Category: Movies
Even More Universal Dork Halloween Horror Picks! The Tall Man!
So this year’s list of horror movies to check out at the theater seems pretty weak ass to me. So far we have has V/H/S which got incredibly mixed reviews, Sinister (who former Universal Dork contributor The One From Beyond warned me was a complete pile of dog shit) and Paranormal Activity 4 which is jammed packed with even MORE doors slowly opening! So what the fuck is a horror hound supposed to do in this day and age of shitty Hollywood Horror? Well I just recently viewed Pascal Laugier’s “The Tall Man” and really enjoyed the hell out of it!
This movie probably should have seen a wide release especially with Jessica Biel as the movies’ main starpower. Now if you’ve seen Laugier’s previous movie Martyrs then you know this guy is a real talent. That movie caused quite a stir and left me with images that to this day are hard to erase from my mind. So I would never really recommend Martyrs to anyone because it’s just too much of a challenge to view. However I am glad I saw it and even though The Tall Man is a much much different type of horror film I can see strong similarities in how the stories unfold in both.
The plot is simple in The Tall Man, it follows a mother (Biel) who’s a doctor in small troubled town suffering from economic collapse. There many children have since gone missing and many locals believe it to be the work of an evil supernatural being called The Tall Man. It’s not long before our main character comes face to face with the legendary stranger as he attempts to steal her son. Now honestly that’s all I should really tell you about the plot, anything more would spoil this cool little film that has a LOT to say in the end.
You will be scratching your head mid way through confused as hell I promise but in the end it will all make sense. If you have seen Martyrs you know what I mean. The movie has many elements to it and to simply call it a horror movie would be a crime. However I think this was an exciting watch and one of the better new horror movies I’ve seen in quite some time. For those of you who’ve seen Martyrs don’t worry this one won’t leave you quite as scarred just more intrigued than anything else…
Universal Dork’s Halloween Movie Picks: Creepy Ass Dolls!
Hey I am back again with another Halloween horror movie pick from the past! One of my personal favorite topics of horror flicks are that of the creepy doll! Yeah I know we all first think of Child’s Play which is easily one of if not the best creepy doll movie. However there are a good number of others that are pretty swell as well like Dolly Dearest from 1991 which is basically a female version of Child’s Play and of course The Puppetmaster series is also fairly decent.
But one of my personal faves is “Dolls” from 1986 from horror legend Stuart Gordon and of course the wonderfully cheesy Charles Band. This short and sweet little creepy horror classic is essentially a dark fairy tale jammed to the brim with freaky living dolls.
It follows a group of travelers as they take refuge from a strom in a strange mansion in the countryside owned by a far too friendly elderly couple. However the group consists some people that are far from friendly, two rowdy British punkers and a greedy married couple along with their little girl and the young at heart traveling salesman. It seems that when the lights go out for the night the dolls emerge to teach the naughty adults some lessons.
The whole movie is just a whole lot of fun all together. A simple plot can sometimes make for the best type of film and Gordon does a great job with presenting us with a whimsical, dark & atmospheric setting. Dolls is also filled with some fun 80’s fx via puppetry, animatronics and some cool stop motion.
So this Halloween check this out, it’s a great little horror flick that we will all learn a valuable lesson from, I know I’ll be popping this into my dvd player again this Halloween!
Recent “Evil Dead” Leaked Trailer Mania: Did it Deliver?
So like everyone else out there who’s a fan of horror, I recently watched the bootleg version of the new Evil Dead remake leaked trailer. It seems it’s so far got a lot of great reactions. If you haven’t seen it you should check it out. So far it looks pretty decent. It promises to be everything fans of the movie would hope for in a remake. This was promised by Bruce Campbell himself. I don’t doubt it will be entertaining while highly uncalled for in the same breath. To me it’s just not that exciting, even with an ultra shocking, super gory trailer and yeah even with Bruce himself getting behind it. I really don’t have to say it again, but I personally would rather have the energy someone puts into a movie like this be spent on something new and fresh.
I like most fans of the franchise would rather have one last adventure with Bruce reprising his role as Ash. And please people, Bruce is NOT too old to play Ash. His age would only make it that much more entertaining and comedic. For some reason though it’s been talked of for years it never happens. Instead we get something like “Drag Me to Hell” from Raimi. A near perfect horror romp minus the horrible CG which ends up spoiling the movie for true splatter fans. So maybe it’s best Raimi stays away from Evil Dead 4, perhaps he and Bruce know it’d end up lackluster?
Either way I will end up checking out this new Evil Dead movie. It looks creepy as hell, gory, and from what I can deduct thus far not too heavily reliant on CG. I will admit though honestly when it comes to Evil Dead for me I am much more of a Part 2 & Army of Darkness kind of guy. So letting this remake pass with out too much bitching is not that incredibly hard. However once they move into the casting a “new” Ash territory there may be some problems. But given the right director in this day and age can really change it all. Besides I would have never believed in a million years I would have been ok with new people playing Captain Kirk and Spock. How they pulled that one off still baffles me…what do you think?
Oh and I couldn’t find a good link to the leaked trailer so this will have to do!
Universal Dork’s Halloween Horror Picks #2! Cronenberg’s BEST!
People just love Cronenberg! However many people who love him today for movies like Eastern Promises & A History of Violence have long forgotten his amazing horror films like The Fly and his best in my opinion “The Brood”. If you have never seen this incredibly creepy movie from 1979 you are missing out big time. It’s also best that you know as little as possible about the plot as it will confuse you right up until the truly shocking finale. It’s been described as a horror version of Kramer vs. Kramer and I’d have to say that’s a neat way to look at this one.
It’s follows the story of a man who’s wife is receiving a strange theatrical therapy to help her with mental and emotional problems she’s experiencing. However when the husband finds bruises and cuts on their daughter he begins to suspect his mentally imbalanced wife may be to blame.
To make matters worse a brood of horrifying mutant children begin creeping around inside their house and soon people end up dead. This one is a Cronenberg masterpeice that should not be missed or seen again this Halloween! A true horror classic!!
It’s October & Universal Dork’s Horror Movie Picks Start Today!
Yay it’s October and we all know what that means- Halloween is on the way! So naturally everybody is going bananas over watching some good Horror movies! So here at Universal Dork I am going to give you a bunch of horror movies this month that you need to check out. Yeah Yeah we all love Child’s Play, Halloween, Nightmare on Elm Street, Paranormal Activity ect. ect. but let’s say you’re a bit tired of the normal “classics”. Well fear no more people I’ve got a list of some movies you may want to watch instead to get the adrenaline pumpin! So today’s movie is a real nice simple little horror gem from 2007 that many people have missed out on.
“End of the Line” is a cool ass movie that will make you fear crazy ass religious fanatics more than ol’ Michael Meyers or Freddy!
It follows a group of people who end up stuck in a subway shortly after a religious takeover is launched upon the “sinners” of the world by a creepy Christian Tel-evangelist.
This unique Canadian movie is jam packed with some genuinely frightening moments that will surely make you jump from your seat. I loved the plot of this one as it brings to light just how creepy organized religious people can be. If your looking for something original this Halloween season I recommend this great little indie film to kick off the month!
Fievre: Mixing Lucid Dreams & Horror!
I have always been intrigued with lucid dreaming as I have myself had the pleasure of having them many times in my life thus far. If you don’t know what lucid dreaming is then let me explain simply. It’s when while dreaming something suddenly triggers an awareness that you are inside a dream. Usually if you can avoid waking by the sensation you can actively manipulate the surroundings, situations & people you encounter. It also many times grants the dreamer super powers like flying ect. I have to say once you have a lucid dream you’ll never quite be the same.
Well this brings me to a new upcoming horror film I am excited about, Romain Basset’s “Fievre” or Fever as it will be called here in the US. Much of this movie supposedly takes place in the surreal dreamworld and from what have heard so far doesn’t skimp on gore or cool creature effects. There’s a great piece on it here at Rue Morgue that’s pretty awesome. The synopsis sounds pretty interesting:
“Jessica has never dreamed in her life but has had regular nightmares, the meaning of which escaped her. This peculiarity has led her to conduct studies specializing in the psychophysiology of dreams and to follow a therapy with Sean, her mentor and boyfriend, to try and understand the origins of her nightmares Continue reading
The Wolverine: First Official Movie Pic Proves Nothing!
Today this new first official picture from “The Wolverine”, Marvel’s second attempt at a solo Wolverine movie after the god awful X-men Origins: Wolverine has finally arrived. Many are saying that from this pic alone that the franchise is finally headed in the right direction. I say this new picture don’t prove JACK SHIT! To me all this picture proves is that Jackman has been lifting weights, something required um if you’re gonna play Wolverine in a god damn movie!! It also shows that he’s got a lot of veins on his arms and that he maybe just walked out of a barber shop! This picture could have been from the last movie for cryin’ out loud! I bet this movie ends up a slick rubbery cg schlock fest. I don’t think Hollywood is capable anymore of making a “real” Wolverine movie. I think Jackman’s day is done as the character. I was personally hoping for a reboot! Can you believe that? Me hoping for a reboot?
Oh yeah one last thing Hollywood would you please give Wolverine his crazy fucked up hair? This pic looks like Hugh Jackman in a GQ photo shoot with claws rather than Wolverine with his claws unsheathed…until I see a trailer I’m gonna be a dick about this one..ok done ranting…
Hypothermia: Best Movie Poster Of 2012!
I am a sucker for a good creature feature and right now I have high hopes for Hypothermia! This movie will be released Oct 2nd on DVD which is right around the corner here. It seems there’s a shortage of good monster flicks these days so I am hoping this one will deliver. So far I like the plot, which is nice and simple. It follows a group of ice fishers in Maine who aren’t catching anything in their local lake. They do a little research and find out that there are no fish inhabiting the lake at all….just a weird monster beneath the ice!
So far from the still via Dreadcentral.com it looks like a weird humanoid lamprey. Hopefully the movie isn’t jam packed with shitty cg. One thing it definately has going for it though is it’s movie poster! Talk about a throwback to 80’s VHS!!
From ROBOCOP to ROBOCRAP?!
Hey isn’t it awesome we finally have gotten a good look at the new Robocop costume for the upcoming remake?! You’d think so huh? However this seems quite the contrary with this new pic that surfaced today. It feels like I just saw this new incarnation of the character recently though…like in The Dark Knight Rises!!!
It’s not Robocop its fucking BATMAN!!! Seriously folks this is the best they could do for Robocop in 2012?! I think they forgot…um…he’s supposed to be a damn ROBOT! My verdict is a big thumbs down thus far! I don’t know about you all but I will gladly take my 80’s Robocop over this loser any day! UGGGGH Hollywood remakes….
Yo “Mama” Never Looked So Scary!
I posted a little short film a couple weeks ago called “Mama” “three minutes of what the hell is going on?” freaky ass shit! Well the short clip received so much positive feedback that director Andy Muschietti got the go ahead to make the idea into a full on feature film.
Telling the story of two little girls who lived “alone” in the woods for five years after their parents passed away. Luckily they are finally rescued, however it seems “Mama” has also come with them to their new suburban home. Check out the trailer, it’s no wonder why Del Toro got his name all over this one like the short film it looks freaky as all get out! This one will be released January 2013…
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