Tagged: forgotten
BAD Movie Nite Christmas Style: A LIGHT IN THE FOREST (2003) From the Director of TROLL!!
Here’s a recommendation for all you goons out there looking for something stupid to watch this year on Christmas that’s sure to displease the merry masses: 2003’s ‘A LIGHT IN THE FOREST’ this utterly forgotten weird-o Christmas flick from the FX mastermind John Carl Buechler isn’t remembered for a reason-if you love bizarre yuletide films filled with ridiculous plots, idiotic characters- good and bad creepy witches, bad magic and practical effects monsters then you’ll sure melt your brain with this lost trapped on VHS gem!
Tobe Hooper’s FORGOTTEN Y2K Horror Bangers!
One era you NEVER think of when it comes to TOBE HOOPER’S iconic horror career is the Y2K 2000’s era of his filmography BUT he’s actually made some total bangers during that era and today we’re gonna talk about his largely forgotten slab of horror cinema from that era and in particular 2005’s MORTUARY! A film no one talks about but deserves its place along some of the best of the 2000’s cinematic terrors!
The Director of The HITCHER (1986) Returned to the Road Horror Genre in the 2000s with HIGHWAYMEN!!
Today I tackle the largely forgotten 2004 road rage horror of HIGHWAYMEN! In the 2000’s Robert Harmon, director of THE HITCHER (1986) returned to the horror genre to deliver more of his signature “road terror” with this largely forgotten film that I feel deserves to be talked about a LOT more. Features Jim “Jesus” Caviezal and Rhona Mitra in a fight against a psychotic serial killer who stalks random people using his old beat up demonic looking car as his murder weapon. The most URGENT car chases ensue in a tale of road revenge delivered by the master of the genre himself!
‘DIE HARD’ This Christmas?! I Say Watch ‘TURBULENCE’ From 1997 Instead!!
What to watch this Christmas season?! People seem to always talk about DIE HARD as being the “go to” holiday action thriller to watch during the holidays but this year I checked out a movie that’s WAY more Christmas vibes than the Bruce Willis jam-1997’s TURBULENCE has eluded me for WAY too long. I’m not quite sure why I waited so long to see this one I guess I thought it was some stupid action movie but it’s so much more. I have seen turbulence 3 heavy metal and that was a ton of stupid fun so I guess I sort of figured that the first movie must have something interesting to offer at least? Recently I read a synopsis of the first turbulence and found out that it took place on Christmas. Of course I was immediately intrigued and had to dig deeper. So a couple nights ago I decided to go there finally & am quite pleased to say that this one delivers the shit on pretty much every damn level. Something I really wasn’t expecting was a new holiday classic. But hey, that’s exactly what I think Turbulence is for this holiday!
First off let me say that the film’s main plot was nothing like what I’d expected it to be for all of these years- Comparing ‘Turbulence’ simply to being “Die Hard on a 757” would simply be an injustice. Turbulence is just as much an action movie as it is a slasher film as it is a Christmas film! Checks all three boxes and we’ve got a winner here. The first thing I was pleased to notice is just how prominently the Christmas holiday is displayed front and center in it, yeah it bleeds holiday charm from nearly every shot in the most rewarding ways.
So if you’re a holiday fanatic looking for a reason to throw this movie on you just simply have very excuse to do rightly do so. There are Christmas trees everywhere, holiday decorations hanging from every house and then even the plane that it takes place on is SO draped in holiday decor it’s almost at times too much (if that’s even possible?!). There’s Christmas music playing, there’s ‘It’s a Wonderful Life’ being shown on the plane as its featured movie- this film’s about as holiday themed as they come. It’s the story of a man who seemingly framed by the police being tied to a string of serial killings on Christmas Eve.
Ray Liotta, stars as the man taken captive by the cops and quickly transported on a nearly empty 757 jumbo jet airliner during the holidays-What could go wrong right? Even adding more to it’s charm, it also stars the love interest from ‘Dumb and Dumber’ Lauren Holly and Andy Barclay’s mother from ‘Childs Play’ Catherine hicks as flight attendants on this wild ride in the sky filled with you guessed… it some dangerous turbulence and serial killer!
So even though it REALLY delivered the heavy holiday vibes it also played out out much more like a horror film, (SPOILERS) with Ray Lotta going “full unhinged psycho” in the best way possible. It’s actually got some strong slasher elements, just set on an out of control plane on Christmas Eve.
It’s a really fun concept and there’s some pretty great atmosphere here to soak up, as well as some pretty sweet totally tense action sequences. Liotta really shines here to, hamming it up as the movie’s likely wronged “protagonist” who I thought was destined for onscreen redemption (and maybe some romance?) with a great ridiculous plot twist that suddenly shifted things into the horror thriller genre on the dime.
The huge plane is the perfect place for a square off with a psycho high up in the sky-having plenty of creepy Christmasy corridors to run and hide to during a tense game of cat and mouse. A somewhat super stupid but thrilling little roller coaster ride that’s a perfect holiday party film too. There’s not a dull moment in sight and frankly I’m not surprised this spawned a couple sequels, I’d just never realized how full throttle “Christmas” themed this one actually was and how well it crosses over into the horror aspect of things-even supplying an awesome “final girl” to take on a total maniac on a jumbo jet. I really dug ‘Turbulence’ and it was a pleasure seeing for the first time during the holiday season! This year if you’ve never seen it I’d say it’s a must if you’re looking for a relatively seldom talked about horror thriller that’s got the holiday spirit in FULL effect!!
Thanksgiving 2023 Movie Pick: Rock n’ Roll Mimes, PCP & Magic Tricks in 1981’s Forgotten Holiday Slasher HOME SWEET HOME!
So it seems ‘Blood Rage’ has been ALL the rage as “the first” Thanksgiving slasher flick, the go to holiday horror-BUT what about the homicidal “roid rage” of 1981’s turkey dinner of terror ‘HOME SWEET HOME’?! Yeah- this year it’s time for a new musclebound maniac to go fully unhinged and ruin the family gathering. Home Sweet Home is like Lou Ferrigno jacked up on PCP obliterating anyone who gets in his way on turkey day. He’s literally a brainless hulking beast-who for some unknown reason has gone fully ballistic. Yes this one’s flown under the radar for FAR too long!!
It’s also got a pretty god damn ridiculous cast of characters that get together during Thanksgiving for a total feast- one being a young man named “Mistake Bradley” (how awesome is that?) who dresses up like a mime all the time especially for Thanksgiving and shreds some hot licks on the guitar at the drop of a dime! This guy definitely should have been the main character, one of the most bizarre slasher victims, hands down that I’ve ever seen put to film. He’s also likely one of the most irritating characters you could ever have at a Thanksgiving gathering! Unbelievable. He’s to me at least the main reason to watch this weird little early 80s slasher. Oh yeah and he wears a guitar amplifier backpack!
But honestly this guy is not the only character that has to be seen to believe be believed here, most of the people at this gathering are complete boneheads. and he’s most definitely NOT the only one who plays guitar all the time- there’s also an over the top “Mexican” woman who busts out into ridiculous songs at any given moment also. It just so turns out Mistake Bradley is in love with her too. A horny couple also arrives in they’re convertible and decide randomly to try to have sex right out in front of the driveway, in broad daylight as the people inside are getting ready for Thanksgiving dinner. Meanwhile 80’s fitness icon Jake “Body by Jake” Steinfeld roams around sweating his ass off, with his muscles bulging, murdering seemingly random people any chance he gets. He opens the movie by mowing down an old grandmother (in a car he’s just stolen from a guy who’s neck he’s just broken) while she’s innocently walking in the cross walk.
He also has “Home Sweet Home” tattooed on his hand and continuously laughs like a total psychopath after he does the deed. Yeah most of this movie is a real site to behold but right around the third act the film sadly does start to drag a little bit as most of the film’s most insanely idiotic characters have already been slaughtered like a Thanksgiving turkey. I really hoped they’d all team up to destroy “Insane Jake” but ultimately the tone shifts wildly and these charming idiots are sadly just there to be prey for the big guy.
I can’t tell you how depressed I was when the “rock and roll mime” Mistake was taken out of the equation, I mean he also randomly performs ridiculous magic tricks for the guests who were clearly NOT interested in his shtick. I really do think he’s one of the greatest movie characters I’ve ever seen, so for THAT alone this movie is a must watch.
Unfortunately the version that I watched on YouTube must have been a rip from an old VHS tape and most of it was incredibly hard to see especially the dark scenes at night. Pure blackness..surely this thing could’ve used a tighter edit in the third act (even though it’s only 83 minutes long) but I think it’s most definitely is a contender for a sweet blu ray release where you can actually see what the hell is going on during the night time finale. The VHS version of this too is a pretty penny to purchase. So home Sweet Home has got a lot going for it, there’s plenty of hot babes here too, hunky morons, a few wild inventive kills and a cast so wild it gives ‘Blood Rage’ some serious competition for best Thanksgiving slasher!!
VHS Verdict: 80’s ‘Flesheaters from Outer Space’ Invade New Jersey!
Some ‘shot on video’ horror flicks can be a real challenge to get through in my opinion. I always give an “A for effort” but let’s face it, shooting a feature film on a camcorder in the late 1980s doesn’t always equal a real memorable viewing experience. However I can firmly say that if you’re in the mood for some highly ambitious, enjoyable trash that ‘Flesheaters From Outer Space’ all the way back from 1989 surely delivers the damn goods!
It’s actually got quite an ambitious little plot going on for something made on a shoe string budget. Somehow director, Warren F. Disbrow, manages to for the most part pull it off while slipping in some heavy metal Jersey hunks and babes as well as gore a ‘plenty along the way. As you can probably imagine the New Jersey area in this Nifty little horror film is a delight to visit and of course features a carnivorous space alien on the loose causing havoc major around around every seedy corner in town. The film goes in a lot of strange directions particularly having a hard time settling on one particular plot narrative to follow. It features a hunky heavy metal band, a woman with psychic powers, a “John Rambo” type drifter as well as an offshoot serial killer storyline trying to interweave into it as well. But all that aside this is really a movie to turn your brain off too becuz ‘Flesheaters from Outer Space’ also really manages to cram in some pretty gory and gooey C-grade monster affects as well for horror hounds to chomp on. Yeah there’s plenty of the red stuff flowing freely here, and a whole motley cadre of numbskulls for this hungry alien creature to munch on.
But it’s not all just horror here, there’s plenty of boobs, butts (men and women), wild 1980s parties, teenage drama and even some unexpected romance as well as a couple musical numbers by a pretty “impressive” glam rock band that’s slightly over stays it’s welcome in the best ways possible. I guess in a way it has a sort of “low-rent x files” type of thing going on as well, at around 90 minutes though it sure does oddly begin to feel it’s run time being much longer than it actually is. However I can’t say in this case it’s a particularly bad thing because this movie never gets boring-it’s is a pretty excellent party flick to enjoy with your friends and a couple of beers. That’s most definitely the best way to view this one. I think it’s likely because the movie goes in so many stupid directions that you feel like you’re getting an overload of ridiculous subplots and without spoiling it all it has one of those relatively abrupt but satisfying endings.
There’s also some pretty cool little twists that you probably will never see coming-I mean it’s no Alfred Hitchcock but it really tries to deliver you the goods and I’ve always got to appreciate the ambition the director had for his shot on video vision. Apparently they filmed a sequel for this in 1998 called ‘Invasion for Flesh and Blood’.
I’m gonna have to seek that out for sure and see if the lighting strikes twice. I see that Troma released this on a double feature disc-but back in the day it was released on video by In the meantime I’m looking forward to checking out the sequel. If you’re looking for something stupid to watch with friends on a Saturday night then this one’s sure to scratch your “so bad it’s good” movie itch. It’s really got it all and you can’t help but find the charm in a movie that really tries it’s best to go for the gold….Oh and there’s no trailer for this one online but there is for the sequel:
The Original “Ralph Bakshi” Style MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE 1982 Animation?!
The Masters of the Universe were always one of my favorite action figures and animated series of the 1980s! I had soooo many of the toys and watched the show every day after school. The cartoon series was a lot of fun but I always wondered later in life what a darker grittier version of the show might look like?!
A lot of their original artwork had a sort of “Frazzeta/Vallejo” style to it. It looked pretty edgy and dark in that 70’s fantasy style. Here’s a few of my favorite images of the artwork that show the darker fantasy potential to He-man and the Masters of the Universe:
I recently saw this 1982 TV ad, apparently the first commercial of the toyline, it raised my eyebrows a bit. The animation style has a grittier feel and I wonder if this version of it was ever on the table for the animated series? It definitely feels like a bit more time or frames were used for these limited sequences. That’s not to say the animated series didn’t have it’s charm but it does have a lighter feel to it. Check it!
This version almost feels more in line with something like “Fire and Ice”, Ralph Bakshi’s iconic sword and sorcery animated epic. Whatever the case I really love that a glimpse into the darker side of The Masters of the Universe exists even if just in a short animated sequence in an early 80’s toy commercial…..Oh and becuz it rules so hard here’s the Fire & Ice trailer! The guy kinda has a “He-man” vibe to him huh?
Bizarre Holiday Viewing from New Zealand: 1981’s The MONSTER’S CHRISTMAS!
OK Are you reeeeeally looking for something to watch that’s truly off the beaten path to this holiday season?! Look no further, the 1981 lost classic ‘The Monster’s Christmas’ all the way from New Zealand will stuff your stocking with some truly bizarre yuletide treats!
This is a genuine bonafide oddball all the way from New Zealand that sort of feels like a fucked up version of HR Pufnstuf. The monster’s Christmas features some pretty genuinely impressive fully disturbing creatures for a kid’s Christmas special. I mean take a look at this guy hes one of the most frightening things I’ve seen probably in the last decade!
That’s “Mr. Nasty” the creepiest henchman of an “evil” witch who is obsessed with exercising, who lives inside of a mountain deep within a beautiful natural cavern. But I guess I’m jumping ahead little too quickly here. Our story starts out on Christmas Eve with the cutest little New Zealander you’ve ever seen, who just happens to be reading a book called ‘The Monster’s Christmas’ to her Teddy bear before bed. If this is a real book, I need to find a copy ASAP!
However it doesn’t take long before she’s awoken by a noise in her living room and instead of finding Santa there’s a giant green cyclops monster with a smokestack on the top of his noggin and some sort of creepy floral oozin’ eye. She agrees to help him out with the evil wicked witch who threatens the monsters world. The little girl quickly decides to go on a bizarre little adventure that ends up being almost like a travel video to some spectacular New Zealand locales that masquerade quite nicely for the monsters world. Only one thing, she’s got to get home by Christmas day!
This is probably one of my favorite new discoveries especially for Christmas viewing in 2022. Filled with some beautiful locations, a wondrerful main character and even a few charming little songs thrown in for good measure. But let’s be honest here it’s mostly about the freaky ass monsters presented on screen! They’re all pretty awesome and it’s a crime this little holiday special doesn’t have a HUGE cult following. I think it’s ripe for a fancy ass blu ray release – Vinegar Syndrome are you game or WHAT?
Ok so as I mentioned before Mr. Nasty is one creepy character, he’s some sort of strange hybrid of a human, a mole and a bat. He is a truly terrifying creation but he’s completely loyal to the wicked witch, who by the way has her own complete personal gym inside of her cave! And believe me she gets some great use out of it!
She’s quite charming as she spends most of her free time trying to get fit and is dressed to the nines in regal 1980s aerobic garb! Pretty much everything about this little 45 minute feature is utterly bizarre and hits all of the right beats to make something truly obscure that is an absolute must add to your Christmas viewing! I’d say this one’s perfect for the kids although Mr. Nasty, be warned is quite the embodiment of a living breathing nightmare. He sorta steals the show..
If you’re a fan of obscure bizarre yuletide viewing I highly recommend tracking The Monster’s Chtistmas down and watching it this year. I just found a full version of it is available now on YouTube or you can add it to your collection by getting the dvd which I highly recommend. If anyone has an extra copy of the VHS please send me one! Oh yeah, thank you New Zealand!
90’s HK Ass Kicker ‘TEENAGE MASTER’ has got the MOVES!!
I just gotta love a crazy 90s Hong Kong action flick, especially one where the main character is a ten year old master of martial arts who beats the snot out of anyone who steps to him or his damn dad! I’m not entirely certain why this sweet ass kicker from 1995 is called “Teenage Master” when the master is not a teen, but hell just go with it!
This is easily one of the most fun Hong Kong flicks I’ve seen in quite a while. It’s non stop fun, action and legit laughs!! I’m sorry to report however the kid doesn’t actually don a Superman costume at any time in this movie! Just on the poster…
This witty actioner Is totally ALL over the freakin’ place like many Hong-Kong movies of this era can be. One minute It’s spoofy slapstick comedy, the next it’s a dangerous highstakes buddy flick featuring a father/son duo who excel at one thing: kicking all the ass!
A kung fu obsessed father (Collin Chou) and son (Tse Miu) are like two peas in a pod, living out in the country all by themselves. They hang out all day practicing martial arts, playing tic-tac-toe and eating tons of rice. That is until they’re lured into the big city of Hong-Kong to take care of some family business with their elderly martial arts master, who’s locked up in a mental ward.
However it doesn’t take long for these two to get mixed up into some risky business with some truly evil murderous gangsters. Luckily these guys Aren’t anywhere prepared for the frenetic skills of THIS wild father and his 10 year old son the “teenage master” (for some reason)!!
Amidst a kick ass crazy confrontation in an apartment building the father and son get separated during the mayhem and goes straight to jail. The movie at times doesn’t make a lick of sense but anything lost in translation doesn’t matter much once the action kicks in and you get your witness the wild child deliverr some of the most hyper intense Kung Fu craziness set to screen. The teenage master wanders the streets by himself and is of course quickly adopted up by ridiculously idioticly entertaining family.
Yes some of the shenanigans in this movie are truly bizarre, sometimes veering into the Airplane/Naked Gun territory. Teenage Master however seems to seems to execute it’s strange tonal shifts almost perfectly And imo a lot of the jokes seem to for the most part stick to the wall. I suppose this might be fitting in style with something like ‘Shaolin Soccer’.
The main attraction here is seeing “teenage master” Tse Miu going nuts on the bad guys with his dad. The fight choreography is nuts and a total blast to behold. The comedic details sprinkled in each confrontation is the extra icing on the cake here to. Wheelchair chases, steroid drinking, crazy mental ward murders & insane acrobatics make this a truly forgotten diamond in the rough.
There’s so much going on in this movie comedically visually and physically to love for true fans of obscure, bizarre cinema it’s well worth it to grab a copy or find it somewhere streaming. I got a copy on DVD from Far East Flix, for a mere $8! Grab s case of beer and your best buds, cuz Teenage Master is a full on Kung fu hyper-blast!
VHS Verdict: 1986’s ‘BULLIES’ Channels ‘The Karate Kid’ Via ‘DELIVERANCE’!
I just watched what I consider to be a true bonafide lost 1980s gem, at least to me this movie was something I’d only found and watched by sheer chance. I frequent thrift stores quite often and upon discovering director Paul Lynch’s ‘Bullies’ a 1986 Canadian genre mash up of horror, thriller, action and revenge on VHS, I was most certainly intrigued, while realistically not getting my hopes up too damn high.
I’m pleased to report that ‘Bullies’ delivered the damn goods and then some in nearly every way I’d been hoping! Like I said in the title, this movie is essentially a mixture of The Karate Kid and Deliverance. I guess we’d categorize it as “Hicksploitation”. Sorry all you lovable hillbillies out there, but it’s kinda like if The Karate Kid’s Cobra Kai were evil messed up psycho mountain men! And when I say evil I mean evil with a capital E!
We follow the simple story of a teenage boy who moves with his mom and stepfather to a cozy little mountain town smack dab in the middle of the woods to run a family business. The only problem is some of the locals are restless and don’t particularly like the new arrivals in town…at all. A wicked gang of family hicks are on the prowl to fuck with anyone they please and no one seems to give a damn, not even the cops- imagine that huh?!
Luckily our teenage equivalent to Daniel Laruso befriends a cool local Native American man, who he establishes a strong bond with and like Mr. Miagi he teaches him some serious life lessons, survival and even a few nifty combat techniques. Something his stepfather whom he somewhat loathes and views as a useless coward doesn’t seem to have ANY interest in being part of. Of course he meets the beautiful Olivia D’Abo, and of course crushes out hard. I mean what are the chances he meets a babe like her in this po-dunk town? Lucky guy! Or is he?
As it just happens to turn out that she’s the sister of one of the insane maniac hillbillies who who threaten the town folk on any whim. But that’s not gonna stop the teen romance though as the two are immediately lovestruck. So the pissed off hillbillies up the ante with their evil shenanigans and the boy’s step dad is too chicken to stand up to them. These guys not only terrorize the teenagers but also go on the war path against the parents too, leading to a truly shocking rape scene that ups the stakes to deadly proportions and drastically shifts the tone. Be warned! ‘Bullies’ takes some dark twists and turns but by the final act you’ll be rooting for revenge with all of your damn heart. Even though it does go to some dark places it oddly has a lingering light feeling to it somehow, an 80s charm of something like The Karate Kid or My Bodyguard. Most importantly are how, for the most part, endearing the characters are in this grimy little banger. It makes the journey one worth taking.
I’d say this is the perfect coming of age revenge flick, filled with genuine heart, romance, comedy and some pretty wild and crazy action sequences. You also get served some gory kills and some intense explosions that put this one in a league of its own as a intriguing lost 80s gem. Bullies exists on VHS only and is just begging to be cleaned up and released on a slick blu ray. It really deserves far more attention from cult movie fanatics, if you get a chance check this one out, but beware, these “Bullies” are playing for keeps!!
Universal Dork 