Tagged: practical effects
J.R. Bookwalter Returns With Slimy Pandemic Fueled Horror: SIDE EFFECTS MAY VARY!
After recently reviewing J.R. Bookwalter’s awesome 90s horror/mutant action hybrid film ‘OZONE‘ I was quite excited to dig into more of his filmography! Already being a big fan of ‘THE DEAD NEXT DOOR‘ and recently purchasing (gonna check it soon!) ‘ROBOT NINJA‘ I was super curious just what this guy has been up to these days, if anything at all? Well I was quite happy to find out that he’s indeed been quite busy working hard a brand new film that he’s currently taking on the road for a tour of some incredible independent theaters across the country. J.R. however has not made a new movie in over 20 years, so obviously this new feature horror film called ‘SIDE EFFECTS MAY VARY‘ he’s recently completed called has really peaked my interest. I’m hoping for some old school horror and I think I’m going to get just that!
Judging from the trailer that just recently dropped it looks to be more of everything that I’ve originally loved from his blood soaked, fx driven earlier films. This appears to be not only a gruesome practical effects extravaganza but also like George Romero’s great films a social commentary on our current state of recent affairs across the globe. It takes place during a pandemic and it looks like our main character here has just received some sort of vaccination that to his surprise, doesn’t quite do what it claimed to & gives him some pretty gory side effects to deal with. Having just gone through the pandemic (some still claim is raging on) one thing is clear- we had a major debate going on around the world about just how safe and effective the covid 19 vaccine actually was.
I’d say there’s definitely a solid debate to be had about it all now that the smoke’s more or less cleared-as some people reported some intense side effects, which makes this one’s plot quite intriguing and for some people maybe even quite triggering. That I suppose remains to be seen, whatever the case I think the topic is prime for a horror flick!
One thing was certain at least in the real world, people were polarized on the topic and quickly turned on each other. We witnessed some unnerving behavior and many now even distrust the Government and big pharma even more than pre-pandemic. Trump’s ‘Operation Warp Speed’ teamed with massive pharma companies and immediately a debate raged about the safety of what some deemed a rushed experimental medical intervention. Whatever you might think we can all agree, it was a real shit show to say the least, kinda like this image below…
The world was turned upside down for several years by the pandemic AND the extreme polarization of people in fear of the virus and others of the vaccine. Here Bookwalter seems to be putting all of this behavior under a microscope in a slightly grotesque but comical way for an examination, delivering a completely over the top looking body altering horror film. Sign me up!
I’m totally curious to check this out and see exactly what his take on the whole situation is here, as he’s mentioned before that he’s quite distrusting of the Government in general and after everything we’ve been through-can you really blame him?! Oh yeah on a different note it also stars scream queen Brinke Stevens pictured below.
First and foremost though he’s stated that people should really just have fun with this film, as it’s ultimately really all about the gruesome spectacle of it all. I’m not sure if it brings to the table any political sentiments, I’ve heard it shows some of the absurdism from both sides of the isle as well as the media. So without further ado, if you’re a fan of this his past work and might not have been aware that he’s just recently completed a brand new flick, check out this wildly gory trailer. Hopefully ‘Side Effects May Vary’ is coming to town here in Portland! I say bring it on-stir the pot and let’s see what you got!
Also here’s a really cool interview he just did on Cereal at Midnight that goes deep into his past and covers why he’s come back to deliver the gory goods yet another time:
Move Review: Mutants Do “Killer” Drugs in 1993’s SOV Action Splatter Jam – ‘OZONE’!
If you’ve ever seen 1989’s Sam Raimi produced cult zombie indie gem ‘The Dead Next Door’ then you can bet J.R. Bookwalter’s 1993 mutant mash up OZONE is bound to quench your low budget horror thirst!
I’m not really that “late to the party” having seen ‘The Dead Next Door‘ for the first time ala my Netflix DVD red mail envelope subscription many years ago. However I’m a newbie when it comes to anything else he did after that-and I’m pretty excited about it. Ozone is his 4th film that I got rently on dvd along with his 1989 film ROBOT NINJA that I’m super psyched to check out especially now. Ozone is a shot on video horror/action hybrid that’s full of impressive gore and wild drug fueled mutants!
This ambitious low budget mash up set in (Akron, Ohio) features a cop named Eddie Boone who loses his partner in a raid on a mysterious drug den. However these pesky addicts are on an intense mind & body altering drug called ‘ozone’ and they’re ready to kill anyone who steps into their dirty lair. Unfortunately our trusty protagonist here while infiltrating this place is stabbed with a full syringe of this repulsive substance by one of the mutants.
It turns his life into a living nightmare, not only mourning for the loss of his good friend but also the constant paranoia that this drug that’s now a pumping’ through his body will turn him into some sort of monster maniac.
It leads Eddie down to path into the ultra seedy urban underworld with a grim discovery unlike anything he could ever imagine. It also leads him into several ridiculous situations that are a pure joy to watch unfold on the screen. One of which involves him going into a bizarre dive bar for a couple drinks to cool down, where nearly every patron of the joint appears completely either in some sort of trance or just simply ridiculously bored beyond belief. I’m still not sure what the fuck is up with these duds. Never underestimate a gang of bored ass bar dwellers I guess (?), as they soon all gang up & attack, dragging him down into the basement and make him participate in a weird sort of “gladiator” showdown! That shit came out of NOWHERE.
Those are the type of “plot lines” that find their way into Eddies path here and that’s what makes this movie so much damn fun. It’s a great mix of horror, practical gore and action full of a big dose of gunfighting. It’s quite an ambitious film for a SOV venture and feels like it’s budget is MUCH more than I’d ever imagine. Director J R. Bookwalter definitely knows how to make a LOT with just a little. The effects on display are pretty awesome too and not for the faint of heart as you get bulging sloppy bursting boils, hacked off limbs, disgusting body morphing- but that’s not all the mutant monster drug lord is a glorious surprise as well, who almost appears as some sort of “Jabba the Hut” type puppet creature.
Another thing worth noting here: the acting is actually pretty decent and the main character Eddie Boone played by James Black delivers a pretty heavy dose of charisma a chair is rolled, a tough feat to sometimes pull off in shot on video films like this. So If you’re a big fan of schlocky low budget off the wall cinema, then ‘Ozone’ is a real treat and it’s clear that J.R. Bookwalter is a regional gem that needs to be appreciated and discovered by so many more fans of SOV cult cinema! Get jacked up on some Ozone I say!
Monster Puppets, Magic & Mystery: ONYX The FORTUITOUS & The TALISMAN of SOULS
I went into ‘ONYX The FORTUITOUS & The TALISMAN of SOULS’ not knowing much of what to expect except that it apparently had Barbara Crampton and Jeffrey Combs in it, which I assumed would likely be small cameos. However this new horror comedy was a breath of fresh air and though it did only feature Crampton in a cameo, Combs was a major player here as the movie’s sinister villain. Better yet the film’s jam packed with some really sharp comedy, mainly from the film’s writer, director, editor and star of the film Andrew Bowser who plays the severely socially awkward character Marcus (but he prefers to be called Onyx the Fortuitous). Marcus lives with his mom, works at a fast-food burger joint and gets zero respect from anyone.
He’s quite a strange character who’s brand of humor is likely to divide audiences-luckily I thought he was pretty entertaining but I can see how he could be a bit too much for certain people to endure. Almost like fast talking “Napoleon Dynamite” whose mannerisms sorta have to be seen to be fully embraced. Apparently Andrew Bowser has been doing the character on Youtube for a while now and this is his feature film debut.
Anyway Marcus’ life has reached an all time low when it’s apparent he’s got no real friends or meaningful relationships that is until he wins a contest to a weekend stay at a creepy mansion hosted by his favorite online Satanic occult personality “Bartok the Great” and his sexy assistant Farrah. There he meets a cast off oddball characters who’ve also won this odd vacation opportunity. However they get much more than they bargained for when they realize all is not as it seems and there’s a much more sinister plan afoot that catapults them into bizarre mystery leaving them trapped inside the stronghold. The best thing about this weird little horror comedy are the uniquely ridiculous characters we follow. As Marcus, who convinces the rest of the crew to call him “Onyx” isn’t strange enough he’s joined by a solid supporting cast.
Jeffrey Combs delivers the goods here too, he’s not phoning it in and we all know when he’s on top of his game he’s a cinematic genius to behold. The film’s cast really pushes this one along at a brisk pace with plenty of heart and intrigue-but there’s more for old school horror fans. The special fx here also take center stage with some truly impressive creatures that are brought to life via some incredible puppetry and animatronics. This one would make even Jim Henson’s Creature Shop a bit jealous I think. Minimal CGI here is greatly appreciated and it shows just how special a production can feel when filled with creations that are actually on set.
That all being said I wish that they’d have gotten a bit more screen time, most of the stunning puppetry is contained to one key sequence. The trailer does make it look a little more fully loaded with monsters, still maybe less is more in this case and the movie might’ve benefitted more from the way it’s characters, at the end of the day, shine more than any crazy gore or bloodthirsty creatures. This one’s comedy which I think is pretty razor sharp for the most parts (aside from maybe getting a little too cutesy at the finale) is really the main attraction. But that doesn’t mean the film doesn’t look great-it’s got the spooky atmosphere nailed down but could’ve utilized the set pieces a bit more to really push the adventure to the next level. All in all though this one was a real delight and a bonafide vanity project from Andrew Bowser that’s bound to end up a modern day cult classic.
It’s got the FX, the humor, colorful characters, mystery, totally excellent puppet monsters and just the right amount of heart to give it some emotional weight. Check this one out if you’re looking for something a bit different-hopefully you’ll find Andrew’s character “Onyx” as hilarious as I did-that being said-you’ve been WARNED!!
MOVIE MELT Podcast Goes Back to Hong Kong for the Wild Sexy 90s Horror of the ‘WIZARD’S CURSE’!!
Movie Melt is back and this time I’ve chosen the movie showcased on the latest episode, 1992’s WIZARD’S CURSE! This totally bonkers horror, sex comedy, martial arts hybrid flick is one of my absolute favorites & features the legendary late great ass kickin’ monster hunter Lam Ching Ying aka “Mr. Vampire” in perhaps his most over the top adventure of his filmography. You might have read my review on this one right here on U-dork a few years back. Well it was time to try and get this film a bigger following in the USA and Movie Melt is the BEST spot to make my case for this oddity.
A pair of “on the run” criminal lovers rumored to be practitioners of dark magic are hunted down by local police lead by a taoist demon hunter (Lam Ching Ying). Using his own unique supernatural abilities he aids the cops in killing them but alas, a local crazy cult leader with a creepy ass sewer dungeon lair steals their corpses, resurrects them into one shared physical body, granting them superhuman powers, a wild sex drive & leaving them thirsting for human brains. Creating the ultimate monster-the “TERRIFIC VAMPIRE”. Oh and by the way the Terrific Vampire has a glowing 20 foot long penis that is uses to bludgeon people to death-it’s quite a sight! Check this shit out:
Anyway we go deep into the film’s bizarre plot point, fx, the director and also talk about cool films you just might wanna check out. Oh of course we feature a “battle of the bands” segment that will turn your brain into Swiss cheese too!! Here’s a film that the blu ray companies like Vinegar Syndrome need to take note of-The Wizard’s Curse is unlike anything you’ve likely seen before. CHECK OUT THE MAYHEM RIGHT HERE!!!
Oh and here’s full film for moment up on Youtube it far to sassy to be shown here on Universal Dork as you can see:
Forgotten Halloween Gems: The Gory SOV Teen Horrors of 1991’s ‘SOUL OF THE DEMON’!!
Halloween is JUST around the corner and I’ve been on the move hunting down the coolest, forgotten, under-seen Halloween themed horror films. I highly recommended 1991’s ‘SOUL OF THE DEMON’ a largely unknown shot on video film needs a bigger cult following as it’s packed with some really fun characters and practical fx as well as taking place on Halloween night!
If you’re familiar with SOV films you likely know that many of them can be a bit of an intentional slow burn, but while ‘Soul of the Demon’ doesn’t have the budget of many of the more popular indie horror of the era it’s really got all the right moves, at least for me! At a lean runtime under 80 minutes you can’t really go wrong giving this a whirl.
It’s got a great set up, two teens skipping school head off on their BMX bikes to secluded pond and find a strange cursed demonic artifact. They take it home on Halloween night and it becomes the source of evil-possessing far too curious teenager and spoiling a raunchy Halloween get-together at a creepy abandoned house with a spree of satanic bloodshed.
There’s also a ridiculous teen basketball game montage, a BMX bike montage, plenty of sexy bonehead humor and some cool special effects you might not expect for a shot on video film from of the era. Once the horny teens take a break from being sex maniacs and decide to conduct a serious seance, things quickly escalate into a full blown horror buffet of gooey gore.
It’s a film that was clearly not just thrown together carelessly and I’m a bit surprised it’s remains so far under everyone’s radar for a Halloween themed horror film. The director, Charles T. Lang, got all the bang for his buck and his style of filming is pretty ambitious for being shot on video. He’s got plenty of cool camera angles and tricks up his sleeve here that give it a much more cinematic feel than most SOV flicks.
There’s a lot of fun to had here, with a bit of a “Night of the Demons” vibe here going on and our teen characters are pretty hilarious as well sporting some pretty great over the top teen dialogue, impressive mullets, Misfits tees and 80s style party favors to enjoy. Sure like most SOV films it might take a little long for the real action to really get going, but once it does there’s some great gore and make up fx on display.
There’s a pretty impressive finale crafted as well with some excellent animated special fx you almost never see in a movie shot on tape. My one complaint is as much as the kids talk about it being Halloween there’s pretty much no Halloween decor anywhere in sight.
I really do like the seasonal horror films to at least try to sell the holiday on film and unless I missed something I think it really could’ve used a boost in that aspect. Regardless, it’s a pretty great forgotten demonic possession Halloween film that rightly deserves much more attention-I found it on a cheap-o six film dvd package for under ten bucks on Ebay.
So to me that means it’s really ripe for the ripe for the picking for any of these blu-ray labels out there looking for their next release next Halloween. It probably wouldn’t cost a fortune to get the rights to put it out. ‘Soul of the Demon’ is sure to be a real treat for cult horror fanatics. It gets the job done with its own unique blend of SOV practical monster, gore and even animated fx that make this a killer standout among the niche genre.
The director’s got one other film out there listed on Letterbox I’ll need to check out-but in the meantime if you’re looking for something much more obscure this year to check out for Halloween I highly recommend ‘Soul of the Demon’ if you’re a fan of the SOV genre, I think this is one of the best it has to offer!! And as it’s short notice the whole damn thing is up on YouTube for the moment at least!
Afraid of CGI Grey Aliens? If So ‘NO ONE WILL SAVE YOU’ Delivers the GOODS!
HULU finally brings me a grey alien home invasion horror film I’ve asking for-‘No One Will Save You’ delivers a simple premise with some fairly well executed drama but also manages to take the terrifying silent “greys” of movies like ‘Communion’ & ‘Fire in the Sky’ and turns them into loud rubbery CGI lunatics. Yeah these modern UFO films or all films in general now tbh) just can’t resist going digital and at times these creatures end up feeling more “Roger Rabbit” than ‘Close Encounters of the Third Kind’. I’ve been saying it for years someone should make a home invasion film with “the greys”, I’d always found them quite terrifying and it’d be really a unique premise to see them pursue a human in a secluded home.
Well this movie grants me my wish but makes a mistake, one that just can’t be avoided today it seems-heavy reliance on shoddy looking CGI fx. Last year we saw a practical effects alien attack film in ‘Kids vs Aliens’, which used practical fx but dropped the ball in the approach, like this, showing the aliens far too much in plain sight. Maybe I’m the only one here, but to me being chased down by CGI creatures just doesn’t strike terror in my heart. I need to feel that there is a real threat there onscreen WITH the actual actors-it really needs to feel convincing. The aliens in ‘Fire in the Sky’ are pure perfection, I can only imagine them invading a home, but for some reason Hollywood just doesn’t have either the skill or patience to film real monster effects anymore. That all being said ‘No One Will Save You’ is still somewhat entertaining and filled with a few twists and turns. There’s several styles of aliens too that enter the mix-two of them particularly look awkwardly cartoonish and some of the chase/fight sequences get a bit too ridiculous and cartoonishly rambunctious at times. But, there is a neat little story here at play despite all of my visual gripes that make this worth a look.
There’s a GREAT setting for all of this to take place, a beautiful little home tucked away in the countryside and it really doesn’t take long for the Aliens to arrive and get “nasty”. Kaitlyn Dever does a good job in the lead with almost no spoken dialogue and does her best trying to look scared shitless by CGI creatures. It’s definitely not the best alien invasion film I’ve seen before and works better honestly as drama than a “horror” film. There’s some decent attempts at deep character development/motivation as a young woman lives in seclusion by choice and we go on a journey to put together exactly why she’s struggling so much with every day life. The film by the end takes some turns I didn’t see really see coming-mostly in the film’s last final couple minutes. It’s got a message that’s worth some discussion and likely could be interpreted in several ways.
It’s pretty decent streaming content but nothing that’s anywhere near as effective or memorable as Communion, Fire in the Sky or even Dark Skies from 2013. I was pretty excited for my grey alien fix but I feel film now just isn’t capable of going the distance-I’m not even sure many of these modern directors could execute a film like E.T. these days without relying largely on digital fx. I think they could have given us some terrifying creatures using animatronics, like a lanky marionette and used CG to remove wires, strings and puppeteers. Also keeping a creature like a grey in the shadows is when they feel most terrifying-instead this film has them running and jumping all over the place in plain sight. Their design is far too digital to showcase so prominently. Instead the less is more approach makes them much more mysterious and terrifying. This pic from Fire in the Sky is a good example:
The craft of executing a real shot on real film feels like a true thing of the past. This one’s worth a watch, I don’t expect too much anyways from an original film for HULU. I say check it out if you’re looking for some classic alien action and if you’re REAAAALLLY scared of CGI monsters this movie will NOT disappoint.
DYLAN’S NEW NIGHTMARE: Freddy Krueger’s SORTA Back!!
Have you been hoping for Freddy Krueger to return in the same way that Michael Myers has in the latest “Halloween” trilogy? Me neither-But I’m always open to check out a sweet new fan film! From some director Cecil Laird and the same team who brought the excellent ‘Never Hike Alone’ (Friday The 13th) fan film has returned, adding a new chapter to the ‘New Nightmare’ chapter of ‘A Nightmare on Elm St’ franchise. I gave this a whirl the other night and was pretty impressed with this 34 minute short film.
We continue with Dylan, the son Heather Langencamp (Nancy) from Wes Craven’s ‘New Nightmare’, is now an aspiring actor trying to land a role in the next “Hatchet” film when his audition goes off the rails when Freddy shows back up to begin terrorizing him! To keep it extra authentic Miko Hughes returns in the role of Dylan, now all grown up and ready to face a newer nightmare. So this alone is a real treat that keeps the thread of terror grounded firmly in the franchise-a real nice touch. But what about the real star of the show, Mr. Freddy Krueger himself? Obviously we don’t get Robert England back, I’d for a moment hoped they’d have gotten him at the very least for the voice because Freddy here looks pretty great for the most part (his caved in sunken black eyes are a bit much tho). Dave McRae has some big boots to fill here and though he isn’t always the spitting image of the classic Freddy he does a decent enough job in the role, one that’s evident here, is near impossible to fill.
What we get though is a pretty ambitious little “new” chapter here that highly improves on the imperfections of the wretched remake from 2010. Freddy feels much more like his old self, armed with his campy one-liners with the vibe more in line with the original franchise, with a few moments of practical fx gore to chomp on. It looks pretty good for the most part, it does feel a little fan film-ish and maybe needed a few better locations and amped up dreamy atmosphere to real hit the point home for die hard Fred Heads. I also think this short film could’ve really benefitted from a more inventive sequence to end the film, one of the best things about Freddy in the movies are the totally memorable horror sequences, things like the roach motel, the pizza with the Freddy faces etc are a staple in the classic franchise-this could have based it’s somewhat lackluster “finale” instead on an more inventive horror sequence reminiscent of the classic franchise to really up the ante and quench that Elm Street thirst. Still it’s a neat little fan film that is worth a watch for the fans as we all obviously yearn for more Freddy.
I’d say it’s time for one final Englund Freddy flick. Though he’s recently stated he’s in no shape to reprise the role, he’s 75 and (thicker around the waist) I still think he could make it work as is. Perhaps it’s been too long in the dream realm and as Freddy’s been out of the psyche of all of the teens he once scared to death, he’s older, much less powerful now and slowly dying off, but he get’s one last chance perhaps being aided by some sort of dream demon apprentice who brings his power back and in turn is willing to continue on his legacy-there we could explore the actual lore that made Freddy into the legendary dream demon. A final showdown with him and his apprentice when Nancy realizes his power is returning-she must enter the dream realm to finish him off before he reaches full power.
Who knows “older Englund Freddy” could even possess Kevin Bacon (as a new character and rumored to have real interest in taking over the role) in the real world, transform him into the new version of Krueger-they could even utilize Robert’s voice when he’s possessed? Just ideas-but likely Hollywood just wants a new Freddy Krueger cast to try and make some $$$ rather than an inventive “one last hurrah”, working a story that caters to Robert Englund’s age. In the meantime though this is a good enough fan film to keep the spirit of Elm Street in the consciousness of teens of the modern age-If they could bring back Krueger there’s so many interesting modern tropes that Freddy could riff on-that being said it’s probably realistically time to leave the Elm Street legacy alone and let it age gracefully….
Check out Dylan’s New Nightmare to watch for free right HERE!
The Next Best Thing to The 1990 Practical FX TMNT!!?
Cowabunga dude!!! I’ve been saying it for years, they need to bring back the 1990’s practical fx Jim Henson Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles!! Lets face the damn facts nothing they produced since has been very good or really anywhere close to what the fans want. I really haven’t been excited about the TMNT franchise since the first two films.
Having recently revisited the 1990 original it was more than apparent how well that movie had aged and how dark it really is in comparison to anything they’ve put out since. One of the best things about it was indeed the practical effects, but also the sets, choreography and real martial arts that were used to bring them to life on screen. We are now living in an age where no filmmaker seems to be ambitious enough to attempt to bring them back to life in the way that soooo many fans have wanted for so long. So what do you do when you’ve completely given up on the Turtles coming back in the way they did in that original film?
I guess you just wait for a CGI animated version of the characters that might still deliver that original spirit and oddly that’s exactly what we got in these new 2 pieces of test footage put together by John Likens. This is incredibly interesting, when I first viewed it I was a bit perplexed, at first glance I almost thought these were new practical fx Turtles! I was a bit disappointed to find they were created via CGI, of course, it’s 2023-no one would ever film the Turtles with their real suits. Still tho, this footage is wildly impressive, so much so that I just might be willing to give a TMNT film another real go, check this out and let me know if I’m crazy?!
Even though each of these 2 clips are only seconds song I can see the potential and as we’re never going to get real life actors playing the characters again this is clearly the best version of them I’ve seen since. Their look reminds me of the darker original comic books of the 80s blended with the 1990 cinematic TMNT.
I’d say give this guy a chance to work his magic, better yet how about a mix of practical fx Turtles AND cgi ala the magic of The original Jurassic Park?! I know it’d never happen Hollywood is clearly unable to wrap their head around filming real fx, with real stunts, clever real life choreography and real old school pyrotechnics. So this seems like the best we might get, but it also feels too much like something fans would like. These days it seems like Hollywood is unwilling to really give fans what they want. I’m not sure quite why? I’m excited to see the remaining Turtles get the test footage treatment regarless….
VHS Verdict: 80’s ‘Flesheaters from Outer Space’ Invade New Jersey!
Some ‘shot on video’ horror flicks can be a real challenge to get through in my opinion. I always give an “A for effort” but let’s face it, shooting a feature film on a camcorder in the late 1980s doesn’t always equal a real memorable viewing experience. However I can firmly say that if you’re in the mood for some highly ambitious, enjoyable trash that ‘Flesheaters From Outer Space’ all the way back from 1989 surely delivers the damn goods!
It’s actually got quite an ambitious little plot going on for something made on a shoe string budget. Somehow director, Warren F. Disbrow, manages to for the most part pull it off while slipping in some heavy metal Jersey hunks and babes as well as gore a ‘plenty along the way. As you can probably imagine the New Jersey area in this Nifty little horror film is a delight to visit and of course features a carnivorous space alien on the loose causing havoc major around around every seedy corner in town. The film goes in a lot of strange directions particularly having a hard time settling on one particular plot narrative to follow. It features a hunky heavy metal band, a woman with psychic powers, a “John Rambo” type drifter as well as an offshoot serial killer storyline trying to interweave into it as well. But all that aside this is really a movie to turn your brain off too becuz ‘Flesheaters from Outer Space’ also really manages to cram in some pretty gory and gooey C-grade monster affects as well for horror hounds to chomp on. Yeah there’s plenty of the red stuff flowing freely here, and a whole motley cadre of numbskulls for this hungry alien creature to munch on.
But it’s not all just horror here, there’s plenty of boobs, butts (men and women), wild 1980s parties, teenage drama and even some unexpected romance as well as a couple musical numbers by a pretty “impressive” glam rock band that’s slightly over stays it’s welcome in the best ways possible. I guess in a way it has a sort of “low-rent x files” type of thing going on as well, at around 90 minutes though it sure does oddly begin to feel it’s run time being much longer than it actually is. However I can’t say in this case it’s a particularly bad thing because this movie never gets boring-it’s is a pretty excellent party flick to enjoy with your friends and a couple of beers. That’s most definitely the best way to view this one. I think it’s likely because the movie goes in so many stupid directions that you feel like you’re getting an overload of ridiculous subplots and without spoiling it all it has one of those relatively abrupt but satisfying endings.
There’s also some pretty cool little twists that you probably will never see coming-I mean it’s no Alfred Hitchcock but it really tries to deliver you the goods and I’ve always got to appreciate the ambition the director had for his shot on video vision. Apparently they filmed a sequel for this in 1998 called ‘Invasion for Flesh and Blood’.
I’m gonna have to seek that out for sure and see if the lighting strikes twice. I see that Troma released this on a double feature disc-but back in the day it was released on video by In the meantime I’m looking forward to checking out the sequel. If you’re looking for something stupid to watch with friends on a Saturday night then this one’s sure to scratch your “so bad it’s good” movie itch. It’s really got it all and you can’t help but find the charm in a movie that really tries it’s best to go for the gold….Oh and there’s no trailer for this one online but there is for the sequel:
INDIANA JONES & The DIAL of DESTINY: A Modern Classic?
Well the wait is finally over, we finally got the sequel we’ve ALL been waiting for over 15 years right?! The ultimate redemption from the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull? The exhilarating final chapter in the Indiana Jones saga FINALLY done like a real Indiana Jones classic….unfortunately it isn’t the fifth installment, The Dial of Destiny. I don’t want to waste too much time here as everyone and their mom has got an opinion on this BIG summer blockbuster. It’s not the greatest Indy sequel as a lot of people out there are claiming and it’s certainly not the “worst movie of the year” as many professional Disney hating man-babies seem to be obsessed with proclaiming. Nope it’s just a very servicable, mediocre end to an epic iconic 80s franchise. It’s definitely a step above Kingdom of the Crystal skull, not by much, but it manages to feel a bit more organic in some ways at least. Based just on the story IMO Kingdom of the Crystal Skull remains the better Indy adventure at least on paper, but how poorly it was executed onscreen left even the most die hard Indy fans scratching their heads in disbelief.
Well the latest installment tries its best(?) to make up for the wrongs of the previous movie. However it starts off feeling a bit too much like its predecessor with a de-aged CGI faced Harrison Ford in a far too long opening sequence jam-packed with tons of wonky CGI and green screen backdrops. This attempt at bringing a younger Indiana Jones to life really felt like an AI imitation at best. I’m still baffled that they didn’t choose to hire Anthony Ingruber for the sequence, whose uncanny resemblance to real life Harrison Ford in ‘Age of Adeline’ left fans clamoring for him to be cast as young Han Solo. Instead in true Disney fashion they choose to use some weird looking digital de-aging technique to try and capture the old magic. In my opinion they end up with something that feels a somewhat soul-less Chat GPT written imitation Indiana Jones opening action sequences.
From that point the movie slightly improves and we get taken on an adventure teaming up Indiana Jones randomly with his God daughter Helena, nicknamed “Wombat”. This character right now is being trashed by the people obsessed with “woke Hollywood”, I personally don’t see that angle here with her. All in all the character of Helena is just fine and never rises much anywhere above that. In many ways she’s essentially “the new Mutt Williams”, who was conveniently killed off, offscreen to make way for the new female sidekick who resembles his son far too much in attitude. I personally would’ve rather they stuck with the landing and just brought Mutt back rather trying to now set up & sell us Indiana Jones’s long lost God daughter, whose father was a “one off” character we’ve never seen before except in the first 20 minute CG heavy opening. I just didn’t feel the connection.
Also they do sort of pull a “Force Awakens” Hans Solo style treatment to Indiana Jones as he’s now separated from new wife Marion Ravenwood (who he just married at the finale of the last film) over the death of their son. We basically are forced to spend time in this installment erasing everything that came before in KOTCS and frankly to me it’s a little bit redundant. From there they embark on a globe-trotting adventure in a race against a group of modern day Nazi’s. They also team up with what I assume to be an attempt bring us a new “Short Round” in the character of Teddy. Unfortunately those shoes are just too damn hard to fill, and Teddy doesn’t quite have the charisma, that being said he’s an ok addition to the cast. The big problem here, everything is just sorta “okay” like a vanilla soft serve ice cream from McDonald’s. It’s totally fine if you’re jonesin’ for a cool treat and there’s nothing else around.
To make a loooooong story short ‘The Dial of Destiny’ is just too damn long, its “comedy” never fully lands, it’s action sequences (which mainly revolve around long car chases) aren’t particularly interesting and the whole thing just feels very unnecessary. Especially when it feels like it really doesn’t build upon what had come directly before it. That being said though, like the previous at least it didn’t spend its time trying to be a “best of/call back” adventure movie. It again at least has its own identity. Though it again did employ its fair share of CGI it was convincing enough to not pull us into the realm of another emabarrassing Crystal Skull experience. As a big fan I think there needed to be a few key things to really consider for a home run smash hit to a modern Indiana Jones finale: No CGI, film it ALL practical. No de-aging for his young opening, cast a REAL person. Bring back key characters that we care about to go on the adventure. Finish it off with at least a good George Lucas original story idea-just to keep it authentic. I spent some time years ago coming up with what I though might be a compelling way to craft part 5 –I posted that very idea HERE.
I’m really not exactly sure what the point of this last installment truly was, It actually just sort of brings things full circle back to the end of Crystal Skull. It features an aging adventurer who’s seen better days and had so many more exhilarating adventures than what they decided again to bring onto the big screen so many years later. I guess this really just might’ve been trying to set up a new franchise for Helena & Teddy? Sitting in the theater, I couldn’t help but think how incredible this movie could’ve been had they chosen to employ Ke Huy Kuan again as Short Round & for some of the movie at least utilizing Marion Ravenwood and maybe even his son Mutt. Moving things forward rather than course correcting. The fact that they didn’t choose to at the very least bring back Short Round is bewildering to me. Making me realize just how seriously out of touch big Hollywood is with what fans would find as a truly heartfelt send off for Indiana Jones’s final adventure.
My final thoughts- I guess I can say this last installment was a lot better than i’d initially expected it to be. However it really made me realize just how badly I truly want them to stop making unnecessary “sequels” to my favorite 80s movies. Whatever filmmaking magic they were able to conjure up back then today feels like an impossibility. Again another missed opportunity to bring back the true heart and soul of indiana Jones one last time. For me the fitting end was The Last Crusade, but today I witnessed the most mediocre finale to likely my favorite film series of all time….
Universal Dork 