Tagged: worst

Most Lame Movie Kill Ever!!

I like to blog as much as possible, but alas sometimes I can’t think of jack shit to write about! That’s when you can expect shit like this, which I think is better than a thousand words…

Oh yeah and if you think there’s one more lame than this I’d like to see it! I doubt this one can be topped!

The Top Five Weird D-List Villains that Need to Step Into The Spotlight

I love to see new villains created for comic books today, but I won’t lie here. I really like it when some weird ass old D-lister from who knows when re-emerges onto the scene with a vengance into a current title. It always brings a smile to my face and sometimes the villain hits the big time graduating to the B-list or sometimes even the A-list level. So I began to think about a handful of villains from the yesteryears of my youth and decided that these guys need another chance to shine. Now I am not one hundred percent positive that all these guys haven’t made a more recent appearance, as I obviously can’t afford to read every title out there (Hint! Hint! Any of you comic companies want to send me promo comics for review?!!) but I am pretty damn sure this first group of villains have been pretty silent for quite some time so here are the first five that came to mind!

1. Shadow Stalker

This master assassin is probably my favorite on this list. He’s a super old school villain from “The Master of Kung Fu” series back in the 1970’s. He often time battled Shang-Chi and was one of his major enemies way back when. He’s definitely a weird ass character, which is probably why I like the dude so damn much! There’s really not much known about this guy, he hides in shadows with his yellow skin and kicks major ass with his morning star-hair.

A previous Shang-chi villain, Razorfist, who is from around that same era is now a pretty popular nemesis to Wolverine. Razorfist was also a fave of mine, so how about sending Shadow Stalker after Wolverine next time he travels to Madripoor? I’d pay to see that!

2. The Missing Link

This largely forgotten villain of The Incredible Hulk need to get back onto the smashing circuit again and knock some sense back into him! This guy was once a “neanderthaloid” from long ago who survived in a pocket beneath the earth by some unknown means. During atomic testing in China the pocket he survived in was ruptured and he was affected by the bombing, later returning to the surface as a radioactive monster! There he was handed over to the Russians who launched him into the New York Harbor where he raised hell.

This was the beginning of his battling the Hulk where he for a short time established himself as a major adversary. But where has The Missing Link been lately? I say it’s time for this guy to come back as a major contender and start some serious meddling in the affairs of Banner & The Incredible HULK!

3. Hammer & Anvil

These guys were pretty cool I always thought at least, however when villains in the 1980’s were killed by Scourge it wasn’t exactly a good sign of their popularity! Their story is also pretty unique “Leroy “Hammer” Jackson was an African-American prisoner said to hate everyone and everything. As part of a chain gang, he was chained to a white racist named Johnny Anvil. The pair’s hatred of prison, however, was stronger than their hate for each other and they succeeded in escaping the chain gang while still chained together. Hammer stole a .38 handgun from a guard, and when the two encountered an alien who had crashed on Earth, Hammer tried to kill it but accidentally wound up saving the creature’s life instead; it fed on metal, and used the bullets fired at it to regenerate. The alien wanted to thank them, and replaced the chain linking them with a device that granted them superhuman powers. The two returned to prison seeking revenge, but wound up battling the Hulk instead.”

Yeah that’s what their Wiki page had to say do you really need any other reason to see these guys back in action? I didn’t think so! I think The Wrecking Crew needs to have these guys join their gang-how cool would that be? Granted they’d need a good makeover most likely but power them up and and have them raise some havoc again!

4. Wyre

Yes Wyre is a D-lister from 1992 with an B-List background. He’s not very well known from his appearances in The Alpha Flight where his main nemesis was Wild Child, who at the time was a bit of a D-lister himself before he more recently graduated as a major villain of Wolverine. The Canadian mutant Wyre, much like Wolverine is a bit more of an anti hero, and actually has tangled with Logan before. He appeared back in 1992 and has genetically modified wires that can stretch from his body which he controls with his mind as well as a similar healing factor. His main mission was to take down members of a feral group of assassin called the Breed who were created from his DNA and quite possibly his hairy ass chest!

I think Wyre needs a good makeover obviously but given his background he could prove to be a major player in Wolverine’s world perhaps even resurfacing with information or a death wish again for Wild Child and Roumulus?

5. Half-Life

This guy should be back causing serious trouble for the Hulk! He first appeared in the The Incredible Hulk #334 back in the eighties and later in issue #342 he kills himself. As far as I know that’s the last we have seen of the psychotic gamma zombie. Half-life was pretty awesome actually aside from being really creepy looking he’d start out looking like a green zombie with a sylish 80’s hair-do and absorbing life from living creatures to become more “normal” looking.

When the Leader employed him to take down The Hulk he drained him so badly that ol’ jade jaws was not much more than a walking pile of skin and bones. I see no reason why Half-Life can’t come back, perhaps revived by The Leader? He’s a great classic Hulk villain that needs to step back into the spotlight-zombies are all the rage right now and a gamma powered zombie is ten times as awesome!

The Hunt for Manimal!!!

I don’t know what got me started today but I am on a rabid hunt for one of the most rad 80’s series of all time “Manimal”!! What you don’t remember that one? Of course not it was only on for like 3 months before they cancelled that shit way back in1983! What the hell is a Manimal you ask? Well it’s a rad doctor dude who pretty much has everything going for him and then add on top of it one other interesting quality….he can turn into any damn animal he wants to at will! How rad is that?!

 Well apparently people back in 1983 were brain dead because the little bits and peices I did remember of the show were even more mindblowing upon watching them on Youtube today! They pretty much show him transforming into all kinds of intense animals, for instance check Manimal out as he transforms into a fucking falcon below!

How cool was that? Yeah and pretty much every tranformation is like five minutes long, and the funny thing is is that when he transforms back into a “man” he has all of his damn clothes on everytime! What the hell? He seems to suffer the same condition as Bruce Banner did in the 80’s cartoon-everytime he changed back he had all his clothes on too-and they were like brand spankin’ new! So I have been on a hunt for it today as I’d like to get the whole series and bring the Pilot “Movie” to a bad movie night-as It would be bound to be a hit. Watch here as he transforms into a damn snake!

And check this out as he turns into a bad ass panther! Even the tigers and lions are like WTF?!!

From what I understand special effects wizard Stan Winston was behind the transformations-no wonder why they rule so hard! Anyway I am really hoping the series gets released soon on dvd, why they cancelled this show is beyond me….never forget….MANIMAL!!

Truly Un-Epic Hand Lasers Rule!!

So you all are aware of how much I like bad movies? You may be able to tell by my post yesterday how much I enjoy 80’s fantasy movies. So once again I stumble upon a trailer for a movie that I simply have GOT to see. It’s apparently from 1984, made in Indonesia and looks to be the shiniest turd of a film I have yet to lay my eyes upon! Check out the trailer for the most truly un-epic movie of the 80’s!

This movie seems to have it all folks! Terrible fight sequences, completely ridiculous looking special effects, laughably raunchy sex scenes, people who ride on flying rocks and who shoot lasers from their hands! It really doesn’t get any better or worse than this! Today I begin my own hunt for this craptastic gem cuzI feel a bad movie night coming on soon!

2009’s Greatest Scares:10 Best Horror Flicks!

So it’s come to that time of the year again where everyone is making their top ten lists of 2009. Being a huge fan of horror movies I only thought it right to once again count the best of this last year. This last year personally seemed a little lighter on the real good ones than 2008. But there were still some pretty damn great flicks that delivered the shivers.

 This list is comprised of movies released in the theater or released on dvd this last year that I personally saw. So let’s get down to business!

10. Martyrs

Martyrs is a horror movie I wouldn’t recommend to anyone and it’s honestly the type of movie I try and steer clear of. Continue reading