Category: Movies
Calling ALL Fans of John Carpenter’s ‘THE THING’!! Sign This Petition!!
I’ve bitched and moaned here about my complete and utter disappointment for the 2011 version of ‘The Thing’, the prequel to Carpenter’s classic 1982 monster movie! To refresh your memory we were originally promised a movie that would not only be a prequel but also give us the same style of mind blowing practical creature effects the awed us way back in ’82. Carpenter’s ‘The Thing’ in my opinion is maybe the best creature feature of all time.
Yeah effects wizards at ADI (Amalgamated Dynamics Inc.) spent a ton of time and effort creating some truly astonishing practical creature FX for the movie only to have nearly ALL of them omitted from the final theatrical version of the film. Instead they gave us fans exactly what we DID NOT want, a bunch of slick, fake looking CGI in it’s place. This was a nightmare come true for all fans of the original. Well now it seems that that someone has decided to create a petition directed straight at the CEO of Universal Pictures Ronald Meyer. The petition is asking for what the fans wanted all along, the release of the work print of the 2011 film with all of the original practical monster effects that ADI worked so hard to bring us fans of the original!
This is a superb idea and something i have wondered about for so long. What would that film have looked like in it’s original form? Well now it’s time to demand that we see the film we were promised! If you’ve seen some of the Youtube videos of these FX then you know how incredible this movie just may have been!
So all of you Thing fans out there please take a minute to sign this petition and lets get the version of the prequel we all had been hoping for once and for all you can sign the Change.org petition right HERE! What are you waiting for?!
Who Should Star as Freddy Krueger in the Next ‘A Nightmare on Elm Street’ Reboot?!
It seems these days Hollywood really isn’t all that interested in making good movies when it comes to our pop culture icons. Instead of giving the people what they really want they’ve continuously tried to give us all what THEY think we want. So it’s no surprise that they’re going to give us yet another go round at “A Nightmare on Elm Street”. The 2010 film was a failed attempt to modernize the story and give it to a whole new younger generation. The film was total bore and featured a new actor as Freddy Krueger. It came and went really without anyone giving a shit about it. Now it’s time again to try and revive the franchise which lead to the question of who’s going to wear the legendary glove? I’m fairly certain it’s NOT going to be Jackie Earle Haley, who did an ok job trying give Freddy a new spin. Still the fans were not happy with the flick. However fans of the franchise do clearly know what they want in A Nightmare on Elm Street and it ain’t a new actor playing Freddy!
So let’s just get this out of the way. Let’s not kid ourselves Hollywood. You want a successful new Nightmare on Elm Street movie? One that’s going to excite people? You want to make a big deal out of it? You want social media to go nuts about it? You of course want to make BIG money more than anything else, because we all know that’s what it’s really all about for Hollywood right? Well then listen up you greedy cash hogs to this here rather unimportant trivial little blogger who’s an actual real fan of the movies. It’s simple, get ROBERT ENGLUND back.
You don’t need a younger more hip actor to play Freddy. Nope. The people that wanna see this movie want one thing. The real Freddy. Englund is NOT too old for the role. Let’s face it his face is covered by latex it doesn’t matter if he’s 85 years old. People want the real deal. Have you really payed attention to what JJ is doing with Star Wars? Case closed. Robert Englund should be Freddy. You already know the answer to success here, don’t fuck it up again.
Green Room : Oregon Punk Rockers Battle Patrick Stewart’s Neo Nazi Skinhead Gang!
I’m totally excited to see ‘Green Room‘, the follow up to Jeremy Saulnier’s awesome revenge flick Blue Ruin due out later this year. The movie was filmed right here (where I live) in Portland Oregon and the surrounding wilderness. It features Anton Yelchin (Star Trek’s Chekov) as a member of a Punk rock band that strays into a secluded part of the Pacific Northwest to play a underground venue. If you’ve seen Blue Ruin already you know Sauliner’s got the chops to give a mean, gritty adventure that’s not your average cookie cutter Hollywood flick.
So far the reviews for this movie hail it as a throwback to the 80’s as the young punk band “The Ain’t Rights” show up at the punk rock gig at an odd venue out in the boonies only to find they’re playing on a bill that caters to a local neo Nazi scene in rural Oregon.
They decide against all better judgement to rip into a cover of the Dead Kennedys’ classic “Nazi Punks Fuck Off” and from that point on all hell breaks loose as they witness a act of violence and are targeted by the racist punk horde.
The night becomes a fight for their life against the neo Nazi skinhead gang lead by none other than Patrick Stewart (Now that I’ve gotta see). This sounds like a awesome unique premise for a rural survival flick that’s bound to be quite a tense thriller! Sign me up, as long as the Nazi punks get exactly what they deserve in the end, fingers crossed!
We Are Still Here: A Seriously Gory Ghost Flick Gone Wild!
We’ve got a ton of movies these days that are trying to be a throwback to the vintage horror classics of the 70’s & 80’s but only a select few of them succeed on the level they attempt. ‘We Are Still Here’ not only succeeds it actually made me forget I was watching a movie released in 2015. What we’ve got here is on helluva ghost story with it’s lead being Scream Queen Barbara Crampton of Re-Animator, From Beyond, Chopping Mall fame which further legitimizes this flick’s already convincing retro time period.
It’s the 1970’s, after the death of their son Bobby in a car accident, Anne (Crampton) and her husband Paul (Andrew Sensenig) have decided to relocate to a new home way out in the boonies of New England. There they hope to find some peace in the midst of their mourning. Paul hopes this move will help his wife snap out the heavy depression she’s recently been dealing with and perhaps will help her begin to move on. No such luck, upon their arrival Anne is convinced her son’s ghost has now manifested in their new home.
As the ghostly events become more intense she decides to ask for help from her close friend May (Lisa Marie), a supposed psychic, and her pot smokin’ free spirit husband Jacob (Larry Fessenden) to try and make contact with Bobby. Shit gets even more freaky, as the weird townsfolk begin revealing the house they’ve moved into’s dark past that’s somehow legendary among them.
It’s a simple premise and just when you think you’re gonna get your average ghost about the house flick you’re knee deep in serious gore. That’s an interesting aspect of this movie, these ghosts will fuck you up big time if you’re nosing around where you’re not wanted. Director Ted Geohegan brings the splatter galore in this grisly tale and does it all old school style via some impressive practical effects.
The Ghosts too are pretty cool looking and the movies got a neat little mystery going on as well. It’s a short sweet little haunting movie that stands in a category all it’s own. You won’t want to miss the final conflict either as things get all ‘Evil Dead II’ pretty quick! Also this appears to be Ted’s first time directing and it’s a great debut. Cool to see he was born right here in Oregon a few miles from where I live! Check this flick out on Amazon, Itunes, Google play etc etc. It’s pretty awesome!
Hey Hugh Jackman, Here’s Why ‘Old Man Logan’ SHOULDN’T be the “Final” Wolverine Movie!
Ok, So Hugh Jackman went on Twitter the other day asking the fans exactly what they wanna see for the “final” Wolverine movie. So listen up Hugh I’m a real fan of Wolverine and here’s my real thoughts on your final movie outing as the character! First let me get this out of the way, I loved the “Old Man Logan” storyline and that is why this next Wolverine movie should absolutely NOT be based on it. Primarily Hugh you’re just not OLD enough yet!! Seriously, you should do “Old Man Logan” ten years to fifteen years from now. How rad would that be to see you come back for this when you are actually an older guy?!
Hugh you’re still too young for this one…
Right now focus on the final flick being just a great Wolverine story that can be done right giving the fans exactly what they want. Second ‘Old Man Logan’ done right would feature Clint Barton (Hawkeye) and The Incredible Hulk. That at the moment just does not seem possible due to legal reasons so HOLD OFF on this until it IS the right time where you can really do the story justice. Don’t fuck this up Hugh!! Work on getting these things figured out and then come back and give the fans what they truly deserve. There’s no Rush for this storyline.
Ok now let’s get onto what I have seen the fans asking for. Number one of most all the comments I have read want to see you suit up in one of the classic costumes!! I can say personally that I agree with this. Give us the classic comic Wolverine before you sign off on the character. Fans have been asking for this forever, it’s a no brainer. Do it Hugh. You might wanna consider the black, brown and tan costume or the version worn in X-Force which would probably translate better to film. Let’s face it the blue, yellow and black one might be a bit much.
Alright then, the other most common comment I’ve seen is concerns about the rating of the movie. Fans want and R-rated Wolverine movie dammit! Seriously we need to see what a real bezerker rage would look like from a guy with unbreakable metal claws would really look like. Wolverine needs to stab, slice and dice like he does in the comics. It’s crazy how little blood is seen on screen from an enraged animalistic mutant. Let’s really see wolverine go nuts one last time . I think this WILL happen once the studio sees how Deadpool fares. No more mediocre, watered down Wolverine go out with a real bang!
Lastly give us a truly great villain for him to face! Let’s see Lady Deathstrike come back looking more like she did in the comics along with The Reavers! How awesome would that be?
Or have Wolverine head off to Madripoor to retire and face off against Razorfist, Bloodsport and Roughhouse! That was a super cool & huge part of Logan’s past and could include some great almost Indiana Jones style of jungle adventure.
Or how about Omega Red tracking down Logan he’d be quite a sight on the big screen and a great classic villain!
Or have Wolverine head off to the woods of Canada to get away from it all and end up trying to survive and save innocents from The Wendigo?! Now that’d be intensely creepy adventure…
Or Lastly have Wolverine tracked down by Alpha Flight, this would be a great way to introduce a new team franchise and an intense part of Logan’s history that has yet to be told or even mentioned.
So there you have it thoughts from a real fan! Make this shit happen already!! What do you all think would be the best Wolverine story for Hugh to star in as his “final” appearance?
VHS Verdict: The Further Adventures of Tennessee Buck!
I’m always and I mean ALWAYS down for an Indiana Jones rip off movie! There are a few out there that reared their heads back in the 80’s and this week I had the pleasure to find “The Further Adventures of Tennessee Buck” on vhs and give it a watch. This one’s actually pretty damn entertaining, if you can get past some of it’s non PC-ness that would today surely have people in a wildly frantic uproar. Basically what we have here is a kind of Indiana Jones meets Romancing The Stone meets Crocodile Dundee with less of budget and a far more crude trashy style to it. That being said the flick actually visits some pretty awesome locations and it’s sets are top notch as well, which is always nice for a movie trying to rip off Indy!
This one has a little star power too with David Keith (An Officer and a Gentleman) in the lead swashbuckling role also directed this one and Sydney Lassick (One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest). Yeah Tennessee Buck is a crude dude alright, a boozing, womanizing jungle guide who’s hired by a young yuppie couple named (Barbie & Ken) to help them find and hunt a white tiger. The woman just happens to be Kathy Shower, former Playboy playmate of the year, so I knew there was going to be some senseless nudity in this one and boy is there a ton of that here! I also knew that she’d most likely leave her husband for Buck and though I was right the way it played out was like nothing i was expecting!
But the movie actually took some odd twists and turns that in a way shocked me a bit. Tennessee Buck starts out as a comedy but around it’s third act it gets pretty dark suddenly. Characters endure some things that seem quite out of place with the movies otherwise fun loving, wisecracking vibe. I guess it’s what you expect when they become pursued by a crazed band of headhunters with a horny chieftan as it’s leader.
This one kinda played out a bit like “The Last American Virgin” which started out like Porky’s and ended up a bit of perplexing shocker. Buck here is an odd movie that’s most definitely worth a watch if you’re a fan of the jungle adventure style movies, trashy 80’s schlock & weird out of place plot twists!
Kickstart GREEN BLAH! : The History of WISCONSIN Punk Rock?!!
The time has come to go back to my punk roots!! My first real passion as a kid was comic books but it wasn’t long until I fully discovered something else that truly engaged me – punk rock. Yes I grew up in Wisconsin and most people seem to think that all America’s Dairyland has to offer is beer & cheese, but hell you couldn’t be more wrong! Wisconsin has an incredibly rich history in punk rock and “Green Blah! The History of Green Bay Punk Rock” will once and for all prove all the naysayers wrong!!
When I was a kid I discovered how much was actually really going on in the punk scene right there. Sure there may not have been the legendary bands like Black Flag, Descendents, Circle Jerks or Bad Brains emerging from the scene but there were a lot of equally awesome bands that never got the respect they deserved from way back in the day. This documentary will prove that!
Growing up near Green Bay in the 80’s & 90’s was awesome for a kid like me who was hooked on the music because the scene there was bursting full of life. Yep Green Bay was where it was at if you were a touring punk band! The kids there were ravenous for punk because lets face it, there wasn’t a fuck of a lot to do in the suburbs of Wisconsin other than Skate & Destroy and go to punk rock shows. So now we finally get to let everyone in on the awesome scene that Green Bay & Wisconsin had going on! Green Blah! is a film by veteran Wisco punks Chris Pretti & James Baker and right now you can help fund this Documentary on Kickstarter! So all you punk rockers out there help these guys get this flick out there to document another important chapter in the history of punk music. Check this shit out and get on board already!!
Terminator: Genisys is Just Plain F#@kin’ Stupid A$$ Sh#t!
Oh man, oh man, I had my serious, serious doubts about Terminator: Genisys for quite sometime but some how magically at the last moment, while I watched the previews last night before the movie started, I wiped the slate completely clean and got myself fuckin’ pumped up for a new Terminator flick with Arnold back in the saddle! I mean that’s like a wet dream come true on paper for a nerdy nostalgic dude who grew up on shit like Predator, Commando & Running Man back in the ‘o so sweet 80’s!!!
But even I will be the first to admit that having a near seventy year old Arnold back as the T-800 was worrying the shit out of me. I mean how could they possibly think that would work in 2015?! To me it just seemed ridiculously stupid and nostalgia for nostalgia’s sake. But to be honest Arnold was the ONLY thing about the movie that kept me from dozing off into a deep slumber at the 10 o’clock showing last night! I’m gonna be honest with all you Terminator fans out there this movie is just one huge ass annoying stupid mess that just never needed to be made. Ever.
Hell the last Terminator movie shouldn’t have been made, but somehow we still get this thrown on our lap. I’ve no doubt this flick is gonna be a HUGE box office bomb. It seems Arnold just can’t seem to pull in the crowds like he used to. Arnold however is seriously NOT the problem here. What we got is a giant stupid-ass time travel cluster fuck of a flick that’s a complete waste of time that doesn’t make a lick of sense. You don’t even want to attempt try and figure out this dumb ass fucking stupid turd of a flick.
Yeah folks, it seems they just ran out of anything resembling good ideas here, and it took three shitty Terminator movies to come to this realization. Add in the fact that we’ve got way too many different actors playing John Connor at this point who’re dancing around a lone outdated T-800 who just keeps making random appearances in these movies and a Kyle Reese who’s nothing close to being as awesome as Michael Beihn’s classic character was. Nope we’ve got a generic soulless version of Reese and John Connor here AGAIN, with Sarah Connor not being too much better, thrown into a confusing, overblown plot that tries it’s damnedest to shoe horn Arnold back into flick by any means necessary. None of these actors have any chemistry together.
I think it’d be fun to actually sit down and make a list of reasons why this movie’s plot is the most lazy pile of horse shit Hollywood has come up with in decades. You can defuse most of it’s major ideas in just a few seconds after they’re introduced. I actually think Arnold really could have been the aging T-800 cyborg with finesse instead of a lame inside joke the entire movie. It could have somehow all made sense if someone just took a second look at the wretched script. I always imagined an older Arnold playing the man who designed the T-800 in his own image somehow being incorporated into an intelligent science fiction flick with all the incredible action elements & charm of the first two movies.
It also leads me to the age old question how the hell is Kyle Reese John Connor’s father in the first place? Spoiler ALERT: Why the hell doesn’t this movie’s Kyle Reese question how the hell this is even possible when he finds out?! Seriously If I was Kyle in this movie I would have said “I call major BULLSHIT everyone, give me a damn DNA test and prove it or I’m outta here”!!!
Lastly without spoiling too much, the major antagonist in this movie was clearly a terrible attempt at a twist, and made it clear they’ve officially run out of anything remotely interesting regarding the franchise. How many times are people being sent back in time here before they just throw up their hands and give this shit up? So final words skip this flick, it will make you angry & confused. But it’s just barely worth checking out if you want to see Arnold one last time giving it his all, as it turns out he’s the only thing remotely interesting in the entire movie….
Let’s Make ‘Hellboy 3’ Happen!!
I’m super happy that Ron Perlman is taking matters into his own hands recently with Hellboy 3!! To me it’s absoutely ridiculous that this franchise remains with out it’s final chapter! I’m a HUGE fan of the movies and HUGE fan of the Hellboy/BPRD Mignolaverse and while the movie took a bit of a different take on the character in many ways I still think Del Toro nailed the look and vibe of the whole comic book world they exist in. I don’t think it was humanly possible to cast a better Hellboy (Ron Perlman) and all of the FX work was 100%! I mean how amazing was Doug Jones as Abe Sapien too?!
Well apparently not quite amazing enough for the masses as we never got the third chapter of Guillermo’s planned trilogy. Perhaps the Hellboy universe is just too dang bizarre for the people who yearn for ultra chiseled male models in costume? But for some odd reason we are getting a sequel to the rather unimpressive forgettable Pacific Rim? What gives? Well Perlman and the rest of the cast are pretty damn excited to finish the story. Good ol’ Ron has been speaking out about getting the third film made saying:
“I don’t have any news for you, but there’s always a chance, I’m getting to that age where, if I waited much longer, ‘Hellboy 3’ will be performed out of a wheelchair. So I was basically trying to say, if there’s going to be this thing, it should be sooner rather than later. I wouldn’t want to be involved in a crowdfunding. I don’t think it’s the fans’ job to fund a movie; I think it’s up to the people who do it professionally. I think it’s the fans’ job to sit back and buy popcorn and Coke and watch a movie and enjoy it.”
So here at Universal Dork I wanna use my voice (what little one it may be) to get more of the word out about making Hellboy 3 finally happen! Let’s not get a rebooted Hellboy just yet, let’s finish the story we started and see what Hellboy’s fate really is. Will he bring about the destruction of mankind bringing Hell on earth? Or will he somehow fight the creatures from deep down in the firey pits? Imagine some of the other BPRD agents added to the cast like Panya, Roger the homunculus, Benjamin Daimio, Howards or how’s about Lobster Johnson?!
And also how about a B.P.R.D. movie?! Or a Netflix series? Give us something dammit! I have honestly been slowly becoming totally burnt out on The Avengers movies, I think that Ant-man looks like a bland 2008 Marvel movie with another boring villain and the same tired formula as most Marvel flicks being churned out. Highly forgettable shit in the end. I really believe the Hellboy movie universe holds a lot more intrigue, horror and mystery at the moment. To me Marvel movies are starting to feel like a bit like a shiny boring Pepsi commercial. But in this day and age that’s what most people seem to dig, and if a film isn’t going to make massive amounts of cash then Hollywood just ain’t interested. The first two films didn’t make an obscene amount of money, so the idea of a third movie being made today I guess is kinda unfathomable.
To me the movies always seemed a little too unique and smart for the mainstream. Crowdfunding may indeed be the only way to get this one off the ground at this point. Or perhaps they could re-cast some male supermodels in the roles of Abe Sapien and Hellboy and make them all sexy? Ugghhh…Despite all of that I still think Ron Perlman’s Hellboy could be the guy who saves the superhero flick….let’s get the word out there!
“Turbo Kid” Trailer Has Arrived!
I blogged about this one a a couple weeks ago and now we have the official trailer for “Turbo Kid”! This look like a ton of fun for any fan of those 80’s Mad Max style flicks. “In a post-apocalyptic future a young solitary scavenger obsessed with comic books must face his fears and become a reluctant hero when he meets a mysterious girl. From horror masterminds Ant Timpson (The ABCs Of Death 1 & 2, Housebound) and Jason Eisener (Hobo With A Shotgun).”
This one looks pretty over the top! Check this shit out!!!
Universal Dork 