Tagged: top ten
Who Should Star as Freddy Krueger in the Next ‘A Nightmare on Elm Street’ Reboot?!
It seems these days Hollywood really isn’t all that interested in making good movies when it comes to our pop culture icons. Instead of giving the people what they really want they’ve continuously tried to give us all what THEY think we want. So it’s no surprise that they’re going to give us yet another go round at “A Nightmare on Elm Street”. The 2010 film was a failed attempt to modernize the story and give it to a whole new younger generation. The film was total bore and featured a new actor as Freddy Krueger. It came and went really without anyone giving a shit about it. Now it’s time again to try and revive the franchise which lead to the question of who’s going to wear the legendary glove? I’m fairly certain it’s NOT going to be Jackie Earle Haley, who did an ok job trying give Freddy a new spin. Still the fans were not happy with the flick. However fans of the franchise do clearly know what they want in A Nightmare on Elm Street and it ain’t a new actor playing Freddy!
So let’s just get this out of the way. Let’s not kid ourselves Hollywood. You want a successful new Nightmare on Elm Street movie? One that’s going to excite people? You want to make a big deal out of it? You want social media to go nuts about it? You of course want to make BIG money more than anything else, because we all know that’s what it’s really all about for Hollywood right? Well then listen up you greedy cash hogs to this here rather unimportant trivial little blogger who’s an actual real fan of the movies. It’s simple, get ROBERT ENGLUND back.
You don’t need a younger more hip actor to play Freddy. Nope. The people that wanna see this movie want one thing. The real Freddy. Englund is NOT too old for the role. Let’s face it his face is covered by latex it doesn’t matter if he’s 85 years old. People want the real deal. Have you really payed attention to what JJ is doing with Star Wars? Case closed. Robert Englund should be Freddy. You already know the answer to success here, don’t fuck it up again.
VHS Verdict: The Further Adventures of Tennessee Buck!
I’m always and I mean ALWAYS down for an Indiana Jones rip off movie! There are a few out there that reared their heads back in the 80’s and this week I had the pleasure to find “The Further Adventures of Tennessee Buck” on vhs and give it a watch. This one’s actually pretty damn entertaining, if you can get past some of it’s non PC-ness that would today surely have people in a wildly frantic uproar. Basically what we have here is a kind of Indiana Jones meets Romancing The Stone meets Crocodile Dundee with less of budget and a far more crude trashy style to it. That being said the flick actually visits some pretty awesome locations and it’s sets are top notch as well, which is always nice for a movie trying to rip off Indy!
This one has a little star power too with David Keith (An Officer and a Gentleman) in the lead swashbuckling role also directed this one and Sydney Lassick (One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest). Yeah Tennessee Buck is a crude dude alright, a boozing, womanizing jungle guide who’s hired by a young yuppie couple named (Barbie & Ken) to help them find and hunt a white tiger. The woman just happens to be Kathy Shower, former Playboy playmate of the year, so I knew there was going to be some senseless nudity in this one and boy is there a ton of that here! I also knew that she’d most likely leave her husband for Buck and though I was right the way it played out was like nothing i was expecting!
But the movie actually took some odd twists and turns that in a way shocked me a bit. Tennessee Buck starts out as a comedy but around it’s third act it gets pretty dark suddenly. Characters endure some things that seem quite out of place with the movies otherwise fun loving, wisecracking vibe. I guess it’s what you expect when they become pursued by a crazed band of headhunters with a horny chieftan as it’s leader.
This one kinda played out a bit like “The Last American Virgin” which started out like Porky’s and ended up a bit of perplexing shocker. Buck here is an odd movie that’s most definitely worth a watch if you’re a fan of the jungle adventure style movies, trashy 80’s schlock & weird out of place plot twists!
Frankenstein’s Army: The Coolest Horror Flick of 2013?!
Do you like cool monster movies as much as I do? If so Frankenstein’s Army looks like a total winner here in this most recent preview just released yesterday! I’m big fan of World War II horror movies and this one could shape up to be one of the best ones yet. To me this movie is looking like a great BPRD story arc filled to the brim with insane Nazi monster soldiers.
It appears that the Nazi’s have their own Doctor Frankenstein that’s constructing creatures with some pretty menacing weaponry melded to their bodies. The trailer is jam packed with action gore and some pretty outstanding fx.
I also read a pretty stellar review on BloodyDisgusting.com so this one is going to the top of my “to see list” pretty rapidly. Opening in select theaters July 26th I’m crossing my fingers this one hits a theater in Portland! Check this shit out!
More Universal Dork Halloween Movie Picks! Heavy Metal Horror!
Here we go again with another movie pick for you this Halloween that you should be able to easily find for a Halloween horror movie night! Let’s face it movies are expensive to go to these days-and who the hell has got the money to risk on a shitty mainstream Hollywood horror flick these days? Well save some money and fear not fellow dorks I have got another gem for you to check out!
Trick or Treat from 1986 is a GREAT little bundle of cheezy horror served up they way it should be in the 1980’s-with a rockin’ metal soundtrack! Yeah this movie is all about heavy metal and the harm it can do to you when you play records backwards! Back in the 80’s people were obsessed with playing vinyl backwards because they swore all the metal bands were putting subliminal evil messages in their music! However I bet if you played some Patsy Cline albums backwards long enough you’d sure as hell hear something that’d be perceived as evil!
Anyway this rad movie has Marc Price, Family Ties’ “Skippy”, as our teenage metal head outcast nicknamed “Ragman”. He’s picked on by the jocks and longs for love from one of the most popular girls in his school. Well one day he gets a present for local metal DJ played by Gene Simmons, a final unreleased record by his favorite artist Sammie Curr, a recently deceased heavy metal superstar. When he takes it home and plays it bad things begin to happen and soon Sammie Curr returns from the dead with demonic powers and even more fucking bad ass rock and roll chops! Throw in a few monsters, some rock n’ roll and a ton of 1980’s electricity flying all over the place and boom-instant classic.
This is pretty much the perfect 80’s horror flick it’s just a damn good time all around. The perfect movie to drink beers with friends on Halloween. The more recent dvd releases of this movie have put pictures of Gene Simmons & Ozzy Osbourne on the cover implying they are the major stars of the movie, laughably they end up in the movie for a combined total of maybe a minute and a half tops! Still there a ton of fun to be had with this cult favorite, if you haven’t seen it check it out this Halloween and if you have it’s probably time to rock out to this once again!
Universal Dork’s Halloween Horror Picks #2! Cronenberg’s BEST!
People just love Cronenberg! However many people who love him today for movies like Eastern Promises & A History of Violence have long forgotten his amazing horror films like The Fly and his best in my opinion “The Brood”. If you have never seen this incredibly creepy movie from 1979 you are missing out big time. It’s also best that you know as little as possible about the plot as it will confuse you right up until the truly shocking finale. It’s been described as a horror version of Kramer vs. Kramer and I’d have to say that’s a neat way to look at this one.
It’s follows the story of a man who’s wife is receiving a strange theatrical therapy to help her with mental and emotional problems she’s experiencing. However when the husband finds bruises and cuts on their daughter he begins to suspect his mentally imbalanced wife may be to blame.
To make matters worse a brood of horrifying mutant children begin creeping around inside their house and soon people end up dead. This one is a Cronenberg masterpeice that should not be missed or seen again this Halloween! A true horror classic!!
Universal Dork 