So we all remember Superman’s legendary Fortress of Solitude right? It was an amazing place that could only exist in the movies right? Well news to me there really is a place that’s more breathtaking than Superman’s secret mancave.
Yep down in Donald Trump’s favorite place on earth, Chihuahua, Mexico you’ll find the largest crystal cave in the world with the largest crystals known to human kind. Sounds like a wonderful place huh? You might think this place would be a nice cool place to chill but it turns pout the caves temperatures reach around 140 degrees F, allowing for people to only be able to spend 10 minutes at a time in all of its sweltering beauty! check this shit out~!!
Do you remember some of the movies that really scared you as a kid? Well for me ‘Curtains’ from 1983 was one of those that I remember only seeing one scene from on an episode of ‘At The Movies’ with Siskel and Ebert way back when. In fact this particular scene today is still pretty damn creepy, the whole movie however…..um…well let’s just say you can probably skip this one. When I was a little kid I was super frightened of old vintage baby dolls, I mean they’re legitimately creepy right? Well my mom had a few that she kept sitting in her room all on an old rocking chair and I’ll admit I really was scared shitless of em’! My older brother would often play pranks on me with them, putting them in my bed at night or having one jump around the corner at me at any given moment. It was after we saw this clip form the movie Curtains that really inspired him to take it to the next level of freaking me out. Ahhh..the good ol’ days of being a kid.
Well it just so happens that they decided to put the creepy ass baby doll (who’s really not in the movie much more than a minute) from the movie on the cover so that I can always be reminded of those freaky ass baby dolls of my youth. I’ll admit also this is a great VHS cover and it’s still likely to give me bad dreams. More recently I decided to face my fears and watch the movie for real and found that the movie itself is merely a third rate 80’s snooze of a slasher flick, however it does have that ONE scene that still to this day terrifies me! Of course Youtube has it all and here’s that exact fucking scene!!! Ahhhhh!!!!!
This year has been a good one for hyper crazy thrillers that kick your ass all over the theater- seeing two movies so far that successfully beat the tar out of the audience. The first was the incredible ‘Green Room’ and second being ‘Don’t Breathe’ the new movie from Fede “Evil Dead” Alvarez. Let me tell ya his new movie released this last weekend is a nonstop nail biter! It lives up to the hype. It’s got the grimy goods and then some and you’re not likely to find anyone able to dose off during this crazy ass thriller.
The story is simple, set in the desolate, barren areas of Detroit Michigan, three young burglars plan to rob a down on his luck blind man who’s recently gotten a six figure payment for the death of his daughter. As you might guess things don’t go quite as planned because by now everyone knows blind people are all total badasses. I guess that’s the way it goes down in the movies anyway right? Well this particular blind guy should face off with Daredevil sometime cuz he’d likely give him a serious ass whoopin!
I really don’t want to give away much of the plot as it is full of some interesting twists and turns. What I will say is Alvarez pulls no punches here, much like his ‘Evil Dead’ reboot this one rarely gives you a chance to breathe, only this one to it’s advantage has a much more likable cast. It’s a dark and gritty tale that really excels because of it’s completely convincing actors and incredible set piece. Yeah, the blind man’s old decaying home is a perplexing dark labyrinth of nooks and crannies with plenty of surprises tucked away. You’ll never feel more frustrated about trying find an exit out as this one unfolds. This movie’s got one helluva “final girl” too played by Jane Levy, she’s definitely got the chops!
The “villain” is played with amazing ferocity by Stephen Lang who’s hulking presence gives him an almost superhuman quality. It’s strange too how this movie turns the concept of facing off with a blind person into an incredibly menacing experience. You’d think the opposite but here the fact that he IS blind is one of the most terrifying things about the whole experience. Never has sneaking around been more nerve wracking! This is easily one of the most intense movie theater experiences I’ve had in quite some time.
I highly recommend this one for people who like being on the very edge of their seats with a racing heart for 90 minutes. For those who can’t hack it this one definitely won’t give you the warm fuzzies. The movie isn’t really full of crazy gore or anything like that but it’s a tightly packed mega tense cat and mouse game unlike anything you’ve probably seen before. It’s really one giant epic battle. I’d also like to ad that this ones likely going to go down in history for making you never look at turkey baster the same. That I promise – check this out if you’re feeling like a challenge!
Ok, so my title above is a bit misleading because as of right now there’s not currently rumors about Jonathan Ke Quan returning to the role of “Short Round” for the upcoming Indiana Jones Part 5. BUT let’s start that rumor here because maybe it will catch fire on the web and actually happen!
So this whole idea really began the other evening when I saw the amazing 1991 movie ‘Breathing Fire’ starring Ke Quan as a teenage ass kicking kung fu machine. If you haven’t seen this movie and love his roles in Indiana Jones and Goonies you best check this one out asap. Seriously. Movies rarely reach level of pure fun and some great over the top kung fu! He even faces off against the legendary Bolo Yueng and it’s just jam packed with amazingly awesome & hilarious retro action cheeze. Seek this one out asap. The full movie can be found on Youtube.com!
However I digress, Ke Quan’s acting career ended in 2002 with the Hong Kong sci fi feature film “Second Time Around” so he’s not exactly been focused on acting lately. As you can tell from the previous Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull Speilberg is heavily focused on nostalgia from the previous films as one of the key moments is the return of Marion Ravenwood. So in this next installment how amazing would it be to have Indy once again team up with his buddy Short Round on another adventure?
During filming ‘Temple Of Doom’, Quan studied Tae Kwon Do under film choreographer Phillip Tan. Something about the discipline of martial arts really appealed to him, so he began rigorously studying many different techniques. Once his acting career had become more quiet, Quan became an assistant fight choreographer to Hong Kong legend Corey Yeun on movies like ‘X-Men’ and Jet Li vehicle ‘The One’. Ke Quan now is 45 years old, has kept himself in great shape and could likely bring his seasoned martial arts exploits into the next Indy flick with pure adoration from longtime fans. He’s even been asked more recently from fans about appearing in part five answering with an enthusiastic “I don’t know!”. From what I understand he’s also down for a trip down nostalgia lane for the forever talked about Goonies sequel. So this here is all a real possibility considering Indiana Jones part 5 is indeed happening for sure.
I’ve got high hopes for the next Indy movie, I enjoyed the last one but I’ll agree it’s far from perfect and nowhere near as classic as the first three. Still this next movie is likely Harrison Ford’s last as the character so Speilberg will get one last shot to right the wrongs of the last movie. Ditch the ridiculous CG you promised you weren’t going to use and give us something that truly feels like a classic Indy movie and please leave Shia Labeouf’s Mutt Willaims at home. Let’s feel the nostalgia and let’s see Jones & Short Round team up once again, I know that fans would flip their shit if this was worked into the movie and it’d make sense that a fully able, older Short Round could help Indiana Jones kick some butt this time as our aging main character likely needs all the help he can get this time around. What do you think? Would you like to see Johnny Ke Quan return? If so share this post and let’s make it happen!
Bernie Wrightson is the king of the macabre and Swamp Thing was the perfect comic book for him to display his talent of drawing all things that go bump in the night. If you have a monster that needs drawing Bernie is most definitely your man for the job! Here’s an incredible full cover featuring the Swamp Thing going head on with some dark creatures of the night way back in 1977. This is really a perfect example of why Bernie is one of the greatest comic book illustrators ever.
Hopefully cinematic DC will take notes here when they begin ‘Dark Universe” with Doug Liman attached to direct. While most of the details are being kept under wraps, the plot revolves around a darker Justice League team that consists of John Constantine, Swamp Thing, Deadman, Zatanna and Etrigan the Demon. Hopefully DC won’t mess this up too. I won’t hold my breath but I’ve got to say I’m terribly disappointed that Guillermo del Toro is no longer attached to direct. But I mean really, how bad could they mess it up?! Hmmm…..
I just saw the trailer for the super duper indie horror movie “Night of Something Strange” which is a total throwback to gory horror of the 1980’s. From the trailer, this one looks a cut above most of the other indie throwback style flicks being churned out on a shoe string budget. It follows a monstrous STD as it spreads amidst five teenage friends headed off on Spring Break vacation. The trailer looks like a ton of gory fun and of course it doesn’t hurt to have an awesome poster to accompany your movie.
This one will likely make you think twice before sitting on that toilet seat in the restroom on your next road trip. It appears this one is making the horror festival rounds at the moment. If you’re in the Pennsylvania area you can check it out at the Indie Horror Drive In Fest September 16th in Vandergrift. How fun does that sound? I’m all in for cool indie horror films that actually look like they truly give a shit about giving us something memorable. This one looks like a winner so far expect this one to be hitting the VOD circuit soon as well.
I checked out the ‘The Mind’s Eye’ the latest feature film from up and coming horror director Joe Begos last night and it was well worth the seven bucks spent on Googleplay for the rental. As I mentioned in a recent post it’s been described as the perfect sequel to Cronenberg’s classic “Scanners”. I’d say that’s a great description of what you’re in store for with The Mind’s Eye. The movie set in 1990 certainly feels like it was indeed made back then and set in the same Scanners universe. It’s a mean, gritty little movie that’s packed with exploding heads and gore a plenty. There’s no comedy mixed in either which is nice when a director is taking some chances delivering a no B.S. action movie on a low budget.
It follows two people on the run from a sinister government organization who’re hellbent on weaponizing the their telekinetic powers. The movie’s over the top villain, a normal man who’s figured out how to harvest their powers for his own however is hot on their trail along with a gang of goons ready to be torn to pieces. It’s a simple plot and maybe not the most original concept as the movie clearly borrows from ‘Firestarter’ & Brian De Palma’s ‘The Fury’ but you know what? That’s totally ok-because ‘Stranger Things’ was amazing and really a just a full on rip off of similar movies as well. We’ve also got Graham Skipper back in the lead who previously starred in Bego’s first flick ‘Almost Human’ along with Larry Fessenden in the role of his father. I never tire of seeing Larry show up in my horror movies, he’s a great addition to this one as well though his role is quite brief.
The cool thing about this movie is that it really does feel like it’s been plucked from the late 80’s. Begos uses his effects wisely and nothing that he does feels like it would have appeared in a movie after 1990. You won’t get any CG here everything is done by way of practical effects making everything feel way more organic and real world. While not being a better movie than Scanners (But better than it’s many sequels) it certainly feels like a lost sci-fi/horror movie from the era, one that you might be hunting down today for a rare vhs copy of.
As cool as all this is there are points in the movie where you’re hoping for the psycho-kinetic battles to go a bit farther than they did. Begos doesn’t give you much new to chew on here and I was hoping a few times for things to get a bit more batshit crazy towards the end. Perhaps if Begos was given a bigger budget he’d have been able to expand on the genre rather than keep it evenly at bay. Either way if you come in it not expecting anything more than a cool ass movie that feel like it was made back in 1990 you won’t be disappointed. I’ve a feeling we’ll be seeing Joe Begos rise to the top of the horror genre in the next few years, I’ll definitely be there again for his next movie.
Last night I saw one of the best movies of 2016, Hunt for the Wilderpeople is comic genius. Let’s not waste anymore time this summer talking about big bloated comedies like the new Ghostbusters. Hunt for the Wilderpeople not only delivers the laughs but also has a huge heart. You’d really expect nothing less to from Taika Waititi who’s brought us incredible comedies like Flight of the Conchords and What We Do in Shadows. Starring one of personal faves Sam Neil who brilliantly costars along side equally brilliant new comer Julian Dennison who’s absolutely gut-busting in his role of a young troubled preteen who’s sent off to the wilderness of New Zealand to live with his new foster parents.
From this point on the movie is jam packed with comic brilliance as some unfortunate events send him and his new “uncle” (Sam Neil) on an incredible journey into the Wilderness. The locales of their adventures are completely stunning as well and there’ never a dull moment between the two of them as they play off each other in so many ways.
It’s really been a while since I’ve seen a movie as enjoyable as this in so many ways. Now let me also say the movie is not all a warm snuggly package. It also delivers it’s fair share of tears, thrills as well as some surprisingly exciting action sequences. There’s a great sequence involving a giant wild boar that’s pretty amazing as well. Julian Dennison is fully on top of his game here as the heavy set wannabe self proclaimed “gangsta” kid who does pretty much anything he wants when ever he wants he’s paired up with the gruff and tumble Sam Neil, who plays a crafty backwoods survivalist who becomes hell bent on disappearing into the woods.
Neil and Dennison though are not the only ones who bring the laughs, the rest of the cast as well, the actual “hunters” are a riot as well. A truly well rounded cast of comedians. We’ve got a great story of healing and adventure set in the breathtaking deep woods of New Zealand that will leave you smiling for days after viewing. Don’t miss this awesome movie if you get the chance to see it on the big screen you won’t be disappointed. Easily one of the best comedies & movies of the year so far…
Here’s a favorite of mine that fully succeeds in the creepy concept of “less is more” for one hell of a scary ass movie cover! Yeah “It’s Alive” is a pretty cool ass little monster movie all the way back from 1974. The cover here has always stuck with me as we get the creepiest baby crib scene of all time. This crib merely features the clawed hand of the Davis baby, that pesky little infant creature who no matter how much killing it does is still fully loved by his parents ’til the end. The movie itself delivers the chills and the Davis Baby is brought to life in an incredibly realistic way via some wicked practical effects, especially being that it was 1974 it’s pretty dang impressive. A truly awesome & effective cover that still gives me the creeps today….
Here’s something to check out this weekend, a brand new release if you’re craving something on the retro side of science fiction horror. The Mind’s Eye is the second movie from Joe Begos and it looks like another winner. I dug his first movie “Almost Human” which was neat little alien flick that also had that retro 80’s vibe to it part Invasion of the Body Snatchers and part Fire in the Sky. Now we’ve got his undenialble homage to Cronenberg.
Borrowing a more than it’s fair share of Scanners, boasting a lot of exploding heads and psychic warfare this movie sounds like a damn good time for a Saturday night. Add to all that another awesome movie poster (Almost Human had a great one too) and some Larry Fessenden to the cast – This one is on the top of my list of new Horror and was just released yesterday for a limited theatrical run and VOD!
Universal Dork 