Tagged: pc

80s Stop Motion Mayhem: Chuck Steel: Night of the Trampires!

A sad fact for me to admit is that sometimes when I watch a movie at home, all by myself I’m easily tempted to be distracted by my phone while “watching”. Usually it’s a sign that the flick I’m watchin’ just ain’t cutting the damn mustard! It’s probably also a sign of phone addiction, but that’s another depressing topic in itself. So imagine how pleased I was at the first viewing of ‘Chuck Steel: Night of the Trampires’, probably my favorite new movie of the last few years hands down, I never even looked at my phone ONCE the entire time!

This one was released overseas in 2018 but just this year hit streaming services. But before I get ahead of myself, a lot might wonder just what the hell is this thing? Well to put it simply it’s probably one of the greatest stop motion animation full length features I’ve ever seen. Easily one of the most unique movies stylistically. There’s literally been nothing quite like it before. It’s essentially a stop motion version of a 1980s action movie / horror/sex comedy hybrid mash up for all you fans of those midnight B-movies of yesteryear! 

Chuck Steel is a full on meat-head, numbskull cop who’s fully proficient with just three things: martial arts, big guns and his big bad attitude. A self proclaimed loner, he pretty much handles every situation with his fists or a gun, a hardened heroic dipshit, losing the only woman he ever loved to an evil ninja crime syndicate of course! 

Chuck’s pretty much able to finagle his way out of any situations with sheer brute force, until an occult menace comes to town, bringing a slew of bizarre creatures called trampires to roam the foggy night streets. He’s soon forced to adopt new buddy cop partners to work with and also teams up with a “Peter Vincent/Fright Night” type old guy vampire slayer to try the rid the city of this supernatural scourge.

Along the way of course we get a ton of insane martial arts brawls, spectacular explosions, car chases, crazy gore & a load of ferocious monsters to feast our eyes upon.

To say this movie is ambitious would be an understatement as this took years to film, building dozens of stunning miniature sets and using all practical puppets to create some of the most breathtaking stop motion animation I’ve ever witnessed.

Everything looks absolutely incredible and this is a literal cult horror b-movie fanatics dream come true! As I understand it the director, Mike Mort, had created the character when he was a teenager and & just now finally bringing the adventure to the big screen and eventually getting a funding of 20 million dollars, and boy does the effort and money show.

I’m honestly quite surprised that this movie hasn’t gotten WAY more attention. It does of course feature some very un-PC humor, nothing incredibly offensive, but definitely the kind of jokes you would hear directly in a classic, raunchy eighties comedy. The character in a nutshell emulates the same type of humor you might expect from Ash in Evil Dead or Johnny Lawrence from Cobra Kai. 

Perhaps that’s why this one hasn’t garnered major attention so far? I’m perplexed! Whatever the case ‘Chuck Steel: Night of the Trampires’ is a true spectacle to behold and a loving tribute to everything that us weirdo movie maniacs appreciate about about the 1980s and the golden era of horror.

Check this out if you’re a fan of B-Movies that drip of over the top characters, action, monsters, martial arts, crude comedy and one liners galore!

VHS Verdict: ‘Wizard’s Curse’ 1992’s Bizarre Raunchy Kung Fu Horror Flick!!

I’ve been checking out a lot of 1980’s and 90’s foreign horror movies lately and the ones from Hong Kong are most definitely the most outrageous of them all. 1992’s ‘Wizard’s Curse’ is certainly proof of that, a mix of raunchy sex comedy, horror, fantasy and action all rolled into one big weird ball.

 A pair of “on the run” criminal lovers rumored to be practitioners of dark magic are hunted down by local police lead by a taoist demon hunter. Using his own unique supernatural abilities he aids the cops, managing to personally slay them both in a pretty fantastic opening sequence. Soon after, a local crazy cult leader with a super creepy sewer dungeon lair resurrects their spirits into a one shared physical body, granting them superhuman powers, a wild sex drive & leaving them thirsting for human brains-he’s created the ultimate monster-the “TERRIFIC VAMPIRE”. They set out on a mission, to track down Lam “the demon hunter” for revenge and seeking to eat the brains of a virgin born at the “spiritual hour” to gain ultimate terrific powers of everlasting evil. This sets into motion a chase as Uncle Lam (the demon hunter) battles them to protect his daughter and the life of a tuff guy wise ass virgin cop who becomes fully entangled in the case and is having a personal dilemma with his recently injured cock.

Yeah it’s a weird one. It features Ching-Ying Lam better known for his role in the iconic ‘Mr. Vampire’ movies of the 1980’s as the even tempered ass kickin’ magic dad. The bad guy & girl uniquely share one body, change sexes at random & wear a totally bad ass 80’s leather clad outfit that’d make ‘The Terminator’ SUPER jealous.

They rip though Hong Kong eating brains and murdering people with a huge glowing throbbing’ cock, that’s used most of the time like a super powered snake like battering ram. There’s some really great 80’s style fx work going here, martial arts, out of place sex jokes, genuinely creepy moments and some frenetic action sequences keep ‘Wizard’s Curse’ moving at a brisk, ridiculous, bloody, action packed pace.

 Together (literally) they make a unique villain as the “Terrific Vampire” and the camera tricks utilized to make them inhabit the same monstrous body are a LOT of fun as well.

Ching-Ying Lam never disappoints with his on screen kung fu skills either, he’s one of the BEST and there’s some incredibly spastic supernatural battles to behold filled with cool acrobatics and glowing magic tricks o’ plenty to behold. However, the movie is also entirely unsure of what it wants to be as it’s littered with sex & dick jokes when you least expect it-it’s wildly unpredictable and that’s what makes it a totally great party jam.

A lot of these Hong Kong horror movies of that era go lots of different directions and while it certainly makes things interesting, it might’ve really benefitted by keeping the raunchy comedy to a bare minimum-to me though that’s sort of a  big why it somehow succeeds. Watching the movie with it’s rudimentary english subtitles is part of the real fun too-Wizard’s Curse is FILLED to the brim with the most insane head scratchers-someone pleeez do a serious English dub entirely based on the subtitles provided! It’d be a real cult classic imo…

 

At the end of the day, I really highly recommend ‘Wizard’s Curse’, if even just for it’s sheer absurdity alone-it really goes the distance. Though released in 1992 it feels one hundred percent 80’s fueled. Lots of neon, cool clothing, real stunts and a ton of great stupid 80’s FX work make it a unique little forgotten flick that rises above the rest. It’s filled with plenty of raunchy gags revolving around stupid sexual exploits, yet somehow never ends up being overly offensive, in fact there’s a lot of heart and charm at it’s  raunchy core. I liked the role of the “virgin” too being **SPOILER: the wise crackin’ hot shot cop instead of Lam’s daughter, who regularly spends her time dodging super creepy sex ploys from mega douchey sadistic men-you’ve just GOT to see the loser she narrowly dodges-the ultimate Hong Kong perv-out. Oh yeah & the finale is a total treat too as  Lam is forced to team up with his hilarious ex-wife who’s also a bad ass magic practitioner as well. And of course the movie’s “final moment gag” hinges on an over the top bizarro sex joke freeze frame. If you’re looking for an utterly charming, mind melter, hybrid horror, sex comedy, rom-com action flick most DEF check this one out, it’s got a lot of weird ass shit going for it. If that’s your cup of tea, like is mine-I can attest ‘Wizard’s Curse’ will certainly not disappoint! Hey Vinegar Syndrome-snag this oddity up and give it the American cult following it truly deserves…..

I’ve Officially Lost My Enthusiasm For ‘Curb Your Enthusiasm’!!

Has anyone been checking out the latest season of ‘Curb Your Enthusiasm’? Am I the only one who’s feels like this show has seriously lost it’s original charm? It’s been a while since we’ve seen ol’ Larry David in action (six years to be exact) and now he’s finally returned to get back into all those uncomfortable situations most people have similarly experienced at some point in our lives. Well after checking out the last few episodes of this new season, which I was pumped about, it’s clear Larry and Co. have ultimately lost the brilliant situational comedy the show’s most well known for. Every damn situation he gets himself into feels incredibly forced & too dang silly to really feel relatable to anymore. Most of all this new season so far feels A LOT like a parody of itself.

‘Curb’ feels like it’s lost it’s originality, now putting Larry into situations that unfold in the most predictable ways possible. From miles away you can see where every awkward moment is going end up. Whether he’s opening a pickle jar or grabbing cookies in a hotel lobby with his fingers rather than the tongs, it always advances the show’s plot to another unbelievable level. It’s maybe just gotten a bit too self aware for it’s own good? For me the past seasons for the most part, felt like Larry was existing in the real world and it made all of his antics that much more relatable. You’d feel like, you’d been there before and many times Mr. David would say the shit you’d wished you could, but were too afraid of suffering the consequences.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WbtwFkX3QJ4

Now no matter where he goes he’s always got people who feel like they’re programmed to cause a stink over anything and everything the dude does. Like Portlandia some of these situations just drag on far too long now and a lot of the dialogue now feels like it was written by a fan of the show trying their best to make things as uncomfortable as humanly possible as much as possible. We’ve lost the realism that directly fueled the comedy and made everything that David said and did that much more cringeworthy & consequential. 

We get it, Larry is always saying and doing the wrong thing, but in the past it felt a bit like we were watching a real guy navigate through the real world. This season follows, in my opinion, a once brilliant formula a bit too by the numbers. In the past we’d never quite know when or why the shit was gonna hit the fan. Perhaps they’ve run out of ideas or perhaps now the landscape of things even in six years have changed so drastically that Larry’s just not relevant in the way he used to be. Whatever the case I had to make a quick rant, I still find aspects of the funny don’t get me wrong, this was one of my favorite comedies of all time, I’m gonna finish the season but dang do I miss Larry’s glory days…what do you think?      

The Walking Dead #156: Kirkman Pulls an M. Negan Shyamalan!

I just read issue #156 of the Walking Dead last night and it seems Kirkman did a mighty fine job of pulling off an “M. Night Shyamalan”, at least on me. Beware of SPOILERS ahead. I’ve been having a pretty good time recently with The Walking Dead, which is somewhat of a surprise as I’d gotten a bit bored with the title over time. Heck though issue #156 was definitely an interesting read. We got a full issue of the escaped Negan who was up to his old crazy antics once again. The way this issue read having him as the main focal point however almost felt like it had been written by The Farrelly Brothers. It felt a bit like a raunchy slapstick comedy as this guy tried in his own messed up way to “fit in” with his new crew. We got Negan hanging out with Alpha and The Whisperers, the latest gang of human scum that is threatening Rick and his gang. It felt awkward at times watching Negan interact with them all, like the dude was a foul mouthed Jim Carey. I would be lying if I didn’t say how much I thought the Whisperers in reality would have offed him within five minutes of meeting him- he’s so god damn irritating!

Ok I guess the guy is somewhat amusing but still as a main character it’s hard to take the story seriously at times. Anyway we’ve got yet another shocking act of violence that stains the issue by it’s end. Just as I thought I kinda had Negan figured out he goes and does something completely insane. I guess I should have seen it coming by now huh? Well this time as he’s trying to prove his worth to The Whisperers and impress their female leader Alpha he goes for the shocking twist ending. Negan appears concerned here about doing “the right thing” as he witnesses a woman being sexually assaulted. He tries to convince Alpha that it’s wrong not to interfere and later has a long discussion with her about how though he’s done some fucked up shit in his time, it’s always been to protect people.

I was starting to suspect he was up to something funny, in fact I highly suspected that he was pulling a full on fast one on Alpha. He even got her to open up to him and cry. What happened next though was pretty out of the blue as he went into psycho mode slitting her throat and then continuing to decapitate her. As we see him hold her head up it appears he’s under the impression that good ol’ Ricky boy is gonna be tickled pink at his latest kill. So I wonder just what Rick IS going to think?

Issue #156 is pretty interesting and it’s likely to generate a lot of controversy as Negan kills a seemingly powerful female villain named Alpha. Not the most PC thing to do at this point in 2016 but of course a ballsy move by Robert. We’ll see what happens as The Walking Dead has peaked my interest once again…what did you think?  

 

The Best Horror Comedy Trailer of the Year ‘Hands’ Down!

So maybe I’m a little late to the party here but over the weekend I saw this amazing trailer to a movie that doesn’t really exist, and I hope it stays that way! This was released back in October but somehow I missed it. It’s easily one of the most ridiculously funny things I’ve seen all year.

Yep check out the trailer for “Handjob Cabin” a horror story about a ghost who’ll give you the time of your life…until you’re dead! This one looks and feels like a real movie with a budget however don’t hold your breath I don’t think you’ll be seeing this in theaters anytime ever. If you missed this one like I did check it out or heck, watch it again and again! 

Doomsday Terrorizes Superman…Joker Style?!

No matter what you though about the controversial cancelled Bat Girl variant cover you can’t deny it’s got people talking about what they think is appropriate in 2015 for the two big major comic book companies! Well here we another pic that’s generating some buzz by Ray Dillon it’s Superman being terrorized by Doomsday, the very villain who at one time killed him! What do you think he’s trying to say about the topic?