Universal Dork

The Most Unsuccessful Blog on the 'Net Since 2009!

recent posts

about

  • Wolverine’s REAL son needs to come back and show Daken what’s what!!

    The other day I was re-reading the somewhat forgotten Wolverine graphic novel, ‘The Jungle Adventure’, a great solo Wolverine story by Walt Simonson and Mike Mignola.

    In this tale, Wolverine escapes from his recent troubles with the X-Men by hanging out in the Savage Land. Eventually he becomes a pretty prominent member of a native tribe, even fighting Apocalypse in their defense.

    But the real gold is that while there, he fucks a very large woman named Ghack who delivers his son, unbeknownst to him. This little guy’s name is Erista and nobody has given a shit about him since 1990!!

    Here's half his face
    Here's his bangin' mom holding him

    Instead we have this Daken dipshit running around the MU with his ‘tribal tats’ and mohawk, crying to everyone within earshot about his daddy issues. I think the time is now for the return of Erista, savage-land warrior with Wolverine’s blood, to surface in the MU, put Daken out of his misery and stake his claim as the original Wolverine offspring.

    Oh and anyone else out there wondering about Lynx? She was like a daughter to Wolverine and last we saw her, it was 1993 and she was left to fend for herself in the Candian wilderness. Let’s get her back too so she can show X-23 (or Laura or whatever) who’s boss!

  • Wolverine’s claws: the wrong choice!

    A friend of mine just sent me a link to this video and it was pretty awesome! What would you take if given the choice Wolverine’s claws or his healing factor?

  • Best Comedic website: Christwire.org! This just HAS to be a joke!

    So  I was looking for a response to The1frombeyond’s post on gay villains and stumbled upon this website called Christwire.org    and all I can really say about it is WOW. I figure that this site has just GOT to be a joke and if not it would be so much funnier. I think this could be related to the Onion but i’m not sure.

    There is pretty recent post on the site called, “More Proof Marvel and DC “Comics” Promote Homogay Agenda” it’s just got to be read to be beleived. It really tied in with the topics here over the last couple days- plus check this picture out (sooo rad) that came from the article entitled “Marvel Now Pomotes Gay Agenda With Wolverine Toy “!

    blow-up-wolverine-16559-1235996616-34

  • Let’s hear it for the gay villains!!

    So since we’re celebrating the established gay comic book heroes, it’s only fair to take a look at their counterparts, the gay villains. So far we have:

    Electro (Marvel Knights)

    gayelectro

    After doing some hard time and discovering a “new side”, Electro turns down a shape-shifting prostitute in Mark Millar’s Marvel Knights Spiderman title.

    Mystique

    destinyevo

    Chris Claremont had originally planned for Mystique and Destiny to have been lovers. The idea was that Mystique took on the form of a man and fucked Destiny until they made a ‘lil Nightcrawler. Unfortunately, the Comics Code wouldn’t allow such a sordid tale to be published.

    (more…)

  • Northstar: The Only Gay Superhero??? WTF?

    As you may already know I LOVE Alpha Flight!!! It was probably one of the BEST comic books of the 80’s. How can you go wrong with a group of Canadian superheroes who hunted down Wolverine to bring him back as their leader and  in the process went toe to toe with the Uncanny X-Men?! Plus they were created and drawn by John Byrne-quite possibly the BEST (arguably-but he’s my all time fav) artist ever in comic books! Well even though these guys ruled and hung out with a 10 foot tall Sasquatch, they also had something else that catapulted this amazing team of superheroes to legendary status. Northstar-one of the coolest characters in the Marvel Universe and as I understand it the first openly GAY superhero ever.

    northstar_gallery1

    (more…)

  • Deadpool: the ultimate admitted rip-off!!

    Alot of people accuse Rob Liefeld to be somewhat of a hack and almost all of the characters he creates are usually rip offs of existing characters. But to save his soul he did help create one really rad marvel character who has as of recently become insanely popular-Deadpool! So yeah he finally can take claim for something really original and everyone can forget about his famous picture of Captain America sporting gigantic boobs-right? Not so fast. As you may or may not already know Deadpool is an admitted rip-off of DC’s famous villain Deathstroke.

    94flair_deadpool

    (more…)

  • The incredible hulk vs. Superman!!

    When I was a kid there was nothing in the world I loved more than the Incredible Hulk!! I was always pretending to be the Hulk, playing with my Hulk action figures, reading Incredible Hulk comic books, watching the Hulk on tv and drawing pictures of the Hulk!! I remember other kids always telling me that Superman would kick the Hulk’s ass! I disagreed and also was wise enough to know that they couldn’t fight because The Hulk was a Marvel character and Superman was a DC character (later this changed and they did indeed fight a few times-Superman always winning! Damn!). Well that didn’t stop me from making my own comic book cover for this epic battle! I was very young when I drew this picture but as you can see I was pretty accurate with my comic book covers and dammit I wanted to see these two fight! Most of all I wanted to see the Hulk beat that goody two shoes Superman to pulp! As a child I pretty much thought Superman was a big loser! Anyway here’s the epic picture I drew of quite possibly The Hulk and Superman’s first battle!!

    hulkvssuperman

    Apparently for some reason I thought DC comics stood for Delly Comics. Weird.

  • Greatest Fantasy themed music videos!! Amon Amarth gets epic.

    Wow! Finding Rad fantasy themed music videos is easier than I imagined!! Check out this amazing video from Amon Amarth! It’s soooo epic and the song is amazing as well….

  • World’s Greatest fantasy music videos! Blind guardian in a video game!!!

    Yeah Blind Guardian is one of the BEST metal bands EVER. If you don’t already know who this rad band is you need to go out and buy their stuff! They’ve been around since the 80’s and have only gotten better in time!! Well they appeared at the 2008 Comic Con to promote the new video game “Sacred 2”. Their music is featured in the video game and the band themselves are also. Anyway I though this was a cool video trailer for the game and most of all thought the new song they wrote for the game was pretty amazing as well….

  • World’s greatest fantasy music videos!! Queen!!!

    So all this talk yesterday about Tom Hanks LARPING and this weekends return to my D&D adventure(we’ve had like a 3-week hiatus!) has got me thinking about what the BEST fantasy music videos of all time are! They have to have swords & scorcery in them and they have to be real music videos that the band made. So first up is none other than Queen with the theme song from Highlander “Princes of the Universe”!! Enjoy!! If you know of any let me know!