Universal Dork

The Most Unsuccessful Blog on the 'Net Since 2009!

recent posts

about

  • Universal Dork’s Halloween Horror Picks #2! Cronenberg’s BEST!

    People just love Cronenberg! However many people who love him today for movies like Eastern Promises & A History of Violence have long forgotten his amazing horror films like The Fly and his best in my opinion “The Brood”. If you have never seen this incredibly creepy movie from 1979 you are missing out big time. It’s also best that you know as little as possible about the plot as it will confuse you right up until the truly shocking finale. It’s been described as a horror version of Kramer vs. Kramer and I’d have to say that’s a neat way to look at this one.

    It’s follows the story of a man who’s wife is receiving a strange theatrical therapy to help her with mental and emotional problems she’s experiencing. However when the husband finds bruises and cuts on their daughter he begins to suspect his mentally imbalanced wife may be to blame.

    To make matters worse a brood of horrifying mutant children begin creeping around inside their house and soon people end up dead. This one is a Cronenberg masterpeice that should not be missed or seen again this Halloween! A true horror classic!!

  • It’s October & Universal Dork’s Horror Movie Picks Start Today!

    Yay it’s October and we all know what that means- Halloween is on the way! So naturally everybody is going bananas over watching some good Horror movies! So here at Universal Dork I am going to give you a bunch of horror movies this month that you need to check out. Yeah Yeah we all love Child’s Play, Halloween, Nightmare on Elm Street, Paranormal Activity ect. ect. but let’s say you’re a bit tired of the normal “classics”. Well fear no more people I’ve got a list of some movies you may want to watch instead to get the adrenaline pumpin! So today’s movie is a real nice simple little horror gem from 2007 that many people have missed out on.

    “End of the Line” is a cool ass movie that will make you fear crazy ass religious fanatics more than ol’ Michael Meyers or Freddy!
    It follows a group of people who end up stuck in a subway shortly after a religious takeover is launched upon the “sinners” of the world by a creepy Christian Tel-evangelist.

    This unique Canadian movie is jam packed with some genuinely frightening moments that will surely make you jump from your seat. I loved the plot of this one as it brings to light just how creepy organized religious people can be. If your looking for something original this Halloween season I recommend this great little indie film to kick off the month!

  • Comic Book Cover of the Week! Mignola & The Hulk!

    This awesome cover for The Incredible Hulk # 302 which debuted in December of 1984 and is beautifully illustrated by Mike Mignola. It’s from a great Hulk story arc where he is banished to “The Crossroads”, a strange dream-like world in another dimension, which Doctor Strange exiles him to for quite a few issues. You see right around this time The Hulk was causing the world a lot of trouble. Shortly before this however The Hulk inherited Banners brain and was “free” of the monster. Hell he was even asked to join The Avengers again! However it didn’t take long before the monster took full control again and The Hulk became a near mindless monster entirely.

    During his time in The Crossroads The Hulk traveled to many strange places, this particular issue he arrived in a bizarre midieval kingdom where there was race of brutal red skinned knights rule the land and as The Hulk learns early on he is no match for their strength. This is a great story as The savage Hulk learns what it feels like to no longer be the strongest one there is. The Hulk gets his ass kicked bad multiple times here like never before.

    It also features a green skinned maiden who’s tears turn to flowers who I think may remind Hulk of his old flame Jarella.Oh yeah and no one speaks english so it’s pretty neat as it’s based on the art and some minor narration. Check out these great Crossroad Hulk adventures they’re actually pretty awesome and heartfelt. Also you get some amazing covers by Hellboy’s own Mike Mignola-which is quite special if you’re a Hulk fanatic!

  • Most Lame Movie Kill Ever!!

    I like to blog as much as possible, but alas sometimes I can’t think of jack shit to write about! That’s when you can expect shit like this, which I think is better than a thousand words…

    Oh yeah and if you think there’s one more lame than this I’d like to see it! I doubt this one can be topped!

  • Fievre: Mixing Lucid Dreams & Horror!

    I have always been intrigued with lucid dreaming as I have myself had the pleasure of having them many times in my life thus far. If you don’t know what lucid dreaming is then let me explain simply. It’s when while dreaming something suddenly triggers an awareness that you are inside a dream. Usually if you can avoid waking by the sensation you can actively manipulate the surroundings, situations & people you encounter. It also many times grants the dreamer super powers like flying ect. I have to say once you have a lucid dream you’ll never quite be the same.

    Well this brings me to a new upcoming horror film I am excited about, Romain Basset’s “Fievre” or Fever as it will be called here in the US. Much of this movie supposedly takes place in the surreal dreamworld and from what have heard so far doesn’t skimp on gore or cool creature effects. There’s a great piece on it here at Rue Morgue that’s pretty awesome. The synopsis sounds pretty interesting:

    “Jessica has never dreamed in her life but has had regular nightmares, the meaning of which escaped her. This peculiarity has led her to conduct studies specializing in the psychophysiology of dreams and to follow a therapy with Sean, her mentor and boyfriend, to try and understand the origins of her nightmares (more…)

  • The Wolverine: First Official Movie Pic Proves Nothing!

    Today this new first official picture from “The Wolverine”, Marvel’s second attempt at a solo Wolverine movie after the god awful X-men Origins: Wolverine has finally arrived. Many are saying that from this pic alone that the franchise is finally headed in the right direction. I say this new picture don’t prove JACK SHIT! To me all this picture proves is that Jackman has been lifting weights, something required um if you’re gonna play Wolverine in a god damn movie!! It also shows that he’s got a lot of veins on his arms and that he maybe just walked out of a barber shop! This picture could have been from the last movie for cryin’ out loud! I bet this movie ends up a slick rubbery cg schlock fest. I don’t think Hollywood is capable anymore of making a “real” Wolverine movie. I think Jackman’s day is done as the character. I was personally hoping for a reboot! Can you believe that? Me hoping for a reboot?

    Oh yeah one last thing Hollywood would you please give Wolverine his crazy fucked up hair? This pic looks like Hugh Jackman in a GQ photo shoot with claws rather than Wolverine with his claws unsheathed…until I see a trailer I’m gonna be a dick about this one..ok done ranting…

  • Is “Revival” the Next Walking Dead?

    I have been reading the new image series “Revival” the past few months and it’s quickly shaping up to be one of my favorite monthly titles. I am making bet that it becomes the next big hit for Image comics. I still am a big Walking Dead fanatic, though for me the story has gotten a little dull over the past year or so. Even with the “shocking” death of Glenn recently I think Kirkman needs to shift gears in the series and bring The Walking Dead story to some new fresh levels. The Walking Dead is feeling a little to “dead” lately, as I have said before “shocking” deaths don’t necessarily equal great story telling.

    So I am pleased to report there’s a great new series that does deliver us some fresh new ideas on the “undead” a genre which to be quite honest is boring the shit out of me lately. New zombie movies? I don’t even care to see ’em anymore. I’m so burnt out on the zombie thing it makes me kinda sick to my stomach. However this ain’t the case with Revival. So far they’ve crafted an intriguing little story set in my home state of Wisconsin. Yeah there are undead, but not your typical, these people rose from the dead on day in this small contained area of the country. They aren’t mindless creatures, they return to their former daily lives. The only thing is these undead have quite a temper and on top of that you’ve an eerie thin white creature wandering through the forest and a bizarre religious “Limp Bizkit” listening exorcist taking care of possessed teenagers. Yeah it’s a fun one and it’s all in the hands of a small town detective named Dana. So if you’re looking for a cool, original and refreshing horror “farm noir” adventure then you need to grab Revival ASAP! I’s bound to be big.. Also for a great interview with the series creators Timm Seely & Mike Norton check Comicbookresources.com and get the full scoop!

  • Hypothermia: Best Movie Poster Of 2012!

    I am a sucker for a good creature feature and right now I have high hopes for Hypothermia! This movie will be released Oct 2nd on DVD which is right around the corner here. It seems there’s a shortage of good monster flicks these days so I am hoping this one will deliver. So far I like the plot, which is nice and simple. It follows a group of ice fishers in Maine who aren’t catching anything in their local lake. They do a little research and find out that there are no fish inhabiting the lake at all….just a weird monster beneath the ice!

    So far from the still via Dreadcentral.com it looks like a weird humanoid lamprey. Hopefully the movie isn’t jam packed with shitty cg. One thing it definately has going for it though is it’s movie poster! Talk about a throwback to 80’s VHS!!

  • When’s the Last Time You Visited Eerie, Indiana?!

    Let me guess, the answer to that question above is you’ve never been there? Well I recently caught up with this short lived little show the other night and it was a whole lot of dumb fun! The show originally aired in 1991 and was canceled in 1992. It’s a pretty fun little show that follows two pre-teen boys as they try to solve the supernatural mysteries that occur in the small Indiana town of Eerie.

    What I didn’t realize is that the show’s creative consultant was none other than Joe Dante, who actually directs a handful of the 19 existing episodes. If you’re looking for a fun forgotten throwback tv show check this out- the opening here will give you a good idea of what you may have “missed out” on!

  • The Avengers 2 gets Thanos…yawn…The Avengers 3: Top 5 Villains Wishlist!

    It’s been confirmed today that Thanos will be the official villain for both The Avengers 2 and The Guardians of the Galaxy. Seriously both movies?! That’s a double dose of one of my least favorite Avengers villains ever! Uggh….I know everyone loves the Infinity Gauntlet but well to me I have always thought Thanos was a rather lackluster villain. He’s like DC’s Darseid only not as cool. I really was hoping that we’d get something different from the second Avengers movie, maybe even save this Thanos thing for the third movie as it seems inevitable that they’d have to make that storyline go somewhere.

    I guess the whole cosmic Avengers and X-men stories for some reason have been my least favorite. But hey people fucking love shit when it’s in space, Jason, Hellraiser and god damn Leprechaun all made it into space right? Personally I always liked a more personal earthly threat, though I loved The Avengers I thought it’s villain/villains were a bit flawed and to be quite honest rather dull. The next installment I think needs an awesome cast of villains to deliver on levels and not only challenge the Avengers but really hurt them on more than just a physical level. I just don’t think Thanos is the man for the job. If it were up to me we’d see something like this for the third film:

    1. Baron Zemo & The Masters of Evil:

    To me having Zemo and The Masters of Evil would be the most perfect story for the next film. Not only do things get heated with these guys and The Avengers they downright dirty! If you don’t believe me just read The Avengers: Under Seige storyline, in my opinion the best Avengers story ever. With the Masters you also get a boatload of major villains that would be amazing to see on the big screen!

    2. Doctor Doom:

    This guy is easily one of the greatest villains ever!! Seriously everyone hates this guy, from Spidey, to Cap, to the Fantastic Four to yeah The Avengers! Seriously Marvel don’t waste your time saving him for yet another crappy ass Fantastic Four flick. Do him right-save him for the third film at least. Just let him be the ultimate Marvel villain he’s destined to be…Put him up against The Avengers!!

    3. The Leader and his Gamma Crew:

    So for The Avengers we got Thor’s ultimate villain Loki in the spotlight and personally he didn’t cut the cake for me! So why not bring a major Hulk villain to the table? We already got a glimpse of Samuel Sterns in the Norton Hulk film, so why not bring him into The Avengers 3? He could bring along a team of gamma freaks to take on the team also. The return of a further mutated Abomination (looking more like the comic book version), the evil gamma zombie Half-life, The Harpy, even the Bi-beast could be part of his crew….and of course his rubbery pink henchmen would have to be in it as well!

    4. Modok:

    He was rumored as a possible villain in one of the upcoming movies already, but this freak would be the perfect villain for an Avengers movie. Imagine how horrific this guy would look on the big screen! Plus he rules over A.I.M. and they’d be the perfect threat against Shield & the team. So let’s get this weirdo on the big screen because he’s sure to put some real fear into movie goers hearts!

    5. Ultron:

    Now this guy could be quite possibly the coolest most ruthless Avenger’s villain of them all! Leave it to Hank Pym to fuck shit up for the team because in the third movie (assuming he appears in the second film) he could introduces his greatest creation Ultron to the world! Yeah and then shortly after Ultron goes berserk and decides that the world must be rid of humans and become completely cybertronic! A simple concept that potentially threatens the entire planet. imagine all of awesome robotic creatures the Avengers could face off against! Plus they’d have to include Jocasta to The Avengers roster-the hottest robot of all time!!