Tagged: Horror

Yo “Mama” Never Looked So Scary!

I posted a little short film a couple weeks ago called “Mama” “three minutes of what the hell is going on?” freaky ass shit! Well the short clip received so much positive feedback that director Andy Muschietti got the go ahead to make the idea into a full on feature film.

Telling the story of two little girls who lived “alone” in the woods for five years after their parents passed away. Luckily they are finally rescued, however it seems “Mama” has also come with them to their new suburban home. Check out the trailer, it’s no wonder why Del Toro got his name all over this one like the short film it looks freaky as all get out! This one will be released January 2013…

Mama: The Freakiest 3 Minute Movie!

I watched this a couple weeks ago for the first time and it scared the shit out of me! It’s a 3 minute short film called Mama, directed by Andy Muschietti and soon to be a feature length film produced by none other than Guillermo Del Toro set for release in 2013.

It’s a freaky little clip that is sure to raise the hairs on you neck-it’s actually kinda of cool to watch for the first time because you really just have no idea what the fuck is going on check it!

Now that you have seen the clip here’s the synopsis for the feature film via Shocktillyoudrop.com:

“Guillermo del Toro presents Mama, a supernatural thriller that tells the haunting tale of two little girls who disappeared into the woods the day that their mother was murdered. When they are rescued years later and begin a new life, they find that someone or something still wants to come tuck them in at night.

The day their father killed their mother, sisters Victoria and Lilly vanished near their suburban neighborhood. For five long years, their Uncle Lucas and his girlfriend, Annabel, have been madly searching for them. But when, incredibly, the kids are found alive in a decrepit cabin, the couple wonders if the girls are the only guests they have welcomed into their home.

As Annabel tries to introduce the children to a normal life, she grows convinced of an evil presence in their house. Are the sisters experiencing traumatic stress, or is a ghost coming to visit them? How did the broken girls survive those years all by themselves? As she answers these disturbing questions, the new mother will find that the whispers she hears at bedtime are coming from the lips of a deadly presence.”

I will be there in theaters for this one without a doubt!

A Duo of Hopefully Rad Upcoming Halloween Horror!

This Halloween season I will be once again looking forward to some great new horror, at least something good I can see in the theater! So far what’s looking the best to me are two movies in particular that will most likely show up in theaters across the nation. First we have “Sinister” which looks so far like it’s going to be a creepy ass little ghost story which stars Ethan Hawke.

It makes you think twice about setting up a projector and playing random strange films that you uncover from an attic! Check it out, So far I am digging the creepy monster dude who appears to be the movie’s “Freddy Kruger”. Yeah it’s kinda humorous seeing that creepy guy appear everywhere especially since he kinda reminds me of Mortiis, black metal superstar who used to make rad dungeon core music..

Second is one that pretty is fantastic, all but for the fact that it appears to be another “found footage” horror movie. Yeah I think we can all agree that the found footage genre is losing it’s luster quite a bit for me at least. However there’s always an exception as this movie V/H/S undeniably looks pretty damn entertaining…so far at least! This is cool also because it’s an anthology ala Creepshow with various directors bringing their flare to the movie. This movie promises thrills, monsters and the supernatural..


It seems this one has quite a huge buzz around it already. This movie is yet another one (like The Ring) that will make you think twice before watching or in this case stealing random vhs tapes from strange locales..

Real Life Scooby Doo!? Saturday Morning Massacre!

I have just read a review for “Saturday Morning Massacre” at Ain’t It Cool and it’s mighty clear they thought it was one of the coolest movies around! Basically the premise is that of a real life Scooby Doo adventure, two male and two female mystery hunters and their dog cruise the countryside in their vintage van in search of things that go bump in the night! Only after solving countless mysteries they come to the conclusion that ghosts and monsters really don’t exist, that is until they venture into one creepy old mansion. There they come face to face with pure evil and their ghost busting skills are put to the ultimate test!

Sounds pretty rad to me and they so far described it as equal parts comedy and true horror. So naturally I hunted down the trailer to see what all the hype is about and found the trailer to be a little bland. What do you think? This movie premieres in LA later this month but otherwise has no release date. I hope it lives up to the Aintitcool hype-meter!

Uninvited: The Ultimate in Domestic House Cat Horror!!

The year was 1988 and it was time to finally bring the family house cat to the forefront of modern TERROR!!!! Yeah watching “Uninvited” for the first time was quite a treat. This is one that will most definitely be making the cut for Bad Movie Night!

The story is simple a shady laboratory is doing some strange experimenting on a cute little orange house cat and have determined that this little fur ball has a weird tumor growing inside of him. However these numb nut doctors accidentally let him escape, it doesn’t take much as the cat strolls out of the lab pretty leisurely while the security team is frantically on it’s trail. This is when we all first get a glimpse of the “univited” early on, this darling little cat has some crazed devil rat cat living inside it’s body. Whenever this cat gets pissed off it crawls out of it’s mouth and gives an ass kicking to anyone who steps in it’s damn way!

Pretty fucking rad huh? Well when you see this little pathetic monster who looks like he’s been swimming in Crisco cooking grease all day you may think otherwise. Every he graces the screen though I guarantee you’ll have a big fat fucking smile on your face. Anyway this cat, who’s constantly meowing without his mouth opening, ends up hopping aboard a yacht owned by a dirty money hungry gangster and a bunch of wise ass hot shot college kids. The year is 1988, that sure is clear in this flick, you get an ultra second rate music score that sounds like it was written by Boy George’s stepbrother’s cousin, impromptu dance parties, skanky 80’s babes who invite strange random dudes on a weekend sea cruise after only meeting them for literally sixty seconds. This sets the stage for an ocean boat ride of sheer idiotic terror!

We’ve got a boatload full of irritating eighties jerk offs and a cute cuddly kitty, who always looks like a completely different cat every time he shows up, with a belly full of evil ready to go ballistic anytime it gets mildly annoyed. Greydon Clark, wrote this movie must have had some serious feline issues as it’s hard to believe this concept was stretched into a full feature length film.

Still when you see the Crisco drenched devil rat cat crawling in and out of the puppet house cat’s mouth again and again it makes this shiny terd of a movie a worthwhile treat. Next time I view it I’ll make sure it’s with a room full of friends and a LOT o’ booze. Don’t miss it as it’s out on a double feature dvd now with another movie called Mutant from 1984 originally called Night Shadows, which I can only hope is as rad as Uninvited….

Ok Please…Stop With the Zombie Comedies Already!

I just watched two upcoming “buzzing” zombie comedy movie trailers and I had to take just a moment of your time to say please stop!! Enough!! Please god…stop with the zombie comedies already!!! Better yet just stop with the whole zombie thing altogether! Ok you know we have all seen Evil Dead 2, Dead Alive, Return of the Living Dead, Shaun of the Dead, Zombieland, American Zombie, Fido, Dance of the Dead, Zombies of Mass Destruction, Doghouse, Zombie Strippers, Zombie Honeymoon, Undead, Blah Blah Blah Blah….Jeez! I kinda just want this whole zombie craze to disappear.

Aside from The Walking Dead Comic and TV series (which I am finally getting slightly tired of) this craze needs to die and stay dead at least for ten years or so. People you’re not going to make a better zombie comedy than Shaun of the Dead so please stop trying! Make some other comedy please, I know how much you liked Dead Alive but you know what? The world doesn’t need another one of your goofy unlikely fanboy hero nerd starring zombie comedies-the market is full, overflowing and more dead than punk rock. I wonder am I the only one? Because even the zombie comedies that look kinda good I just don’t care to sit through anymore!

This one here “Juan of the Dead” which is opening at a theater down the street from me just don’t excite me! Really now “Juan of the Dead”? Uggh….

Yeah it doesn’t really look too bad huh? Too bad I was interested in seeing this movie six years ago!!!

Oh and I was on Ain’t It Cool and they had this one written up called “A Little Bit Zombie” a quirky offbeat zombie comedy with the same stupid characters that you saw eight years ago back when these characters were kinda funny actually…Ok so I will admit the poster is pretty cool, but really folks do we really need to waste more time sitting through more shit like this?

Maybe I am crazy but I don’t care how RAD your zombie comedy is I have seen fifty others that were done in the past five years that are better and then before that fifty more back in the 1980’s! Give it a rest!! 😉

The Number One Easter Themed Horror Flick!

Guess what? Easter Sunday is only a couple days away and I’m sure you’re all wondering what the heck are you going to watch later that night while munching down on all your chocolate Cadbury eggs? Well fear not fellow dorks that’s why I’m here to save your Easter with some useless knowledge!

Let me tell you there aren’t too many Easter themed horror movies out there and with the few there are to choose from it’s crucial you don’t waste your time this year. There are some newer movies like “Peter Rottentail”, “Easter Bunny, Kill Kill!” and “Kottentail” that you could waste your time with. All of them look like they’re filmed by high school students filming using their cell phones. So if that’s what you’re into don’t hesitate. I however will be watching the one and only great Easter themed movie….Critters 2!

The first Critters was pretty great obviously borrowing on the trend that the Gremlins started. Well part 2 is actually pretty damn fun also. Directed by Mick Garris this 1988 classic hits heavy on the Easter theme as the residents of the small town of Grover’s Bend mistake Critter eggs for Easter eggs, use them for the yearly egg hunt and soon they are rolling rampant wrecking havoc on the town! They even attack the Easter Bunny himself! So people make no mistake about it it’s Easter themed horror at it’s best…

The OTHER April Fools Horror Flick!

I supposed everyone today has HUGE plans to watch the awesome “April Fool’s Day” horror flick from 1986 tonight huh?! What? Maybe not? Well speak for yourself folks-I’ll most likely be popping that one in later this evening-but for you out there that do actually give a shit there’s another April Fool’s movie from ’86 called Slaughter High. Never seen it?

Well if you are gonna check this one out today is the perfect day-it was originally set to be called April Fool’s Day here in the USA but it seems the other movie beat them to the punch, though in Japan it’s know by that title as Vestron video released.

Anyway this one is a true gem for any 80’s horror fanatic! It really has it all and is super over the top more so than most slasher films of that era. It’s jam packed with the most asinine group of teens / future adults you’re likely to see in the eighties! So when they do kick the bucket, and boy do they ever in the best ways possible, it’s a helluva good reward to see! It’s also got a disfigured enraged nerd in a jester clown suit running rampant for revenge through the school halls! This movie could be next on my list for bad movie night because it’s one of the best! If you don’t believe me check out the trailer and see for yourself!

Friday the 13th Meets The Karate Kid: 1985’s The New Kids!

This last Friday night I had myself a little movie night by myself, real exciting beginning to a weekend huh? Well that’s the life of a dork sometimes I guess. But honestly it could have been a total bust as I have learned many times as I am constantly taking chances on movies trying to find the hidden gems of yesteryear. Usually I end up with some total crap ass movies-the kind that aren’t even good in a bad way, but this time little did I know I was in for a treat!

Well my double feature started out pretty good with 1994’s Brainscan, starring Edward Furlong. This one turned out to be a pretty fun little movie where Furlong orders a new state of the art interactive “video game” from Fangoria magazine and it ends up subliminally turning him into a vicious killer. It also introduces one of the lameest movie monster villains I’ve seen in quite some time, the amazingly not scary at all “Trickster”.

This jerk off is about on par with The Wishmaster if you get my drift. Still it was a decent movie despite some really shitty 1994 CG.

The next movie however was the real deal, Sean “Friday the 13th” Cunningham’s movie “The New Kids” was a real treat all the way back from 1985.


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