Tagged: foreign 80’s horror movies

Hong Kong’s 1989 Satanic Cult Action Flick- BLOOD RITUAL!

After re-watching  the 1976 classic satanic cult/ road trip/ action/ horror/ hybrid ‘Race with the Devil’ I was still in the mood for more “devil cult” related flicks. Well lucky for me, Hong Kong gave us a nice little CAT III gem from 1989 called ‘BLOOD RITUAL’ and it delivers quite the grimy punch-a wild and crazy little forgotten actioner that’s ripe for a fancy-ass blu ray release!

I had quite a bit of fun with this one and it’s sorta refreshing when weeding through so many overly slapstick Hong Kong horror comedies, when you come across something that really balances just the right amount of humor action and gore all into one weird little freaky package. ‘Blood Ritual’ definitely starts out with a bang. Featuring a sexy sweat covered woman in red high heels, completely naked being, stalked by a gang of cult members all dressed in white. She’s caught, carried away and immediately enters into, you guessed it, a god damn blood ritual!

We then get a tuff cop who’s hot on the case and a detective who’s just been released from prison, who’s trying to start a new life. At least that’s what I was able to cobble together with rudimentary & hard to read subtitles on this film print. They both get way more than they bargained for when it comes to their attention via a pretty sweet looking indie comic book zine that’s been making the rounds in Hong Kong that a killer satanic cult has been taking innocent victims for their bizarre ritualistic sacrifices. It’s all dressed up with evil hand drawn imagery, sexy sinister situations and pentagrams a’ plenty! It’s the kind of comix I couldn’t seem to get enuff of in the late 80s- DAAAAMN~!

This starts a race against time, trying to track down the wicked cultists before they snatch their next innocent victim. Meanwhile we get a pretty likable/comical cast and I’d go as far to say that it at times actually moves a bit into the “rom com” category as well, making it quite an interesting little over the top mash up. So the “recently released from prison detective” (I’m guessing that is what he is?) manages to meet a sassy bar room singer one evening and even manages to rent a room from her family. In classic form, neither of them get along too well together at first and their “relationship” leads to one of the strangest sequences I’ve seen in a Hong-Kong movie yet. Involving a severed finger, a ring, laxative, a fishbowl and chopsticks. Ok so if your imagination is running wild you’ve probably guessed exactly the truly bizarre scenario that unfolds to help complete the detectives  bizarre lead on these cult members whereabouts. It sorta has to be seen to be believed, you won’t see this line of action in ‘Silence of the Lambs’ or ‘Se7en’ to get a lead on a case that’s for SURE!

I really love checking out these obscure and in this case forgotten foreign films like this that managed to hit all the right wild beats yet still remain unknown to the general public, here in the USA at least. Movies just like this that manage to show you something you’ve never quite seen before in a film-it’s pretty impressive. ‘Blood Ritual’ delivers some genuine thrills and chills as well as some frenetic action sequences that are quite unique to this era of Hong Kong cinema. Stunt work that blows your mind. Also the cult members are the real devilish deal, sever their limbs and they’ll use them as a weapon in a total animalistic rage against you-it’s not being played for laughs either, something I totally can get behind. Check this shit out if you’re in doubt!

Filled with spooky locales, intense bloody action, some pretty decent humor (as least from what I could make out), some “romance” and a finale that’s right up there with the best of anything that USA produced in that era, imo better – Blood Ritual will knock you right on your ass. Think a bit of Stallone’s ‘Cobra’ with more over the top action and a vicious killer cult to dismantle. I got a copy of this on DVD from Far East Flix, though I enjoyed it, I’d say this movie is in desperate need of a cleaned up blu ray release with better subtitles.

The subs at times don’t seem to make a lick of sense either, many of them disappearing completely into the background of the movie doesn’t seem to help, still I was able to get the gist of things and could tell it’s a unique littler horror thriller in need of a “CULT” following. Someone step up to the plate and give Blood Ritual the damn respect it rightfully deserves!

VHS Verdict: ‘Wizard’s Curse’ 1992’s Bizarre Raunchy Kung Fu Horror Flick!!

I’ve been checking out a lot of 1980’s and 90’s foreign horror movies lately and the ones from Hong Kong are most definitely the most outrageous of them all. 1992’s ‘Wizard’s Curse’ is certainly proof of that, a mix of raunchy sex comedy, horror, fantasy and action all rolled into one big weird ball.

 A pair of “on the run” criminal lovers rumored to be practitioners of dark magic are hunted down by local police lead by a taoist demon hunter. Using his own unique supernatural abilities he aids the cops, managing to personally slay them both in a pretty fantastic opening sequence. Soon after, a local crazy cult leader with a super creepy sewer dungeon lair resurrects their spirits into a one shared physical body, granting them superhuman powers, a wild sex drive & leaving them thirsting for human brains-he’s created the ultimate monster-the “TERRIFIC VAMPIRE”. They set out on a mission, to track down Lam “the demon hunter” for revenge and seeking to eat the brains of a virgin born at the “spiritual hour” to gain ultimate terrific powers of everlasting evil. This sets into motion a chase as Uncle Lam (the demon hunter) battles them to protect his daughter and the life of a tuff guy wise ass virgin cop who becomes fully entangled in the case and is having a personal dilemma with his recently injured cock.

Yeah it’s a weird one. It features Ching-Ying Lam better known for his role in the iconic ‘Mr. Vampire’ movies of the 1980’s as the even tempered ass kickin’ magic dad. The bad guy & girl uniquely share one body, change sexes at random & wear a totally bad ass 80’s leather clad outfit that’d make ‘The Terminator’ SUPER jealous.

They rip though Hong Kong eating brains and murdering people with a huge glowing throbbing’ cock, that’s used most of the time like a super powered snake like battering ram. There’s some really great 80’s style fx work going here, martial arts, out of place sex jokes, genuinely creepy moments and some frenetic action sequences keep ‘Wizard’s Curse’ moving at a brisk, ridiculous, bloody, action packed pace.

 Together (literally) they make a unique villain as the “Terrific Vampire” and the camera tricks utilized to make them inhabit the same monstrous body are a LOT of fun as well.

Ching-Ying Lam never disappoints with his on screen kung fu skills either, he’s one of the BEST and there’s some incredibly spastic supernatural battles to behold filled with cool acrobatics and glowing magic tricks o’ plenty to behold. However, the movie is also entirely unsure of what it wants to be as it’s littered with sex & dick jokes when you least expect it-it’s wildly unpredictable and that’s what makes it a totally great party jam.

A lot of these Hong Kong horror movies of that era go lots of different directions and while it certainly makes things interesting, it might’ve really benefitted by keeping the raunchy comedy to a bare minimum-to me though that’s sort of a  big why it somehow succeeds. Watching the movie with it’s rudimentary english subtitles is part of the real fun too-Wizard’s Curse is FILLED to the brim with the most insane head scratchers-someone pleeez do a serious English dub entirely based on the subtitles provided! It’d be a real cult classic imo…

 

At the end of the day, I really highly recommend ‘Wizard’s Curse’, if even just for it’s sheer absurdity alone-it really goes the distance. Though released in 1992 it feels one hundred percent 80’s fueled. Lots of neon, cool clothing, real stunts and a ton of great stupid 80’s FX work make it a unique little forgotten flick that rises above the rest. It’s filled with plenty of raunchy gags revolving around stupid sexual exploits, yet somehow never ends up being overly offensive, in fact there’s a lot of heart and charm at it’s  raunchy core. I liked the role of the “virgin” too being **SPOILER: the wise crackin’ hot shot cop instead of Lam’s daughter, who regularly spends her time dodging super creepy sex ploys from mega douchey sadistic men-you’ve just GOT to see the loser she narrowly dodges-the ultimate Hong Kong perv-out. Oh yeah & the finale is a total treat too as  Lam is forced to team up with his hilarious ex-wife who’s also a bad ass magic practitioner as well. And of course the movie’s “final moment gag” hinges on an over the top bizarro sex joke freeze frame. If you’re looking for an utterly charming, mind melter, hybrid horror, sex comedy, rom-com action flick most DEF check this one out, it’s got a lot of weird ass shit going for it. If that’s your cup of tea, like is mine-I can attest ‘Wizard’s Curse’ will certainly not disappoint! Hey Vinegar Syndrome-snag this oddity up and give it the American cult following it truly deserves…..

VHS Verdict: 1988’s Bizarre Horror Fantasy ‘Magic of the Universe’!

1988’s ‘Magic of the Universe’ (Originally released as ‘Salamamgkero’ in 1986) is one HELL of a bizarre horror adventure! Shot in the Philippines and chock full of dark creepy tropical locations, you surely get a lot more than you bargained for with an odd film that clearly must have had a pretty decent budget to work with. The plot itself is pretty sweet & simple, a talented circus magician named Jamir while doing his seemingly routine disappearing act to an eager crowd, accidentally makes his assistant/daughter disappear not only into thin air but from our reality entirely.

Perplexed, Jamir decides to search for answers, heads off in search of a creepy, mysterious shaman whom he’s heard rumor of residing deep in a nearby forest. The Shaman mixes him up a concoction of some sort from the severed head of a monkey (some serious ‘Temple of Doom’ tones here) and then ventures into a danger filled alternate dimension, to try and rescue his lover & kid sidekick who also go missing shortly after his daughter does. I’m guessing the monkey brain drink (some sort of DMT type concentration) opened some sort of portal, enabling Jamir to cross over. Once on the “other side” he discovers his loved one are captives of a powerful witch named “Mikula” who’s got a huge, sweaty pulsating head and commands a grotesque army of freakish animal people minions, swamp monsters and a plethora of gooey, gross things that go bump in the night.

The whole romp is a giant, cheezy ass fever dream, full of fog, colorful yet dark sets draped in blue & pink lighting and of course some unsettling puppet creatures. One in particular is “Globo”, a weird ass gremlin type puppet with a tv screen for a stomach. Globo’s even featured in the opening credits as “himself” as they decided to show every actor in their role, with their characters names in the opening credits of the movie, something you’d expect normally at the very end. There’s so much weird shit going on here once Jamir heads off into the alternate dimension that whatever story it’s supposedly trying to tell becomes utterly lost, making the whole thing seem even more dreamlike with every minute that passes. There’s even a weird ass party / dance scene with a full band that curiously resembles GWAR in all their monster glory. I guess I’d say this flick also brings to mind a more demented & confusing version of ‘Labyrinth’ and I mean that in the best way possible. Also at a lean running time of 84 minutes the pace rarely lags, there’s easily enough eye candy to go around here to keep horror fans guessing what oddities will present themselves next onscreen. It’s main villain, (the witch Mikula) is pretty damn entertaining too, I never got tired at looking at her fleshy bulbous head bubbling and come the end of the movie you get some great gooey, 80’s style neon action in the final battle.

If you’re a fan of weird ass cinema ‘Magic of the Universe’ definitely won’t disappoint, it’s tropical, humid nightmarish sets are worth the price of admission alone. Director Tata Esteban is fully ambitious here with his grand horror fantasy vision, perhaps not the most easy to comprehend but hey, this is a perfect movie to check out with a few too many drinks & a gang of trashy cinefiles on a Saturday nite! No one will need to pay too much attention to plot either! It’s available to watch on Youtube or you can also hunt down the dvd version of the movie on a horror double feature! I’m certain there’s a VHS copy of this one out there somewhere still but it’s probably a challenge to track down. I watched this one from my Netflix DVD service (yeah, I still do that! For movies like this!) Check it out if you’re feelin’ crazy..