Category: comedy

Forgotten Halloween Gems: ‘HELLBENT’ Was The First Gay Slasher?!

I’ve been looking for some different films to watch this Halloween season-We’re now over halfway through October and for me it’s all about “Halloween themed” horror! But this year I’m feeling a lot more like branching out than ever before & watching some of those usual traditional flicks can get a little bit boring each & every year in my opinion. So if you’re feeling like I am & looking for something worth a real watch then you’ve come to the right place I’m going to throw a few gems your way that take place on Halloween! Well back in 2004 “the first gay slasher” was released and largely ignored by the horror community, HELLBENT lives up to the tag line and also takes place on Halloween night! Not only that but it’s a pretty damn solid slasher with unique, likeable characters and some good suspense to keep your heart a’ poundin’.

The only totally gay horror flick of its kind I’ve ever seen, (I guess there might’ve been another one similar on Hulu a couple years back called ‘Into the Dark: Midnight Kiss’ that sort of had this same vibe?) Hellbent though was way ahead of the curve, coming out of the closet almost 20 years ago now, making a purely gay horror movie that during the time was pushing the boundaries of what you might see in your local video store (remember those?). I don’t think the characters here act like the gay stereotypes we’ve seen in most films, instead the director wanted to insert slasher movie character/victim tropes of the 70s, 80s and 90s. So what we kind of get here is more of the “traditional slasher” characters but given the gay twist. In some ways the characters end up feeling almost like they were plucked right out of ‘American Pie’, I’d say the best factor of this movie is just how endearing the characters are. Most slasher films of the past and especially the present feature a lot of people who you might sorta hope die at the hands of the psychotic sicko because they’re just so damn annoying. Not the case here, I really didn’t want to see ANY of them die and that’s a big part of what makes a good horror film so much more engaging, the suspense and the wonder of who, if anyone at all is going to survive.

Back to my “American Pie” comparison, ‘Hellbent’ does feature a gang of pretty hilarious horny gay guys going out on the town during Halloween night, headed off to a wild pride  costume party, with fore-knowledge of a vicious serial killer on the loose who’s already murdered two hunky gay men. The main slasher villain is pretty imposing, he’s basically built like Arnold Schwarzenegger, wears a red devil mask, no shirt and carries a sharp sickle that he uses to decapitate his prey. In other words he’s an evil silent force to be reckoned with and his motives are never quite clear-but it’s implied he might be repressed and mentally deranged. It’s anyones guess!

‘Hellbent’ has also got a lot of solid locations for a horror movie as well, some taking place in the midst of the party, a heavily wooded foggy park and some of the most vicious scenes right on the dance floor. There’s plenty of Halloween decor to absorb as well as some creepy misty atmosphere, despite the fact the film was shot on digital video which can at times be a bit shoddy looking and at other times quite fantastic, you can clearly tell that the director put a lot of passion trying to give it just the right vibe. Sadly some of it’s scenes can look a bit inconsistent in presentation-maybe a clean blu ray restoration could clear that all up? That would be nice.

So does this slasher deliver the the gory kills? While it’s not a total bloodbath, there are enough ghastly kills too keep you on the edge of your seat, covering your eyes and I’ll go as far to say this is one of the best slasher films I’ve seen of the 2000’s Y2K era. But it’s all not just blood-and-guts as there’s plenty of well delivered comedy and even a surprising amount of romance in the air for this gang of wild and crazy dudes. As you might expect, not everyone makes it out of the predicament alive and it’s tension rises as you try to figure out who’ll be the last to survive this grizzly Halloween night party massacre!

I’ve never quite seen a horror movie quite like it, you’d think in 2023 this sort of concept would be all the rage. But this one doesn’t make a giant deal out of the fact that our main characters are all gay, instead they just happen to be gay and put into an extremely tense situation. Hellbent also doesn’t preach to the audience or bring up tired tropes about aids or even dabble in homophobia, it rather showcases a sweeter side of being gay and having cool friends to hang out out and party with…

It’s not trying to lecture you either, like a lot of films currently seem to feel the need to try to do, it’s just trying to give you a good Halloween horror adventure with characters to root for- just like many of the great slasher films of the iconic 80’s era. This one deserves a lot more love and I’m certain it’s bound to soon be discovered again by a new generation of horror fans and build a firm cult following.

Back in 2004 it played the gay & lesbian film festival circuit and was released on dvd by TLA Releasing, a global leader in LGBTQ films. It’s been disputed if it’s indeed actually the first gay slasher film-but hey that’s how they marketed it. So If you’re looking for something different this year like I am, you can’t go wrong with this cool little indie queer horror fright film- It’s full of plenty of tricks and treats standing on its own as a good example of how to celebrate diversity in horror in a refreshing way….

MOVIE MELT Podcast: Sensei Kreese is the Real HERO and also the ‘JUDGE & JURY’!!

First & foremost, I am one of the BIGGEST ‘Karate Kid’ fans on the PLANET! Hence that means I’m a HUGE damn fan of Martin Kove AKA Sensei Kreese-so imagine discovering that Kove starred in a weird action/horror hybrid flick called ‘JUDGE & JURY’ from 1996 was quite exciting for my lizard brain! Better yet Martin Kove isn’t the villain, nope he’s the god-damn hero finally and it’s a also plays on the horror trope of “evil death row inmate who can’t be killed in the electric chair and comes back for vengeance with supernatural powers” -YES! Look at this crap-tastic VHS cover too- is it really any wonder why it’s not a well know film?!

This falls into the whole “Shocker/Horror Show/Prison” genre but with almost a “Lifetime channel” film vibe mixed with huge explosions, car chases and supernatural shenanigans a’plenty. Well now all of you Cobra Kai fanatics can get the full scoop on this odd little forgotten 90’s gem that IMO deserves a lot more love and attention (not to mention a sweet long overdue blu ray) on the newest episode of MOVIE MELT! We cover all the details of this bizarre film, talk plenty about Martin Kove’s career & also for some reason get stuck in a wild hamster wheel of discussing the hottest, sexiest primate on the damn planet: SHABANI!! Have you heard about this handsome model-esque real life gorilla model? HOTT as HELL!

Ok well there’s also a “battle of the bands” and soooo much more ridiculous cinematic brain numbing nonsense you likely need to fill your head with- we discuss RIGHT HERE! Check this shit out….And Martin Kove if you’re listening (I know you often read the blog still) pleeeez call the Movie Melt hotline to let us know what you think about our intense feels about JUDGE & JURY!! Even if you’re not Mr. Kove call us at this number (724) 246-4669 we promise no one will answer!!! Listen to MOVIE MELT RIGHT HERE!

Wisconsin’s Lost 80’s SOV Teen Horror Tale: THE BOY’S NIGHT OUT Coming Soon On VHS?!!

I’m super excited to announce something very special to me that’ll be finally be seen by the public! THE BOY’S NIGHT OUT is a 30-minute “supernatural slasher” horror film that my friends and I shot on video with a camcorder in Wisconsin waaaaaay back in 1989! I’ve been holding on to the VHS copy of the tape for 34 years, the raw footage was essentially a loose story that we tried to our best to cobble together with no re-shot scenes, in “one take” chronological order. Hey, I know that of course isn’t a great way to film a movie-but we didn’t have editing apps or cellphone tech of today to do it all-this was the REAL deal. To make things even more difficult in our film making endeavor, a few of the “key dialogue” scenes were accidentally shot with NO sound (we were sooo bummed!) and many of the scenes needed a big volume boost as well as a music score. The film’s music was recorded by the camcorder, with a boombox being played next to it (we used the Halloween 5 soundtrack) and the “special fx” sounds done by teenagers snapping sticks etc in close vicinity. This was indeed a HIGH quality production!

That also doesn’t mean the sound fx dudes always did their job and there were always a few scenes where we wish we’d have tried a second take. But for a bunch of teens in the midwest back in the 80s we made it work and it was still a project to remember for life. Well flash forward to present times, for years I’d alway thought about how awesome it’d be to edit the movie for real, especially since there seems to be a new appreciation for shot on video relics. So after reviewing the footage again it was clear that some changes were needed to shape the narrative of the story. So I wrote a new “script” to our old story that my friend John Kundinger and I came up with back then.  I got some of the original cast members to lend their voices to fill in the gaps where the camcorder failed to record dialogue and we even added some new dialogue to round out the plot points but never erasing any of the the original lines that were clear and audible.

The problem was, back in the summer of 1989 we didn’t have any way of editing footage and to make it cohesive everything had to be put in the exact order on the first take of filming each scene. If this didn’t happen the story just wouldn’t flow so we did our best to plan it all out every time the record button was pressed. Since the 80s only a handful of people saw the movie. That being said we did have a “premiere”, a one time showing in class at Neenah High School in Wisconsin. The teacher was kind enough to let us show it during class to my fellow classmates and pulled up that big TV/VCR from the AV department into the classroom. Quite a big deal to us at least! Of course we had to explain a few key scenes to everyone while the movie played due to sound issues etc. Despite that, the class loved it and it was a pretty great day at school in 1989 that I’ll never forget! There were even a few fx shots that had the class in awe….ahhh the 80s….

 So here I am 30 plus years later, I just got a new laptop and finally got that classic footage uploaded to ensure my lone VHS copy of the movie lived on. Then my friend who runs ‘Black VVideo‘ (a Portland, OR movie label that specializes in unearthing long lost movie relics specifically on VHS) encouraged me to try to give the film the edit or let’s now say a “director’s cut”. I followed her advice and finally I think was able to give the film’s story more of the original narrative we were trying to convey, even adding a little extra to mix this past summer when I’d luckily gotten my hands on a real life camcorder. I’d also gave it an improved soundtrack where music was missing (yeah there’s still the original ‘Halloween 5’ cassette score in the scenes, recorded directly from the boombox positioned next to the camcorder), but now there’s a few local punk/metal bands from the Fox Valley area in the movie’s mix (from demo tapes of that era) and an additional synth score added where needed that a couple of my friends here in Portland provided. This little film obviously isn’t the greatest SOV horror flick, but it is a time capsule of 80s teenage life in the midwest and working on it really brought me back to simpler times. But I’ll never forget it because we caught it ALL on tape!

“Shot in 1989 with a camcorder on VHS in the Fox Valley, Wisconsin. ‘The Boys Night Out’ follows a group of mischievous teen bullies whose plans to “eliminate” two nerds during the final weekend of summer takes a dark unexpected turn. Can they survive to see their junior year of high school begin on Monday? Or will they fall prey to the vengeful supernatural forces they’ve somehow awoken? It’s anyones guess in this coming of age tale of betrayal, murder & retribution.”

That’s ‘The Boys Night Out’ in a nutshell and it’s coming soon on VHS from Black VVideo & Hollywood Babylon Home Video-so pull out your VCR from the attic and dust it off-I’ve got an old school authentic midwestern horror relic from 80’s that’s coming your way soon on VHS! Stay TUNED!

 

NIGHT TRAP: Sega’s 1992 “Controversial” B-Movie VHS Video Game?!

Anyone else remember the intense horror of 1992’s interactive shot on video Sega video game NIGHT TRAP?! Me neither-but I stumbled on this oddity recently and was fully intrigued to somehow check it out. Well it’s not a video game that I’ll likely be able to track down to play anytime soon on a real consoles, we can watch all the footage though and see for ourselves what this weird lil’ B-movie video game is really all about.

Developed in 1992 for ‘Sega CD’ using SOV footage from 1987 the game concept was originally picked up by Hasbro but was suddenly shelved in 1989. However people were still sniffing around this intriguing interactive movie concept and Sega eventually bit and released it in 1992 and the game generated some real negative hype quick fast. Take a look at these “vampires” in one of the scenes that got it’s creators in HOT water!

The game’s story line was absolutely perfect for B-movie horror fanatics, featuring a teenage girl’s slumber party being overrun with bloodthirsty “vampires” while you watch “live surveillance” video of them and trigger traps around the house to foil the creatures of the night from feasting upon them for a midnight snack. Night Trap however brought along some big controversy though-it was discussed in a Senate hearing along with ‘Mortal Combat’ as being an example of violence in video games that corrupts the minds of youths in America and brings real life violence into the streets and suburbs-Night Trap was that intensely influential to young psychopaths everywhere apparently-who’d a thunk?!

It triggered a “rating system” for games, it must’ve been quite a wild bloodbath huh? Hardly, but it was wild enough to get huge toy store chains to completely remove it from their shelves. I definitely remember in the 90’s the campaign’s for censorship running WILD in the music industry but who knew an SOV horror video game could generate SO much intense governmental rage?! When you actually watch the game’s most “notorious” scenes it’s laughable that anyone would use THIS as an example for extreme video game violence. This is prime cheez and obviously early 90’s politicians didn’t know a good thing when they’ve seen it!

There really is no blood and it’s somewhat pathetic execution of said “violence” is pretty much just dumb fun. There’s vampires being foiled by amusing but sub par “home alone style” house traps and I guess it’s likely that some of the controversy came from the concept of a home invasion on teenage girls. Speaking of the teens a familiar face of the 1980s stars here as well, Dana Plato (RIP) known best as Kimberly in ‘Diff’rent Strokes’ starred in the game to really give it some 80’s star power super cred.

 This is such a cool little relic for fans of bad horror movies and VHS, to me it reminds me a bit of the “Dragon’s Lair” style game play. Where pressing buttons simply changes scenes and outcomes-rather than actually “controlling things”. Like a “choose your own adventure” style video game that really outraged those politicians-looking back they must feel like morons raising a stink about this cheeky, cheezy little video game. I suggest watching the full game on YouTube or check this video out-it gives you a great idea visually what this oddity was all all about!

VHS Verdict: 80’s ‘Flesheaters from Outer Space’ Invade New Jersey!

Some ‘shot on video’ horror flicks can be a real challenge to get through in my opinion. I always give an “A for effort” but let’s face it, shooting a feature film on a camcorder in the late 1980s doesn’t always equal a real memorable viewing experience. However I can firmly say that if you’re in the mood for some highly ambitious, enjoyable trash that ‘Flesheaters From Outer Space’ all the way back from 1989 surely delivers the damn goods! 

It’s actually got quite an ambitious little plot going on for something made on a shoe string budget. Somehow director, Warren F. Disbrow, manages to for the most part pull it off while slipping in some heavy metal Jersey hunks and babes as well as gore a ‘plenty along the way.  As you can probably imagine the New Jersey area in this Nifty little horror film is a delight to visit and of course features a carnivorous space alien on the loose causing havoc major around around every seedy corner in town. The film goes in a lot of strange directions particularly having a hard time settling on one particular plot narrative to follow. It features a hunky heavy metal band, a woman with psychic powers, a “John Rambo” type drifter as well as an offshoot serial killer storyline trying to interweave into it as well. But all that aside this is really a movie to turn your brain off too becuz ‘Flesheaters from Outer Space’ also really manages to cram in some pretty gory and gooey C-grade monster affects as well for horror hounds to chomp on. Yeah there’s plenty of the red stuff flowing freely here, and a whole motley cadre of numbskulls for this hungry alien creature to munch on.

But it’s not all just horror here, there’s plenty of boobs, butts (men and women), wild 1980s parties, teenage drama and even some unexpected romance as well as a couple musical numbers by a pretty “impressive” glam rock band that’s slightly over stays it’s welcome in the best ways possible. I guess in a way it has a sort of “low-rent x files” type of thing going on as well, at around 90 minutes though it sure does oddly begin to feel it’s run time being much longer than it actually is. However I can’t say in this case it’s a particularly bad thing because this movie never gets boring-it’s is a pretty excellent party flick to enjoy with your friends and a couple of beers. That’s most definitely the best way to view this one. I think it’s likely because the movie goes in so many stupid directions that you feel like you’re getting an overload of ridiculous subplots and without spoiling it all it has one of those relatively abrupt but satisfying endings.

There’s also some pretty cool little twists that you probably will never see coming-I mean it’s no Alfred Hitchcock but it really tries to deliver you the goods and I’ve always got to appreciate the ambition the director had for his shot on video vision. Apparently they filmed a sequel for this in 1998 called ‘Invasion for Flesh and Blood’.

I’m gonna have to seek that out for sure and see if the lighting strikes twice. I see that Troma released this on a double feature disc-but back in the day it was released on video by In the meantime I’m looking forward to checking out the sequel. If you’re looking for something stupid to watch with friends on a Saturday night then this one’s sure to scratch your “so bad it’s good” movie itch. It’s really got it all and you can’t help but find the charm in a movie that really tries it’s best to go for the gold….Oh and there’s no trailer for this one online but there is for the sequel:

MOVIE MELT Returns for Uganda’s FIRST & BEST Action Flick!

The latest episode of Movie Melt is here, where we head deep into the jungle’s of Uganda to cover their very first and greatest action film! You better believe it, ‘Who Killed Captain Alex?’ is a truly special film that really goes the damn distance. This wild and totally unpredictable little production from 2010 comes with a true story behind it that’s maybe even better than the actual film itself!

Director Nabwana I.G.G. has a real love and passion for action flicks of yesteryear and against all the odds set out to make his dream come true-create Uganda’s first over the top bonafide bad ass action movie, complete with the craziest CGI “explosions” & helicopter battles you’ve ever seen! It so ridiculously ambitious and manic while being set in the beauty of Uganda just makes the whole experience that much more intriguing. 

It will make your brain melt. But It’s also got some pretty impressive top notch martial arts, wildly over the top villains and instead of the the normal audio track (which was accidentally erased forever by the director) we’ve got a dude named “V.J. Emmie” from Uganda doing a rip roaring “must hear it to believe it” commentary track to spice thing way up.

 Think Mystery Science Theater by way of Africa-with this bizarre version of the film being the only version in existence. It’s a real bonkers movie experience and the lengths the director went to make this movie a reality are a real charm-we get into all the incredible details of one of the most ambitious low budget cinematic gems out there. But this is only the beginning for Uganda’s intense string of films from director I.G.G.. We also do “battle of the bands” and dicuss all the weird movie mayhem going on today as well as chat about some must see rare forgotten gems in one of the most intriguing episodes of the show! Check this shit out RIGHT HERE!

Oh and if you wanna watch it before we take the deep dive it’s free to watch on Youtube. However I highly recommend supporting Nabwana’s future endeavors in Ugandan action at his website right HERE!! Also pleeez call our answering machine and leave us a message dial (724) 246-4669 and let us know what you think of the show or tell us about any crazy cinematic shit you’re lil’ heart desires!!

Monster “Home Appliance Horror” from 1980s Japan: BATTLE HEATER!

There’s been some weirdo horror films out there that feature home appliances that go crazy-movies like ‘The Refrigerator’, ‘Death Bed’ and ‘Pulse’ to name a few but I’ve never seen anything quite like the Japanese creature feature BATTLE HEATER from 1989….

I’d never heard a peep about this until about a week ago, but this little slice of late 80s oddball cinema is essentially a monster movie, with some pretty clever comedy, punk rock and a cast of memorable eccentric characters that keep the party raging until it’s crazy finale. Right from the opening it’s clear you’re in for something quite special, the movie’s title appears onscreen as some sort of UFO/meteorite crashing to the ground and knocking a bad ass samurai style “Ghostbuster” straight into space.

That’s just the start as the story then follows two kooky electronics repairmen who grab a possessed “kotatsu”, a low wooden table frame, underneath is a heat source, built into the table itself. Yes, the table is an evil force to be reckoned with (a possessed appliance!) and one of the repairmen takes it home with him to his super stylin’, spooky apartment complex. The setting is most definitely one of my favorite things about this one, without the creature aspect the building itself looks like one giant haunted maze-with some really interesting decor in it’s lobby and dark hallways that really add to the film’s general uncanny tone.

Here things begin to go off the rails as our hero’s neighbors are all quite mysterious characters in their own right. On one side of his apartment he’s got a murderous couple, who’re trying dispose of the body parts of one of their most recent kills and on the other a wild rockabilly punk rock band with a serious attitude problem to contend with. Slowly this “possessed” heater begins to develop a mind of his own and a serious appetite. It begins to resemble something straight out of 1982’s ‘The Thing’ as it develops tentacles and slimy jaws of death and begins to venture out into the apartment building to feast on unsuspecting victims. The practical fx here are really quite well done and by the finale it’s a gooey visual feast on the eyes. The whole thing is quite as ambitious as it ludicrous.

I really like this era of film, the late 80’s have just the right touch (great monster effects devoid of CGI) and seeing this bizzaro horror comedy’s wild plot unfold onscreen is a real treat. It isn’t all a total farce either, though there’s a few obvious call backs to classic horror films, ‘Battle Heater’ has some great memorable and equally likable characters, even some romance and a madcap plot that’s truly unlike anything I’ve seen before.

As a HUGE fan of monster movies I’d say this is easily one of my favorite recent discoveries-it hits all the right beats for me with enough quirky charm, 80s Japanese fashion, manic energy and a final act that ramps up the craziness in the most unexpected and glorious ways. Things take some pretty ridiculous twists and turns as the table heater grows in size and our bumbling electronics repairmen have to rise to the occasion to survive the monster as well as their creepy neighbors.

The whole thing looks beautiful too, filmed with impressive spooky foggy atmosphere, great creepy detailed sets and some sweet Japanese punk numbers to liven things things up. It’s a straight up horror comedy but also has some stakes as well a few frightening sequences- director George lida has crafted some other unique horror films of note, the likes of Cyclops (1987), Spiral (1998) & Another Heaven (2000).  ‘Battle Heater’ however really delivers the spectacle in that classic late 80’s vibe and makes me so damn curious about just what other gems from Japan are still awaiting for me to discover? In the meantime I highly recommend this largely forgotten piece of truly 1980s horror. I got the copy pictured above from Far East Flix-most definitely a fun website to browse!

YTK Horrors: Juggalos from Hell Conjure DEMONS AT THE DOOR!

Moronic demons vs. Moronic humans! Who will win this epic battle you might wonder? Well if you check out 2004’s ‘Demons at the Door’ you’re gonna find out that answer real quickly while also likely lowering your IQ level from severe brain damage by simply observing this incredibly WTF movie. That’s not to say it’s not a damn good time though- It’s just gotta be seen to be believed. I was lucky to watch it for an impressive bad movie nite-paired it up with an equally trashy ridiculous heavy metal infused thriller from 2001 we reviewed here a while back called ‘Turbulence 3: Heavy Metal‘. Highly recommend the duo for a real night of mental cinematic destruction!

‘Demons at the Door’ is really a product of this time filmed in 2001 and later released in 2004, you can see all of the influences worn pretty openly on its sleeves. Director Roy Knyrim, an effects artist who worked on movies like the Abyss, Toxic Avenger II, A Nightmare on Elm Street 3, Auntie Lee’s Meat Pies- really goes the distance here. With the gooey practical effects in full force but also paired with some of the shittiest, pathetic visual special effects I’ve seen maybe….ever? Somehow though it adds to the general charm of the movie making it easily one of the most mind numbing pieces of enjoyable trash I’ve seen in quite some time. That’s a compliment too-this one’s bad to the damn BONE but perfect for a midnight movie.

 I knew after seeing his 2006 film ‘Cemetery Gates‘ (starring none other than Reggie Banister of ‘Phantasm’ fame) I knew I just had to give another movie of his a shot and I’m certainly glad I did. I found this weirdo monster movie on an ultra cheapo bargain bin DVD collection I’d had for a while of ten Z-grade horror films called ‘Urban Chillz’ and connected the dots. Now I’ve got to be honest, I’m quite curious about what other ridiculous gems might also be lurking on that 2 disc collection?

 The premise: a group of military archeologist bone-heads in the deserts of the Middle East become trapped inside their lab after an incredibly idiotic encounter with an extremist (obviously post 911 paranoia) triggers a gate from hell to open outside, leaving, you guessed it demons at the damn door! The demons are after some ancient amulet or something and really amped up on hurling the crassest insults at anyone they come into contact with. Unfortunately for them they’re not the brightest bulbs in the depths of Hell.

From this opening “action” scene it’s quite clear you’re in for some really absurdly executed fight sequences as well as full on numb-nut characters. Both the humans and demon alike are the ultimate low IQ adversaries and for the most trying to play it all pretty straight aside from some clearly dated one liners-equally spouted by both parties. The demons at one point declare they’ve “fucked the Blair Witch” so we know they’re real clever guys and up on the current trends of the time.

The cast is made up of quite a motley crew, a couple of meathead ripped commandos, a hot badass archeologist along with her super smart doctor dad and an angel who looks like Lou Ferrigno’s brother who dresses in leather S&M gear. They square off with these seriously dicey demons and their truly foul mouths. These demons try their damndest to get under the crew’s skin in the vein of Linda Blair in The Exorcist except 1000 times more annoying and unconvincing. These demons are racist, sexist, homophobic and also complete dipshits that are in desperate need a good ass kicking’ in the worst way.

They’re created by way of some pretty impressive (yet stupid looking rubber suits/puppetry) old school practical effects and there’s a lot on display here to enjoy for creature fanatics. They’re big, gross and full of green slime that’s just waiting to ooze and spurt geysers of blood. One of the demons is even portrayed by Richard Elfman and is one of the most annoying movie monsters put to film-you’ll seriously wanna bust his chops as soon as his mouth starts a flappin’.

Spoiler alert-there’s plenty of demon ball busting to bring down the house and the whole affair is quite a spectacle to behold. With a quick run time of just over 80 minutes it’s a short and sweet little creature feature/demon romp that’s also got quite the soundtrack-it’s jam packed with Insane Clown Posse tunes, spilling with “Juggalo juice” some might even say! Apparently the director also directed an ICP video as well as their 2006 horror anthology film ‘Chronicles of the Dark Carnival’. 

Lastly I’ve just gotta report that the final act of this film is one of the biggest WTF finales I’ve ever seen-you WILL lose brain cells after viewing it-and I’m NOT trying to be funny. I think you’ve just got to see it for yourself to really believe it. I’m now a bit of a Roy Knyrim fan and just got to track down his other films in hopes they’re as entertaining as Demon’s at the Door and Cemetery Gates-it’s quite a tall order indeed. This one is destined to be a cult favorite, the whole thing is currently on Youtube or you can track down that weird ass Urban Chills dvd! Be ready for some of the worst CGI ever put to film and one of the most idiotically entertaining horror movies of the early 2000s…..someone clean this up for a sweet blu ray pleeez!

Here’s a funny IMDB review, it features one of the actors who played a demon in the film check out his insight: “Forgive Me, for I knew not what I did. Yup, thats me under tons of rubber and goo. Shot on one long day in North Hollywood in front of a green screen, I played, the Demon, at The door. Thats my Blair Witch line, uttered with as much emotion as I could, fed to Me by the director himself. Under that 10 pound rubber mask, I huffed and I puffed and howled, because the contact lenses of the original make up design were unwearable. I got paid nothing, so I’m still proud of what was done. You get what Your paid for here. I did a favor for a friend and never heard from said friend again. Hope He’s O.K. What a shock to see it at a Highland Park Blockbuster several years later, actually release on the unsuspecting public. Sheeeesh!!!”

 

The Best of Netflix DVD: Reggie Banister Enters the CEMETERY GATES!!

Reggie Banister of “Phantasm fame” is one of my favorite horror heroes-hands down! The horror franchise is my all time favorite of the genre, Reggie is one of the main reasons why it resonates with me so hard. What I’ve noticed though is Reg really doesn’t take center stage in any other movies I can think of, it’s usually just brief cameos in things like ‘Bubba Ho-tep’ or even ‘Kenny & Company’. Well that’s what I was led to believe but low and behold through the Netflix “red envelope” dvd mailer program (that’s sadly coming to an end soon), I received a movie from queue that’d been sitting there for years!  The 2004 (or 2006?) horror flick CEMETERY GATES finally arrived in the mail, I really had quite low expectations and quickly noticed Reggie Banister was appearing, I figured he’d likely be doing another “horror cameo” in a low budget production. Well I couldn’t have been more wrong!

I was pleasantly surprised, Reggie is one of the main characters in this one & better yet even the movie is somehow a total gem-a gore soaked, practical fx creature feature with heart and a heroic dose of humor while also a somewhat intriguing story at play. Yeah I was expecting a steamin’ load of shit and what I got was one of my new favorites of the 2000’s horror movies. It’s filled with a cast of fun characters, many of which are total boneheads, which make this little gnarly flick even more of a blast. It’s the story of an escaped lab animal-a giant mutated Tasmanian devil named “Precious” who goes on a muderous rampage in the countryside when set loose by some numbskull animal rights activists.

The lab Precious came from is owned by……Reggie Banister, a seasoned scientist who’s sad about his son moving out on his own. His son an aspiring horror filmmaker is heading out to the country with his horny numb nut buddies to film a zombie film, little does he know his childhood now mutated “pet” Precious (who was experimented on) is running wild in the vicinity.

Precious though is not the only threat, there’s some horny braindead hillbillies, who look like the perfect lunch for a tasmanian devil, also raising hell. Reggie and his sexy scientist buddy soon discover the missing creature and set out to the countryside to try and track it down before it goes completely bonkers on the local population.

Cemetery Gates has got a lot going for it, Reggie pretty awesome in it and there’s a certain bit of idiotic charm to his relationship with his son AND his son’s relationship with the former lab pet turned mutant. It’s also a load of fun to see all these utterly moronic characters get ripped to shreds by Precious. We’ve got the idiotic hillbillies, some middle aged stoners, Richard Elfman as an insane fisherman, the bonehead amateur actors and a few random hikers that suffer the brunt of the gore. The fun is really had when we see Precious in the flesh on it’s killing spree. She tears limbs, decapitates and rips apart a ton of people all in gloriously gooey practical fx and real onscreen “blood” galore. The creature looks pretty damn good too in that sorta 1980s style monster mayhem.

It’s so absurdly charming looking in the flesh and when the final confrontation goes down with Precious it becomes a “family affair’. Reggie, his son, his girlfriend and Reggie’s hot lab partner go all in on taking down the mutated ‘taz in a dark subterranean lair beneath a cemetery. There’s some real heart here at it’s core that sincerely shines through all of the moronic antics that occur and I really appreciate the entire fiasco.

It to me, hits all the right beats, finally another film essentially featuring Reggie front and center to love. He’s here in all of his hair dyed glory to kick some monster booty once again & who’d have thought it’d be again in the mid 2000’s? There’s some good atmosphere and plenty of mischief for Reggie & co to get into as well. If this thing had been released in the 80s it’d be a bonafide cult classic. I’ve NEVER heard anyone speak a peep about Cemetery Gates, so I’m taking it to my platform to get the damn word out.

It’s the perfect midnight movie to rock with some starving cinemaniacs-they may doubt it’s merit by it’s cover but chances are it’ll quench any gorehounds thirst as well as tickle their funny bone. Cemetery Gates is true 2000’s cult classic in the wings…. 

VHS Verdict: The 1990s Fairy Tale “Horror” of RUMPELSTILTSKIN!

I saw ‘Leprechaun’ IN the theater back in ’93, my girlfriend and I were the ONLY ones in the entire theater! Of course I had a damn good time and believe that ‘Leprechaun’ sort of kick-started a little mini genre of “fairytale horror” in the 1990s. While the director of the original Leprechaun also made another movie a few years later 1995 Rumpelstiltskin! Yep Mark Jones the writer and director of the ’93 cult classic also gave the a similar treatment to this weird little one without the “success” of the Warwick Davis fronted franchise.

 Well last night I Pulled out my cool promotional copy of the VHS along with my projector, some friends, drinks and checked it out on the “big” screen.  In all honesty I’m not entirely sure that I’ve ever really seen this movie before (even though I could have sworn that I had). Nonetheless Rumpelstiltskin delivered the same ridiculous goods in the same fashion as the original Leprechaun. The best way to describe this one would be a sort of  “Terminator style” road chase movie- but instead of an imposing hulking cyborg you get a gimpy numb-nut fairy tale villain, who cracks ridiculous one liners while he chases a woman down trying to steal her baby to suck it’s soul!

In other words it’s a god damn good time! Our main mischievous villain here, Rumpelstiltskin, looks like he was plucked right out of Stephen King’s horror anthology ‘Cat’s Eye’.  He wakes up from a 1000 year slumber and dropped into the 1990s. This all after being turned into a small stone sculpture after a group of villagers hunt him down after he steals one of their babies. You might think that this guy would have a hard time navigating the ’90s, but quite the opposite. Rumpelstiltskin seems to be quite adept in nearly everything he tries, Whether it’s riding a Harley or driving a stick shift semi truck- ‘ol ‘Rumpy can do it! The funny thing is he comes across more like a character that might appear in ‘Ernest Scared Stupid’ than a wicked soul sucking goblin!

 It’s your fairly standard “being chased through the countryside road trip” horror formula (which I FUCKING love)- but it definitely does have a few really fun tricks up its dirty little sleeve. Our main character is a widowed single mom (Kim Johnston Ulrich) with a baby of course and some of this actually plays out a bit like a “Sex in the City” episode. She hangs out with her horny female friends, drinks wine and tries to navigate being single in the era with a baby…the last thing she needs is THIS weirdo throwing a wrench into being a mom!

There’s definitely a certain degree of unpredictability to some the characters we’re introduced to which makes this an even more interesting watch. Particularly when we’re introduced to a sleazy, cheezy, sexist TV host, who comes across a bit like a second rate Howard Stern. The type of character you won’t be seeing “rise to the occasion” in any movie coming out in 2023 that’s for sure. 

 However I’m a sucker for an unlikely pairing of characters ‘on the run’ from true danger in horror movies and this one really BRINGS it. You’re never quite sure who’s going to suffer the consequences from an encounter with ol’ Rumpy! If you’re a fan of the original ‘Leprechaun’ there’s definitely a lot right here to love, Some cool make up effects, pretty sweet action sequences, explosions and like Warwick Davis’s character, some great idiotically witty banter! Rumpelstiltskin is prime candidate for a sweet new blu ray. It’s really long overdue that he gets a cult following and the true recognition he deserves-this is a really sweet totally 90s horror comedy,  jam packed with ridiculous fashion of the time and characters you’re likely not to see anytime soon on the big or small screen. A great example that the 90s indeed does have some horror gems hidden within the decade! Track down this weird little fairy tale & turn off your brain to thoroughly enjoy the ride..