Universal Dork

The Most Unsuccessful Blog on the 'Net Since 2009!

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  • OFF! + Jack Black = AWESOME!

    I love OFF! they are easily one of my favorite bands around today. Consisting of members of Black Flag, Circle Jerks, Redd Kross and Rocket From the Crypt these guys show the young pups what real punk rock is supposed to sound like.

    With most songs clocking in at around a minutes or less they’ve managed to recreate perfect punk rock you’d swear was recorded in 1981.

    Well now they’ve teamed up with Jack Black to make one of the best videos of the year, a grindhouse movie battle crammed into one minute of pure awesomeness….enjoy!

  • Did The Uncanny Avengers Live Up to the Hype?

    I just got done reading The Uncanny Avengers #1, one of the most hyped comics books in quite some time. Marvel has even reported over 300,000 issues already sold. So was it as amazing as everyone hoped? I think so. Now granted this is issue #1 only, but in the aftermath of AVX which I will admit I didn’t read it all ( hey comic books are expensive and to be honest I can’t afford to read all the tiles I’d like to every week for 4 bucks a pop) this issue is a fantastic start to something that could be really awesome. It’s first off beautifully drawn by John Cassaday, while reading it, it brought back great memories of Joss Whedon’s Astonishing X-men run second Remender does a great job with grabbing you in with some heartfelt story telling in the wake of Professor X’s death.

    What we have here in issue one is basically Captain America asking Havok to lead a special Avengers team, Wolverine telling the world they failed Chuck Xavier and his dream, an attack by Avalanche on the city in the name of mutant revenge on humans and lastly Rogue confronting The Scarlet Witch at Xavier’s grave. I thought it was a great scene in where we get to really understand where both of these characters are coming from dealing with the recent “death”.

    Lastly we get a new(?) gang of villains who attack. We have ‘The Goat Faced Girl” who’s creepy enough along with, an insect man, a water controlling octopus woman, a winged demon woman and a snapping turtle man guy. So yeah not sure what I think about these dudes yet…we’ll see. Finally we get a look at the “major villain” which is really not much of a surprise but steals something for him self which will be important I’d imagine to the X-men. A really impressive first issue overall, with wonderful artwork and an exciting story coming together it will be interesting to see how long The Avengers remain Uncanny…..

  • Universal Dork’s Halloween Horror Picks #2! Cronenberg’s BEST!

    People just love Cronenberg! However many people who love him today for movies like Eastern Promises & A History of Violence have long forgotten his amazing horror films like The Fly and his best in my opinion “The Brood”. If you have never seen this incredibly creepy movie from 1979 you are missing out big time. It’s also best that you know as little as possible about the plot as it will confuse you right up until the truly shocking finale. It’s been described as a horror version of Kramer vs. Kramer and I’d have to say that’s a neat way to look at this one.

    It’s follows the story of a man who’s wife is receiving a strange theatrical therapy to help her with mental and emotional problems she’s experiencing. However when the husband finds bruises and cuts on their daughter he begins to suspect his mentally imbalanced wife may be to blame.

    To make matters worse a brood of horrifying mutant children begin creeping around inside their house and soon people end up dead. This one is a Cronenberg masterpeice that should not be missed or seen again this Halloween! A true horror classic!!

  • It’s October & Universal Dork’s Horror Movie Picks Start Today!

    Yay it’s October and we all know what that means- Halloween is on the way! So naturally everybody is going bananas over watching some good Horror movies! So here at Universal Dork I am going to give you a bunch of horror movies this month that you need to check out. Yeah Yeah we all love Child’s Play, Halloween, Nightmare on Elm Street, Paranormal Activity ect. ect. but let’s say you’re a bit tired of the normal “classics”. Well fear no more people I’ve got a list of some movies you may want to watch instead to get the adrenaline pumpin! So today’s movie is a real nice simple little horror gem from 2007 that many people have missed out on.

    “End of the Line” is a cool ass movie that will make you fear crazy ass religious fanatics more than ol’ Michael Meyers or Freddy!
    It follows a group of people who end up stuck in a subway shortly after a religious takeover is launched upon the “sinners” of the world by a creepy Christian Tel-evangelist.

    This unique Canadian movie is jam packed with some genuinely frightening moments that will surely make you jump from your seat. I loved the plot of this one as it brings to light just how creepy organized religious people can be. If your looking for something original this Halloween season I recommend this great little indie film to kick off the month!

  • Comic Book Cover of the Week! Mignola & The Hulk!

    This awesome cover for The Incredible Hulk # 302 which debuted in December of 1984 and is beautifully illustrated by Mike Mignola. It’s from a great Hulk story arc where he is banished to “The Crossroads”, a strange dream-like world in another dimension, which Doctor Strange exiles him to for quite a few issues. You see right around this time The Hulk was causing the world a lot of trouble. Shortly before this however The Hulk inherited Banners brain and was “free” of the monster. Hell he was even asked to join The Avengers again! However it didn’t take long before the monster took full control again and The Hulk became a near mindless monster entirely.

    During his time in The Crossroads The Hulk traveled to many strange places, this particular issue he arrived in a bizarre midieval kingdom where there was race of brutal red skinned knights rule the land and as The Hulk learns early on he is no match for their strength. This is a great story as The savage Hulk learns what it feels like to no longer be the strongest one there is. The Hulk gets his ass kicked bad multiple times here like never before.

    It also features a green skinned maiden who’s tears turn to flowers who I think may remind Hulk of his old flame Jarella.Oh yeah and no one speaks english so it’s pretty neat as it’s based on the art and some minor narration. Check out these great Crossroad Hulk adventures they’re actually pretty awesome and heartfelt. Also you get some amazing covers by Hellboy’s own Mike Mignola-which is quite special if you’re a Hulk fanatic!

  • Most Lame Movie Kill Ever!!

    I like to blog as much as possible, but alas sometimes I can’t think of jack shit to write about! That’s when you can expect shit like this, which I think is better than a thousand words…

    Oh yeah and if you think there’s one more lame than this I’d like to see it! I doubt this one can be topped!

  • Fievre: Mixing Lucid Dreams & Horror!

    I have always been intrigued with lucid dreaming as I have myself had the pleasure of having them many times in my life thus far. If you don’t know what lucid dreaming is then let me explain simply. It’s when while dreaming something suddenly triggers an awareness that you are inside a dream. Usually if you can avoid waking by the sensation you can actively manipulate the surroundings, situations & people you encounter. It also many times grants the dreamer super powers like flying ect. I have to say once you have a lucid dream you’ll never quite be the same.

    Well this brings me to a new upcoming horror film I am excited about, Romain Basset’s “Fievre” or Fever as it will be called here in the US. Much of this movie supposedly takes place in the surreal dreamworld and from what have heard so far doesn’t skimp on gore or cool creature effects. There’s a great piece on it here at Rue Morgue that’s pretty awesome. The synopsis sounds pretty interesting:

    “Jessica has never dreamed in her life but has had regular nightmares, the meaning of which escaped her. This peculiarity has led her to conduct studies specializing in the psychophysiology of dreams and to follow a therapy with Sean, her mentor and boyfriend, to try and understand the origins of her nightmares (more…)

  • The Wolverine: First Official Movie Pic Proves Nothing!

    Today this new first official picture from “The Wolverine”, Marvel’s second attempt at a solo Wolverine movie after the god awful X-men Origins: Wolverine has finally arrived. Many are saying that from this pic alone that the franchise is finally headed in the right direction. I say this new picture don’t prove JACK SHIT! To me all this picture proves is that Jackman has been lifting weights, something required um if you’re gonna play Wolverine in a god damn movie!! It also shows that he’s got a lot of veins on his arms and that he maybe just walked out of a barber shop! This picture could have been from the last movie for cryin’ out loud! I bet this movie ends up a slick rubbery cg schlock fest. I don’t think Hollywood is capable anymore of making a “real” Wolverine movie. I think Jackman’s day is done as the character. I was personally hoping for a reboot! Can you believe that? Me hoping for a reboot?

    Oh yeah one last thing Hollywood would you please give Wolverine his crazy fucked up hair? This pic looks like Hugh Jackman in a GQ photo shoot with claws rather than Wolverine with his claws unsheathed…until I see a trailer I’m gonna be a dick about this one..ok done ranting…

  • Is “Revival” the Next Walking Dead?

    I have been reading the new image series “Revival” the past few months and it’s quickly shaping up to be one of my favorite monthly titles. I am making bet that it becomes the next big hit for Image comics. I still am a big Walking Dead fanatic, though for me the story has gotten a little dull over the past year or so. Even with the “shocking” death of Glenn recently I think Kirkman needs to shift gears in the series and bring The Walking Dead story to some new fresh levels. The Walking Dead is feeling a little to “dead” lately, as I have said before “shocking” deaths don’t necessarily equal great story telling.

    So I am pleased to report there’s a great new series that does deliver us some fresh new ideas on the “undead” a genre which to be quite honest is boring the shit out of me lately. New zombie movies? I don’t even care to see ’em anymore. I’m so burnt out on the zombie thing it makes me kinda sick to my stomach. However this ain’t the case with Revival. So far they’ve crafted an intriguing little story set in my home state of Wisconsin. Yeah there are undead, but not your typical, these people rose from the dead on day in this small contained area of the country. They aren’t mindless creatures, they return to their former daily lives. The only thing is these undead have quite a temper and on top of that you’ve an eerie thin white creature wandering through the forest and a bizarre religious “Limp Bizkit” listening exorcist taking care of possessed teenagers. Yeah it’s a fun one and it’s all in the hands of a small town detective named Dana. So if you’re looking for a cool, original and refreshing horror “farm noir” adventure then you need to grab Revival ASAP! I’s bound to be big.. Also for a great interview with the series creators Timm Seely & Mike Norton check Comicbookresources.com and get the full scoop!

  • Hypothermia: Best Movie Poster Of 2012!

    I am a sucker for a good creature feature and right now I have high hopes for Hypothermia! This movie will be released Oct 2nd on DVD which is right around the corner here. It seems there’s a shortage of good monster flicks these days so I am hoping this one will deliver. So far I like the plot, which is nice and simple. It follows a group of ice fishers in Maine who aren’t catching anything in their local lake. They do a little research and find out that there are no fish inhabiting the lake at all….just a weird monster beneath the ice!

    So far from the still via Dreadcentral.com it looks like a weird humanoid lamprey. Hopefully the movie isn’t jam packed with shitty cg. One thing it definately has going for it though is it’s movie poster! Talk about a throwback to 80’s VHS!!