Tagged: blu-ray
Holiday Horrors: ‘TWO FRONT TEETH’ An Ambitiously Stupid, Low Budget Creepy Y2K Christmas Adventure!
I’m trying to track down some weird cinematic Christmas gold this year by finally checking out some films that I’ve sort of avoided for years. Hearing that they’re a complete waste of precious holiday time or just resorting again to my “go to selections” that I often find myself a bit tired of when I pop on the tube as of late. So took a chance on a film that’s been on my radar for years when I spotted it at Portland, Oregon’s most prized video store, Movie Madness. TWO FRONT TEETH, released 2006 (but looks more like it was shot in the 90s?) is a shot on video (digital?) Christmas themed horror film that looks like a heap of cheap trash, is full of bad acting, lots of jokes that don’t work and yet there’s something about it I kinda love! This one was also made before everyone and their mother were pumping out Christmas themed horror films by the dozens every year. So it still stands out as an interesting largely hidden holiday oddity.
There’s quite a bit to dislike about the film if you’re gonna be really picky, mainly at how badly shot it is-it’s pretty ugly looking with lots of bad lighting, unimpressive sets and terribly bland locations. For instance, the opening scene take place on Christmas Eve in what looks like a cheap manufactured home that’s at the very least got an abundance of holiday decor on display. That’s what sort of saves this one-pretty much every scene is jam packed FULL of Christmas, so as bland as a lot of the sets do look they really give it their all to put the holiday on display. Sometimes obviously overdoing it-but considering the main characters names are Gabe Snow & Noelle it’s quite clear that was the intention here. Pretty much EVERYTHING is Christmas related, but somehow at it’s core has a somewhat “engaging” story that’s part horror, part comedy, part road adventure and even somewhat of a “romantic” drama. It’s a true oddity with a fair amount of heart & passion at it’s core that’s trying damn hard to push a narrative that’s far more ambitious than its budget actually allows. That’s not say though there’s not a lot to be quite impressed with here though somehow.
The plot is a wild one, It’s Christmas Eve and we meet Gabe Snow, a cowardly tabloid writer who’s emotionally traumatized by the holiday for unknown reasons, is investigating a Yuletide conspiracy for a paper called the X-Mas files. Gabe believes that a commercial airplane was brought down on Christmas Eve by a flying reindeer and is determined to bring the truth to the general public. He’s also in the midst of a nasty divorce as his foul mouthed, quite unlikable wife Noelle is banging one of her coworkers that festive evening at their home. But that’s the least of Gabe’s worries. Wicked vampire elves, descend upon his home and nearly murder his wife. This forces him and his wife to head out onto the open road to escape the threat and to find the only one who can seemingly help them, a “Creighton Duke” style bounty hunter who’s got the scoop on the deadly holiday conspiracy.
So as you can see the plot is quite absurd, but not played only just for cheap laughs-though there are plenty of those thrown around. Some of the comedy works and some of it does come off a bit too ham-fisted, again like the writers here think they’re really comedically clever. That being said the bulk of the film is actually played pretty straight for the most part and I think it works in it’s favor, despite most of the time looking like total shit. But being used to watching stuff that most would classify as total shit, I found that to be barely a problem. There’s some interesting backstories thrown in that pack some emotional weight as well that I give props for making attempts at real character development.
The movie never really slows down, at around 74 minutes it’s pretty lean and some of the fx here especially with the vampire elves look surprisingly pretty damn solid. They’re clad in black leather, have real creepy makeup fx with huge fleshy ears & some of their attack sequences are pretty well done too. Plus the “Creighton Cowboy” character is pretty fun addition as well and they definitely try and produce some solid action with him and his “toy guns”.
That’s not all though there are also three ninja nuns that show up as well as a pretty creepy vampire Santa named “Clausferatu” (an instance where the writers think that’s like super “clever”). The whole thing is pretty idiotic, but still shows an ambitious plot execution that you can feel is filled with passion and despite the odds is a lot of fun.
The kind of movie where you sort of begin to root for the cast and crew to deliver the goods within the confines of the budget. I kept thinking that this film if given to the right director and writer to tweak the somewhat too on the nose, cringey “holiday themed comedy” shit down a bit could have been an instant cult Xmas classic, if this exact same film had been shot on video in the 80’s people would likely today would regard it as a holiday horror genre must see. However given it’s release in 2006(an era not fully appreciated yet by most) it’s likely going to take a few more years before people catch on to just how unique this stupid little yuletide adventure really is. I for one will most definitely be giving this another watch next year! Two Front Teeth was a definite holiday treat I think that is currently aging quite nicely…
U-Dork MUST See Holiday Viewing: 1985’s ‘MONSTER’S IN MY ROOM’ w/ Seth Green?!
I just had a revelation: One of my long lost favorite episodes of ‘Tales from the Darkside’ is actually a Christmas themed horror story! Yeah, the legendary 1980s horror tv series created by icon George Romero is easily one of the best of all time, like any anthology series there are some misses among it’s three seasons but when they hit they’re some of the best. Originally planned as a ‘Creepshow’ sequel tv series, but renamed ‘Tales from the Darkside’ due to rights issues. Many of these episodes are just as good or better than what we got in the first two installments of the original two ‘Creepshow’ movies. So now that we’re back in the holiday season I’ve began some deep diving into forgotten xmas themed horror once again!
I hadn’t seen the 1985 episode ‘Monsters In My Room’ from the second season likely since the 80’s, however I never really forgot it. I just recently got the second season collection of the show on DVD and realized that Seth Green was the star of the episode AND that it also takes place on Christmas! A favorite of mine and a holiday horror treat I could appreciate all over again. The series already has two great Christmas themed episodes-and if you combined all three of these with a holiday wraparound it’s be akin to a real
“Creepshow Holiday anthology” flick-eons better than their 2020 special ‘Shapeshifters Anonymous’. The episodes you need to check out, if you’re looking for real 80’s Xmas horror are ‘The Yattering & Jack’, ‘Seasons of Belief’ & this episode ‘Monsters In My Room’.
We get a super creepy little tale that takes place at Christmas time were Seth Green is terrorized by creatures who live in his room and “come out to play” during the holiday. To make matters worse Seth’s new stepdad “Biff” is a total dick and is obsessed with “making a man” out of little Seth Green on Christmas Eve. When the monsters materialize in the form of an ogre, a huge saw blade, a tentacled monster beneath his bed and a wild wicked witch he naturally goes to his parents to let them know what he’s seen. But of course NO one believes him-especially not Biff who thinks he’s being a coward.
Things take a dark twist though as the “tuff guy sailor” Biff gets wasted one night and enters Seth’s room, singing him old school sailor anthems-one of the things that always seemed to stick with me was his ridiculous drunken singing where he performs: “what do you do with a yellow belly sailor? Shave his belly with a rusty razor” like a total buffoon. I love this episode, I think it’s one of the quintessential of the series, it’s got the holiday vibes all over it and a gang of super cool looking monsters, as well as some really well executed genuinely creepy sequences. Plus little kid Seth Green is awesome here and around this same time appeared in the ‘Amazing Stories’ episode ‘The Sitter’ a total gem of the series and horror themed as well.
So yeah check out THIS episode this year and if you by chance haven’t seen the other two Christmas themed ‘Tales from the Darkside’ episodes you’ve got to watch all three in ONE sitting, like a long lost 80’s Holiday “Creepshow” anthology film-a true trio of Xmas terror!
VHS Verdict: 1987’s ‘Order of the Black Eagle’ & the Return of Typhoon the Baboon!
I watched Order of the Black Eagle, a VHS that I was pretty pumped to see that’s currently stuck in “video only” limbo and is the sequel to 1986’s ‘Unmasking The Idol’. That one got a sweet Vinegar Syndrome blu ray release-that you just got to pick up if you’re looking for a total 80’s action banger. I was lucky enough to see the first installment here on the big screen in Portland, OR at the iconic Cinematic Theater with in a packed theater and boy was it a crowd pleaser! The star of the show is really the main character’s (a 007 style secret agent named “Duncan Jax”) animal sidekick, a Baboon named Typhoon, who’s got his own damn Letterboxd actor page! The lil guy kicks a LOT of ass in the first film. This of course is while he wears a tuxedo, does martial arts moves and flips people the bird whenever he gets the opportunity!
I HIGHLY recommend picking up that on blu ray-so I was naturally super stoked to find that the movie had a sequel from 1987! Made just a year later, so peeps must have been just as pumped as I was about this nifty little fully over the top adventure romp. Yes- Even more shenanigans from Duncan Jax AND of COURSE Typhoon the baboon. Sign me up! I’m a total sucker for 1980s adventure films jam packed with all the thing that make the era such a unique time for action filled with real explosions and crazy commandos.
Well I found it on VHS and threw up the projector and gave ‘Order of the Black Eagle’ an eager viewing. The rundown goes something like this: On a remote island, inside of a strange castle a gang of ambitious Neo nazi’s have an outrageous plan to revive Hitler from the dead. It’s up to Jax and his rag tag gang of super spies to infiltrate this evil clan and make sure Hitler stays dead forever! Now that’s some incentive huh?! He’s the ultimate evil looking a little waxy while still in suspended animation.
Well along the way we do get quite an adventure, full of explosions, lots of guns, jungles, babes, hunks, evil masterminds and over the top bastard henchmen. It’s pretty fun little dumb pulpy romp that unfortunately is a bit light on Typhoon the baboon and with his role significantly diminished in the second installment the film unfortunately begins to devolve into a generic rich white playboy secret agent man who simply doesn’t have the charm (or the script) of the real James Bond. Luckily he’s joined by a gang of gun crazy numb nuts the likes of this guy right here:
Typhoon was likely the main reason why ‘Unmasking the Idol’ felt SO special-no matter how many explosions you throw at us. Sure it’s still fun to see Hitler’s resurrection get foiled and Jax’s team of tough guys/gals (who barely get any character development) go to town on a huge nazi militia BUT what we really all came to actually see was the damn BABOON! And when he does appear the vibe obviously changes quickly as his charisma level is pretty much through the roof.
So what exactly was Typhoon doing most of the time here? Well even though he wasn’t on screen nearly as much as the last film-he still go plenty moments to flip people off (which never seems to get old) and also his big “highlight” comes when he jumps in a miniature primate sized tank(as seen in the above pic) and blows up a dozen Neo-nazis. So it’s still got a few entertaining chops under it’s sleeve but this time around most of the action involves Jax and his new band of misfit commandos-which is still a lot of fun to behold but still manages to be a bit bland at least in comparison to the first installment.
This also falls a bit into the “Indiana Jones rip-off” sub genre more this time, with lots of island jungle chases, river boating and shoddy cheap-o adventuring inside a castle temple that looks like it’s made out of cardboard. Count me in for anything from the era that strives to give us some “Indy action flavor”, It feels like I’m cutting this film down but it really does make for a fun midnight flick and I personally think Vinegar Syndrome should have released both films in a 2-pack.
This is in serious need of a new transfer as well as a some intense sound editing, the VHS version of the film’s dialogue is severely buried in the background noises and loud score. Overall ‘Order of the Black Eagle’ is a bit of a subpar sequel to a near perfect first installment-obviously it need more of Typhoon the baboon but had THIS been a stand-alone film I think it still would be deserving of a small but dedicated cult following. If you haven’t seen ‘Unmasking the Idol’ though you’re in for a real treat, just keep in mind that the sequel doesn’t really improve on much and it’s clear why a third film never materialized…
MOVIE MELT Podcast Goes Back to Hong Kong for the Wild Sexy 90s Horror of the ‘WIZARD’S CURSE’!!
Movie Melt is back and this time I’ve chosen the movie showcased on the latest episode, 1992’s WIZARD’S CURSE! This totally bonkers horror, sex comedy, martial arts hybrid flick is one of my absolute favorites & features the legendary late great ass kickin’ monster hunter Lam Ching Ying aka “Mr. Vampire” in perhaps his most over the top adventure of his filmography. You might have read my review on this one right here on U-dork a few years back. Well it was time to try and get this film a bigger following in the USA and Movie Melt is the BEST spot to make my case for this oddity.
A pair of “on the run” criminal lovers rumored to be practitioners of dark magic are hunted down by local police lead by a taoist demon hunter (Lam Ching Ying). Using his own unique supernatural abilities he aids the cops in killing them but alas, a local crazy cult leader with a creepy ass sewer dungeon lair steals their corpses, resurrects them into one shared physical body, granting them superhuman powers, a wild sex drive & leaving them thirsting for human brains. Creating the ultimate monster-the “TERRIFIC VAMPIRE”. Oh and by the way the Terrific Vampire has a glowing 20 foot long penis that is uses to bludgeon people to death-it’s quite a sight! Check this shit out:
Anyway we go deep into the film’s bizarre plot point, fx, the director and also talk about cool films you just might wanna check out. Oh of course we feature a “battle of the bands” segment that will turn your brain into Swiss cheese too!! Here’s a film that the blu ray companies like Vinegar Syndrome need to take note of-The Wizard’s Curse is unlike anything you’ve likely seen before. CHECK OUT THE MAYHEM RIGHT HERE!!!
Oh and here’s full film for moment up on Youtube it far to sassy to be shown here on Universal Dork as you can see:
The BOY’S NIGHT OUT Trailer & STRANGE TAPES Strange Show!!
We’re getting ready to release THE BOY’S NIGHT OUT soon, a 1989 no budget- supernatural horror- slasher film I made way back when with my friends that I recently finally edited into a more “cohesive story” with all of the raw footage-It only took 34 years!! Filmed back in my native state of Wisconsin, the movie was shot in and around The Fox Valley and features cheese-head horror the way it was meant to be-80s style!!
It will be a co-release of my new VHS label ‘Hollywood Babylon Home Video’ and the super cool ‘Black VVideo‘, who has several awesome releases under her belt already. She appeared on The ‘Strange Tapes Strange Show’ just a few days ago to chat about The Boy’s Night Out and more releases COMING SOON! Check this shit out:
Here’s what the hell this little flick is all about:‘ The Boys Night Out’ follows a gang of mischievous highschool bullies whose plans to “eliminate” two nerds during the final weekend of summer takes a dark unexpected turn when the deeds turn deadly. One is brought to a secluded rock quarry where a chemical spill has poisoned the pond waters and the other is left for dead in a local “haunted forest” were ghostly whispers of evil have been rumoured for decades.
Can these misguided teenage miscreants survive to see their junior year of high school begin on Monday? Or will they fall prey to the vengeful supernatural forces they’ve somehow awoken? It’s anyone’s guess in this coming of age tale of betrayal, murder, retribution and most of all horror- Straight out of the late ’80s from “America’s Dairyland”. The lost SOV film from the Fox Valley gets it most frightening revival, rescued from out of VHS obscurity! Here without further ado is the brand spankin’ new official trailer!
There you have it-a time Midwestern time capsule, that is not only a shot on video horror relic but also a look into life way back in 1989 Wisconsin! More details coming soon, but in the meantime get your VCR out of the attic-because The Boy’s Night Out is headed your way on VHS!!!
MOVIE MELT Podcast: “Squatchtober” Returns With LITTLE BIGFOOT 2!!
Halloween is all the rage, but what the F#$K about “Squatchtober”?! Well it’s back whether you like it or not-so is LITTLE BIGFOOT! Some people might not have wanted a Little Bigfoot sequel-but you got one anyway and here on Movie Melt we go DEEP into the sequel! If you are a giant fan of the PM Entertainment franchise you are in such luck. All the info and unique trivia you ever wanted to know about ‘Little Bigfoot 2’ is awaiting you right HERE on the latest episode!
‘Little Bigfoot 2: The Journey Home’ follows the exploits of a single parent family on a camping trip, yeah three kids and one helluva annoying dad who thinks he’s the most amusing guy on the planet head out into the woods where they run into a weird small man in an animatronic Bigfoot costume that sorta Romas around d the woods with a blank lifeless look on his face, wait, no that’s the star of the show-Little Bigfoot himself! Apparently he’s lost his family to an evil landowner, who wants to put the creatures in a circus, Little Bigfoot is homesick and severely depressed (coulda fooled me-he seems pretty emotionless about the whole affair actually) and his only hope is this little gang of kids to help him get home to his crew and avoid the evil men out to get him!
Yes! We cover all the bases here and even have a wild n’ crazy Bigfoot themed “battle of the bands” to really get you in the mood for some Sasquatch action! We also cover some movies we’ve been watching on our own time that we think you need to check out and soooo much more cinematic brain candy to make your mind melt like a Halloween Hershey’s bar! Check out the latest episode of MOVIE MELT RIGHT HERE!!!
Forgotten Halloween Gems: Brad “CHUCKY” Dourif Astral Projects in THE HAZING!
Over the years I’ve always wondered what Brad Dourif was up to in the early 2000s in between his stints as the horror icon Chucky-well this year I can tell you in 2004 he was in a largely overlooked and forgotten Halloween themed gem called THE HAZING from 2004. Believe it or not the 2000s had some under looked horror gems and this one’s ripe for the season. Released on VHS as ‘Dead Scared’ we’ve got a flick here that’s in need of a bigger cult following and a fancy pants blu ray release as well. It’s got all the right spooky moves and is the perfect party monster mash up. From director Rolfe Kanefsky who also is known in die hard horror circles for his cult classic ‘There’s Nothing Out There’ from 1991 and his weird erotic 90’s software films, this appears to likely be his only “other cool” horror film.
Taking place on Halloween we have the spooky tale of a deranged college professor played by none other than ‘Chucky’ himself Brad Dourif. He’s a weirdo who loves to dabble in occult black magic with his cursed demonic book and brutally murder hot women who are essentially throwing themselves all over him and keep their dead bodies in his basement dungeon! What gives Brad?! You just don’t know when you got it so good as an old geezer! Anyway as he’s doing what he apparently loves to do on his downtime, a Frat & Sorority are conducting their annual Halloween “hazing” ritual where in costume, they’ve got to go on a weird wild goose chase for some strange objects and one of the items is a book similar to the one Brad uses. Can you see where this is going?
Things get off to an innocent start, until one pair of “hazee’s” decide to break into Professor Brad’s house to find the book-there they stumble upon him down in his dungeon of terror, get into a scuffle and nearly kill him by pushing him onto a taxidermy animal horn. They flee the scene with his cursed book thinking they won’t get caught and head over to complete “the hazing” at a spooky mansion where the frat bros and sisters are waiting to scare them. One BIG problem-Brad Dourif isn’t dead, but in some sort of coma as the police rush him to the hospital. There in his altered states he astral projects and possesses the college kids and traps them inside the mansion where he can open a gate to hell and steal their souls!!
There’s a ton of Halloween themed fun here, great atmosphere, some well done but cheezy practical fx, likable characters and some pretty good scares too. Brad legitimizes the whole affair, the guy to his credit never phones in a damn performance. Yeah Brad shines as the creepy villain and when his astral body possesses the guys AND the gals their face via some nifty make up fx look just him in his more advanced age.
It’s a highly amusing aspect of the movie and the film most definitely draws it’s frenetic energy more the the 1980s than the early 2000s. Brad’s definitely one of the main attractions here and the other being “scream queen” Tiffany Shepis’ butt!! I’m sorry I HAD to say it and I’m not trying to be pervy but (no pun intended) I watched it with a group of guys and gals and at the end of the movie they all brought up the elephant in the room-how awe inducing her butt was-trust me if you watch ‘The Hazing’ you’ll know EXACTLY what I’m talking about!
Anyway enough about that. The Hazing was a great little surprise with plenty of the season’s spooky cheer. The 2000’s seems to get shit on a lot for it’s horror films but there are actually quite a few solid gems out there and The Hazing has joined the ranks as one of the good ones. If you took Night of the Demon, Hell Night and the Evil Dead 2 and put them all in a blender in the Y2K era you’d end up with this little obscurity. Not quite as iconic as all of those by themselves but a decent blend filled with lots of creepy halloween atmosphere, hot babes, some surprising twists and some gooey fx.
Plus the characters here don’t fall prey to the normal tropes, IE the nerdy asian guy & the “blonde bimbo” played by Nectar Rose aren’t playing by the somewhat tired stereotypical horror rules that came before in the 1980s and 90s. So if you’re looking for HALLOWEEN themed horror from an era that’s not quite as pretentious as most of today’s horror films you just can’t go wrong with The Hazing!
Forgotten Halloween Gems: ‘HELLBENT’ Was The First Gay Slasher?!
I’ve been looking for some different films to watch this Halloween season-We’re now over halfway through October and for me it’s all about “Halloween themed” horror! But this year I’m feeling a lot more like branching out than ever before & watching some of those usual traditional flicks can get a little bit boring each & every year in my opinion. So if you’re feeling like I am & looking for something worth a real watch then you’ve come to the right place I’m going to throw a few gems your way that take place on Halloween! Well back in 2004 “the first gay slasher” was released and largely ignored by the horror community, HELLBENT lives up to the tag line and also takes place on Halloween night! Not only that but it’s a pretty damn solid slasher with unique, likeable characters and some good suspense to keep your heart a’ poundin’.
The only totally gay horror flick of its kind I’ve ever seen, (I guess there might’ve been another one similar on Hulu a couple years back called ‘Into the Dark: Midnight Kiss’ that sort of had this same vibe?) Hellbent though was way ahead of the curve, coming out of the closet almost 20 years ago now, making a purely gay horror movie that during the time was pushing the boundaries of what you might see in your local video store (remember those?). I don’t think the characters here act like the gay stereotypes we’ve seen in most films, instead the director wanted to insert slasher movie character/victim tropes of the 70s, 80s and 90s. So what we kind of get here is more of the “traditional slasher” characters but given the gay twist. In some ways the characters end up feeling almost like they were plucked right out of ‘American Pie’, I’d say the best factor of this movie is just how endearing the characters are. Most slasher films of the past and especially the present feature a lot of people who you might sorta hope die at the hands of the psychotic sicko because they’re just so damn annoying. Not the case here, I really didn’t want to see ANY of them die and that’s a big part of what makes a good horror film so much more engaging, the suspense and the wonder of who, if anyone at all is going to survive.
Back to my “American Pie” comparison, ‘Hellbent’ does feature a gang of pretty hilarious horny gay guys going out on the town during Halloween night, headed off to a wild pride costume party, with fore-knowledge of a vicious serial killer on the loose who’s already murdered two hunky gay men. The main slasher villain is pretty imposing, he’s basically built like Arnold Schwarzenegger, wears a red devil mask, no shirt and carries a sharp sickle that he uses to decapitate his prey. In other words he’s an evil silent force to be reckoned with and his motives are never quite clear-but it’s implied he might be repressed and mentally deranged. It’s anyones guess!
‘Hellbent’ has also got a lot of solid locations for a horror movie as well, some taking place in the midst of the party, a heavily wooded foggy park and some of the most vicious scenes right on the dance floor. There’s plenty of Halloween decor to absorb as well as some creepy misty atmosphere, despite the fact the film was shot on digital video which can at times be a bit shoddy looking and at other times quite fantastic, you can clearly tell that the director put a lot of passion trying to give it just the right vibe. Sadly some of it’s scenes can look a bit inconsistent in presentation-maybe a clean blu ray restoration could clear that all up? That would be nice.
So does this slasher deliver the the gory kills? While it’s not a total bloodbath, there are enough ghastly kills too keep you on the edge of your seat, covering your eyes and I’ll go as far to say this is one of the best slasher films I’ve seen of the 2000’s Y2K era. But it’s all not just blood-and-guts as there’s plenty of well delivered comedy and even a surprising amount of romance in the air for this gang of wild and crazy dudes. As you might expect, not everyone makes it out of the predicament alive and it’s tension rises as you try to figure out who’ll be the last to survive this grizzly Halloween night party massacre!
I’ve never quite seen a horror movie quite like it, you’d think in 2023 this sort of concept would be all the rage. But this one doesn’t make a giant deal out of the fact that our main characters are all gay, instead they just happen to be gay and put into an extremely tense situation. Hellbent also doesn’t preach to the audience or bring up tired tropes about aids or even dabble in homophobia, it rather showcases a sweeter side of being gay and having cool friends to hang out out and party with…
It’s not trying to lecture you either, like a lot of films currently seem to feel the need to try to do, it’s just trying to give you a good Halloween horror adventure with characters to root for- just like many of the great slasher films of the iconic 80’s era. This one deserves a lot more love and I’m certain it’s bound to soon be discovered again by a new generation of horror fans and build a firm cult following.
Back in 2004 it played the gay & lesbian film festival circuit and was released on dvd by TLA Releasing, a global leader in LGBTQ films. It’s been disputed if it’s indeed actually the first gay slasher film-but hey that’s how they marketed it. So If you’re looking for something different this year like I am, you can’t go wrong with this cool little indie queer horror fright film- It’s full of plenty of tricks and treats standing on its own as a good example of how to celebrate diversity in horror in a refreshing way….
MOVIE MELT Podcast: Sensei Kreese is the Real HERO and also the ‘JUDGE & JURY’!!
First & foremost, I am one of the BIGGEST ‘Karate Kid’ fans on the PLANET! Hence that means I’m a HUGE damn fan of Martin Kove AKA Sensei Kreese-so imagine discovering that Kove starred in a weird action/horror hybrid flick called ‘JUDGE & JURY’ from 1996 was quite exciting for my lizard brain! Better yet Martin Kove isn’t the villain, nope he’s the god-damn hero finally and it’s a also plays on the horror trope of “evil death row inmate who can’t be killed in the electric chair and comes back for vengeance with supernatural powers” -YES! Look at this crap-tastic VHS cover too- is it really any wonder why it’s not a well know film?!
This falls into the whole “Shocker/Horror Show/Prison” genre but with almost a “Lifetime channel” film vibe mixed with huge explosions, car chases and supernatural shenanigans a’plenty. Well now all of you Cobra Kai fanatics can get the full scoop on this odd little forgotten 90’s gem that IMO deserves a lot more love and attention (not to mention a sweet long overdue blu ray) on the newest episode of MOVIE MELT! We cover all the details of this bizarre film, talk plenty about Martin Kove’s career & also for some reason get stuck in a wild hamster wheel of discussing the hottest, sexiest primate on the damn planet: SHABANI!! Have you heard about this handsome model-esque real life gorilla model? HOTT as HELL!
Ok well there’s also a “battle of the bands” and soooo much more ridiculous cinematic brain numbing nonsense you likely need to fill your head with- we discuss RIGHT HERE! Check this shit out….And Martin Kove if you’re listening (I know you often read the blog still) pleeeez call the Movie Melt hotline to let us know what you think about our intense feels about JUDGE & JURY!! Even if you’re not Mr. Kove call us at this number (724) 246-4669 we promise no one will answer!!! Listen to MOVIE MELT RIGHT HERE!
Wisconsin’s Lost 80’s SOV Teen Horror Tale: THE BOY’S NIGHT OUT Coming Soon On VHS?!!
I’m super excited to announce something very special to me that’ll be finally be seen by the public! THE BOY’S NIGHT OUT is a 30-minute “supernatural slasher” horror film that my friends and I shot on video with a camcorder in Wisconsin waaaaaay back in 1989! I’ve been holding on to the VHS copy of the tape for 34 years, the raw footage was essentially a loose story that we tried to our best to cobble together with no re-shot scenes, in “one take” chronological order. Hey, I know that of course isn’t a great way to film a movie-but we didn’t have editing apps or cellphone tech of today to do it all-this was the REAL deal. To make things even more difficult in our film making endeavor, a few of the “key dialogue” scenes were accidentally shot with NO sound (we were sooo bummed!) and many of the scenes needed a big volume boost as well as a music score. The film’s music was recorded by the camcorder, with a boombox being played next to it (we used the Halloween 5 soundtrack) and the “special fx” sounds done by teenagers snapping sticks etc in close vicinity. This was indeed a HIGH quality production!
That also doesn’t mean the sound fx dudes always did their job and there were always a few scenes where we wish we’d have tried a second take. But for a bunch of teens in the midwest back in the 80s we made it work and it was still a project to remember for life. Well flash forward to present times, for years I’d alway thought about how awesome it’d be to edit the movie for real, especially since there seems to be a new appreciation for shot on video relics. So after reviewing the footage again it was clear that some changes were needed to shape the narrative of the story. So I wrote a new “script” to our old story that my friend John Kundinger and I came up with back then. I got some of the original cast members to lend their voices to fill in the gaps where the camcorder failed to record dialogue and we even added some new dialogue to round out the plot points but never erasing any of the the original lines that were clear and audible.
The problem was, back in the summer of 1989 we didn’t have any way of editing footage and to make it cohesive everything had to be put in the exact order on the first take of filming each scene. If this didn’t happen the story just wouldn’t flow so we did our best to plan it all out every time the record button was pressed. Since the 80s only a handful of people saw the movie. That being said we did have a “premiere”, a one time showing in class at Neenah High School in Wisconsin. The teacher was kind enough to let us show it during class to my fellow classmates and pulled up that big TV/VCR from the AV department into the classroom. Quite a big deal to us at least! Of course we had to explain a few key scenes to everyone while the movie played due to sound issues etc. Despite that, the class loved it and it was a pretty great day at school in 1989 that I’ll never forget! There were even a few fx shots that had the class in awe….ahhh the 80s….
So here I am 30 plus years later, I just got a new laptop and finally got that classic footage uploaded to ensure my lone VHS copy of the movie lived on. Then my friend who runs ‘Black VVideo‘ (a Portland, OR movie label that specializes in unearthing long lost movie relics specifically on VHS) encouraged me to try to give the film the edit or let’s now say a “director’s cut”. I followed her advice and finally I think was able to give the film’s story more of the original narrative we were trying to convey, even adding a little extra to mix this past summer when I’d luckily gotten my hands on a real life camcorder. I’d also gave it an improved soundtrack where music was missing (yeah there’s still the original ‘Halloween 5’ cassette score in the scenes, recorded directly from the boombox positioned next to the camcorder), but now there’s a few local punk/metal bands from the Fox Valley area in the movie’s mix (from demo tapes of that era) and an additional synth score added where needed that a couple of my friends here in Portland provided. This little film obviously isn’t the greatest SOV horror flick, but it is a time capsule of 80s teenage life in the midwest and working on it really brought me back to simpler times. But I’ll never forget it because we caught it ALL on tape!
“Shot in 1989 with a camcorder on VHS in the Fox Valley, Wisconsin. ‘The Boys Night Out’ follows a group of mischievous teen bullies whose plans to “eliminate” two nerds during the final weekend of summer takes a dark unexpected turn. Can they survive to see their junior year of high school begin on Monday? Or will they fall prey to the vengeful supernatural forces they’ve somehow awoken? It’s anyones guess in this coming of age tale of betrayal, murder & retribution.”
That’s ‘The Boys Night Out’ in a nutshell and it’s coming soon on VHS from Black VVideo & Hollywood Babylon Home Video-so pull out your VCR from the attic and dust it off-I’ve got an old school authentic midwestern horror relic from 80’s that’s coming your way soon on VHS! Stay TUNED!
Universal Dork 