Universal Dork

The Most Unsuccessful Blog on the 'Net Since 2009!

recent posts

about

  • The Invaders Join Captain America Movie Cast!!!

    I have been saying for quite a while here that I’ve been hoping for some real concrete news on the Captain America movie and finally some has arrived! This is what I have heard so far. First, as we all guessed it’s been confirmed, according to Ain’t it Cool News that The Red Skull will indeed be the villain (duh) and I assume Hitler will be chumming around with him too. Secondly they’re supposedly they are going to make Cap’s costume a bit more like it was in the earlier days I’m guessing like something between the The Ultimates 40’s Cap and current days non Bucky Cap.

    Third and most exciting of the news is that Captain America will be joined on the big screen by The Invaders!! (more…)

  • Bill Murray Confirms He’s Dead!!

    I just read some great news about Ghostbusters 3! Bill Murray has finally confirmed what many people thought was simply a rumour being spread by Sigouney Weaver. After her recent interview where she apparently spilled the beans on Murray indeed being in the third installment and even more strange appearing in the movie as a ghost! Almost immediately after that she took back those comments and suddenly started saying she’d never even read the script! What a flake huh?! So up until now people have really been wondering if Murray was even going to appear in the third film at all. There have been many times Murray admits that he’s really not all that pumped by the idea of a third flick. Good thing he got over it because I am pumped!

    He just now confirmed the “rumours” that Sigourney was spreading. (more…)

  • Impossibly Stupid Dialogue With The Impossible Man!!

    Ok I admit it I just can’t seem to get enough of these 70’s Fantastic Four cartoons! They are so badly written that it has quickly become one of the most funny Tv shows I’ve ever seen! This episode features the Impossible Man who’s kinda stupid anyway but this takes him to a whole new level of lame!

    Check out the beginning dialogue alone he has with the extremely brain dead bank robbers is some of the best I’ve heard in a long time. This one is already Rivaling The Menace of Magneto episode. This again is a shortened version I’d love to see it in it’s entirety. Check this out if you dare!!

  • Planet Hulk: much better in the comics….

    I am thrilled by the fact that Marvel and DC are releasing old school animation feature films! It’s nice that they have decided to keep that style alive and even try to recreate current comic books arcs into mini movies. The reality to this however is that they really aren’t doing the stories too much justice. Which seems to be the case again with Marvel’s newest animated movie that was released this last tuesday: Planet Hulk.

    First off  I must say that aside from the Hulk vs. Wolverine cartoon (which was pretty amazing) most of their animated efforts have been pretty uninspiring. The animation really is not much better than a saturday morning cartoon. (more…)

  • Brilliant Comedy from Doctor Doom!

    Well yesterday was my birthday and last night I got pretty hammered so today my brain isn’t really working too well. But anyway probably the best thing I could have done was watch The Menace of Magneto episode from the 70’s Fantastic Four Series at the end of the night completely hammered while eating Taco Bell. Yeah not such a healthy night but it was fun! The cartoon delivers the goods everytime. I posted a blog of here about it a while back. I have never seen a cartoon that makes me laugh that hard while trying to take itself seriously. So it got me thinking today that need to find all of these episodes! I mean is it possible that the others are just as hilarious??? Well I found some clips on Youtube that just have to be seen to be believed! The best thing about it is it’s the same guy doing the voice of Doctor Doom that did the mentally challenged Magneto from the other brilliant epsiode! Yeah Doctor Doom like Magneto has to tell you everything that he’s doing as he’s doing it! I am going to comb ebay so I can get the full version of this one if it’s out there on vhs. Check this shit out!!

  • MARILYN MANSON LANDS A PLANE; Or, TURBULENCE 3—HEAVY METAL

    Prequels, like good taste, are often not required for viewing sequels. DEATH WISH 3? Perfect example. Relishing in Bronson’s unhinged scum-stomping rampages requires no getting-to-know-ya handshake. TURBULENCE 3-HEAVY METAL also requires no teaser. Just, maybe a chaser? 

    The premise is pure support for the subtitle pun “heavy metal”. Self-proclaimed antichrist rock star Slade Craven has decided to film his final concert en route a pastel-upholstered, pretzel-lobbing airplane (which transcends any definition of metal that I can think of). But not all is rosy in hell. Rutger (BLADE RUNNER) Hauer, with a notably larger face, plays a devil worshipping pilot and believes Slade Craven is the “fake messiah”. He and globby-eyed VJ (top model Monika Schnarre) think Craven’s party should be crashed into a church in Oklahoma. This opens the seventh gateway to hell, unleashing the true satan.

    (OK, I’ve seen THE BEYOND and thought this hellgate was in Louisiana?!) (more…)

  • Captain America’s starting to get thawed out!

    I found a little info today on the upcoming Captain America movie and it’s sounding pretty good. It seems there’s going to be alot of news on it coming since director Joe Jonston is finished with the Wolfman. I honestly just wanna know who the hell is going to play Cap already! But early news on the films direction is pretty awesome and from what I understand the director wants a more Indiana Jones vibe to the movie set in the 1940’s. I am thrilled with that decision! Bring on the adventure and kick some Nazi ass! Here’s what the the director revealed recently via Box Office:

    “It’s not going to be a Captain America that you expect. It’s something different. (more…)

  • Anime Wolverine? NO thanks!

    I must say I just saw the worst version of Wolverine ever! It’s anime Wolverine from the upcoming animated Marvel japanese feature due out this year! I actually thought that nothing could top the crappy-ass version we got of Wolverine in his solo flick until now. Now I’ve not actually seen anything other than this trailer and I’m willing to give it a fair shot but really this was the BEST they could come up with?? Lancer from Robotech with some claws???!! Check it out for yourself maybe I’m just totally crazy here but I seen some manga versions of Wolverine that looked pretty damn rad. So what gives here?

     Why give Wolvie the worst hair-do of all time?? And what the hell, is Wolverine now anorexic? I am also not entirely but is Wolverine now a woman? Oh well at least they gave him claws!

    (more…)

  • Bring Back the GIANT Treasury Editions!

    When I was a kid there was really nothing that was more cool than a brand new comic book except one thing: A Treasury Edition comic book! What are those? You don’t remember the Treasury Editions?!! Well let me refresh your memory. They were basically gigantic versions of your favorite comic books sometimes three or more stories and sometimes more than one title per book! These Treasury Editions were huge measuring ( I am actually measuring one of mine right now!)  13 & 1/2 x 10 inches and having 80 advertisement free pages! These were very popular in the 70’s but seemed to fizzle out in the 80’s. Sometimes the issues would have brand new covers and the back cover was always specifically drawn for the treasury edition which was essentially like a poster!

    These were just as rad as any toy and I remember carrying around my stack of these pretty much everywhere I went being the envy of any kid that saw me! (more…)

  • That’s Solomon Kane NOT Van Helsing!

    I am a total sucker for fantasy films. I simply do not believe enough good or even bad fantasy movies have been put out for our viewing pleasure! So naturally I am most pumped for The Hobbit, can’t WAIT for Clash of the Titans, excited about Conan even though I am not too thrilled at their choice of Jason Momoa and actually pretty darn keen on Solomon Kane! So until The Hobbit hits theaters I’m gonna have to take what I can get! So far it looks as if Solomon Kane is going to be a fun fantasy flick at the very least. I am pretty easy to please in the fantasy department, I mean I even enjoyed Van Helsing for cryin’ out loud! Does that totally destroy any cred I may have had?? I have to say though he does kinda look like Van Helsing huh?

    Well Solomon Kane was created by none other than Robert E. Howard (Conan the Barbarian) which obviously means gritty tales of high adventure and plenty of monsters. (more…)