Tagged: d-list villains

DC’s Most IDIOTIC Villain: Codpiece!

Yowza!! I have in the past here, covered¬† some of the most ridiculous comic book heroes & villains of all time, but somehow the most pathetic one slipped through the cracks! Yes Codpiece is TRULY and literally the biggest knob in town, a truly weird and insecure dipshit of a villain! Ok, First just what is a “codpiece” exactly?! Well the official definition states it as: “a covering flap or pouch that attaches to the front of the crotch of men’s trousers, enclosing the genital area.” Ummm…yeah, what sort of moron would think THAT was a cool supervillain name?! Well look no further, here he is in ALL his stupid glory! CODPEICE!

Whatta guy huh?!¬† The incredible thing about this loser is that he was actually created waaay back in 1993, appearing in Doom Patrol #70.¬† Looking like something that we might see in ‘The Boys’ it’s quite interesting that DC was willing to feature such an offensive bizarre villain within its pages in the early nineties.

Codpiece’s back story is also quite stupid, apparently when he was in high school a girl made some remarks about “his size” so naturally he assumed she was talking about his wee wee. In reality however she was merely saying he was short, but this guy took things to the extreme with his insecurities and designed a full on weiner weapon system that he strapped around his groin! Finally feeling like the big man on campus he goes on a crime spree, now quite satisfied with the size of his wang FINALLY! Hunt down this back issue to get the full story, but sadly Codpiece was only featured in this one issue and never made a return. It left millions of his fans wondering just where he went and what hes been up to all of these years. Let’s hope codpiece makes a return soon to comics, hell, maybe even give this insecure comic book character his own title and see how it goes? I’m sure it would be quite a hit in 2022 don’t you?

The Top Five Weird D-List Villains that Need to Step Into The Spotlight

I love to see new villains created for comic books today, but I won’t lie here. I really like it when some weird ass old D-lister from who knows when re-emerges onto the scene with a vengance into a current title. It always brings a smile to my face and sometimes the villain hits the big time graduating to the B-list or sometimes even the A-list level. So I began to think about a handful of villains from the yesteryears of my youth and decided that these guys need another chance to shine. Now I am not one hundred percent positive that all these guys haven’t made a more recent appearance, as I obviously can’t afford to read every title out there (Hint! Hint! Any of you comic companies want to send me promo comics for review?!!) but I am pretty damn sure this first group of villains have been pretty silent for quite some time so here are the first five that came to mind!

1. Shadow Stalker

This master assassin is probably my favorite on this list. He’s a super old school villain from “The Master of Kung Fu” series back in the 1970’s. He often time battled Shang-Chi and was one of his major enemies way back when. He’s definitely a weird ass character, which is probably why I like the dude so damn much! There’s really not much known about this guy, he hides in shadows with his yellow skin and kicks major ass with his morning star-hair.

A previous Shang-chi villain, Razorfist, who is from around that same era is now a pretty popular nemesis to Wolverine. Razorfist was also a fave of mine, so how about sending Shadow Stalker after Wolverine next time he travels to Madripoor? I’d pay to see that!

2. The Missing Link

This largely forgotten villain of The Incredible Hulk need to get back onto the smashing circuit again and knock some sense back into him! This guy was once a “neanderthaloid” from long ago who survived in a pocket beneath the earth by some unknown means. During atomic testing in China the pocket he survived in was ruptured and he was affected by the bombing, later returning to the surface as a radioactive monster! There he was handed over to the Russians who launched him into the New York Harbor where he raised hell.

This was the beginning of his battling the Hulk where he for a short time established himself as a major adversary. But where has The Missing Link been lately? I say it’s time for this guy to come back as a major contender and start some serious meddling in the affairs of Banner & The Incredible HULK!

3. Hammer & Anvil

These guys were pretty cool I always thought at least, however when villains in the 1980’s were killed by Scourge it wasn’t exactly a good sign of their popularity! Their story is also pretty unique “Leroy “Hammer” Jackson was an African-American prisoner said to hate everyone and everything. As part of a chain gang, he was chained to a white racist named Johnny Anvil. The pair’s hatred of prison, however, was stronger than their hate for each other and they succeeded in escaping the chain gang while still chained together. Hammer stole a .38 handgun from a guard, and when the two encountered an alien who had crashed on Earth, Hammer tried to kill it but accidentally wound up saving the creature’s life instead; it fed on metal, and used the bullets fired at it to regenerate. The alien wanted to thank them, and replaced the chain linking them with a device that granted them superhuman powers. The two returned to prison seeking revenge, but wound up battling the Hulk instead.”

Yeah that’s what their Wiki page had to say do you really need any other reason to see these guys back in action? I didn’t think so! I think The Wrecking Crew needs to have these guys join their gang-how cool would that be? Granted they’d need a good makeover most likely but power them up and and have them raise some havoc again!

4. Wyre

Yes Wyre is a D-lister from 1992 with an B-List background. He’s not very well known from his appearances in The Alpha Flight where his main nemesis was Wild Child, who at the time was a bit of a D-lister himself before he more recently graduated as a major villain of Wolverine. The Canadian mutant Wyre, much like Wolverine is a bit more of an anti hero, and actually has tangled with Logan before. He appeared back in 1992 and has genetically modified wires that can stretch from his body which he controls with his mind as well as a similar healing factor. His main mission was to take down members of a feral group of assassin called the Breed who were created from his DNA and quite possibly his hairy ass chest!

I think Wyre needs a good makeover obviously but given his background he could prove to be a major player in Wolverine’s world perhaps even resurfacing with information or a death wish again for Wild Child and Roumulus?

5. Half-Life

This guy should be back causing serious trouble for the Hulk! He first appeared in the The Incredible Hulk #334 back in the eighties and later in issue #342 he kills himself. As far as I know that’s the last we have seen of the psychotic gamma zombie. Half-life was pretty awesome actually aside from being really creepy looking he’d start out looking like a green zombie with a sylish 80’s hair-do and absorbing life from living creatures to become more “normal” looking.

When the Leader employed him to take down The Hulk he drained him so badly that ol’ jade jaws was not much more than a walking pile of skin and bones. I see no reason why Half-Life can’t come back, perhaps revived by The Leader? He’s a great classic Hulk villain that needs to step back into the spotlight-zombies are all the rage right now and a gamma powered zombie is ten times as awesome!