Universal Dork

The Most Unsuccessful Blog on the 'Net Since 2009!

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  • The New Avengers Trailer! Does it Live Up to the Hype?!

    Just saw the latest trailer for The Avengers movie and It so far looks like a good time. Hopefully it’ll be the best Marvel movie yet, which actually would’t be a difficult accomplishment for Joss Whedon as honestly I can say that the Marvel movies are a good time on their first view, but on repeated viewings really aren’t much to write home about.

    But how can we honestly NOT be excited about an Avengers movie directed by Joss Whedon? So here it is, along with some terrible Godsmack style rock song. We also finally get a glimpse of The “Ruffalo” Hulk and for the record he still looks fake…..

  • How Could it Be? I Just Now Saw “My Science Project”?!

    Yes it’s true I just saw 1985’s “My Science Project” for the first time last week! What?! Maybe you have never seen it either? Well if that’s the case get your booty onto Netflix or wherever you get your movies and rent it now! If you are like me and love 80’s teen comedies packed with a bunch of cool sci-fi and dinosaurs then this is your movie! The basic premise is that Mega Gearhead Michael needs to come up with a science project so he can graduate, only problem all he does with his time is work on cars. So much that his bitchy girlfriend dumps him and he ends up hanging out with the even hotter (yet supposed to be nerdy) Ellie by default. They end up running around in an old military junk yard and stumble up a strange device which Michael decides is going to be what he passes off as his science project. He takes it home and starts messing around with it and it seems to transport things and people to other dimensions.


    Madness ensues and without spoiling the whole movie I will say this, it’s got some great goofy 80’s adventure along the lines of Weird Science or the Goonies. It’s got Dennis Hopper playing the washed out hippie science teacher, crazy neanderthals and an over the top annoying side kick teenage buddy along the lines of Evil Ed from Fright Night. It’s also got cute nerd girls and lots of great 80’s electricity that I love so much. So if you’re a dork for the 80’s check out this one it’s about as perfect as they come, as long as you don’t take it too seriously…..

  • The Caps: A Feel Good 70’s Sitcom Set to Music…

    I recently was given  a complimentary copy of  the new album “Have a Blast”, by Portland Oregon’s “The Caps” and it’s had me smiling ever since the first listen. These guys have been around for just a few years now releasing their second album with a new line up save James Hall the bands original drummer who recently rejoined and singer/guitarist Chris Worth. On “Have a Blast” they are back with eleven of the catchiest pop songs you’re likely to hear in 2011. Like a three way battle between Belle & Sebastian, Superchunk and The Beach Boys dashed with slightly off humor reminiscent of They Might Be Giants, The Caps manage to bring the rock while still maintaining a soft side you could be sipping champagne to while reading back issues of Mad Magazine.

    The songs now, with lead vocals almost evenly split between Worth and new guitarist Andrew Grimaldo, are filled with humor you’re either going to get or quite possibly fly right over your head leaving you wondering if these guys are really taking themselves seriously. A song like “Bike City” could practically be Portland’s anthem here as one of the most bike-centric cities in America (more…)

  • The Newest Worst Song EVER!

    It’s been days since I have heard the sneak peek snippet from the upcoming Lou Reed / Metallica collaboration album titled LULU. I have gotta say WOW….WOW..this could be one of the WORST songs of all time!!! Seriously I would put this track called “The View” up against pretty much any  of the most wretched songs out there and I am certain without a doubt that it would win over and over again! This song makes Rebecca Black’s song “Friday” sound like it should be nominated for a Grammy award!! It’s quite an accomplishment to come up with music this harmful to the ears and brain. Now there is a 90 second clip out there to hear-it doesn’t get any better folks but it is one of the most funny things I have heard in a while-they can’t be serious?

  • Catwoman Further Revealed….

    It seems that a lot of people just weren’t big fans of the first Anne Hathaway Catwoman picture revealed. They Complained her costume was lame and compared it to the Tim Burton Pfeiffer version which I will agree was pretty awesome. If you ask me however the costume for Batman in Nolan’s movie has always kinda bugged me. I just don’t really like the huge bulky kevlar armor thing that’s going on there-but the movies were so well done I was quickly able to get past it. So to me the Hathaway costume is quite acceptable-as we can all agree that at the very least she’s not also running around in a  big black chuncky kevlar hockey suit as well!

    However for me personally I am a bigger fan of Julie Newmar from the original series!!

     

  • Hulk Say Goodbye to Greg Pak! Yippee!

    I have got to say being a HUGE Incredible Hulk fan I have been missing him a in a big way the past couple years. Greg Pak who has spent a half decade on ol’ jade jaws is finally on his way out from the series….and I couldn’t be more thrilled! I was a big fan of his early Hulk stories like Planet Hulk and World War Hulk-awesome stuff! But the past couple years have been horrible, I have tried several times to get into The Incredible Hulks & Hulk (launched by Jeph Loeb) and I just could not do it folks. I am sooooo done with The Red Hulk, The Red She-Hulk, The Incredible Herc, A-bomb and the rest of those lame ass characters that these two titles have produced.

    I just wanted the plain old green Hulk back!! (more…)

  • Sellin’ Beer in 1984 With Jesse The Body Ventura!!

    So it’s 1984, you got a liquor  store and  you live in the Midwest  – how are you gonna beat out your competitors? Well that’s a no brainer  you get Jesse the Body Ventura to endorse your store!! Hell yeah that’s what they did here in this little clip from way back in the day! I gotta say I was always  a fan of Jesse in the WWF and even more so I gotta say today he’s one of the coolest people around. So cool I have been hoping Ventura would run for President in 2012 as it has been rumored because the guy would have my vote in a heartbeat! If you don’t know his political stances check them out on Youtube, if you ain’t interested then just check out how rad he was back in the 80’s as he claims he doesn’t drink beer from a bottle but rather a motherfuckin’ keg!

  • Horny Urban Aliens Attack!

    It’s been a couple weeks since I have posted anything here, I feel like a slacker but sometimes there’s just not anything interesting enough to geek out about! Seriously it can be tough thinking of cool shit to write about every day! However yesterday I had the pleasure of viewing an excellent sci-fi flick on the big screen-Attack the Block is a movie that you need to see in the theater as it easily defeats this summers blockbusters by a long shot.

    If you haven’t heard already this one is produced by the Shaun of the Dead guys and it shows throughout the entire movie, right down to Nick Frost’s role as a slacker pot dealer middle man (more…)

  • The Top 10 Monster Movies of the…..90’s?!

    Simple fact, the 1990’s weren’t the best years for the monster movie, and when you think of monster movies it’s almost always a topic of the 1980’s. So I decided to make a list of the top 10 most bad ass monster flicks of the 90’s figuring there MUST be some gems during that era right? I didn’t add any Vampire movies because well they’re just not “monster enough” though “From Dusk ‘Til Dawn” probably should have been at the top of the list. That being said, believe me folks the pickins’ were pretty damn slim for a monster fanatic like myself in the 90’s-most of the best ones came in 1990 it seemed but still there are a few worth your time if you’ve already tapped out the 70’s and 80’s for your monster fix. Here’s what I came up with, if you think I have left out any gems please by all means enlighten me here…

    10. Castle Freak (1995):

    Here’s a rad more obscure monster flick from the mid 90’s from Re-animator director Stuart Gordan. Yeah the title speaks for itself as the monster in this movie is truly a perverted freak that hangs out in an old castle!

    This one also stars the awesome Jeffery Combs and features a sick twisted monster that bites a lady’s boob off! Gross!! Old school 80’s horror in the 90’s! (more…)

  • How Cool Was Hasbro’s Monster Face?!!

    The year was 1992 and I gotta admit I had taken a break from playing with toys-though I still kept them all (I still have them all to this day) and still went to the comic book shop every week. However when I look back today at some of the early 90’s toys I have to say there were some pretty great ones on the market! One such toy I remember was Hasbro’s “Monster Face”, as I never really stopped watching cartoons I fondly remember this commercial!

    Really monster face was kind of a Fuck You to Mr. Potato head! Back in those days everything was 10 times as rad when you added slime to it-and monster face  oozed some mean ass slime! Seriously had this come out in the mid to even late 80’s I would have been al over that shit-now today I just may have to hunt one down!!