Universal Dork

The Most Unsuccessful Blog on the 'Net Since 2009!

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  • Splice Sex Scene Whatta Laugh…

    So I just watched Splice last night you all know the movie with Adrien Brody and Sarah Polley finally. I just wanted to take a moment to say that the movie wasn’t that good, it had some shitty ass as usual CG and it had a totally stupid plot twist of Adrien Brody getting it on with the lil’ Monster with the CG legs. I know this is old news but hey, but it WAS just released on dvd & I don’t make it to the theaters much lately as I am trying to save money (hint hint-when am I gonna get some free movie passes or something from doing this site?!).

    I just wanted to say that the fact that Broder suddenly wants to fuck the little monster they have been raising was just pretty damn lame-I know, it’s supposed to be super edgy right-cuz it’s a monster and Broder is all hot stuff and is all real kinky cuz it’s a monster! Oh yeah though she’s kinda sexy right? It’s just sooooo damn edgy!!? They did have alot of hot on screen chemistry right-Broder and the monster? NO!!! blah blah blah….what a dumb movie. Sorry folks not much else I can say here-if you wanna get a real shock check out the Masters of Horror episode directed by Dario Argento called “Jenifer” and skip this turd!

  • World’s Greatest Puppet Themed Music Videos! Part 3!

    Ok so here’s a quickie today once again dealing with puppets in music videos! Today we’ll be checking out Supergrass’ “Pumping on Your Stereo” which features some pretty fucked up puppet horseplay! It’s not a half bad song either-but once again adding the whole puppet angle into the mix makes this track rock that much harder! More to come and if you got any good puppet themed vids in mind please send them my way!!!

  • PLEASE Reboot The League of Extraordinary Gentleman!!

    It’s funny but sometimes there are certain movies I actually want to be remake or in this case rebooted. The movie at hand here is The League of Extraordinary Gentleman and if you have seen this steaming pile of shit of a movie from 2003 then you know exactly why I am starting the campaign right here at Universal Dork to get this rebooted and done the right way! So it would seem kinda weird huh since the movie was released a mere seven years ago right? Well think about how fast The Incredible Hulk was rebooted, now Spider-man and the Fantastic Four. So why not The League? Though the movie was pretty well cast Stephen Norrington still managed to totally fuck it up. God damn they even managed to get Sean Connery cast as Quartermain!

    Did he ever even read the comic book? If so did he just decide to trash it on purpose with an unmemorable, generic pile of Hollywood bull shit dumbed down for the masses? The answer most likely is YES. It’s really no secret that the movie sucked the big one real hard so what I think is that we need a good director say like Zack Snyder to reboot this thing and make it the movie it should have been. It had, like the book, the potential to be a grand adventure  in the same vein as Indiana Jones.

    It also should have retained some of the grit of the original series (more…)

  • The Full TROLL HUNTER Trailer!!

    I have been rantin’ a bit about thei new movie called “The Troll Hunter” just from a few brief images and a short trailer which basically showed no trolls. Well now get ready for the full trailer and see just how rad this movie really looks! With a super original premise I have a feeling this movie is going to be one of my favorites this year-check it out!!

    (more…)

  • Attack of the Killer Chakas!!

    I stumbled upon this movie preview while searching for the trailer for a movie called “Primal” which will be showing soon at the H.P. Lovecraft film festival here in Portland Oregon in October. What I ended up finding was a movie by the same name that looks even better than the one being shown at the festival! Now it seems also that any movie now day that’s got a guy in a furry suit will have to star Lance Henrickson (Abominable, Sasquatch, Sasquatch Mountain)-what gives Lance? Why you so damn obsessed with Bigfoot and Chaka?

     Apparently the movie is now going by the name “The Lost Tribe” and will be released October 19th. From the looks of it it seems that Chaka from Land of the Lost just got seriously pissed off check this out!

      (more…)

  • World’s Greatest Puppet Themed Music Videos! Part 2!

    Ok so here we are again with some more puppet themed videos!! Hell yeah! So here are a couple more music videos that feature some rad puppets-The first up is Interpol’s “Evil”. As I am not a big fan of the band what I can tell you is that I’m a huge fan of that creepy ass puppet they got in their damn video!! See the band just made themselves totally rad by having a cool puppet in their video-see it’s not that hard to make it I tell you if you just rely on the skills of a puppet and ride it’s coat tails all the way to the top!!! check it:

    Ok next up is Weezer’s “Keep Fishin’”. I think we can all kinda agree that Weezer now days just kinda blows and I think Rivers has caught onto that. That’s why he decided to get the mother fucking Muppets into his band’s video! See this a common practice of bands that either aren’t that good or have somehow lost their magic. My simple rule proves true again-add a damn puppet to a music video and suddenly the song rocks ten times harder…

  • Here Come The Avengers!!

    October is going to be a good month for Tv we got The Walking Dead premiering and another rad little cartoon set to be out on the 20th! The Avengers! I must say that so far from the previews that this looks like it’s gonna be a fun little cartoon. I was caught right away when I saw the Wrecker and then later in the preview it looks like an Avengers “Breakout” type storyline is set to happen as well. I pretty excited also for an Avengers line up featuring the Hulk too and glimpses of other classic Avengers making the cut to like the Black Panther is rad.

     It looks like they got the villains to keep them busy too. Supposedly the debut will feature the Avengers up against one of my fav villains ever-Modok! 

      (more…)

  • Flashback: Alpha Flight vs. Wolverine

    Yeah! Here’s a great little clip of one of my favorite super teams animated on the 90’s X-men tv show….

  • World’s Greatest Puppet Themed Music videos!! Part One!

    Ok so I think we can all agree that puppets pretty much rule. Hands down. So I was thinking here at Universal Dork that I’d start doing a little research and find the BEST music videos featuring puppets-because really if you add a damn puppet to a music video it suddenly becomes the shit! Seriously even some songs that otherwise suck get ten times better when a mother fuckin’ puppet pops up in the video. So today I will start it off with a couple of my faves and one of which is an obvious choice for quite possibly best music video featuring puppets! It’s seriously gonna be hard to top the puppetry genious of Genesis’ “Land of Confusion”.

    I have a feeling that it just may be the best puppet themed video of all time-but we’ll really just have to put it to the test as I will sporadically post them over the next two weeks to finally see who reigns supreme as the ultimate musical master of puppets! So stay tuned. First though check out the video I have a feeling no one can touch….

    Pretty fucking genious huh??? If you remember these puppets were originally featured on a popular 80’s tv show called Spitting Image-apparently Phil Collins lost his shit when he saw the tv show the first time and called the creators of the it to ask them to make puppet versions of the whole band. Must be nice to be Phil huh?? 

    Next check out this unique puppet video for the song “Package Thief” from one of my all time fav bands Superchunk!  (more…)

  • Hitler and the King of Pop…

    Let’s take a moment to remember the passing of Michael Jackson. That was a crazy day as many people were sad and just felt downright cheated…especially Adolf Hitler…