Lowe, you guessed it Rob Lowe’s lesser known younger brother as the teenage hero who must rescue his girlfriend Kristy “original Buffy the Vampire Slayer” Swanson from an evil demonic cop who kidnaps her. Where does he take her you may ask? The Highway to Hell duh! Check out the movie poster which for some reason Kristy Swanson decided not to be featured on?! 

Chad Lowe quickly manages to get a rad old classic car from a weird ass gas station owner who just happens to know the the story of the creepy cop and the Highway to Hell-how convenient! He sends him off down the mythic highway in a scene which seriously calls to mind Marty Mcfly in the DeLorean in Back to the Future. Soon Lowe is transported to another dimension where he must venture to find his lost lover and encounter some familiar faces from the early 90’s, most notably Ben Stiller as a crazy diner cook and the sexy vixen rocker Lita Ford! Yeeeeah!

This one’s a cooky adventure filled with a ton of lovably stupid characters, cameos and early 90’s fashion. And some of the best damn hand cuffs in the history of all cinema! Add a goofy climax race scene against the demon cop arranged by Beezlebub himself and you’ve got a sure fire hit for lovers of bad cinema. Don’t take this one too seriously but do watch it with a bunch of friends and plenty of booze!