Universal Dork

The Most Unsuccessful Blog on the 'Net Since 2009!

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  • The Pirates of the Caribbean 4 Wasn’t THAT Bad!

    So I finally got around to seeing the latest Pirates of the Caribbean movie “On Stranger Tides”, the fourth installment to the ridiculously popular Disney franchise. I know what you’re thinkin’, does this movie really need  any more hype?  Probably not, but I waited on seeing this one a little longer than I’d originally planned because of all the awful reviews I have seen that the critics gave. I was initially going to see it opening weekend as I really do like the previous films. The first one was awesome while the second and the third were just pure popcorn. So what gives with this new film? Well to be honest it didn’t really seem different than the previous films as far as quality goes. I have to say as far as sequels go it was at least as good as the  second and third films if not maybe even dare I say…..a bit better?!

    There were a few things I liked better this time around than in the previous Pirates, one being the absence of Bloom and Knightley! Thank god that those two characters were axed from the fourth film! Them returning in the previous sequels was simply just too much extra bland, boring baggage-I mean  we all spent a LOT of screen time on their lame sub plot  snooze fest  romance story in the first three films…it was nice to  have a  story that really revolved around pirates.

    Also it felt a bit more like the first flick as the  story and  effects were much more  simple, stream lined and focused. The last two movies crammed way too much shit down your throat. From tired sub plots, to cg infested imagery and characters, the last two movies at the end of the day felt like a big sloppy mess. Don’t get me wrong they were a fun mess-kinda like eating a sloppy joe that’s just too big.

    This installment much like the first kept the supernatural elements much more subdued. You basically get mermaids, the fountain of youth, high adventure and a lot of pirates. It seems though that the critics really love to dissect movies like this. Why?!  Does anyone take these films seriously? They all have sub par acting and outrageous story lines. They are pure popcorn flicks at best and they are probably the best of  the cheezy summer blockbusters. Let’s all not forget either that they’re based on a damn ride at Disney World for cryin’ out loud! So to set the record straight I think this newest film was a real fun time at the movies, better than what I was expecting and a welcome chapter in the saga of Sparrow and the Pirates of the Caribbean…..I’ll be back on deck for a fifth!

  • Obscure Super Hero Movies! Jack Tripper Kicks ASS!

    Yeah! What a great discovery made today in the world of obscure super hero movies! “Hero at Large” is now the number one movie I’m trackin’ down upon my first viewing of the the trailer-it features one of my favorite people ever-John Ritter AKA Jack Tripper!!!

    Yeah straight out of Three’s Company the late great Ritter apparently starred in this incredible looking zany real life super hero flick! (more…)

  • Ditch the Hero and Get With The Zero Boys!

    I just recently was able to see yet another great 1980’s horror movie that I had never seen before! These are really great moments for a person like myself who really thrives on a great 80’s flick that delivers the goods! Better yet is seeing one that somehow slipped through my hands up until now. This most recent movie is The Zero Boys way back from 1986.

    To say this is a flat out horror movie just isn’t fair as it’s taking equal parts from 80’s action movies like Rambo and blending it all together into one fun mess of a schlocky good movie! (more…)

  • Where the F@#k is Puck?!

    So I just got done reading the brand new Alpha Flight 0.1 and it was a pretty nice re-introduction to the original team! It had some real great artwork by Ben Oliver and Dan Green and a great cover which brought back memories of John Byrne. What really would have been great would have been if they could have actually got Byrne to draw this new series(check out the amazing pick below by Byrne). So far so good here as we get a pretty interesting idea of some sort of political turmoil in Canada as their elections are about to begin and a new party called Unity is revealed. I am assuming that Unity leader must win the election and somehow turn the country against Alpha Flight? We’ll see I guess!

    Anyway the whole  resurrected cast is here, well sorta… (more…)

  • Comic Book Cover of the Week!

    I don’t know how many times I have to say it but I LOVE the Hulk!! This weeks comic book cover of the week is way back from Incredible Hulk #212 from 1977. This bad ass cover was drawn by Rich Buckler and Ernie Chan and features one of my favorite villains of all time-The Constrictor! He goes on even today in current comics to brag about how he once “went one on one with the Hulk”, well this is the battle he’s talking about. Actually though I must say the Hulk serves the Constrictor’s ass to him on platter pretty quickly. Still folks it just doesn’t get any better than this and to believe that this issue cost a mere 3o cents? Damn those were the days!! This issue is a must have if you’re looking for a great old school Marvel adventure and it’s got one killer cover…

  • Dork Trivia of the Day!!

    So here’s a question I have pondered for quite sometime:

    Who came first the Man-Thing or Swamp Thing?!

    It would seem that one MUST have copied the other, they both are squishy, slimey monsters that roam around in the swamp and they both decided to have their last name be “Thing”….coincidence? I highly doubt it! Well I decided to finally check out exactly who jumped onto the scene first. It appears that Marvel’s Man thing hopped onto the scene a mere  2 months before DC’s Swamp Thing way back in 1971!!

    Man-Thing made his first appearance in the May issue of Savage Tales #1 and Swamp Thing jumped onto the scene in the July issue of House of Secrets #92. So even though it seems that Swamp Thing has reaped a lot more success than our buddy Man-Thing we all know who the O.G. swamp monster really was! Thank god I can finally get some rest at night now!!

  • Phoenix Jones: Seattle’s Finest Super Hero!

    Today I just discovered this news story that somehow slipped under my radar and it’s a pretty good one! Now this is the kinda news I can really get behind! Phoenix Jones is not a comic book character, but the Northwests finest real life super hero.

    Unlike almost all other “real life super heroes” that mostly just walk around in a costume and hand out food to homeless people (which is admirable) Jones actually fights crime! He’s been on the news now several times, had guns pulled on him, been stabbed, beaten up and actually stopped crimes from happening! check this out…


    (more…)

  • Alpha Flight Preview Arrives!

    I just found out a few minutes ago that there’s a 9 page preview up for the upcoming 8 issue limited Alpha Flight series that ties into the current “Fear Itself” storyline! Now I’m not really following the Fear Itself storyline per say as personally it just really didn’t sound all that interesting to me. If I was made of money these days I would most likely be throwing down the cash for it regardless but sadly as of late I have to be a bit more picky with my weekly selections. However I will be checking out this mini series as it features quite possibly my fave super hero team of all time.

    Anyway as you can imagine I am downright thrilled to see Alpha Flight is back again! Even Bendis couldn’t keep them down, but the question remains is this going to be the Alpha Flight book fans have been waiting for? Is this the answer to John Byrne’s magnificent 80’s run? Well if you check out this link here you can make that judgement yourself I have my fingers crossed as I’m going to check out the first nine pages right now! One question I have however is what the heck happened to Marrina? She looks like she just got off work from her weekend job at Hot Topic!

  • Obscure Super Hero Flicks! Part Two!!

    So you just couldn’t get enough of Thor this weekend huh? You’re still craving your super hero movie fix like a maniac? Well calm the hell down and check this shit out! So here we have another amazing movie that you super hero fanatics probably have NEVER seen before! So instead of watching Iron Man 2 again watch something with a little more class already! Fear not because Argoman has arrived!!

    This Italian film from 1967 features the masked playboy Argoman fights to retrieve the worlds biggest diamond from crazy evil woman named Jenabelle and her henchmen of  villainous robots! Argoman’s kryptonite apparently is unfortunately having sex! Where he loses his superpowers for hours after the experience! Sucks for him!! Oh well no pain no gain I guess! Check out this trailer to see this guy in action!

  • Bendis, Maleev and Moon Knight!

    Today the brand new debut issue of Moon Knight came out and I have got to say I set my expectations pretty high. What I have been hoping for here is that lightning will strike twice-meaning Bendis and Maleev will bring to Moon Knight what they did for Daredevil years ago. Let me start by saying the Bendis / Maleev run on Daredevil was one of the best reads I have ever had on a comic book. It was easily one of the most consistently great ones at the very least.

    Now however Bendis, who lives right around the corner from my store here in Portland Oregon, has become less than impressive in my opinion in the world of comic books as of late. However (more…)