Universal Dork

The Most Unsuccessful Blog on the 'Net Since 2009!

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  • Get Ready To Dig Up the Hatchet!

    If you didn’t already know this Hatchet was one of the best horror flicks of 2006. It got critical acclaim from nearly every horror website (almost a little overboard though if you ask me) and it’s villain Victor Crowley has been compared to such icons as Freddy Krueger  and Michael Myers. Now I’m not sure he deserves that much praise yet but the film’s director Adam Green sure deserves props for casting Friday the 13th’s Kane Hodder(Jason) as the big deformed Hillbilly.

     As mush as I dug the first Hatchet I can’t say it had too much in the originality category, it’s story was pretty standard but it had one thing going for it-great old school gore (more…)

  • Hasselhoff’d Nick Fury Remembered!!

    Could it be that I just blocked this incredible peice of tv cinema from my memory?? Is it possible that I have never seen the David Hasselhoff “Nick Fury” movie before?? Yes. Apparently the Nick Fury movie came out in 1998 and was made for tv-perhaps my mind just refused at the time to register this? Well whatever the case I need to check this out as soon as possible!

     From this lengthy trailer it appear that this one could be a real golden turd! I mean how could this one have slipped under the radar for so many years?? Well truth be told here I kinda dig Hoff in the role-at least appearance-wise.

     Anyway I am off to ebay to find this one and hopefully it will live up to all of my expectations as bad movie GOLD….. 

  • A Sneak Peek at Cap’s Costume!

    Today at TMT I saw a glimpse of what the costume of Captain America will look like in the new movie! Now keep in mind this picture is of a stuntman on a motorcycle-NOT Chris Evans! So if the suit looks a little clunky and weird that’s why. So far I like what I am seeing-even from the stuntman’s costume I can tell they have taken it in the right direction.

    The simple fact that the first movie is based on his origin during World War II is incredibly exciting. The fact it has been described as being very Indiana Jones-esque too is music too my ears. The fact that he’ll be fighting a bunch of fucked of Nazi’s too is even better news-because what better villains are there really than a bunch of crazy Nazi’s getting an ass whoopin’? (more…)

  • Brotha!!!!

    Even though Lost is over and done with we can still remember it’s best moments forever. One of my fav characters was of course Desmond and yeah, throughout the show’s run my friends and I would always laugh at his lingo, most particularly his constant over use of the word “brotha”. Now if you are a Lost fan you all know what I’m talking about, but incase you need a reminder of just how god damn often he said it take a look at this “Brotha” compilation for youself!!

  • A Labor Day Break With the Warrior!!!

    What better way to get your Labor Day all pumped up than listening to a little shit talk from the god damn Ultimate Warrior! So yeah before you head out for a little fun let’s once again here at Universal Dork give the Warrior a little moment of our time to get us hyped for the festivities….

  • George Romero Blows & So Does Peter Vincent!!

    Ok here’s the deal. Last night I finally decided to give George Romero’s “Survival Of The Dead” a chance as it was just released on dvd. You hear that? I finally decided to give the NEW Romero Zombie flick a chance! Ten years ago saying that would have meant I was completely crazy as imagining a new zombie movie from him back then being released would have been a gift from god. I was less than impressed with his last two movie quite honestly and this one seals the deal for me for good. I just don’t give a shit about new Romero movies. I actually got more enjoyment from the latest Direct to dvd Kevin Costner horror movie!

     I can tell you honestly I didn’t even finish the movie. I am putting my foot down and refusing to watch anymore zombie  movies with shitty cg bood and gore. Especially one made by George. Believe me this one’s got cg gore galore-it’s effects look like they came straight out of the first Resident Evil game! (more…)

  • More Norwegian Trolls Please!

    Ever since I was a little kid I have had a fascination with Ny Form Trolls! No not the weird mongoloid looking  ones with the neon hair, the bad ass ones from Norway! Ny Forms  also have “real” hair as well but these ones look the way trolls were meant to. These amazing little sculptures hit the scene in 1964.

    Here’s the history of how they came to be via the Trollshop.net:

    “Somewhere in the middle of Norway, you will find a small and sparsely

    populated mountain village called Tynset. It is located at the foot of a

    five thousand feet high mountain (more…)

  • The Walking Dead Trailer Arrives!!

    Ok so here’s the moment I have been waiting for quite some time to finally see some of the upcoming scenes from The Walking Dead television series debuting this coming October!

    The comic series continues to be the best monthly title out there-with enough suspense, gore and drama to give you a coronary!! The trailer looks fantastic so far-however I am extremely surprised that they kept the 28 Days Later style beginning as that is the only thing that ever really bothered me about the comic.  So enough of my preachy blabblin’ to the choir! Let’s finally take a first look at this hopefully wonderful series that is destined to be a classic!!  

  • Busey Teaches Us About Being a Man…

    I watched the awesome 90’s action flick “Surviving the Game” again recently and decided that everyone needed a little lesson in life from none other than our favorite Gary Busey. Listen and learn a little something about being a man as he flips out in this clip and schools Ice-T on the topic of manhood! This is classic…

  • Bringing back those 80’s Zombies!!

    I was pretty pumped to see the brand new Deadworld Classic trade paperback at the comic book shop recently. Wait, you never heard of Deadworld? Well if not I highly suggest that if you are indeed a true zombie fanatic you best be getting your ass down to the local comic book shop immediately to pic up this trade! It’s been called the best zombie comic by critics and at least can be safely called the first.

    This cult 80’s comic also features the amazing Vince Locke as the artist for the first 8 issues. Some of the covers for this book are still some of the best zombie images I have ever seen. The crazy thing about it was that Vince was only in his teens when he started illustrating this comic. He went on to illustrate the amazing “A History of Violence” which was later made into  a big time motion picture (more…)