Universal Dork

The Most Unsuccessful Blog on the 'Net Since 2009!

recent posts

about

  • He’s Back….Well Kinda…

    Well here you have the return of Arnold, well kinda…here’s the first trailer from his new cartoon series which he created with Stan Lee. It’s called the Governator and yeah it looks pretty god damn lame….check this out…

  • The Best Horror Film of 2011?

    Last night was an epic evening at the theater! You know the kind of experience where afterwards you feel like you hung out at an amusement park for and hour and a half? Yeah it was that fun and worth every penny spent. I have to say I had pretty low expectations for  James Wan’s newest flick “Insidious”. I was not a fan of the Saw franchise, I thought Dead Silence was anything but scary and Death Sentence was hokey as hell.

    So why the hell did I shell out the money for this one? Pure chance..But a chance well taken as I am willing to bet this one is going to be my favorite horror movie of 2011. (more…)

  • Top 5 Action Stars for The Expendables 2!

    So it’s been confirmed that The Expendables 2 is a go and now what everyone is wondering is who is going to be added to this list of action stars for the second time around? Well all you out there in Hollywood take a seat and listen up-here’s who you gotta put in the next movie! Now I’m only adding people from the 80’s to this list-if you take my advice you’ll definately give the people what they were really hoping for out of the first one-big dumb one liners, lots of real explosions and a lot of fun! I have also just recently heard that Bolo Yeung may possibly be appearing in the sequel-and I have to say if so we’re on the right track here-brilliant!!

    1. Chuck Norris – Ok so maybe Chuck is a little old as he just turned 71-but who the hell cares! I am sure he could still throw down a little bit right? Or maybe he could be an evil mastermind or an old wise good guy? I really don’t care just get Walker’s ass in this movie now! Lets not forget how much of a bad ass good ol’ Chuck is!

    2. Michael Dudikoff – Ok did all you guys forget about American Ninja? Avenging Force? Dudikoff was the master action star of the 80’s who’s often forgotten! This guys kicked so much serious ass in the 80’s he deserves another shot in the big leagues-he’s only 56 yeah only 56-that’s almost 10 years younger than Sly!

    (more…)

  • Leave it to Lucas to Suck it up Even More!!

    I am sure everyone has heard about The Phantom Menace arriving in theaters once again soon this time in 3-D? Geez just when we were all about to forget about that mega turd bomb of a film you just knew Lucas was going to find a way to bring that shit back and try and shove the turds down our throats once again! This time he means business too! This time he really wants  you to see just how fucking god damn awful this films was-so he went and made it in 3-D…No this time you will NEVER erase it from your memory!

    

    Apparently he’s trying to get interest in the Star Wars merchandise again, um Lucas do you really need yet another paycheck for this shit? How can you sleep at night? He also said he wants to bring it to a younger audience, attempting to infect young minds with this wretched steaming pile! Well brace yourself once again for a good long look at some of the WORST acting and the WORST big budget CG money can buy….

  • New Cap Trailer Arrives!

    Check out this brand new trailer for the upcoming Captain America movie that was released today! So far it’s still looking to me as this one is set to be the best Marvel movie yet! Still however no hint of the Invaders who are rumored to be fighting along side Cap as well-I’ve got my fingers crossed though still. Also no images of Bucky in uniform-they better not flake! Anyway check it out-it’s looking damn good..

  • Roy Batty Goes Homeless!!

    Looks like the buzz has officially been blown off the roof for the the newest Grindhouse flick “Hobo with a Shotgun”! This promising sleez-fest stars everybody’s favorite hitchhikin’ android Rutger Hauer! How can you go wrong really? Well interestingly enough I have thus far heard some really mixed reviews for this flick. Some claim it’s a mega cult classic while others have said it’s got all hype an no delivery-just alot of bad filming and wretchedly lame gore . Well I say-i’ll decide for myself bcause so far this DOES look like a winner-as Hauer has gotta be one of the most menacing men in movie history!

     This one started as a fake trailer in a contest to win a slot to be featured in the Canadian viewing of Tarantino & Rodriguez’s  masterpeice double feature, “Grindhouse”-which was probably the most enjoyable theatrical experience of the last decade! Anyway here’s the trailer-what do you think?

  • The Two Most Annoying Horror Icons Do Battle!

    Ok I just saw this little video recently and just had to post for anyone who may have missed out. Yeah I did a blog here a while back on the incredibly irritating Wishmaster. Yes people he’s so damn annoying it’d be hard to take him seriously if he was terrorizing you! Then There’s Leprechaun-equally annoying especially when he’s in Da’ Hood! Well what would happen if these two losers battled it out? Wonder no more cuz here you have it!!! Enjoy!

     

  • What’s Next for Wolverine?

    I can’t say I didn’t see it coming, today as it was announced that Darren Aronofsky would no longer  be directing “The Wolverine”, a stand alone movie that would have had nothing to do (thank god) with the first Wolverine movie. According to Aronofsky the movie would keep him away from his family for far too long-though many are saying it was due to not having enough creative control over the movie. Either way there you have it-finally something exciting was geared up to go down with the character, something dark and dare I say actually intellectually engaging?

    Well now that Darren is off to do something more artsy I’m sure we’re gearing up to get more of the same bullshit that we got served with that last film…ughhh. I really had high hopes for a dark Wolverine movie done the way the character deserves. Apparently the show will go on with another director with Jackman still set to play Wolverine.

    Now the question is who will they get to take a stab at Wolvie? Your guess is as good as mine, it seems to me it’d better be someone who actually gives a damn and isn’t just trying to serve up another  load of shit to force feed the masses- Chris Nolan, Guillermo de Toro hell I’d even take Zack Snyder! But it seems they’re all busy with other projects….um Bryan Singer we need you now more than ever!! in the mean time check this out-it’s actually a lot better than the last Wolverine movie…not bad for a fun fan boy film actually-maybe we should just give up and give this guy the job…

     

  • World’s Greatest Puppet Themed Music Videos are Back!

    Hey it’s been a while since I posted any new Puppet Themed music vids as I have been trying to prove once and for all that puppets make ANYTHING like 10 times better! Seriously if you are in a band and wanna make a bitchin’ video but can’t think of  anything rad to do in it-worry no further-just put some damn puppets in it and you got yourself  a hit! So here’s yet another video by  Dinosaur Jr covering the cure and yeah it rules and it loaded with puppets! Thus enhancing it’s greatness by at least 10 fold!

  • Comic Book Cover of the Week!

    This weeks cover is one of my faves- Hulk number 5 marks the very first of  appearance of  Tyrannus one  of the Hulk’s most under rated villains! This classic cover beautifully drawn by Jack Kirby shows exactly why he is and will forever be known as quite possibly the best comic book artist of all time. It just doesn’t get any better than this folks!