Tagged: Movie

Even More Universal Dork Halloween Horror Picks! The Tall Man!

So this year’s list of horror movies to check out at the theater seems pretty weak ass to me. So far we have has V/H/S which got incredibly mixed reviews, Sinister (who former Universal Dork contributor The One From Beyond warned me was a complete pile of dog shit) and Paranormal Activity 4 which is jammed packed with even MORE doors slowly opening! So what the fuck is a horror hound supposed to do in this day and age of shitty Hollywood Horror? Well I just recently viewed Pascal Laugier’s “The Tall Man” and really enjoyed the hell out of it!

This movie probably should have seen a wide release especially with Jessica Biel as the movies’ main starpower. Now if you’ve seen Laugier’s previous movie Martyrs then you know this guy is a real talent. That movie caused quite a stir and left me with images that to this day are hard to erase from my mind. So I would never really recommend Martyrs to anyone because it’s just too much of a challenge to view. However I am glad I saw it and even though The Tall Man is a much much different type of horror film I can see strong similarities in how the stories unfold in both.

The plot is simple in The Tall Man, it follows a mother (Biel) who’s a doctor in small troubled town suffering from economic collapse. There many children have since gone missing and many locals believe it to be the work of an evil supernatural being called The Tall Man. It’s not long before our main character comes face to face with the legendary stranger as he attempts to steal her son. Now honestly that’s all I should really tell you about the plot, anything more would spoil this cool little film that has a LOT to say in the end.

You will be scratching your head mid way through confused as hell I promise but in the end it will all make sense. If you have seen Martyrs you know what I mean. The movie has many elements to it and to simply call it a horror movie would be a crime. However I think this was an exciting watch and one of the better new horror movies I’ve seen in quite some time. For those of you who’ve seen Martyrs don’t worry this one won’t leave you quite as scarred just more intrigued than anything else…

Universal Dork’s Halloween Movie Picks: Creepy Ass Dolls!

Hey I am back again with another Halloween horror movie pick from the past! One of my personal favorite topics of horror flicks are that of the creepy doll! Yeah I know we all first think of Child’s Play which is easily one of if not the best creepy doll movie. However there are a good number of others that are pretty swell as well like Dolly Dearest from 1991 which is basically a female version of Child’s Play and of course The Puppetmaster series is also fairly decent.

But one of my personal faves is “Dolls” from 1986 from horror legend Stuart Gordon and of course the wonderfully cheesy Charles Band. This short and sweet little creepy horror classic is essentially a dark fairy tale jammed to the brim with freaky living dolls.

It follows a group of travelers as they take refuge from a strom in a strange mansion in the countryside owned by a far too friendly elderly couple. However the group consists some people that are far from friendly, two rowdy British punkers and a greedy married couple along with their little girl and the young at heart traveling salesman. It seems that when the lights go out for the night the dolls emerge to teach the naughty adults some lessons.

The whole movie is just a whole lot of fun all together. A simple plot can sometimes make for the best type of film and Gordon does a great job with presenting us with a whimsical, dark & atmospheric setting. Dolls is also filled with some fun 80’s fx via puppetry, animatronics and some cool stop motion.

So this Halloween check this out, it’s a great little horror flick that we will all learn a valuable lesson from, I know I’ll be popping this into my dvd player again this Halloween!

Recent “Evil Dead” Leaked Trailer Mania: Did it Deliver?

So like everyone else out there who’s a fan of horror, I recently watched the bootleg version of the new Evil Dead remake leaked trailer. It seems it’s so far got a lot of great reactions. If you haven’t seen it you should check it out. So far it looks pretty decent. It promises to be everything fans of the movie would hope for in a remake. This was promised by Bruce Campbell himself. I don’t doubt it will be entertaining while highly uncalled for in the same breath. To me it’s just not that exciting, even with an ultra shocking, super gory trailer and yeah even with Bruce himself getting behind it. I really don’t have to say it again, but I personally would rather have the energy someone puts into a movie like this be spent on something new and fresh.

I like most fans of the franchise would rather have one last adventure with Bruce reprising his role as Ash. And please people, Bruce is NOT too old to play Ash. His age would only make it that much more entertaining and comedic. For some reason though it’s been talked of for years it never happens. Instead we get something like “Drag Me to Hell” from Raimi. A near perfect horror romp minus the horrible CG which ends up spoiling the movie for true splatter fans. So maybe it’s best Raimi stays away from Evil Dead 4, perhaps he and Bruce know it’d end up lackluster?

Either way I will end up checking out this new Evil Dead movie. It looks creepy as hell, gory, and from what I can deduct thus far not too heavily reliant on CG. I will admit though honestly when it comes to Evil Dead for me I am much more of a Part 2 & Army of Darkness kind of guy. So letting this remake pass with out too much bitching is not that incredibly hard. However once they move into the casting a “new” Ash territory there may be some problems. But given the right director in this day and age can really change it all. Besides I would have never believed in a million years I would have been ok with new people playing Captain Kirk and Spock. How they pulled that one off still baffles me…what do you think?

Oh and I couldn’t find a good link to the leaked trailer so this will have to do!

OFF! + Jack Black = AWESOME!

I love OFF! they are easily one of my favorite bands around today. Consisting of members of Black Flag, Circle Jerks, Redd Kross and Rocket From the Crypt these guys show the young pups what real punk rock is supposed to sound like.

With most songs clocking in at around a minutes or less they’ve managed to recreate perfect punk rock you’d swear was recorded in 1981.

Well now they’ve teamed up with Jack Black to make one of the best videos of the year, a grindhouse movie battle crammed into one minute of pure awesomeness….enjoy!

Most Lame Movie Kill Ever!!

I like to blog as much as possible, but alas sometimes I can’t think of jack shit to write about! That’s when you can expect shit like this, which I think is better than a thousand words…

Oh yeah and if you think there’s one more lame than this I’d like to see it! I doubt this one can be topped!

Fievre: Mixing Lucid Dreams & Horror!

I have always been intrigued with lucid dreaming as I have myself had the pleasure of having them many times in my life thus far. If you don’t know what lucid dreaming is then let me explain simply. It’s when while dreaming something suddenly triggers an awareness that you are inside a dream. Usually if you can avoid waking by the sensation you can actively manipulate the surroundings, situations & people you encounter. It also many times grants the dreamer super powers like flying ect. I have to say once you have a lucid dream you’ll never quite be the same.

Well this brings me to a new upcoming horror film I am excited about, Romain Basset’s “Fievre” or Fever as it will be called here in the US. Much of this movie supposedly takes place in the surreal dreamworld and from what have heard so far doesn’t skimp on gore or cool creature effects. There’s a great piece on it here at Rue Morgue that’s pretty awesome. The synopsis sounds pretty interesting:

“Jessica has never dreamed in her life but has had regular nightmares, the meaning of which escaped her. This peculiarity has led her to conduct studies specializing in the psychophysiology of dreams and to follow a therapy with Sean, her mentor and boyfriend, to try and understand the origins of her nightmares Continue reading →

The Wolverine: First Official Movie Pic Proves Nothing!

Today this new first official picture from “The Wolverine”, Marvel’s second attempt at a solo Wolverine movie after the god awful X-men Origins: Wolverine has finally arrived. Many are saying that from this pic alone that the franchise is finally headed in the right direction. I say this new picture don’t prove JACK SHIT! To me all this picture proves is that Jackman has been lifting weights, something required um if you’re gonna play Wolverine in a god damn movie!! It also shows that he’s got a lot of veins on his arms and that he maybe just walked out of a barber shop! This picture could have been from the last movie for cryin’ out loud! I bet this movie ends up a slick rubbery cg schlock fest. I don’t think Hollywood is capable anymore of making a “real” Wolverine movie. I think Jackman’s day is done as the character. I was personally hoping for a reboot! Can you believe that? Me hoping for a reboot?

Oh yeah one last thing Hollywood would you please give Wolverine his crazy fucked up hair? This pic looks like Hugh Jackman in a GQ photo shoot with claws rather than Wolverine with his claws unsheathed…until I see a trailer I’m gonna be a dick about this one..ok done ranting…

Hypothermia: Best Movie Poster Of 2012!

I am a sucker for a good creature feature and right now I have high hopes for Hypothermia! This movie will be released Oct 2nd on DVD which is right around the corner here. It seems there’s a shortage of good monster flicks these days so I am hoping this one will deliver. So far I like the plot, which is nice and simple. It follows a group of ice fishers in Maine who aren’t catching anything in their local lake. They do a little research and find out that there are no fish inhabiting the lake at all….just a weird monster beneath the ice!

So far from the still via Dreadcentral.com it looks like a weird humanoid lamprey. Hopefully the movie isn’t jam packed with shitty cg. One thing it definately has going for it though is it’s movie poster! Talk about a throwback to 80’s VHS!!

The Avengers 2 gets Thanos…yawn…The Avengers 3: Top 5 Villains Wishlist!

It’s been confirmed today that Thanos will be the official villain for both The Avengers 2 and The Guardians of the Galaxy. Seriously both movies?! That’s a double dose of one of my least favorite Avengers villains ever! Uggh….I know everyone loves the Infinity Gauntlet but well to me I have always thought Thanos was a rather lackluster villain. He’s like DC’s Darseid only not as cool. I really was hoping that we’d get something different from the second Avengers movie, maybe even save this Thanos thing for the third movie as it seems inevitable that they’d have to make that storyline go somewhere.

I guess the whole cosmic Avengers and X-men stories for some reason have been my least favorite. But hey people fucking love shit when it’s in space, Jason, Hellraiser and god damn Leprechaun all made it into space right? Personally I always liked a more personal earthly threat, though I loved The Avengers I thought it’s villain/villains were a bit flawed and to be quite honest rather dull. The next installment I think needs an awesome cast of villains to deliver on levels and not only challenge the Avengers but really hurt them on more than just a physical level. I just don’t think Thanos is the man for the job. If it were up to me we’d see something like this for the third film:

1. Baron Zemo & The Masters of Evil:

To me having Zemo and The Masters of Evil would be the most perfect story for the next film. Not only do things get heated with these guys and The Avengers they downright dirty! If you don’t believe me just read The Avengers: Under Seige storyline, in my opinion the best Avengers story ever. With the Masters you also get a boatload of major villains that would be amazing to see on the big screen!

2. Doctor Doom:

This guy is easily one of the greatest villains ever!! Seriously everyone hates this guy, from Spidey, to Cap, to the Fantastic Four to yeah The Avengers! Seriously Marvel don’t waste your time saving him for yet another crappy ass Fantastic Four flick. Do him right-save him for the third film at least. Just let him be the ultimate Marvel villain he’s destined to be…Put him up against The Avengers!!

3. The Leader and his Gamma Crew:

So for The Avengers we got Thor’s ultimate villain Loki in the spotlight and personally he didn’t cut the cake for me! So why not bring a major Hulk villain to the table? We already got a glimpse of Samuel Sterns in the Norton Hulk film, so why not bring him into The Avengers 3? He could bring along a team of gamma freaks to take on the team also. The return of a further mutated Abomination (looking more like the comic book version), the evil gamma zombie Half-life, The Harpy, even the Bi-beast could be part of his crew….and of course his rubbery pink henchmen would have to be in it as well!

4. Modok:

He was rumored as a possible villain in one of the upcoming movies already, but this freak would be the perfect villain for an Avengers movie. Imagine how horrific this guy would look on the big screen! Plus he rules over A.I.M. and they’d be the perfect threat against Shield & the team. So let’s get this weirdo on the big screen because he’s sure to put some real fear into movie goers hearts!

5. Ultron:

Now this guy could be quite possibly the coolest most ruthless Avenger’s villain of them all! Leave it to Hank Pym to fuck shit up for the team because in the third movie (assuming he appears in the second film) he could introduces his greatest creation Ultron to the world! Yeah and then shortly after Ultron goes berserk and decides that the world must be rid of humans and become completely cybertronic! A simple concept that potentially threatens the entire planet. imagine all of awesome robotic creatures the Avengers could face off against! Plus they’d have to include Jocasta to The Avengers roster-the hottest robot of all time!!

Yo “Mama” Never Looked So Scary!

I posted a little short film a couple weeks ago called “Mama” “three minutes of what the hell is going on?” freaky ass shit! Well the short clip received so much positive feedback that director Andy Muschietti got the go ahead to make the idea into a full on feature film.

Telling the story of two little girls who lived “alone” in the woods for five years after their parents passed away. Luckily they are finally rescued, however it seems “Mama” has also come with them to their new suburban home. Check out the trailer, it’s no wonder why Del Toro got his name all over this one like the short film it looks freaky as all get out! This one will be released January 2013…